New Beginning-Ben's Story
by JennTH
Summary: Continuing on from my first story, New Beginning. It's been a year since the war, and Ben is about to start his second year. Goes from Second year until he is grown up. An OC, so you likely won't like.
1. Summer before second year

Moving these stories to wattpad. Might stop updating here because I'm tired of the drama from that other writer. I haven't decided yet, but if you're interested just PM me. Either I'll update on both sites, but if they keep it up, I might just remove the stories from here.

A/N: Ben's PoV from my first story, New Beginning. This is an OC and you likely won't like. I'm just moving it over from myblog due to some requests who didn't want to read it on my blog. Takes place a year after Battle of Hogwarts and continues until Ben is grown up.

Anyway, I wrote New Beginning years ago, but then I moved it to a blog. I started this story just for fun while I worked on better projects. However, as much as it was just for fun, I grew to enjoy writing about these characters. So whenever I have writers block on my real stories, or even when I am feeling stressed, I write about these characters lives. Many people might not enjoy this since it's OC and all but this story as bad as it might be actually got me through stressful times. Whenever I was feeling upset, I would think about some happy things happening to them or even bad things. I would sit down, and write about them. I logged back onto this site recently and saw some recent requests for this story. So I've decided to resurrect it here since some people don't want to read it on my blog.

"Why don't you come outside with us?" Barry asked me as he stuck his head in the door of my bedroom. "You know I'm not going to be here for much longer, you should spend time with me before I'm gone."

"You'll be around for the rest of the summer," I said irritably as I looked up from the letter I'd received from Ellen.

I'd been working on a potions essay when Ellen's owl had flown through my window. I'd been worried about her because I hadn't heard from her yet. Ashley and I had written to each other the most, but that didn't surprise me too much. I could feel our relationship changing. We'd grown so much closer during the last term. I honestly felt closest to her out of Ellen and Michael.

Lately Ellen had been getting on my nerves quite a bit and I didn't fully trust Michael. He was also bothering me because of his insults towards Ashley. He'd written to me a lot more than I had written to him; his letters were full of love for Ellen and insults about Ashley. So I'd only written back to him a couple of times.

Ellen was the only one who hadn't written to me until that point, but after her receiving her letter I was angry. Her letter was full of insults and about how it was my fault how she believed that her doing well at school would make her parents get along. Not only that, but she made fun of me again about my old crush on Jaime. I was so sick and tired of her bringing Jaime up. Everyone had someone they fell for that they probably shouldn't have.

"Wow what's your problem?" Barry asked. "You should take a break from the school work. I know you want to do well, but you have the rest of the summer."

"Look at this!" I said furiously and I held out Ellen's letter.

Barry entered my room and came over to take the letter. He read through it and frowned.

"Well while it's a rude letter, I don't believe she means it," Barry said. "She's just angry. I can't imagine if mum and dad divorced. I'm sure she's just trying to vent, and she'll regret it later."

"It doesn't excuse it!" I snapped. "She's always doing this when it comes to me. She takes her problems out on me, or else she has to bring up Jaime. Ashley had forgiven me for all of that, we've both moved past it. I feel like Ellen wants to start drama between us. It's awful what she is going through, but it doesn't excuse any of this. It's the same as Michael taking his problems out on Ashley. He's been so rude to her, and even in the letters I've gotten from him he is still insulting her. Michael and Ellen are getting worse. They're my best friends, but sometimes I don't even want to talk to them. Her parents' divorce doesn't justify the rudeness."

"I'm not saying it does, and I can understand why you're angry with her," Barry said. "I would be too; I'm just saying you should give her some time to cool down. I'm sure she will come begging you for forgiveness soon enough."

"Well I am not even going to write back to her," I said and I reached out to take the letter back.

I began ripping it up into little pieces and I threw it into my bin which made a gulping noises. It didn't actually eat the paper, it just vanished it but it was charmed to make sound effects. My parents had bought it for me years ago. When I had been little, I used to throw random things in it just to hear it make the noises.

"She can write back when she's ready to apologize," I continued.

"I think that's your best bet," Barry told me. "Now come on, change into your bathing suit and come out into the pool. You should enjoy your summer holidays. It goes by quicker than you'd think."

I wanted to write to Ashley to tell her about the letter, but as I looked out the window, I decided Barry was right. It was too nice out to be working on homework and fuming about Ellen. An afternoon in the pool would probably relax me.

"Fine, I'll be right down," I said.

"That's a good man," Barry said. "I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me when I first started school, and I should have told Brenda. It's fine to work hard to do well in school, but you need to have fun as well. Don't spend all your time on school work. You need to find a happy medium between the two. I know you think just because you're Hufflepuff that you have to prove yourself, but you really don't. The hat obviously thought you were a Hufflepuff for a reason, and I can honestly see why it does. That doesn't make you less of a Ravenclaw."

Before I could respond, he left the room. I was actually glad by that point that I hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw. Even if I studied more than my friends, I did feel as if I were more of a Hufflepuff than a Ravenclaw. When I'd first been sorted, it hadn't been because of where I'd been put that had made me feel insecure, I would have been happy anywhere, even Slytherin. It was the fact that the hat hadn't considered me for anywhere but Hufflepuff. Other people in my year had stories about how the hat had believed they belonged in more than one place. For me, all Hoofers had always been in Ravenclaw and yet I wasn't. The hat had said: The only place you belong is HUFFLEPUFF!

I didn't regret it though. I was friendly with a lot of people in the four different houses, and I'd found that all the Hufflepuff's were a great bunch of people. I didn't think I could have gotten along too well with the Ravenclaws even if they were nice. I knew I would have hated to share a house with Tara for seven years. For the most part, I had a good group of friends even if Ellen was really bothering me a lot lately. Ashley was starting to feel like my best friend, and I hadn't thought that would happen. Out of the three of my friends, at the beginning of first year I would not have chosen her to be the closest. I would have thought perhaps Michael, and then maybe Ellen but never Ashley. It was funny how things could change in a few months.

I spent most of my summer swimming or doing homework. Barry was right that it was nice to have the time off with no worries. Soon enough we'd be back to school and second year was going to be harder than the first year. We were past all the basics. In a way, I kind of missed being there. I really wanted to talk to Melanie more. Out of all the Hufflepuff girls besides maybe Sarah, I thought she had the same attitude towards homework then I did. I could see us getting along great. I wouldn't have to help like I did with Ashley, and I wouldn't have to remind her to do it like I did with Ellen. Not only that, but she wasn't annoying like some girls could be.

What I liked about Ashley and Ellen was that they weren't too ditzy or emotional. I don't think I could ever date girls like Jess, Anne or Erica, it didn't matter how pretty they were. I wanted someone similar to Ashley but more confident. I figured Melanie was probably the same, but more mature and she had a better attitude towards homework. She was also smart and very beautiful. I could imagine the two of us together in fifth year as prefects. Barry had told me that girls would get jealous of Ashley and Ellen, but I knew Melanie wouldn't.

Ellen sent me another letter later on and I wondered if she had more insults for me. I didn't open her letter right away. I was in such a good mood lately, and I didn't want her to ruin it on me. I was reconnecting with my siblings that summer, even Brenda. It had been a long time since all four of us had really gotten along so well, and I was sure it was because we were older now.

They no longer saw me as the annoying little brother. Barry would also be moving out soon enough. My mum seemed intent on really spoiling us that summer. I wondered if it was because she knew it would be the last summer that all six of us would be under one roof. Brenda was starting her seventh year, Brianne her fifth and me my second.

It wasn't until I got letters from Ashley and Michael almost at the same time (it almost made me wonder if the two of them were hanging out, but I doubted it) that I decided to read Ellen's as well. Both Ashley and Michael's letters both asked me if the last two weeks of August sounded good for me for us to hang out.

Ellen says it's the best time for us to hang out. I asked her if she wanted us to get together for her birthday, but she said no. So let me know. I need to know ahead of time so I can tell Pat. I know you're really angry with Ellen right now, but I think you should go easy on her. I don't know if you've written back to her yet, but if you managed to hold back like you said you would I hope you will stick to it. Let her apologize to you. I'm sure she will. She doesn't complain too much in her letters, but I can sense the depression in them. I haven't heard much from Michael, but that's not a surprise. I wrote to him to ask him if the last two weeks of August sounded good to him too, but I'm sure Ellen did as well. Let me know ASAP so I can talk to Pat, Jaime and Rachel. They told me they'd take over for me. Hope you're having a good summer, and you aren't spending all of it doing homework.

-Ashley

Michael's letter was basically all about Ellen, so I skimmed it. I wondered if the boy ever thought about anything else. I knew Ashley really liked Denver, but she never mentioned him. Although Ellen and I didn't talk that often, I also knew she was interested in Hank but she never mentioned it either. I only talked about Melanie if someone brought her up. All Michael did that summer was talk about Ellen, insult Ashley, or complain about his parents. I knew he did odd jobs, and he hung out with some boys he knew in his town but he never mentioned that. It almost seemed as if he were obsessed with her. I knew a lot of boys wanted her though even though I couldn't understand why. She was pretty enough, but there were a lot of beautiful girls at Hogwarts. Why were they all so obsessed with Ellen? I'd heard so many of the guys talking about her that sometimes I wanted to hit them. She was my best friend and I hated how they talked about her. It was like they were talking about Brenda or Brianne to me.

I grabbed Ellen's unopened letter and pulled it out. I prepared myself about some insults about Jaime or something else about how it was my fault about her homework, but it was just a short letter.

Ben-

My parents said I could visit your place and Ashley's place the last two weeks of August. I'm moving at the end of this month, so I'm going to give you my new address in case you don't write back right away. You can get a hold of me at any address, but Hooty seems smart enough to know anyway. So I'll see you when we get together. When do you want to get together at your place? The first week or the second? We need to know because my mum said she'd take Ashley to your place.

-Ellen

I was annoyed that her letter wasn't full of apologies for her rudeness, but maybe she wanted to wait until she saw me. I was still very angry with her, and I wanted to write her a long mean letter back. I wanted to tell her that if she was going to be so rude and not apologize then perhaps she shouldn't even come over. I thought about Ashley's letter though. It was true, I had held back. I could hold back a while longer, but Ellen was going to hear my exact thoughts soon enough. For now, I would just invite her to my house and give her a second chance.

I wrote a short letter back to her, it took me many times to write back to her. My first few letters to her were full of insults that I couldn't send. In the end, I just told her I was sorry about the divorce and when I thought she and the others would come over. Most of the time my parents took us shopping the second last week of August; so I imagined that was when my friends would come over. So I told her that's when she could come, but my parents would likely write her parents anyway.

I turned to Ashley and Michael's letters next.

You'll be glad to know that I wasn't rude to Ellen. I really wanted to be, but I kept to my word that I wouldn't. Maybe she'll apologize when she comes over anyway. I honestly believe my parents will want you all to come over the second last week. So you guys can come over here first, and then we can go to your place. Usually we go to Diagon Alley the second last week. I'll confirm it with my parents but they will be more than happy to take you there. They are already taking Michael anyway, so one more kid won't hurt. They'll want to write to your mum about it. You know what they're like. So I'll talk to them tonight at dinner and I expect they'll contact both your mum and Ellen's parents. Michael's parents will already let him come over when he wants. He told me this. He said that they barely notice him around. I'm looking forward to seeing you guys. I've almost finished my homework. I've been hanging out with my brother and sisters a lot this summer, but it will be more fun to have people my own age. I'm sure you feel the same way being around little kids so much. I'll see you soon.

-Ben

It was funny how my letters to Ellen and Michael were short and to the point while my letters to Ashley were always more detailed. Our relationship had certainly changed. It was something I would come to think about a lot over the years. I wondered if Ashley noticed our relationship had changed too.

Shortly before my friends arrived, my parents came home from work to give us exciting news. Apparently Hogwarts was hosting the Tri-wizard tournament again that year. It had been five years since the last one, and since it had gone so wrong the last time, they wanted to try it again. My parents also believed that it was to bring up peoples spirits. It had been a year since the war ended and the wizarding world was still picking up the pieces. They figured by holding it again at Hogwarts, it was showing that we'd moved on and the students could have something to look forward to. It was a way to put everything behind us.

I was looking forward to it. I knew that I'd be too young to participate but it would still be fun to watch. They would be taking extra steps this time to make sure that a younger student couldn't enter again. There would be an age line drawn around the Goblet of Fire, but there would also be someone who guarded it the entire time. Each person who was entering would have to show the guard their slip of paper before they could enter. If someone tried to enter a younger student, they wouldn't be allowed to participate in any of the Goblet activities.

I couldn't wait to tell Ashley and Michael all about it. I was sure Ellen would hear about it, but since Ashley and Michael were Muggleborns they wouldn't know. We'd covered the Tri-Wizard Tournament and the war during History of Magic, so they both knew what it was about. No one had thought that it would ever take place again considering what had happened the last time, but they'd changed their minds. I wanted to tell them in person though, so I decided to wait until they all came to my place.

My parents picked up Michael the morning that everyone was coming over. Ellen's mother was picking up Ashley and then she would drop off the girls in the afternoon. Despite the fact that I was still annoyed with Ellen, I did hope that we could make her visit a pleasant one. I'd told my parents about what had happened, but they'd already heard about it anyway. Wizards didn't often divorce, so if it happened, people did gossip. My parents had promised to make my friends visit a fun one.

I was in my room finishing up the last of my homework when Michael entered.

"Of course you're doing homework," Michael said. "I still have some left."

"I've just finished. How can you still have some left? How can you get it done between now and then? You'll be hanging out with us," I said.

"How is that different from any other time?" Michael asked. "Besides, I was hoping you'd help me. I'm sure you'll be helping Ashley and Ellen as well."

"Ashley said she's done," I told him, "but I did tell her I'd look it over. So I'm sure she'll have some work to do. I don't know about Ellen. I didn't really talk to her much this summer."

"I don't see why you're still angry with her," Michael said. "You know she is going through a lot right now. I feel bad for her. I hope you'll go easy on her."

"I don't want to talk about it," I said. "It will just put me in a bad mood, and I will say something to her. So if you want me to take it easy on her, you'll drop the subject and you won't bring it up when they get here."

"I don't get why Ellen's mother is picking up Ashley, it's actually out of the way," Michael said. "She should find her own way here."

"Kind of like it's out of my parent's way to get you?" I asked him. "She's twelve, how is she supposed to find her own way?"

"Your parents said my place was on the way," Michael said. "They don't have a problem with getting me. Why do you have a problem with them getting me?"

"I don't have a problem with it, I'm glad they picked you up. You know it's only on the way from Kings Cross. Today they went out of the way to get you. If Ellen's mother doesn't have a problem getting Ashley, then it shouldn't matter. You tell me I should take it easy on Ellen, but maybe you should be taking it easy on Ashley. I don't get why you've been so rude about her lately," I said.

"Don't worry, I am not going to be rude to your precious girlfriend," Michael said. "But perhaps stop and think that maybe I have a reason to be angry with Ashley just like you have a reason to be angry with Ellen."

"And what could that reason be?" I asked trying to think of what she could possibly have done to him. Perhaps she had done something. Ashley could get under peoples skin without meaning to, but I couldn't think of anything she could do to justify his actions.

"I am not sure yet, I am trying to figure it out," Michael said. "I've been talking to Jared a lot about it. He was the one who pointed some things out to me. He might be completely wrong, but I have to find out myself."

"You realize he might be trying to turn you against her because he hates her?" I asked.

"Look, this conversation is over," Michael said. "Just leave it. I won't be rude to her, but that's all I am going to say. So drop it."

I could sense that there was going to be a fight with our group. I wasn't sure how much longer I could tolerate Ellen's attitude if she kept it up, or Michael's attitude towards Ashley. I was sure Ellen felt the same way about me. I knew how Ashley felt about Michael. I could see all of us all fighting, expect perhaps Ashley and me. The only thing that annoyed me was how passive aggressive she could be. She had no problem complaining about Michael's treatment about her, but she never did anything about it. She would just take it, and I was getting tired of it. She needed to tell the boy off instead of keeping it to herself. When I had been rude to her, she could tell me straight up how she felt. She had done the same with Denver as well. So why couldn't she say something to Michael?

"Fine, let's just go down in the pool. Barry and Brianne are in the pool right now. I was just waiting for you to come. Brenda said she would greet the girls when they come. She has things to do before she joins us," I said.

After we got ready to go down to the pool, I told Michael all about the Tri-wizard tournament. Instantly he started going on about how he could enter the tournament.

"Just think how impressed Ellen will be," he said. "I'll be breaking the rules and I'll be the youngest champion ever."

"They're taking different measures to prevent that this year," I said.

"I'll find a way," Michael said.

I shook my head but I figured the boy could dream all he wanted. He would never be able to enter. Even if somehow he managed to enter the Goblet wouldn't pick him. It would pick the best candidate from each school. A second year boy would never be the best candidate. I wanted us all to get along though, so I kept my mouth shut. Sometimes I had to wonder where my friends got their ideas from though. All three of them could come up with really dumb things at times.

"The kids have arrived," Barry said as we walked out on the patio. He and Brianne were leaning against one side of the pool with drinks in their hands. "Where are your two girlfriends Ben? You'll have to watch yourself if they're wearing bikinis."

I rolled my eyes as Michael shot a furious glance in my direction.

"I hope you're not going to embarrass them," Brianne said. "They're at an insecure age."

"Who? The boys or the girls?" Barry asked. "I have no problem with making fun of my little brother."

"I'm talking about Ellen and Ashley. Don't make any comments about them," Brianne said.

"I'm not going to comment on twelve year old girls," Barry said. "I'm just teasing Ben here. You know you're going to date one of them."

"No he won't. Ellen won't ever want to date him, he doesn't have a chance with a girl like that and Ben will date never Ashley. No boy will ever date her, she's too ugly," Michael said as he climbed into the pool. "I hope she's not wearing a bikini, no one wants to see that."

"I told you to stop," I said to Michael furiously following him into the pool just as Brianne said: "That's not very nice. You shouldn't make fun of her."

"Whatever," Michael said.

"And Ben could very well have a chance with Ellen later," Barry said no longer joking. "He's going to have a lot of girls interested. I'm willing to bet both Ashley and Ellen are going to want him at some point."

"Ashley will," Michael said. "She will always fall for the ones she can never have. Right now she's interested with this boy named Denver, but we all know he won't go for her. She'll probably want Ben and me eventually, but I know for sure I'll never want her. Ben will never want her either."

"You're very rude about people who are supposed to be your friends," Barry said. "It's fine if you don't see her that way, but there is no need to be like that. I don't really appreciate you insulting my brother either."

"And I can speak for myself about who I am or I'm not attracted to," I added.

"You've said yourself that you'd never date Ashley. You've gotten angry when people have brought it up," Michael said. "I don't see why you suddenly being so defensive about it. Don't tell me you've gone and fallen for her."

"I have not fallen for her, but everyone has different tastes. Just like you want Ellen, and I don't see her that way," I responded. "All I want is for you to stop insulting her that way. Who knows, maybe I will change my mind about Ashley or Ellen. For now? No, I don't feel I will ever date either one of them but Barry said the same as Tasha. Now look at them. Besides, I am very sure that Denver is just as interested in Ashley as she is in him."

"No wonder that girl has no confidence if that's the way you treat her," Brianne said annoyed. "You might not want to hear this, and you may not believe it but at your age is one of the most insecure times for a girl. Stop making her feel bad about herself. If you keep it up, she might not ever have any confidence. She's at a vulnerable age, and so is Ellen for that matter. Anything you say to them now can affect them for years. It's the same with you two. It's only been three years since I was twelve and I remember it was a hard age. Stop insulting her."

Michael looked annoyed about being told off, but he kept his mouth shut. I was really worried about how this visit was going to go. Thankfully, Brenda came out to inform us that the girls had arrived.

"I told them you were out here. They've gone upstairs to change," she told us.

"Are you going to join us?" Barry asked.

"Maybe later," Brenda said. "But honestly, the last thing I want to do is hang out with a bunch of twelve year olds."

She went back inside and I looked over at Michael who was staring at the patio door expectedly.

"Be nice," I told him, "Seriously, this is supposed to be a fun visit."

The girls seemed to take a while to come down. Ashley came out wearing a yellow one piece and she was carrying a yellow towel with a black outline. She was obviously still going with Hufflepuff themed stuff. She was obsessed with accessorizing with it. I couldn't help but think that yellow actually looked good on her though. She was the type of person who looked better with bright colours instead of darker ones. She'd gotten a nice tan over the summer, and the yellow showed it nicely. Ellen trailed behind her sporting a red bikini.

"About time!" I called out to Ashley as she approached the pool. "You're really going all out with the Hufflepuff theme, aren't you?"

"Wait until you see my room," she said as she climbed in. "And Rachel told me she'd paint my nails a Hufflepuff theme before I go back to school."

Michael didn't seem to notice her arrival; he was too busy staring at Ellen in her bikini. I felt sorry for her instantly. He wasn't going to take his eyes off of her for the rest of the day. I could already see the discomfort in her eyes as she noticed him. I wondered if she knew about his crush on her. I was sure she had to since he was very open about it now. He used to try and hide it, but lately he showed it. Anyone there could see he wanted her. I'm sure she regretted her suit choice at that point.

"Really?" Ellen asked who was still outside of the pool "Ooh, ask her to do it while we're at your place and then she can do mine too. That is so neat. I would never have thought of that."

"Oooh," Barry said in imitation. "I want Ravenclaw nails!"

I smiled. I couldn't understand the fuss about nails and nail polish, but apparently Brianne did since she was jealous. The talk turned to the Tri-Wizard tournament, and as it turned out, Ellen hadn't known about it. We spent the day swimming and talking about it. Michael did all he could to get close to Ellen, and she did all she could to subtly let him down. From most of the comments she made to him, anyone could see she was trying in the most polite way possible to turn him down.

"He has it so bad for her," Barry whispered to me as Michael put an arm around an uncomfortable Ellen.

"Yes he certainly does. She doesn't want him though," I whispered back. "It's not going to be good when she finally turns him down."

"And he thinks you don't have a chance with her. If you don't, he most certainly doesn't," Barry muttered.

"I don't want a chance with her," I said. "She's like a sister to me."

"For now," Barry said and swam off.

I was honestly tired of people saying that. I could admit Ellen was pretty enough, but I just didn't see her that way. I could never date her and I couldn't see myself changing my mind. I knew so many people believed I would when we got older, but I just honestly doubted it. I could not understand why so many boys wanted her. I could think of many girls who were a lot prettier. Ellen was just another girl to me.

As we climbed out of the pool later, I swam to Ashley and said: "Someone needs to turn that boy off."

She nodded in agreement. She looked over at them. Michael had already gotten out of the pool and he was trying to help Ellen climb out. She gave him a small smile and then walked away quickly to grab her towel. She wrapped it around herself and then walked over to the patio table where she sat down between Brianne and Brenda. Ashley and I sat down side by side. Michael took the remaining chair beside Barry. He looked very upset. He shot a hurt look at Ellen and then sent a glare at Ashley who didn't notice.

My parents joined us with some food. They asked Ellen questions about the divorce. I thought for sure she would be upset by this, but she seemed to be in a better mood then she had been. As I watched her answer their questions it made me second guess whether or not I was going to tell her off for the letter. It had obviously been written in anger. Perhaps now that she was happier, she would stop. If she continued her attitude towards me, I'd have to say something but for that moment I wouldn't say a word.

Later Ashley and I discussed Michael and Ellen while we were alone.

"Michael made me promise not to say anything about Ellen, but it's obvious to anyone there that he wants her," I told Ashley. "I think she even knows, and she doesn't look happy about it."

"She's not," Ashley told me. "Ellen told me that she's not interested in him at all, and she doesn't want to ruin their friendship. She's hoping to do what she can to make sure he realizes she isn't interested without hurting him. She's worried about how awkward things will be."

"Michael told me last year, well I guessed anyway. I told him the same thing. It will be awkward," I replied. "He seemed to be good about hiding it at first, but he's definitely not today. Even Barry has noticed."

"Well you like Melanie," Ashley said. "Maybe you could try setting him up with Sarah. The two of you could double date."

"Double date where?" I asked her. "We're only second years, we can't go to Hogsmeade."

"Slughorns parties," She answered.

"I guess so," I answered. "We're going to have to do something. I think he's worse than I was when I liked Jaime."

"Well Ellen didn't tell me who, but she does like someone. So maybe he'll get the hint then," She said. "And then he can move on."

I was surprised Ellen hadn't said anything about Hank. I wasn't going to say anything in case I was wrong. I voiced what I had been worried about for a while.

"I don't know. I have a feeling this is going to end badly no matter what. It's not the same as with your sister. I barely saw her, we're all friends. You know that both you and I are going to end up taking sides… and quite frankly, from the way she has been acting around me I doubt I can take her side."

"And I doubt I can take Michael's side," Ashley added. "Even if I do feel bad for him. Not with the way he has been treating me."

We glanced at each other and I could see she was worried just as I was that we were all going to end up getting into a huge fight. There was just so much resentment between some of us at the moment.

The rest of the week at my house, my parents seemed determined to spoil my friends as much as possible. While they were there, Ashley and Ellen had a girl's night with my sisters one evening. It was interesting to see Brenda actually having a girl's night, especially with girls so much younger. She's never gotten along with any of our friends, but she seemed determined since Easter to be nice to my friends.

While they did that, I decided that Michael and I should have a boy's night. I figured I could have a talk with Michael about his behaviour around Ellen. We played a two man poker game. I wasn't sure how to bring it up at first.

"What do you think the girls are doing in there?" Michael asked meaning Brianne and Brenda's room.

"Painting their nails and doing their makeup," I answered. "Believe me; we don't want to be part of that. Brianne does this with her friends all the time."

"Girls gossip as well though," Michael said. "They could be talking about anything. Don't they usually talk about guys? I know Ellen and Ashley do."

"Probably are," I answered with a shrug.

I honestly wasn't that interested in what the girls talked about. Often Ashley and Ellen would wander off so they could have girl talk. I imagined they gossiped about guys, makeup and whatever else. I had grown up with two sisters to know that their conversations wouldn't interest me. Part of me suspected that they were talking about Michael though.

"Do you think they are talking about me?" Michael asked as if reading my mind.

"Might be," I said. "I'm telling you right now to back off from Ellen. You're making things awkward."

"I thought you said you weren't interested in her," Michael said suspiciously.

"I'm not at all mate, but can't you see you're making her uncomfortable?" I asked. "When she first came, you couldn't take your eyes off of her. I'm just saying to step back a bit. Stop staring at her and touching her. You're going about it the wrong way. You're going to push her away."

"I thought if you wanted a girl you had to be aggressive about it. That's what Jared told me," Michael said. "You know he is lucky with the girls. He hasn't had much problems with snogging them."

"I think you should just talk to her," I told him. "Back off a bit and talk to her. Obviously you're not going to get over her, and I think it's a bad idea to be interested in one of our friends. So I think you're just going to have to talk to her about it. Just stop making her feel awkward and uncomfortable. You're putting Ashley and me in an uncomfortable position."

"Are you two talking about me behind my back?" Michael demanded. "I bet she started it too, didn't she?"

"No we haven't talked about it," I lied. "But it makes me uncomfortable. My sisters and Barry can tell how you feel, and they've brought it up. I imagine Ashley has noticed as well. We're your friends, and if you two fight, you're putting us in an awkward position. So I'm just saying to back it off a bit. This is supposed to be a relaxing vacation. Can't you just hold back until we're back at school at least?"

"Why when we're back at school?" Michael asked. "Jared said I should do it during our vacation."

"Because if she says no; then it's going to be awkward for all of us. You're visiting my place this week, and Ashley's next. Think about it, all four of us are going to be around each other constantly. At school at least we can get some space," I said. "And if she does reject you then you can at least try and meet another girl. There is always Sarah or one of the Andrew twins, or anyone else. At Hogwarts you can find a distraction, here you can't."

Michael didn't answer. He stared down at his cards for a moment as if he were thinking my words over.

"You do have a point there," he said. "I'm not blind. I have noticed that Ellen is kind of pulling away. I'll try to lay low a bit for now, but I am going to say something to her. There are other cute girls, but right now it's Ellen that I want."

The girls came into our room a little while later. They both had their faces painted with makeup. I had to admit that at times I wasn't too big of a fan of makeup. I guess it could look okay if it was done right, and my sisters had done well on the girls but other people wore too much. I could never get past how much Jess, Anne and Erica had worn. Melanie on the other hand either didn't wear it or wore it in a subtle way that it wasn't noticeable.

"You two look ready for a night out," I said as they smiled at us.

"Oh really?" Ashley asked. "Are you ready for a date then Ben?"

She walked over to me and sat on my lap. She'd never done anything so bold before, and I was caught off guard. However, it didn't bother me, but having a girl in my lap should be the last thing to bother me. It did however give me thoughts I'd never had with her, ones that I never thought I would have with her. I could imagine myself kissing her. I was so relieved that my friends couldn't see what I was thinking. I didn't want a situation with Ashley that Michael had with Ellen.

"Of course baby," I said recovering quickly. "Took you long enough, I've been ready for hours. You look pretty though."

It was something I'd heard my father say to my mother often. He'd told both Barry and me that we would often be waiting for the girls we dated to get ready. I knew this was true just from witnessing it in the common room with the older guys. Even when I had taken the girls to Slughorns parties I'd noticed it. Ashley smiled at me and raised her recently groomed eyebrows.

"Well I'm worth waiting for," she responded.

"Can't you two get a room?" Ellen asked looking irritated.

"We're just playing around," I said with a grin. "You look good as well."

She did look a lot older. Ellen usually looked so baby faced, but my sisters had fixed her eyebrows up as well and with the makeup she did look a lot mature. From the look on Michael's face, I could see that he liked what he saw. He glanced at Ashley and me with jealousy. I could tell that he'd give anything to be in my place at the moment. He wanted Ellen to be sitting in his lap. For some reason Ellen looked irritated by Ashley and me.

"Yeah we're just kidding around," Ashley said and she got up.

I didn't want her to. I pushed those thoughts away though. I couldn't be having those kinds of thoughts about her. She was my best friend and it was Melanie I wanted. I imagined it was just because it was the first time a girl had sat on me, and that's why I thought those things. I tried to remember my thoughts of last year when I'd never want her. I remembered how angry I would get whenever someone brought us up, but for some reason I couldn't feel that anger anymore. It must have been because we were so close now.

"Your sisters said we should all go hang out on the patio," Ellen said still looking annoyed. "I think Barry is outside. They have some butterbeer."

"Let's go then," Michael said.

He seemed to be holding back. He still couldn't take his eyes off of her. Ashley and I glanced at each other and smiled. The two of them led the way out of my room and down the steps. I couldn't stop thinking about Ashley, and I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't be having those thoughts, not with a good friend of mine. I imagined I just needed to see Melanie again. There was no way that I had feelings for my best friend. It was only because she'd sat on my lap, and it was a different experience for me.

Out on the patio, my sisters and Barry were already laughing together. Barry and Brianne seemed to have gotten into my mother's Sherry while Brenda had a bottle of pumpkin juice.

"Want some Sherry?" Barry asked us.

"No," Brenda said automatically. "They're twelve Barry."

"Ben is going to be thirteen soon," Barry said.

"You think that makes it better?" Brenda asked.

"One glass isn't going to hurt them," Brianne said. "You were drinking wine at their age. It's up to them."

"I'll have a glass," I said.

"I'll just take a butterbeer," Ashley said.

"I'll have a glass," Michael and Ellen said at the same time. I saw Michael grin.

"You don't want to try Sherry?" I asked Ashley as she sat down at the patio. "It could be really good."

"I don't want to get hungover or sick," she answered as she took the butterbeer from the cooler that Barry had outside.

"You won't get sick from one glass," Barry told her.

He pointed his wand at the open patio door and said:

"Accio four glasses."

I can't wait to do magic outside of school I thought to myself as I sat down beside Ashley. How great would it be to get whatever you wanted with just a wave of your wand? I didn't understand why we couldn't do magic until we were seventeen. It made sense for muggleborns because they lived around muggles, but what about people who came from magical families like Ellen and me? Our parents did magic anyways.

The four glasses came flying out of the kitchen and skidded to a halt in front of Barry. He pulled the Sherry out of the cooler and poured us three glasses.

"I'll keep this one out in case you change your mind," Barry told Ashley.

"I'm fine, really," Ashley insisted. "I'll just drink some butterbeer."

"Prude," I thought I heard Michael mutter as he took a seat beside me.

There were only two seats left, one beside Michael and one beside Brenda. Ellen moved her way around the table and took the seat beside Brenda. Michael let out an annoyed sigh beside me but he didn't say anything.

"This isn't bad," Ellen said as she took a sip. "It's actually really good. What is it?"

"It's a kind of wine," Brianne said. "Mum has always let us drink some of it because it isn't too strong. If you drink too much of it of course you'll get drunk, but a glass or two is fine."

"I'm surprised you're not drinking something harder," Michael said. "You're eighteen."

Barry shrugged. "I only drink that stuff if I am partying. Besides, all we had was Sherry and I didn't feel like going out to get anything else."

I took a sip myself but I thought it was too sweet. I decided after this one that I would switch to butterbeer. I was curious about alcohol, and although I wouldn't admit it yet to my friends but I wanted to see what it was like to get drunk. I'd mentioned in the past how dumb it was to drink but over the past few months I'd started to get curious. So far I'd tried wine and now Sherry (which was also a wine) and they hadn't done anything for me. There had to be something better out there though if people loved it so much.

The talk turned to the Tri-wizard tournament again. I could tell that Barry was jealous about not going back to school even though he said he wasn't. Michael seemed eager to find out as much information as he could about it. When Barry went inside, he followed him inside still questioning him. Brianne got up to go inside to write to her friends.

"Let's go upstairs," I told Ashley and Ellen.

"I'm getting tired anyway," Ashley said as we got up.

"I am too, and we have to get up early tomorrow. We're going to Diagon Alley," I told her.

I glanced back at Ellen as we headed inside but she remained at the patio table. I didn't even think she'd heard us. She was talking to Brenda about something. I figured she'd join us eventually, so Ashley and I went upstairs without them. Michael and Barry were in our dining room and listening to the wireless, or I believed Barry was trying to listen to the wireless while Michael kept piling question after question about the tournament.

"Well at least they get along with your siblings," Ashley said as we headed upstairs.

"It's strange to see Ellen and Brenda getting along," I said. "I never told you this, but she used to hate Ellen. She said out of all of my friends, she hated Ellen the most. I guess now it's Michael she can't stand, but none of my siblings like him. Barry is just too nice to say anything."

"Why does Barry hate Michael?" Ashley asked.

"He can't stand his attitude," I replied.

We entered my room and walked over to my desk where the poker set was still set up. We started to clear it up.

"He was insulting you right before you guys came over and Barry told him off for it, so did Brianne for that matter," I told her.

"Can't he think of anything better to talk about?" Ashley asked.

"I don't know, believe me, we're all getting bored of it. He's either insulting you or he talks non-stop about Ellen," I told her.

She turned to her overnight bag and rifled through it to pull out some pajamas. She walked off into the bathroom to change. While she did that, I quickly changed into mine. Michael and I slept on cots my mother had put in my room while the girls took the beds. I sat on the edge of my cot while deep in thought. Something was definitely changing with our friendship and I wasn't sure what to do about it. As soon as I got back to Hogwarts, I was going to have to get with Melanie. It was the only way to stop these strange thoughts that were entering my head.

By the time our two week visit was over, tensions were running high between all of us. I was actually relieved by the time I got home and they were gone. We did have our fun times of course, but there were definitely some tense moments as well. We all seemed to get along better at Ashley's but I figured it was because we did more around her town then we did at my place.

She took us hiking the one day where she'd told us that she spent most of her childhood. She told us it was normally a three hour walk, but we ended up spending the entire day down there. I could see why she loved it out there so much.

"I don't get down here as much as I used to," she admitted. "Between baby-sitting and everything I just don't have the time, but it's nice. I used to read by the pond all the time. No one could bug me down here."

"Is that why you like the lake at Hogwarts so much?" Michael asked her.

It was weird to see him being so nice to her. He'd actually done his best to be polite to her, he was even more polite at her house then he had been at mine. Ellen and I exchanged incredulous glances and Ashley looked over at him surprised.

"I haven't really thought about it, but that could be why," she answered. "It's really relaxing."

I couldn't agree more. The four of us actually had a good day down in the trails, and then the day after that we ended up going to the beach. I think it was the most fun we'd all had in a long time. Even Ellen and I got along without fighting and that was a rare moment for us. There was a moment when we'd all gone down to Diagon Alley where she and I had almost gotten into it, but Ashley had stopped us before we could. Down at the beach it felt like old times between all of us.


	2. Beginnings and Fights

"You know, there was no need to get all snippy with my father," I told Michael as we boarded the train. "My parents have done so much for you."

Michael didn't answer me. He just pushed his way past me and began making his way through the corridors. He peered in each compartment as we went. His attitude had been horrible that day. The moment we picked him up he gave my father, Brenda and me all attitude. When I elbowed him to stop, he just glared at me and then stared out the window the rest of the way. Second year was definitely starting off to a rough start. I hoped the girls weren't in bad moods.

We could hear their voices as we approached one of the compartments.

"He's cute. I don't mind him hanging around us," Ashley was saying as we entered the compartment. Ashley was sitting on one side and Ellen on the other. I wondered who she was talking about and I was about to ask, but Michael spoke up before I could.

"Who?" He demanded.

Ashley and Ellen looked up from their conversation in surprise. I smiled at them but Michael looked upset. We put our trunks away and instantly Michael took a seat as close as possible to Ellen. She didn't look too happy about this. I took a seat beside Ashley wondering how this train trip was going to go. Was he going to make her uncomfortable the entire way there?

"Timmy, he's such a sweet little kid," Ashley told Michael who was still staring at Ellen.

"Speaking of kids, we're only a year older but some of the first years look so small," Michael said looking relieved. "We were just there last year, but some are runts."

"Probably to you," Ashley said smiling at Michael. "You're so tall."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Michael asked with annoyance.

I glanced over at him with amazement. How could he take offense to that? I smiled at him but I felt annoyed.

"I think she means you're tall. Calm down mate," I looked over at Ashley who looked hurt. "He's been snippy ever since we picked him up." I hoped that would be a reasonable explanation so that she wouldn't take what he to heart. It didn't change her expression of hurt though. She wasn't very good at hiding her emotions.

"My parents were being ridiculous today," Michael said as if it was good enough reason to give everyone attitude. "They complained that they barely saw me all summer. I told them I wasn't coming home for Christmas or Easter unless they get jobs and keep the house clean. My dad basically told me if I didn't like it then I could stay at Hogwarts for the summer vacation as well. Mum got really upset. They've told me that this is life and to get used to it. And they wanted some of the money I earned doing all of those odd jobs all summer. I gave some to mum, but not him."

"Look mate, we all know it's rough for you," I told him hoping he'd listen to me this time. He and Ellen really needed to understand that they couldn't take their issues out on us. I hoped she was listening as well. "But that doesn't mean you should take it out on us. Ashley made a harmless comment, and you got angry. Brenda made a harmless comment, and you got angry. You also snapped at my father, who by the way gave you a ride here today. Get angry with your parents, not us."

Again Michael didn't respond to me. He just glared at Ellen instead as if it were her fault. She was looking down at her nails which had been painted Hufflepuff themed by Rachel. Ashley had matching nails, and so did Jaime. While Michael and I had played Ashley's Nintendo, the girls had gotten their nails done. I didn't understand the fuss about nails, but even I had to admit that they looked kind of neat. Rachel was an artist. She had helped decorate Ashley's room and it looked amazing. It looked better than mine did. I thought it looked a lot better than it had before when she'd had muggle boy band posters on her wall.

I glanced over at her; she was staring out the window in a moody silence. I could tell she was hurting by Michael's comment. Speak up for yourself. Tell him off already. I thought but all she did was turn to glare at him before looking out the window again. It was very awkward in our compartment and at that moment I wished I was anywhere else but there.

I thought back to the year before when we were all strangers. I'd met Ellen, Tara and Devon. The train ride back then had been tense as well because of Tara. It was funny how Ellen and I had met on the train and Michael and Ashley had. Ellen and I had started off with a rough start. Ashley had leaned against me before our sorting out of nerves and ironically my father had helped Michael put his trunk on the train. Michael and Ashley hadn't liked each other because he'd been making fun of her.

A year later, Ellen and I weren't getting along again. Michael and Ashley didn't like each other too much at the moment and Ashley and I were close. Who have predicted all of this could have happened in a year. I pondered our friendships for the first part of our train ride. No one else really spoke. It was a relief when Stan, Hank and Jared entered our compartment to see how our summers had gone. By that point, Michael Ellen and I were talking about the Tri-Wizard tournament. For the most part though, I kept checking on Ashley who didn't seem to want to say anything. She was no longer looking out the window. She seemed to be listening to the conversation but she kept quiet.

"So, do any of you have any ideas on who might enter?" Hank asked sitting beside me. "It will be only people seventeen and older again I hear."

Stan sat beside Hank, and Jared took a seat beside Michael. The two boys began whispering to each other right away. I saw Ashley send a glare at Jared.

"What about Brenda?" Ellen asked me.

I shook my head. She's already told us that there was no way she was entering. Barry thought she was crazy for not wanting to enter. It was something they had argued about quite a few times since we'd heard the news.

"No, she doesn't want anything to interfere with her duties with being Head Girl," I told her. "Who do you think from Hufflepuff?"

"Well there's that Hailey girl, you know the really pretty one," Stan answered. "I expect all of them will try though. I do hope we have a Hufflepuff again. After what happened to Cedric it would be nice to have another champion in our name. He or she could do it for him."

Michael and Jared got up from their seats and left without a word to any of us. Obviously our conversation wasn't interesting enough for them. I wasn't sure but I thought I'd heard Ellen's name brought up. I believed they had left to go talk about her, and perhaps even Ashley. Michael had sent a nod in her direction before they had left. Hank and Stan watched them go but Stan just looked at Hank and shrugged.

Hank seemed to take their absence as an excuse to sit closer to Ellen. He got up instantly and sat closer to her. A small smile appeared on her face, and I knew right away that I had been right. It was Hank she wanted. I hoped something would happen between them. Not only so Michael would get the hint, but I figured having a boyfriend might cheer the girl up. When Ellen was happy she was a lot more fun to be around and she would lose her attitude towards me. If all that happened, maybe we could avoid a fight.

"Well I think it will be interesting anyway," Hank said. "I don't know if I'd want to join after all the mad stuff that went on during the last one. I'm surprised Hogwarts is even doing one again."

"Why isn't it at another school?" Ellen asked.

"Since the first one at Hogwarts went to hell the last time they want to try it again," I answered her. "Next time it will be at Beauxbatons, when we're in our seventh year."

I was distracted a moment later when Ashley got up and left. Just like Michael and Jared she didn't say a word. I had a feeling it wasn't a bathroom trip either. She had been so quiet and I knew it was because she was still upset by Michael's rudeness. Had she gone after them to listen in on their conversation maybe? I tuned out the rest of the conversation as I stared at the door although I thought I heard Hank say my last name. He nudged my foot and I glanced over at him.

"I'm sure your girlfriend will be back," he told me.

"Has Michael been talking about her more behind her back?" I asked ignoring his girlfriend comment. I didn't want to think about that, and for different reasons then last year. No one needed to know about what I had thought about over the summer.

"They don't as much anymore," Stan said. "We told him off when he started in on her, but I know the two of them go off in secret to do it. That's probably what they're doing right now."

"But why?" Ellen asked before I could. "It isn't much of a conversation if they're always insulting her behind her back. Doesn't it get boring after a while?"

She had basically said what I was thinking. How could they spend all their time talking about the same person behind their back?

"Jared doesn't like her at all," Hank said. "He doesn't trust her. He's one of my best mates, but I get tired of it. He's so overly suspicious of her because he thinks that her being a shy quiet girl is all an act."

That was probably one of the dumbest things I had ever heard. No one could act that well. The three boys didn't hang out with her as much as we did, but they could all see what she like! Everyone in our year knew that she was a shy and quiet girl. Even Tara who also hated her knew she was just a shy and quiet girl.

"An act?" I asked. "How can it possibly be an act? I know he doesn't hang out with her as much as we do, but how can he think someone can act that well?"

"Even if she was pretending, what does he think she is going to do?" Ellen asked angrily. She looked as upset as I felt. "That's just ridiculous. It took us months to break her out of her shell, and Michael knows that. You can't tell me that Michael is actually buying that. He's the one who made fun of her for being shy."

"That boy will believe anything at the moment because of you," Stan answered her. "Jared thinks that Ashley is the reason why you don't seem to be interested in Michael. He thinks that she is turning you against him."

"Why would she do that though?" I asked.

I honestly couldn't see the logic behind that one. Jared certainly did have his problems. It was fine to dislike someone, but where was the paranoia coming from? How could he honestly believe that she was just being shy and quiet to turn people against one another? If anything, she would help Ellen and Michael get together even if she didn't think they should get together. All she would want is for them to be happy. She was already trying to think of girls who would go for Michael instead.

"They haven't exactly been getting on lately have they?" Hank asked. "It's also payback for all the times he's talked about her behind her back, or even made fun of her."

"Well none of it is true," Ellen said. "She was even trying to convince me to give him a chance. No offense, but you are friends with a maniac. He's too suspicious."

Perhaps Ellen and I were closer than I had previously thought given she and I were basically thinking the same thing.

"Jared can be a prat, but he does have reasons for his trust issues," Hank said to Ellen. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but he does. Some of his family was betrayed to You-Know-Who."

"A lot of people's families were betrayed," I said. That wasn't even close to being a good enough excuse.

"Well you know the saying: "It's the quiet ones you have to worry about," Stan said with a shrug.

"But she isn't like that," Ellen said furiously.

"We know that," Hank said in a kind voice to Ellen. "We don't believe that. We know she is just a nice shy quiet girl. She's a bit too nice to be honest. She shouldn't be friends with Michael, and I was surprised when she forgave Ben, but Denver is a total mystery."

"And we know she is in love with him," Stan said. "The boy used to hex her but she wants him. You do have to admit that is odd."

In a way I did agree with Stan. The two of them did get along really well now, but it was odd that she wanted to be with someone who had once covered her boils and who had hexed every chance he got. He'd made her life miserable and I did trust him now, he'd admitted more than once that he had been an idiot. I just didn't get how she could end up wanting him. Although I believed he actually wanted her as well.

"You can't help how you feel sometimes, and he has changed. They've both apologized to each other. It's their business. Besides, I think he secretly wants her as well," Ellen answered with a shrug.

"They'd better both knock it off," I said meaning Michael and Jared again. "I'm going to have a talk with Michael again but I'm going to with Jared as well. I'm so damn sick of his attitude towards my parents and me too. This has to stop, and it needs to stop now."

"What has to stop?"

I glanced up to see that Michael was back, but he obviously hadn't heard the conversation because he had a huge grin on his face. I glared back at him though. I still wasn't too happy with him. He had been rude to my father and sister, and then to my best friend. Chances are he had just been off talking about her, and she was gone somewhere. Michael's smile faltered and I decided right there and then it wasn't the moment, so I put on a fake smile.

"Ellen is complaining about her homework again," I lied and I winked at Ellen who gave me a weak smile back.

"Ben you need to mind your own business," Michael said and then he glared at Hank who was sitting very closely next to Ellen.

"It's just the usual banter, isn't it Ellen?" I said and shrugged as if it weren't a big deal.

"It wouldn't be the same without it," Ellen replied quickly and Michael raised his eyebrows as if he saw through this. He knew she hated it when I brought it up. She'd said the wrong thing, but part of me was glad that he knew we were lying. Perhaps now we could get everything out in the open. It didn't make sense for me to be pissed at Ashley for not speaking up to Michael when I wouldn't either.

"Right," Michael said. "So what were you really talking about? What's the big secret here?"

Hank and Stan exchanged looks and then Hank looked at Michael and said: "Is Jared back in our compartment?"

"Yes," Michael said in a cool voice. He glared at me and folded his arms and sat down beside Hank.

Stan and Hank got up quickly and left. They obviously didn't want to be around for this, but I did hope that they would tell their own friend off. If they were as tired of it as we were then they should speak up as well.

"So what's the big secret? Why are you two lying about what you're really talking about? We're you talking about me? It's not nice to talk about your friends behind their backs," Michael demanded after they left.

"Because you never do that to Ashley?" Ellen asked. "You weren't just off with Jared talking about her?"

"No I wasn't. I have better things to do than to talk about that bitch," Michael snapped.

"Hey!" Anger went through me and without thinking about it I leapt out of seat and pulled my wand out of my pocket and pointed it at my friend. It was the first time I had ever considered hexing a friend, but at that moment I wanted to hit him with the boil curse. I knew if I did hex him that there would be no return to what our friendship had been before. I think that thought was what had stopped me from actually going through with it. As angry as I was with him, I didn't want to permanently ruin our friendship either.

"Calm down," Michael taken aback and even a little nervous. "You'd actually hex me over that? Look, I shouldn't have called her a bitch but I just can't stand that girl lately. I wasn't talking about her though. Jared wanted to know more about my summer. I do have other friends besides the two of you."

I noticed instantly that he wasn't even bothering counting her as a friend anymore. She was the one who had brought him into our group and he was ready to break their friendship. If he did, it was the end of ours too. She would always come first before him, and so would Ellen. I lowered my wand and stashed it back in my pocket before I sat down again.

"You honestly don't see her as your friend?" Ellen asked. "She invited you to her place during the summer!"

I wanted to add that she'd also added him into our group as well but Michael spoke up before I could.

"She's my friend, but lately I haven't wanted to be around her," Michael answered without too much emotion.

"I'm sure she feels the same way about you," I told him.

"Why? Has she been complaining about me to you behind my back? If she has, you can't get angry with me for doing it to her," Michael said and he looked at Ellen who folded her arms defiantly and glared back at him.

"We're talking about you snapping at her," Ellen said slowly. "She makes one innocent comment, and you bite her head off. She's been gone ever since you left."

"She takes things too seriously," Michael said. "I was feeling annoyed earlier. It was nothing personal. She needs to stop being so sensitive all the time. Don't you two get sick of her whining all the time? I know you do, there is no point in denying it. If she's off all upset just because I snapped at her then she has problems."

He did have a point about her whining, but this wasn't the time to talk about it. Someone whining was nothing compared to his attitude.

"She probably just ran into a friend," Ellen said. "Maybe she went to the bathroom."

"Maybe," I said but I didn't believe it. She wouldn't have taken that long if she'd gone off to the bathroom. I had a feeling she was sitting alone somewhere upset, and it bothered me. She knew we were on her side. It didn't make sense for her to ditch us.

"She has no friends besides us," Michael muttered under his breath.

I decided not to say anything to this, although part of it was true. She didn't really have too many friends outside of Hufflepuff. Although perhaps she had run into the people she was friendly with. She did talk to the Andrew twins often enough, and there was also Denver, Morgan and Claire. She might have even run into Melanie and Sarah. I was hoping that she was off talking to someone instead of being off upset somewhere.

Ellen brought up classes surprisingly and discussed what she thought second year would be like. After we discussed school we brought up our fellow Hufflepuff's and wondered how their summers had gone. Michael told us about Jared's summer and how the two of them had kept up regular contact.

"Where is she?" Ellen asked after we'd changed into our school robes. "Who could she have run into?"

"She's probably still upset!" I said angrily to Michael. "You need to lay off on her."

Michael just rolled his eyes and looked at me indifferently.

"She needs to stop being so sensitive. She whines about everything. I don't give a damn that she isn't here because she'd probably be crying about how beautiful her sister is."

"Michael-" I was about to tell him that he was just as bad when he complained about his parents and that he was even worse because he took his problems out on us. At least with Ashley she just complained. She never snapped at us.

At that moment though, she appeared in the doorway of the compartment.

"Where were you?" Ellen demanded.

Ashley looked surprised by her anger and glanced at me.

"I bumped into Denver, Morgan and Claire. We were catching up and I lost track of time," she answered.

She quickly changed into her school robes and then smiled at both Ellen and me. She ignored Michael completely who was staring at her with annoyance on his face.

"Ooh," Ellen said. "Well no wonder you stayed away. We were just wondering where you'd gotten to."

"We thought maybe you were still angry with Michael," I said and I glared at Michael who narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at her.

In the most emotionless voice he seemed to be able to muster he said: "And all I said was you took things too seriously."

Ashley stared back at him just as emotionless.

"I really wasn't offended; I knew you didn't mean anything by it. I guess I should have told you where I went," she told him and then smiled at Ellen and me again.

I smiled back at her.

"Well if it was for Denver, we understand," I said teasingly.

I didn't know if I fully believed her. I believed she had been with him, but I wasn't sure if I believed that she wasn't offended. There was no point in pressing the matter now though. Things were already tense, so I figured it was best just to joke around with her. Another part of me felt jealous that she'd been with him instead of me, but I ignored it. She smiled back but this time it was fake. She glanced over at Ellen and I wondered what was wrong.

"I promise I didn't say anything until just now, and it slipped out. They already knew. I haven't told them a word about what we discussed. I swear I wouldn't do that, it's just as you can see by Tara's comment at the joke shop, everyone has guessed it," Ellen said quickly looking very worried.

I understood completely now. She'd confessed to Ellen about her crush on Denver, and she was worried that Ellen had told us. I guessed she didn't realize that everyone knew that she wanted him. Even people who barely knew her knew how she felt about him.

"She didn't tell us, we already knew," I said sticking up for Ellen.

Michael ignored all this and glared at Ellen.

"What did you two discuss?" He demanded.

Ellen didn't answer him; she just looked at me with relief. I smiled at her reassuringly. Ashley looked from Ellen to me before sitting back in the seat and smiling.

"I believe you, I guess I was kind of obvious," she admitted. That's an understatement I thought to myself. Ashley looked over at me now with a serious expression on her face. "By the way, we forgot to tell you. We saw Tara looking at love potions at the joke shop. I just remembered now when Ellen brought it up. You want to be careful."

That didn't sit too well with me. Barry had told me that I was going to always have girls who wanted me. He'd also told me about how Ron Weasley had been fed a love potion and then he was almost poisoned to death. It was unsettling to know that there were girls who were so obsessed that they would give someone a love potion. I knew Tara liked me. It was obvious from the day we met. I had never thought that she would resort to that though. I had to get it through her head that we would never end up together.

"That girl is trouble," I finally said. "I've already told her we'll never be anything more than study partners. I don't understand why you didn't tell me about Denver though. I already knew, but I thought we were friends. I told you about Melanie."

That was something that bothered me about her. She didn't seem as if she thought she could fully trust us. Perhaps it was because of Michael's behaviour towards us, or maybe it was because of the way I used to treat her. Either way, I didn't feel as if she thought she could come to me about things. I had started to talk to her more about things, and I felt closer to her then the others. I didn't think she felt the same way about me though.

"It's just a bit embarrassing. You know how Denver and I started our friendship. I mean, he hated me at first. I don't even know when I started liking him," Ashley answered. "Just don't tell other people, even if they have guessed."

"You know I wouldn't," I said feeling even more hurt than before. Why would she feel that she had to even say that?

"What did you two discuss?" Michael demanded. He apparently had been ignoring all this.

"Girl talk!" Ellen snapped at him.

"I bet it was more than that," Michael said angrily and he glared over at Ashley who glared back at him.

"All we talked about was her and Denver. She didn't want me to tell you, so I didn't. Stop acting so suspicious, I don't talk about my friends behind their backs," Ellen told him.

At that moment, all I wanted to do was get out of that compartment and into the castle. I didn't want to be around any of them at that moment, not even Ashley. She didn't feel the same way I did. Ellen and Michael just made me angry. I couldn't wait until I had other people to talk to. I would have to find Melanie as soon as possible and see how she felt. Once I had homework, more people to talk to and possibly a girlfriend maybe things would stop being tense and stressful with all of us.

Second year definitely was off to a rough start. I didn't want to admit it to my friends but I was glad that the school work was harder than the year before. All three of them were complaining about how much harder it was by the first day, but I welcomed the distraction. Between the tension with my friends and the unwelcome thoughts about Ashley, I needed it.

Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to talk to Melanie I didn't get much of a chance. I thought I could see her staring at me a lot, but the girl seemed to have developed a case of shyness over the summer. As soon as I looked back at her, she would look away. She seemed as if she wanted to avoid me, and that was the opposite of Melanie. She was usually a lot more confident than that. It was one of the things I liked about her. Part of me wondered if I had it mistaken and she knew how I felt, but she wasn't interested.

I wanted to talk to Ashley about this, but she suddenly seemed distant. She sat with us in classes but she stopped talking. The only time she would say anything was to agree with Ellen about the homework, or to talk about the tournament. Otherwise she didn't say much, and then she started to ditch us which made me even more angry. It was Michael she was upset with, not me, and not Ellen. So why did she have to treat us that way? I was still upset with Ellen, but I didn't think she deserved that.

On the morning of her thirteenth birthday, I was so angry and sick of her ditching us that I was about ready to tell her off as well. I'd actually found myself preferring the company of Keith and Dan because all three of my friends were different people lately. Keith and Dan were two quiet boys who were hard workers. Out of all the boys in my dorms, I could get along with them the best.

"Do we really have to do this?" Michael asked me as we left the boys dorms.

"It's our friend's birthday. We had a party for you last year, remember?"

"Ellen had the party for me, not Ashley," Michael answered.

"She helped a lot though," I said. "You don't have to show up. It's your choice mate. Maybe it would be better if you don't."

I didn't realize just how right my words would be later on that day. Michael didn't say anything. We met up with Ellen in the Common Room who informed us that Ashley wasn't in the dorms. Since it was a Sunday we usually all got up at different times, and we usually did our own thing. I wasn't too worried about it, but the same time I figured she had to know that we would be planning to do something with her. The year before we hadn't been friends with her for very long and we'd gotten her a cake. After a year of friendship she had to have known we'd have plans to spend the day with her.

She wasn't in the Great Hall either though. By this point I was feeling annoyed. If she wasn't having breakfast and she wasn't still in the Hufflepuff dorms, then where else would she be? She couldn't be ditching us on the one day she knew we'd want to spend with her. Even if she didn't want to be around Michael for her birthday, she should have wanted to be around Ellen and me. Just like with Ellen and Michael, I was going to have to say something to her about this eventually.

"We'll just wait for her a bit in the Common Room," I said. "Maybe she woke up early and went down to the lake. You know she likes it down there."

"Should we go out there?" Ellen asked me.

"No, we'll wait for her in the Common Room. There is no point in going on a wild good chase," I said.

We went into the Common Room and sat down at our usual table. Michael was drumming his fingers on the table impatiently.

"Looks like she is abandoning us again," Michael said. "I have better things I could be doing right now."

Then why don't you? I thought to myself. He clearly didn't give a damn, so why didn't he just go off and do his own thing? None of us would miss him too much. About two minutes after his comment, Ashley walked into the Common Room with a big grin on her face. As soon as she spotted us, she rushed over.

"There you are. Where have you been?" Ellen demanded.

"With Denver," she said as she sat down. "You haven't been waiting too long, have you?"

"Not really," I told her, which was true. I did feel kind of irritated that she'd been off with Denver right away. "We just finished breakfast. Anyway, happy birthday."

I handed her my gift first. Brianne had helped me pick it out. It was hard to know what to buy for teenage girls. With Michael, I could buy him anything I wanted, even candy and he would be happy. It was a different matter altogether with girls. I'd always had problems getting gifts for my sisters and usually my mother ended up buying it for me, but she would put my name on it.

With Ashley and Ellen it was different. I'd bought Ellen Wonder Witch products for her birthday since she was always talking about it. Ashley never brought up that stuff though, and part of me thought she'd get offended if I bought her makeup. Brianne had asked me what she was interested in, and I'd remembered how obsessed she was with accessorizing with Hufflepuff stuff. So I'd told Brianne about that, and she suggested some kind of jewelry. We'd spotted a beautiful (and a little expensive but worth it) necklace with the Hufflepuff badger on it. I knew I had to buy it right away.

"Brianne helped me pick it out. I know you've been trying to get as many Hufflepuff themed things as you can, and Brianne found that. She said a necklace was thoughtful for a thirteen year old girl, because, well I had no idea to be honest," I admitted.

"No it's brilliant, thank you," Ashley said and she got up to hug me. I felt butterflies in my stomach but I tried to ignore it.

Although Ellen and I hadn't written to each other too much over the summer, I had told her what I'd bought for Ashley as a gift. Apparently she thought it was such a good idea that she'd bought a bracelet and matching earrings to go with it. I found it amusing that she'd decided to get almost the same thing, but it was actually very thoughtful as well. Ellen and I grinned at each other with mutual respect which was a rarity for us lately.

"Mine isn't jewellery or make up," Michael told her.

I couldn't help but wonder what he had bought for her. He hadn't told us, and I knew he really didn't want anything to do with her birthday. I was surprised he'd gone out of his way to get her something.

"It's fine," Ashley told him. "It's the thought that counts."

But she opened his gift to find a variety of skiving snackboxes and I was instantly angry. In the summer when we'd gone to the joke shop, I'd gotten into it with my friends about buying them. I thought it dumb for anyone to use them. The products had been out for a while; the teachers were going to know why kids were going off sick. That wasn't the only reason though. I just didn't see the point in skipping classes. Ashley agreed with me, and she'd told us that she would never use them. I found that Michael buying her a gift (which I believed that he'd bought for himself originally, but then gift wrapped for her at the last moment) that she couldn't use was worse than him just avoiding her birthday altogether.

I felt even more furious as she got up and hugged him for it. I could see the disappointment in her face, and I knew she wasn't impressed. By that point I had it. I was so sick and tired of her and the rest of them, and even though it was her birthday, I was going to say something once and for all. I was not going to hold back anymore.

"Skiving snackboxes? Is that all you got for her?" I demanded.

"Of course I knew a goody-two shoes wouldn't like it," Michael retorted. "I can't afford jewellery, and I wouldn't buy jewellery for her anyway. Don't guys only do that for girls they like? I thought you wanted Melanie. How would she feel if she knew?"

Of all the things he could say, he had to bring up Melanie? I'd barely spoken to her since the term began.

"Nothing is going on between Melanie and me. I don't know if things ever will. So I doubt she cares, but even if something was, I doubt she'd care because it's for my best friend. But at any rate, it's not just because I disagree with you or Ellen taking those. It's because she never wanted them. You just bought her something she will never use. And just because I don't want to use those stupid things, doesn't mean that I am a goody-two shoe," I told him.

"Oh and just because we want to use those, it means we're stupid?" Ellen retorted.

"Yes, I am sorry but it does," I snapped. "And I just don't think they should be bought for someone who will never use them."

"No, it's fine;" Ashley said quickly, "let's not fight."

Lately when we'd been about to get into a fight, she usually stepped in and stopped it from going too far. This time I wasn't going to let it happen. There was just too much tension in our group at the moment, and the longer we avoided it, the worse it would be.

"Oh speak up for a change," I told her and she looked at me with shock. "Stop being so damn passive aggressive all the time. You don't want those, and you know it! Michael has been a git to you lately and you don't say anything. You had no problem telling me off when I did it. Why can't you tell him? It's why you've been avoiding us lately isn't it? Tell him what you think for a change. You think he is a prat!"

Michael glared at her.

"Well? You think I am a prat do you? Do you go around talking behind my back with Denver; did you turn Ellen against me? I know you spied on me on the train with him. Tara saw you, and told me," Michael asked her.

I wasn't honestly too surprised to find out that she'd followed him. I'd thought there had been a reason why she'd left for so long. I hadn't fully believed her when she'd said she'd just bumped into Denver. Her reason had been to spy on Michael and Jared, but she'd bumped into Denver and they'd listened together. Obviously she'd heard something that had upset her, and so she'd stayed away for the remainder of the trip.

I didn't think she would say something, but she looked him directly in the eye and glared back.

"Yes Michael, I do think you are a prat. No, I think you are a bloody asshole if you must know. All you've done is treat me like dirt for the last few months, and for no reason. I know you laugh behind my back about how ugly I am. Yes I did go listen to you and Jared on the train, but it was because I knew you were talking about me behind my back again. I wanted to know exactly what it was you were saying about me. I also think you gift is thoughtless and terrible. I think anyone who would use those things are morons, especially someone who claims he wants to do well in school. Not only that, but everyone knows about your pathetic crush on Ellen. Neither Ben nor I had to tell her. She knew, and she doesn't want you, but you can't take the hint. You just keep staring at her, and you keep making her uncomfortable! Get a clue! She does not want you."

"It's hard to want to be around an ugly, whiny person like you!" Michael retorted back. "All you've ever done is bitch and moan about how hard your life is, but it really isn't! You're not that poor. And you don't even appreciate what your mum or sister does for you. You act like you are this nice person but you're not. Jared was right about you. It was you who turned Ellen against me because you're jealous because she's beautiful and you're not. You'll never get a boyfriend I bet. You think I have a pathetic crush, well what about you and Denver? He'll never go for you because it doesn't matter how much you change your eyebrows, or how much makeup you wear, you'll always be an ugly bitch!"

I was about ready to shout at Michael now but Ellen yelled at him before I could.

"She did not turn me against you!" Ellen shouted. "I will never ever be interested in you Michael. I do not see you that way. She's right. You do make me uncomfortable and I am so tired of you staring at me all the time. I want Hank, not you! So get over it, and find some other girl, because guess what? I think you are a pathetic insecure boy and I don't want anything to do with the problems you bring to our group!"

"So why did you lead me on?" Michael asked as he stared at Ellen with hurt in his eyes. "You acted like you wanted me by throwing that party for me on my birthday, and everything else."

For the first time in a long time I felt pity for the boy. Here everything was coming out and as angry as I was with him, I knew how it felt to find out the girl you wanted didn't like you. It had hurt a lot when I'd found out that Jaime actually disliked me when I'd wanted her.

"I was being your friend!" Ellen exclaimed. "That's what we do, we help each other out, but lately you haven't been a very good friend to any of us!"

"Really, that's what you all think?" Michael asked as he looked from Ellen to me, but ignoring Ashley. "You don't want to be my friend?"

"We do, but not with the person you have been lately," I told him. "Look what has happened now. It's one of our best friend's birthday and you've ruined it."

"You were the one who started attacking me first; it's all of you who are yelling at me!" Michael said defensively. Of course I knew he wouldn't take responsibility. He never did.

"Because you've been a prat!" Ashley shouted at him "And take your stupid gift, I don't want it. Only someone who is a complete idiot would take those things when the teachers know about them. And for your information, Denver is my boyfriend! So I guess my crush isn't pathetic, now is it!"

"Fine, if that's the way all of you feel about me, then I am done! I knew all of you were talking about me behind my back," Michael said angrily. He grabbed the snackboxes and shoved them into his bag as he glared at Ashley, "and I bet you were the one behind it all! You wanted to turn everyone against me. You're still angry about last year, and I bet that's why you didn't tell Harry Potter about me."

He got up and left the table leaving the rest of us feeling angry. I was about to tell Ashley that if she'd just spoken up in the first place, none of this would have happened. It was because she'd been ditching us all week that it had happened. If she'd just told Michael how she had originally felt in the first place, we likely wouldn't be in this situation. Ellen however started yelling at her first.

"So only morons or complete idiots use those things?" She asked Ashley with anger. "I guess I fall under that category since I bought some this summer as well."

"Well it's true," I told Ellen forgetting Ashley for a moment. Now was the time to finally speak up instead of holding back like I'd wanted to since the summer. I hadn't said anything against my better judgment though. "I don't get why you want to use those things. The teachers will know what's going on Ellen. Just because you're upset with your parents doesn't mean you should purposely make yourself fail. You should have realized that getting good grades wouldn't stop them from fighting."

"It's your fault I thought that!" Ellen shouted back.

"No it isn't!" I yelled. "I didn't tell you to do homework because it would help your parents. It's so you could pass. It's the reason you're at Hogwarts you know. Don't blame me for your stupidity, Ellen. None of what happened is my fault."

"Well I don't care, I am sick of your nagging. You're constantly telling me to do homework, but it's none of your business if I do or not. I don't care if either of you think I am stupid for using them. I am going to do it anyway!" She said sounding like a little girl, which meant she was obviously extremely upset. Ellen always sounded very immature when she was upset.

She got up and left the common room. I turned to Ashley who looked back at me with shock. She had to know how I'd been feeling the past week about her. I was so tired of it all. She was my closest friend and she hadn't treated me or Ellen well at all. We were the ones who had been there for her the most; we were the ones who had stuck up for her. I had almost hexed Michael for her, and yet she just ignored us as if we were part of it. It was always about Denver lately.

"Are you happy now?" I demanded.

"I didn't do anything," she said and I shook my head not believing she didn't get it at all. "I was willing to accept his gift, but you're the one who spoke up about it. The fight wouldn't have happened."

"It would have eventually because you refuse to speak your mind. Instead, you avoid all of us, and you caused all of this by not speaking up. Grow up and stop being passive aggressive all the time. It's the reason people see you as weak and they walk all over you. You complain about everything, but most of the time you don't do anything about it. And it's because of that, that we were fighting!" I told her.

"I refuse to take full blame for all of this," Ashley said, and she was now on the verge of tears. "It took all four of us, and I didn't do anything wrong. It was you and Michael who started all of this. You could have spoken up at any time about Michael or Ellen, but you didn't. You have no reason to be angry with me. I wasn't always avoiding you. I was hanging out with Denver-"

"Oh right, the precious Denver. I guess he's more important now then people who have been friends with you longer," I said. More important to you then me I added in my mind. I didn't say it to her though. I got up and headed out of the common room.

As I headed down the corridors to go outside I thought about Denver angrily and for some reason I wanted to punch him out. Hadn't Ashley said something to Michael that she was dating him? Was that the reason she had been spending so much time with him? Why hadn't she told us then? It must have just been a recent thing I told myself. I knew she didn't tell us everything, but she would have told us if she and Denver were together.

I headed out of the castle and out to the lake. I wondered where Michael and Ellen had taken off too. The four of us had never been so angry with each other before. The last time our friendship had been on the rocks was New Years Eve when I'd insulted Ashley. This time was twice as worse though. All four of us were fighting that time, and I didn't even think I wanted to talk to Ellen or Michael again. In time I was sure I would talk to Ashley because as annoyed as I was with her, I didn't want our friendship to be over though. I couldn't imagine not having her in my life now. At the moment I needed a break from her.

I hoped that in the time we didn't talk, I wouldn't have the odd thoughts about her anymore. Part of me wondered if those thoughts were the reason for why I was so angry with her at the moment. As soon as I reached the lake I sat down and wrapped my arms around my legs. I tried to direct my thoughts to Melanie but it wasn't easy. I kept going back to the fight.

I walked back to the castle about an hour later. I was still so deep in thought that I didn't hear anyone coming up behind me. I was shocked when I felt someone slip their hand in mine and for a moment I thought it was Ashley. I was going to turn and give her a hug and apologize for causing the fight on her birthday, but I was surprised to see Melanie grinning at me.

"Melanie!" I said in surprise but I smiled at her.

"I heard about your fight with your friends," she told me. "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"Thanks," I said.

I hadn't realized that people had been in the common room. I figured by that point that it would be all over the school.

"Maybe I'm taking advantage," Melanie continued. "But Joey told me that Michael said you liked me. So I came to look for you. I like you too, I have since last year, but I didn't think you'd be interested back. You seem like the type of boy who would tell a girl if you liked her."

"I've wanted to," I admitted to her. "I guess I should have told you."

Barry had told me I should make a move on the girls I like, but after the experience with Jaime I was a bit nervous. It was different with Melanie because I would see her all the time in the common room and in classes. After what had just happened with Ellen and Michael who I was sure would never have the same friendship again, I didn't have the confidence that Barry said I should have.

"So what exactly happened if you don't mind me asking?" Melanie asked.

I told her everything that had been happening since the end of last term to today. It was the first time I could really vent to anyone about my anger with my friends, and it seemed I was a lot more hurt by Ashley then I originally had thought. Melanie kept quiet as I explained everything to her.

"Sounds to me like the four of you needed this fight," she said. "You've all been holding back for so long. It cleared the air. Although I hope you won't get angry with me for saying this but you're just as bad as Ashley. When did you ever tell Michael or Ellen off? You held back as well. It's why everything blew up."

"You have a point there, and I think I knew that all along," I said.

"Well maybe you just need a break from each other for a while," Melanie said. "You're all so close I'm sure things will work out in the end."

"Well let's just forget about that for now," I said. "Why don't you and I get to know each other better?"

Melanie smiled. "I'd really like that."

I smiled back. At least one good thing came out of our fight. I'd gotten in a huge fight, but I'd gotten the girl that I wanted. When you lose some, you gain some. I thought to myself. It was something Barry used to say all the time back in the day. Although when he said it he meant other girls, not his friends. I was sure Melanie was right though. We would make up, but in the meantime I could focus on her. I was sure she was going to be my girlfriend.

"Hey there stranger," someone said while I worked in the library one evening on my own.

Melanie and Sarah were supposed to meet me later but for the time being I was on my own. I wasn't sure what they had gone off to do, but after hanging out with two girls for a year I knew better than to question it. I didn't mind the alone time anyway. As much as I really liked Melanie, I did find her to be a distraction and for the first time in my Hogwarts history, I was a little behind. It was hard to find a happy medium between Melanie and my homework. I remembered Barry's advice to me though. He'd said that I had to have fun as well.

I looked up surprised to see Sam, my cousin grinning at me. I felt bad instantly. Before I'd started at Hogwarts, the two of us had been quite close. We'd drifted apart though. I hadn't written to him as much as I should have the year before, and we hadn't even spent time together over the summer. It was his first year and I should have been there for him. I'd been so focused on the drama with my friends that I hadn't paid as much attention to him as I should have. I'd watched his sorting of course but I hadn't talked to until that moment.

"Sam!" I said excitedly. "Sit down; tell me how it's going so far for you."

Sam pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. He pulled out some books, and set them down. I glanced over to see a familiar Charms essay. I was sure his homework would seem easy for me now. Everything we'd done in the first year had been so basic. All our teachers had informed us in our first classes that we were past the basics and they expected more from us.

"I like it a lot," he told me. "I'm still surprised you're not in Ravenclaw though. I've met some really nice people there though. I get along with everyone so far. Brenda won't get off my back though."

"That's one of the reasons why I'm glad I'm not in Ravenclaw," I told him. "I knew she would always be on my case. I've actually been able to distance myself from her. She's a lot better than she used to be though. She and I got into it during my Easter break last year."

"She told me I need to make friends with the right people," Sam said. "Some second year girl, Tara has been bugging me though. As soon as she found out that I had the last name Hoofer, she wanted to know if we were related. I told her we were cousins, and she has been bugging me since. She has a major crush on you."

"I know," I said. "My friend's caught her trying to buy a love potion over the summer. I have a girlfriend now though. She should be here soon."

"Where are your friends?" Sam asked. "You've talked about them a lot. From the way you talked it sounded as if you did everything together."

"We're fighting," I answered and I told him everything that had happened.

"So do you like that Ashley girl or something?" Sam asked.

"No of course not," I said quickly. "I have a girlfriend remember? I've liked her since last term and we got together after the big fight."

"It just sounds like you do but if you say so," Sam said with a shrug. "Anyway, I heard about your fight. I didn't know it was about you but everyone is talking about a big fight with second year Hufflepuff's. Apparently that Ashley girl duelled that Michael bloke and she took him out."

I frowned at him. "No she didn't. Ashley's my best friend, but she is terrible at duelling. Michael is one of the best in our year. If they duelled, he would win. That didn't even happen anyway. We just got in a shouting match. I feel bad about it now though-" and I told him about how much I missed her now. I felt awful that we'd started a fight on her birthday.

"You talk a lot about Ashley." A familiar voice said.

Melanie was looking at me with an annoyed expression on her face. She sat down beside me and put her books down on the table a little hard. Sarah sat down beside Sam who gave her an interested once over.

"This is Sam," I told Melanie and Sarah while wondering why Melanie was so annoyed. "Sam, this is Melanie my girlfriend and the girl beside you is Sarah."

"You're very pretty," Sam said to Sarah. "How do you feel about younger boys?"

Sam was always a confident one but it seemed odd to me to see him interested in girls already. He was eleven years old and at his age I hadn't really paid that much attention to girls. Of course I had noticed them, but it wasn't until I'd met Jaime that I had really started to get interested in girls. I had a feeling Sam was going to be very girl crazy, just like Jared was. Sarah glanced at him in surprise and he winked.

"You're cute," Sarah said with a smile. "But no I am sorry; I am interested in someone else. If you're related to Ben though, I am sure you'll meet a cute girl your own age."

"You've broken my heart," Sam said. "But you're right; there are more fish in the sea."

I stared at my little cousin. How could he be so confident? I'd always thought I had a good level of confidence but I would feel a little self-conscious if a girl turned me down. Sam seemed to take it with ease. He certainly was like Jared or even Barry when it came to girls. I wondered why I couldn't feel as confident as they did. I'd been so nervous about Jaime and Melanie. Everyone told me I was handsome and that girls liked me and yet I couldn't talk to them the way my brother or cousin could.

"You and Ben do look quite similar actually," Melanie said. "You're Ben with blond hair."

"I think I'm better looking," Sam answered.

"You've already got an ego," I said with a smile as I shook my head. "I don't think you'll have problems with girls at all."

"Same with you," Melanie said as she put a hand on my arm and gazed into my eyes. She was so beautiful. I didn't know how I managed to get so lucky. "I guess all the Hoofer men are good-looking though. And you have the best girlfriend."

I smiled back at her. "That I do," I said.

"Well he does hang out with two girls," Sam said. "You're one step ahead of me mate. My friends are blokes. You're lucky that you get to hang out with girls all the time."

"Yes he certainly does," Melanie muttered. "They aren't very good friends to him right now though."

"They'll come around later," I replied. "I was just telling Sam about our fight when you came in. I feel awful that we had the fight on Ashley's birthday."

"I'm sure she's over it," Melanie said. "She is with Denver a lot, you know, her boyfriend. They're dating now in case you hadn't noticed."

"I noticed," I answered her. "Anyway, Sam is one of my closest cousins. I don't really know the others too well. In a few years the others will be here but I don't really talk to them as much. They're all either too young or a lot older. Sam is the only one who is closest to my age."

"You've never brought him up before," Melanie said.

"Well we've only been together a few days," I said. "But you're meeting him now. You're meeting him before my friends. This is the first time I've even talked to him since we started school. I was just caught with all the drama with the fight and everything."

"Well at least I am getting something before your friends," Melanie replied. "And it's been nice meeting you Sam."

"Right, you as well." Sam said but he didn't sound as if he agreed. I was sure it was because he just didn't know her too well.

I wanted all my friends and family to approve of my new girlfriend. He was staring at Melanie with dislike though. I couldn't figure out why, she was a nice enough girl. We'd only been together a few days, but I was already happy with her. I was sure Sam just had to spend more time with us so that he could get to know her and my friends a lot better… well once we made up.

I spent most of my time either hanging out with Dan and Keith or with Melanie and Sarah. I missed Ashley though. Ashley didn't have many friends so I could see her sitting by herself most nights and I felt bad. She got along with most of the Hufflepuff's, but she wouldn't talk to Sarah and Melanie when I was with them. She couldn't hang out with Hank and Stan who had a lot of respect for her because of Ellen. She got along fine with Jess, Anne and Erica but Ellen also spent a lot of time with them if she wasn't with Hank. Outside of Hufflepuff she spent a lot of her time with Denver, Morgan and Claire. Other than that, she didn't really have friends except maybe the Andrew twins, but they were friends with everyone.

I thought about talking to her, but Melanie told me that I should give her space because she still looked upset. I wasn't even angry with Ashley anymore; I don't think I ever really was. I was just tired of her ditching us all the time. Why could she have a backbone when it came to me or Denver, but not with Michael? Although Melanie was also right that I wasn't exactly blameless in that category. I hadn't spoken up either to Ellen or Michael.

"You should be focusing on your try-outs," Melanie said. "I know you want to make the Quidditch team. You shouldn't be stressing about your friends. Why aren't you out there practicing?"

I knew she had a point there. I knew Ellen was out practicing every night to make the team even though she really didn't need to. So I asked Sam to go out and practice with me on some nights. He invited his two first year friends, Jonathan and Stuart to play with us. I kept to one side of the Quidditch pitch while Ellen, Hank and Stan stuck to the other.

"I don't think Melanie wants you talking to your friends," Sam told me one night as we walked back from the Quidditch pitch the day before try-outs. His friends had gone off ahead.

"Why wouldn't she want that?" I asked.

"Well I think it's just the girls she doesn't want you talking to," Sam said. "She seemed very possessive of you that night in the library."

"I don't think so," I said. "She's been there for me ever since the fight. I can tell you don't like her though."

"Look I'm not trying to bad mouth your girlfriend, but I just think she's the jealous type," Sam told me. "She got so upset whenever you brought up Ashley."

"She's not the jealous type Sam," I said a bit irritated. "What would you know anyway? You're eleven and you've never had a girlfriend before."

Sam laughed. "So being eleven makes me dumb? In case you forgot, this is your first girlfriend. You're not that much more experienced than I am. I might be young, but that doesn't mean anything. Look, I'm not trying to be a prat and I'm not trying to insult your girlfriend, I'm just telling you what I think. Maybe you're right and I am wrong, but I think you should be aware of it. I know how defensive you get about girls. You told me about Ashley's sister last year. I'm not trying to rub it in either; I'm just saying you do get defensive about the girls you like."

I stared at me little cousin, and I felt my anger leave. He did have a point about how I got defensive about girls.

"Okay I'll think about what you said, but I just don't think you're right," I told him. "Melanie isn't the jealous type. She likes Ashley and Ellen. She knows we've been friends for a year now."

"I don't know, I think you're going to have problems with girls," Sam said. "I think you'll always have girls get jealous, especially over Ellen. She's a beautiful girl. If you don't want her, you should introduce us."

"Ellen has a boyfriend," I told him. "She probably would be interested though if she were single."

"If not, you can always introduce me to Ashley. She's cute enough as well," Sam said.

"No," I said instantly. "You don't need to be with her. Besides, she is with Denver."

I figured for sure that Sam would be the picky type. I was surprised to hear him say he thought that Ashley was cute. There weren't too many boys who would say that about her. She had improved a lot of the last year though. I could see what he meant that she was cute, but I figured he'd go for the beautiful girls.

Sam smirked at me. "Whatever. You're an idiot, and someday you're going to realize it. I might be only eleven but I know more than you do."

"What's that supposed to mean," I asked.

We'd reached the castle by that point.

"I'll tell you why someday," Sam said. "For now, good luck with your trials tomorrow. I'll come watch if I can."

And with that, he walked off without saying another word. I stared after him before I headed inside.

Ellen and I made the team. Ren Summerby, the captain had us do our try-outs together and we blew everyone away. Even though we weren't speaking to each other, we both forgot about our differences and worked well together. By the end of it I felt good. Ellen looked at me in a hopeful way as if she were hoping we'd talk, but it wasn't her I wanted to talk to. She needed to apologize first. So I walked past her without a word.

The results were posted the next day and I was pleased to see that we had both made the team. The year before we had practiced together so much, I figured with the other Chaser that maybe we'd finally bring the Cup to Hufflepuff. It had been a long time since Hufflepuff had won it.

I wanted to celebrate it with my friends. Even though Melanie kept telling me I should leave Ashley and Ellen be, I didn't want to anymore. I'd rather they tell me to go away then to never talk to them again. She was a smart girl, but I just didn't think she was right about this one. There were times in the common room when I could see both Ashley and Ellen staring at me, and they looked sad. Michael often looked at me as well, but I still didn't want to talk to him. It was Ashley who I wanted to speak to first, and then Ellen.

One afternoon a week and a half after our fight, I saw her walking towards the lake on her own. Most of the time outside of the common room, she spent it with Denver. It wasn't often I could get her alone outside. I didn't want to talk to her in the common room because of Melanie. She seemed insistent that I didn't talk to my friend again. I decided then and there to confront her and then tell Melanie later that we'd made up.

Ashley walked over to the Hogwarts memorial and stared at it. I wondered if she was thinking the same thing as I was. Anytime I saw that memorial it made me realize just how small my problems were compared to how things used to be. Our fight was nothing compared to what Barry and my sisters had to go through. It was nothing compared to what Harry Potter and his friends had to go through.

"Makes our fight seem silly doesn't it?" I called out to get her attention.

She looked up at me and I saw relief on her face as she saw that it was me. She looked a little nervous as well though.

"It does," she finally said, "Although I still don't know why you or I are angry with each other."

"I don't either to be honest," I admitted, I had stopped feeling angry with her for a while, especially since Melanie had pointed out to me that I'd done the same as her. "I think I was just so angry with Michael and Ellen. I was kind of annoyed with you but I wasn't angry. I've just been tired of you taking it from Michael lately, especially since last year you would never take it from me. You confronted me about it a number of times. Yet with Michael you said nothing. When you just accepted that gift from him, I just couldn't take it anymore. I guess it's my fault for the fight though."

"I think it's all of our faults, but I think Michael is the main one to blame," she replied.

"Ellen was at fault as well," I said quickly, I did want to talk to Ellen again but she was almost as bad as Michael had been. She was not blameless in this. "I've been sick of her for a while too. I've wanted to tell her off for a while, and I think she probably felt the same way about me too. I wasn't angry enough with her to end our friendship though. I just wanted her to stop bringing up Jaime, and everything else she's been doing."

"Well you're right," Ashley said and she turned away from the memorial and headed to the lake. I followed quickly wanting to pull her into my arms, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea yet. "I should have said something to Michael a while ago. You're right about me being passive aggressive."

"We should have all said something to him a while ago," I said as we sat down and gazed out into the lake. It was a nice sight and kind of relaxing. I thought back to when we'd been at Ashley's. I remembered how relaxed we had been by the pond. "And I should have said something to Ellen as well. Maybe it's harder for people to stand up to friends sometimes."

"Denver told me I needed to tell Michael off as well," she told me, "he basically said what you told me."

"Since when are you and Denver dating anyway? How did that happen?" I asked her remembering that she'd told Michael that they were together. They had obviously gotten together before the fight, or else she was confident enough that they would be together. I couldn't see that though.

"It happened the morning of my birthday," she told me. "That's why I wasn't in the common room right away. I went to the owlery to send a letter to my mother and I bumped into him. He wanted to know why I kept taking it from Michael and when I couldn't give him a good answer, he told me off and then kissed me. So we spent the morning together before I went and met up with you three. I figured since it was Sunday you guys would sleep in. I wasn't trying to spend more time with Denver or anything."

I nodded to show her I understood.

"What about you and Melanie?" She asked happily. "I noticed the two of you have been hanging out a lot."

"She liked me too. Our fight in the common room was very public you know, so everyone in Hufflepuff, well I expect the whole school by now heard about it. It's the reason why Hank and Ellen hang out now. Hank and Stan are also fighting with Jared since he was the cause of it. Hank and Stan also don't want much to do with Michael," I explained. "Even my sisters heard about our fight. Of course a lot of people think it's funny. You know, a group of second years getting in a huge fight in the common room."

She smiled and nodded. "From what I heard, I duelled Michael and won, even though that's impossible. Michael is the best dueller in the second year."

I remembered Sam telling me about that one.

"I heard that one too. It's amazing how rumors get started around this place. Barry was certainly right about that," I said with a sigh. "But Melanie pointed out that maybe our fight was a good thing. It kind of cleared the air. Things haven't been good between any of us for a while. I'm ready to make up though. I figured since you and I weren't really angry with each other, I'd talk to you first."

Ashley stared out into the lake again. We were both quiet. I wondered what she was thinking. Clearly she was ready to make up with me since she hadn't left. Melanie had been wrong about that one. She'd been so sure that Ashley and Ellen wouldn't want to talk to me again. I wasn't sure about Ellen, but I thought about the look on her face after our try-outs. I was sure she wanted to make it up with me as well, and I was ready to as long as she apologized. Eventually we'd have to talk to Michael as well. It was up to Ashley though. If she didn't want to be friends with him anymore then I was on her side. I couldn't lose her friendship. She was my best friend.

"I'm all for talking to Ellen; I didn't mean to insult her. I was just so angry with Michael that I spoke without speaking. I honestly don't care who uses the snackboxes. I'll never use them but I don't judge others who do. I was just trying to hurt Michael but I ended up hurting the one person who has always supported me no matter what. But I just don't think I am ready to talk to Michael yet," she finally said.

"We should give him another chance though you know," I told her. "There has to be a reason for his change. He's always been insecure, but he's also been a good friend up until recently. It's the same with Ellen, at least for her and me. You and she have never had problems but she and I have always gotten along well enough until recently. I think it's the divorce."

"Of course it is, and I know she said and did things to you that she shouldn't have, but she was nowhere near as bad as Michael was to me. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have any friends. You can talk to him if you want, but until I get a sincere apology from him I am not talking to him. It's his move, not mine. I did absolutely nothing wrong, and I still think he's jealous about me meeting Harry Potter," Ashley told me but I wasn't surprised to hear that.

"I figured you'd say that. I'm on your side no matter what. I just want you to know that. If you want, we'll talk to Ellen since we're both in agreement about her. Maybe if Michael sees the three of us talking, he'll make a move. If not, that's his problem." I said as I looked out into the lake.

"Don't end your friendship on my account," she said quickly. "It's not right for you to lose one of your best friends because of me."

"Ashley, I'm closer to you than I am to Ellen or Michael," I finally admitted in a quiet voice. I figured it was time for her and the others to know this. "So it's you who I am going to choose. You're my best friend. The other two are my close friends, and we're all good friends as a group but out of all three of you, it's you that I consider my closest. That's why I was upset with you for avoiding us; I didn't think it was right you were ignoring me or even Ellen when it was Michael who was to blame."

She looked over at me with shock. She didn't seem to know what to say to that. For a moment I wondered if I came off too strong. Maybe she didn't want to know that one of her male friends felt so close to her when she had a boyfriend. It was why she could never know about the thoughts I'd had about her in the summer.

"Why me?" She asked slowly. "I thought you and Michael were closer. You're both boys, and well, I don't mean to eavesdrop but I have heard you two and your conversations. Michael knew before Ellen or me about Melanie. If Michael isn't your closest friend I thought maybe Ellen because she was your first friend."

I understood now. She wasn't upset; she was just surprised that I would pick her over the other two. It was part of her old insecurities but I guessed I couldn't blame her too much. I hadn't treated her very well either in the past.

"I could discuss the same with any of the guys in our year, but I am not closer to them," I explained to her. "Ellen was my first friend but that doesn't mean anything. It's hard to explain Ashley; it's just ever since Easter, and maybe last term. I just realized it was you that's my closest friend. It's why I felt the need to correct everything when it came to your sister, and it's why I apologized about it. It's your opinion I care more about out of those two."

"I guess it's just hard for me to decide between you and Ellen," she said. "I feel comfortable telling both of you things, or coming to both of you. The only things I don't tell you are… well certain girl stuff. The only reason Ellen knew about Denver before you was because she asked. But between the two of you, it's a close tie. I hope you're not offended."

I had to smile at her. Of course it was my feelings she was worried about. She didn't care that I felt closer to her because it made her uncomfortable; it was because she was worried I'd be upset if she wasn't closest to me. I just wanted her to know that I was her friend no matter what. I didn't want her to feel she couldn't tell me things. I'd felt in the summer that she didn't think she could trust me. Maybe now she would.

"No, it's not a competition Ash. I figured out of the four of us, each of us felt closer to a certain person than the other. It's not a big deal. I don't know about Michael and Ellen now, but for a while it was obvious Michael was closer to Ellen. And perhaps she was closer to him. Barry and Brianna both told me it happens. I talked to them about it over the summer," I said.

"Well, do you want to go find Ellen then? I really do miss her." She said smiling back at me.

"Sure, but she does owe me an apology." I told her and shrugged. I was ready to make it up with her. We needed to be on the same side for Quidditch after all, and I did miss her as well.

"The three of us need to sit down and talk about everything," Ashley said. "Melanie is right, it did clear the air and now we need to talk about it."

We both got up at the same time and turned to head back to the castle. On the way there we talked quickly and excitedly. We kept interrupting each other as we talked about our new relationships. I decided against telling her that Melanie didn't think it was a good idea for us to talk. There was a chance that she might take it the wrong way. As soon as Melanie saw us talking she'd realize that she was wrong and she'd be happy for us. She and Sarah had always gotten along well enough with Ashley and Ellen after all.

Ashley had a huge smile on her face. It made me wonder what she was thinking about. Was she happy that we were talking again or was she thinking about Denver? Usually when she talked to us about Denver, she would have that expression on her face.

"What's the smile for?" I asked her. "Are you thinking about your boyfriend?"

"No," she said and she stopped walking and turned to hug me. I felt butterflies in my stomach. They're just because you're happy your best friend is hugging you. I told myself as I hugged her back tightly. "It just feels good to be friends again. I really missed you Ben. I miss Ellen too, and I know she will talk to us again."

I laughed and stepped away from her even though I didn't really want to. She was a different girl for sure. I was glad to finally see her as a confident happy girl like she should be.

"Good to see some optimism from you, Ashley. You're a different girl from last year you know. You've changed, and I am not just meaning because of this fight. I just remember last year. You weren't confident in anything, now you are." I told her.

Ashley laughed as well.

"That's something I've heard a lot. Everyone tells me I am different. But it's because of you three and I am including Michael in this, even if he has been a prat lately. I did have a reason for all the self-pity and pessimism last year. I just had to get over it. And now I know I am good in Charms, even if I'm not in other classes," she replied.

"You're better in your classes though," I told her. "Like I said, you just needed confidence."

"I know," she answered.

She was looking ahead. Ellen was outside with Hank. They were talking and smiling together.

"Ellen!" Ashley called out.

Ellen looked over at us and a smile of relief broke across her face. She was obviously ready to make up as well. It made me wonder what it was that Melanie had seen. She'd been so insistent that Ellen and Ashley would not want to make up with me. Maybe it was just because they didn't want to make up with Michael that she thought that, or perhaps she thought that they would come to me first. I would have to ask her later why she thought they wouldn't want to talk to me. I saw Ellen say something to Hank, who nodded and gave us a small wave before he went inside. Ellen rushed over to us excitedly.

"Perhaps this will be easy," Ashley muttered to me and I nodded in agreement.

"So we're making up now?" Ellen asked excitedly as soon as got close enough to each other.

"If you want to," Ashley said to her. "Ellen, I am sorry. I wasn't trying to offend you. It's just Michael made me so upset that I was trying to find any way to get to him. I didn't mean to insult you though. I honestly don't care who uses those things. I don't think you are stupid for using them."

"I overreacted," Ellen told Ashley. "I knew you weren't trying to offend me. I was just so angry. I am sorry too. I mean, we got in a fight on your birthday of all days. I was never angry with you. After I had some time to cool down, I felt bad. I just felt embarrassed and I was sure you were going to be angry with me for ruining your birthday."

"You didn't ruin my birthday," Ashley muttered.

Although I didn't feel that I should have to apologize first, I decided to do it anyway. I just hoped that Ellen would follow suit as well since she did owe me one more than I owed her one.

"And I am sorry too," I spoke up. "I do think those candies are dumb but I don't think you are dumb. It's your choice to use the things. I'll never agree with that choice, but I am not going to ever say anything to you about it again after this."

"I know Ben, but I am not you. You have to remember that when it comes to homework and everything. I want to do magic but I don't want to spend all my time doing homework and I don't want someone nagging at me for not doing it all the time and I don't want someone bothering me about missing classes either." Ellen said with a shrug but she didn't apologize.

I almost wanted to snap at her, but I decided against it. Instead I decided to tell her my exact thoughts about how I felt about her attitude towards school and her parents' divorce. Perhaps she was just working her way up to an apology. I could tell she was happy to talk to me again after all. If she didn't apologize I would tell her she needed to do so.

"I know but Ellen, you shouldn't stop doing homework or doing well in school because of your parents," I began but Ellen interrupted me before I could.

"Ben please, I don't want a lecture," she sighed but I shook my head and put my hands up. I was going to have my say either way. I'd gotten so angry with Ashley for not speaking up and now it was my turn.

"No Ellen, just hear me out please. I am never going to lecture you or "nag"-" and I put finger quotes around the word 'nag' "after this, but just let me have my say and I will never bring it up again." Ellen looked me in the eye, shrugged and nodded before looking away to show me she was listening. "I just don't think you should stop doing your classwork because your parents divorced. Do it in your own way, I don't care how. Just continue to try and succeed. Don't let the divorce put you down. I know you feel disappointed that all your hard work last year didn't pay off. I get that. All I am trying to say is that you're going to be here for the next six years and I want to see you get your OWLs and NEWTs at the same time as we do. I want us to finish school together. Just remember that, okay? Like I said I am never going to bother you about doing homework again but just don't let yourself fail."

Ellen didn't respond to me at first. At first I wondered if I'd made her angry again. She let out a small sigh and kicked a rock in front of her.

"I plan to pass every year Ben. And I am very sorry for the mean letter I wrote to you in the summer. I just felt so upset that I needed someone to blame. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine. I already knew deep down that they would divorce. It still hurt to find out. And I am sorry that I rub it in your face about Jaime. I won't do it anymore. You don't have to worry; just because I don't do homework as much as you do doesn't mean I plan to fail. Just let me do it my own way, okay?" She finally said.

I held up a hand. I was just glad that she had finally apologized after all this time. "Believe me, I promise. And it's okay about the letter. I understood. Ashley and I just agreed that the three of us had so much tension between us because of Michael that we all blew up at each other."

"That's for sure," Ellen agreed. "I feel bad for him though. I mean, people can't help who they like. I couldn't help falling for Hank any more than you couldn't help falling for Melanie or you Ashley falling for Denver."

"Except it worked out for the three of us," I said.

"I just don't know if I am ready to talk to him yet," Ellen told us.

"Same here," Ashley responded. "Ben and I discussed that. I have nothing to apologize to him for. It's his move. He needs to apologize to me, and I might consider forgiving him. But if he does hang out with us again, he's on probation. I know you shouldn't do that with friends, but it's different with him. He's done this to us too many times."

"No I agree," Ellen said quickly.

"I do too, I already said I am with you no matter what," I said turning to Ashley.

"I am too," Ellen said to Ashley. "You're my friend first before him. So are you Ben." She added turning to me.

The three of us smiled at each other, and I knew we were okay. I couldn't wait to tell Melanie that we'd made up at last.

"Where have you been, Benny," Melanie said to me as I sat down beside her in the library. She and Sarah were studying Transfiguration together.

"Please don't call me Benny," I said. "I don't like it."

"But I thought you said your family used to call you that," she said as she rubbed a hand on my arm.

"They did but I told them not to anymore," I said. "It's not a nickname that I want anymore. I'm almost thirteen and it's a nickname for a six year old."

"I once heard Ashley call you that," Melanie said.

"And I told her never to call me that again," I responded. "Speaking of which, I just came back from making up with Ashley and Ellen."

"That's great!" Sarah said excitedly. "I know you have all missed each other. Ashley has seemed so lonely without the two of you, and I can tell Ellen really wanted to talk to you again. I could always see the three of you looking at each other. What's going on with Michael?"

"He has to come to us," I answered. "Well I don't really feel he owes me an apology but the girls are uncomfortable around him. I'm their friend before his. If he wants to hang out with us again, he has to apologize to them and he's on probation. He can't pull any of the crap he's been pulling lately."

"Probation?" Melanie asked. "You can't just put a friend on probation Ben."

"When they continue to pull what he did I can," I said. "We're all in agreement on it."

"So you're going to be hanging out with them again?" Melanie asked.

"Of course I am, and I am sure they'll hang out with us," I told her. "Maybe we can hang out with Ashley and Denver and Hank and Ellen."

"So Ashley and Denver are still close?" Melanie asked.

"Haven't you seen them?" Sarah asked. "Of course they are. Melanie, remember what we talked about earlier."

"Fine whatever," Melanie said. "It's nice to know you and your friends made up. You have seemed kind of depressed without them. They both are in relationships too, so I'm sure they'll want to hang out with their boyfriends."

I thought about what Sam had said to me after our practice for try-outs. She did sound a little jealous but I decided to ignore it. Once she saw all of us together she would relax. Perhaps even Denver and Hank would get jealous that Ashley and Ellen were hanging out with me. My siblings had warned me against this, but as long as I showed Melanie that it was her I wanted she'd be fine.

"Exactly," I said. "Later you and I can have some time together."

Melanie grinned at me and took my hand. "Sounds good to me."

I sighed happily. I had my friends back, and I had a girlfriend. Life was finally good after months of tension.


	3. Break Ups and New Girlfriends

My happiness didn't last too long. Before I'd gotten together with Melanie I believed she was a confident and secure person, but after being with her a couple weeks I started to realize I was very wrong. She had seemed okay when we'd first gotten together. Now I could see that Sam was right and I was very wrong. I sat down one evening to write a long letter to Barry because I didn't know how to handle it.

One thing that bothered me was that I could see it was driving away my friends. Ashley and Ellen wanted to talk me but Melanie would get upset with them or tell them that she wanted us to be alone. Often she would remind Ashley that she was dating Denver. I didn't want to dump her but I didn't know how to bring it up without offending her.

"When is Sluggy having his next party?" Melanie asked me one morning as she put an arm around my shoulders after she shot Ellen and Ashley a dirty look for sitting with me. "It will be nice for us to go together alone."

Slughorn hadn't really had any of his club meetings that year. I figured with the tri-wizard tournament he'd be too busy. I was surprised we were even having Quidditch that year. Barry had told me that the last time they'd had it there was no Quidditch. I was glad though, and so was Ellen for that matter. We had practices a few times a night and we both loved it.

"Not sure," I answered. "I don't know if he is doing a Halloween party this year with the Tri-Wizard Tournament starting then. I'll ask him though."

Melanie started to rub my shoulders. "That would be great, because you know; we haven't had an actual date together. It's a shame that second years can't go to Hogsmeade. Ashley, don't you feel that you don't get to see Denver enough since he's in Slytherin? It must be so hard to have a boyfriend in another house. The two of you don't even get to eat together. It's a surprise you don't feel anything for other boys."

I looked over at Melanie in surprise. Ashley raised her eyebrows at her. The rest of the second year Hufflepuffs were sitting with us, including Michael and Jared who had been avoiding everyone lately. No one had been too happy with them considering all the drama they had tried to start not only with us, but everyone else. However lately I'd noticed both of them had been staring at us lately, and I wondered if they wanted to make up. Michael was staring at Ashley, when she glanced at him he smiled at her before looking away.

"Denver and I see each other enough, and we do eat together. We often have picnics together. It's not too hard to make a date, even if we don't have dances or we don't go to Hogsmeade. You work with what you have," Ashley answered icily. "And I only have feelings for Denver."

She put down her fork and got up and left the table. Ellen looked at me and then at Melanie before shaking her head. This time I couldn't really blame Ashley for not wanting to stick around. This time Melanie had gone way too far. I glared at her; she was smiling down at her plate. I hoped Barry's letter arrived soon because I had no idea what to say or do. A small voice in my head told me to dump her, but I wanted to talk to her about it first. I wanted to try to make things work first. I just had to put up with it until I got a letter from Barry. He would know what to do.

Michael got up a moment after Ashley did, and followed her out. I watched him go. I had a feeling he was going off to talk to her. I looked over at Ellen who shrugged. Maybe he was finally going to go off and apologize to her. I'd be willing to talk to him again if he apologized to both her and Ellen. I didn't admit to Ashley or Ellen, but I did actually really miss talking to him. I missed the guy he had been before everything changed.

As the morning went on, Ashley informed both Ellen and me that he had indeed apologized to her.

"He wants to talk to all three of us at lunch though," she said. "I told him we would."

"I told you it's up to you," I said. "If you're up to talking to him then I will." I looked at Ellen who nodded in agreement.

"As long as he understands that I am with Hank now then I'll talk to him," she said. "We'll still put him on probation but I think we should give him a chance again. I told you in Defense though, it's up to you. I can't really hate him for liking me even if he did make me uncomfortable. I just didn't like the problems that he has been causing with all of us lately."

So at lunch we all ate together before Ellen, Ashley and Michael got up at the same time. The three of them looked at me expectedly.

"We're just going to go out and talk to Michael," I told Melanie.

"Why?" She demanded. "Can't you talk to him later?"

"We're just trying to talk about the fight," Ellen told Melanie. "You can see Ben later, but we have things we need to talk about."

Melanie shook her head and shot a glare at Ashley who glared back at her.

"Look, I really need to talk to him," Michael said. "I'd like to talk to all three of them."

"But you can always talk tonight," Melanie said. "Ever since you've made up with your friends you haven't wanted to hang out with me."

I stared at her incredulously. I'd spent more time with her since I'd made up with Ellen and Ashley. It was hard to try and get time alone with them. Anytime I wanted it to just be three of us, she and Sarah would come over or Melanie would make me go off with her. By that point I was sick of it.

"We will hang out tonight," I told her. "Right now I need time to talk to my friends."

"You'll hang out with him later," Ashley told Melanie.

Melanie glared and folded her arms. Sarah poked her and shook her head.

"Fine, whatever," Melanie said. "I'll see you later Ben."

She glared down at her plate.

"Reminds me of when Timmy pouts," I thought I heard Ellen mutter.

I squeezed Melanie's arm and got up to follow my friends out. I could see all three of them exchanging looks, and I had a feeling they were all thinking the same thing about Melanie. It was kind of odd after all these months to see Ashley and Michael in agreement about something. None of us spoke until we were outside and in the courtyard. Ellen, Ashley and me sat down on a bench while Michael stood in front of us. He looked nervous as he eyed all of us.

"I already talked to Ashley this morning," Michael began as he looked from Ellen to me. "I apologized to her about everything, but I owe the two of you an apology as well. I haven't been a very good friend at all and-" he looked over at Ellen. "I am sorry I made you feel so uncomfortable. I think I knew already you weren't interested but I still had that false hope. I'm sorry to have made our friendship awkward, and that I even liked you in the first place."

Ellen started to laugh. "Michael, you don't have to be sorry for liking me. It happens. I am never going to be angry with someone who has a crush on me. And there were times when you made me uncomfortable but it wasn't only because I didn't like you back, it was also because I was worried about hurting you. It's awful when it happens between friends. I also didn't mean it when I called you pathetic. You're a good friend most of the time. I was just really angry that day."

"You don't really owe me an apology," I added on. "I was just so sick and tired of the way you were treating Ashley. I already told you before to knock it off, but you wouldn't listen. You just kept making fun of her, and then you started to treat her as if she were the enemy. And then on her birthday of all days, you had to give her something she would never use. You were rude to all of us, but I could forgive you for that. But honestly, I'm surprised she's willing to forgive you for the way you treated her."

"I know I was," Michael said to me. "And she already told me that I am on probation. I am willing to take even that if we can all hang out again. I promise I won't be a prat again, and if I am, just tell me. I don't want things to blow up the way they did. And I don't ever think I actually liked you as much as I thought I did Ellen. It's just you're a pretty girl, and I was grateful for everything you did. But I've seen you with Hank, and it really doesn't bother me. And I've been noticing other girls."

"What about Lydia Jewel?" Someone asked from behind us.

I looked back to see Denver standing behind Ashley and rubbing her shoulders. I felt instant annoyance but I ignored it. I figured it must have been because this was our time to talk and we didn't need any of the people we were dating around. There was a reason why we had left Melanie behind. This was supposed to be our private time. That's not the reason you're annoyed I thought to myself but I pushed that thought away.

"You're lucky she's willing to forgive you, I don't think she should, but it's entirely up to her. But just know that if you hurt my girl again, you're going to answer to me," Denver continued.

I looked away from him so he couldn't see my anger. Part of me admired him for sticking up for her though. I tried to focus on that part so I could push my annoyance away. Ashley was my friend, and she always would be. Melanie was my girlfriend, and once she got past this jealousy stage we'd be fine.

"I don't plan to," Michael told Denver. "But no, I don't care how pretty Lydia is. I don't want her. Although from what I hear, she wants you."

"She's not getting me," Denver answered quickly. "Even if I were single; I wouldn't go for her. I don't like that type of girl."

"I thought you wanted one of the Andrew twins," Michael said frowning at Denver. "I knew Ashley was interested in you, but I thought for sure-"

"Everyone did, and maybe there was a time when I did have interest in them, but they like older boys," Denver told him in an annoyed voice.

"Anyway," I said tired of this conversation. I didn't want to hear Denver confess his love for Ashley. "If you're done being a prat, I am willing to be your friend again. Just remember, if you pull this bullshit ever again, than we're done."

"Same here," Ellen said.

Michael smiled at us. He looked determined to prove to us that he would never do it again. I certainly hope the fight had been a wakeup call for him. It had been for Ellen. She'd stopped bringing up Jaime and she'd stopping being rude to me. There was also a small change in her when it came to school work. She didn't do it a lot, and she likely never would but she did do it without argument at times. She'd even asked me to look over it for her a few times. In the past I had to ask her to let me look but now she offered. I had a feeling that the four of us would be fine from then on.

Everything was good between my friends after we talked. I was doing really well on the Quidditch team as well. It was kind of nice to have something to share with Ellen. In the past I hadn't really had anything I could relate to her like I'd had with Michael and Ashley. Now we had Quidditch. I was doing well in school as well. I had moved up to the top two with Tara being number one. The only part of my life I was unhappy with was Melanie.

I had thought that once my friends and I made up I would no longer feel stressed. I'd believed we would go back to the fun and carefree ways we'd had the year before. However my girlfriend who I'd originally been happy with was stressing me out. She hated it when I wanted to hang out with my friends. She didn't care when Michael and I went off to hang out, or if I talked to Keith or Dan. She had issues when I talked to the girls, more specifically, Ashley.

On my birthday, my friends told me they had plans for me at the Hufflepuff table at breakfast.

"And that includes no homework," Ellen told me. "You don't get a say in that. We've decided. It's three against one."

"Exactly," Ashley said. "You can go one day without doing your homework."

"We were thinking-" Michael began but Melanie let out an annoyed noise.

"Um excuse me, but Ben is hanging out with me all day. Most of the day we're going to be in classes. I have plans for him," she said. "Ashley, go hang out with Denver. You don't need to worry about some other guys birthday. Michael, I am sure you have better things to do. I mean maybe it's best if you aren't around a friend on his birthday. Remember what you did on Ashley's birthday? Ellen, you have Hank to hang out with. The four of you need lives outside of each other, and you did perfectly fine when you were fighting. Ben has a girlfriend now. I am spending it with him, so get lost!"

Everyone stared at Melanie in shock. Usually the second years always sat together. Anne, Jess and Erica all shook their heads after they looked at each other. Jared for some reason was looking at Ashley. She glanced at him and surprisingly he rolled his eyes and smirked at Melanie. Ashley smiled back at him. Second year was certainly bringing changes. In the past the two of them would never agree on something. No one had to say a word; I knew exactly what they were all thinking.

"Melanie," Sarah finally spoke up. "You really need to-"

"Oh shut up!" Melanie said. "Ben, let's go."

I hoped so much I would get a letter back from Barry soon. I didn't want to let her boss me around, but I also didn't want drama at the table. I felt embarrassed and annoyed at the same time. I didn't know what to do in a situation like this. If it had been anyone else commanding me or pulling something like this I would tell them off, but for some reason I couldn't with Melanie. Thankfully people started to get up and leave.

"We'll hang out," I finally told Melanie in a quiet voice. "But there is no need to tell me what to do. I'm flattered you want to spend my birthday with me but it's not right for you to be rude to my friends."

"I didn't mean to be," she said. "It's just I want to spend your birthday with you. Girlfriends should get it first. Ben, you have a lot to learn when it comes to dating."

"Friends come first," I told her. "You can't tell me you would ditch Sarah on her birthday."

"I would if she wanted to spend it with her boyfriend alone. You're not going to sit there and tell me that you don't want to spend your birthday with me?" She demanded.

"That's not what I am saying," I said. "Come on, let's go."

Melanie did try hard to give me a good day. She'd bought be a very nice quill and a homework planner. However, I wasn't happy at all. I wasn't so sure I wanted to hang out with her anymore, and Barry hadn't gotten back to me yet. I wasn't sure if I could talk to my friends about it since they were as inexperienced as me, and I hadn't had the chance to talk to Sam. For once instead of taking notes during History of Magic (I always leant out my notes to my friends, so I figured they could do it for me for once) I wrote another long letter to Barry. I told him how annoyed I was that he couldn't even bother getting back to me when I needed his help.

I know I could talk to Brianne or Brenda about this, but it's your opinion I want. I just don't know if they'd know what to say. I really need you to tell me what I need to do in this situation. Can't you take a moment to sit down and write back to me? It's stressing me out. She is getting so bossy. I know I shouldn't let girls boss me around, I remember you telling me that. I would never let Ellen or Ashley talk to me that way, but she had me on the spot. I didn't want another huge fight in front of everyone. I told her after they all left not to tell me what to do, but it doesn't change the fact that people are probably going to think I am whipped. Please write back as soon as you get this letter.

-Ben.

That night, Melanie and I had dinner in an empty classroom instead of at the table. She talked to me non-stop and I tried to keep up with the conversation but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I didn't want to hang out with her anymore. I kept telling myself to dump her but I couldn't after the day she'd planned for me. So I played the part. I just hoped that in a few days I would get a letter back from Barry soon.

It came up again when my friends wanted to spend a day with me on the weekend, but Melanie didn't want them to. We finally agreed I could spend Sunday with them while I would spend Saturday with her. I was angry though. It wasn't good that I had to compromise to spend time with people who had been my friends for a year. Barry still hadn't gotten back to me.

"Ben, we actually wanted to talk to you," Ashley told me.

We were sitting out by the lake. It was a chilly day but it was the only way we could actually hang out without Melanie bugging us. Ellen and Ashley never had problems with Hank or Denver letting them hang out with other people. In fact, I'd heard Hank tell Ellen she should spend more time with Ashley.

We'd just been talking about Quidditch. It was so random that I had a feeling I knew why she wanted to talk to me. I looked down at the grass and began playing with it without looking at her.

"About what?" I asked even so.

"Melanie," she answered confirming what I thought. "She won't let you hang out with us, and she gets so jealous when you talk to me or Ellen. I also don't like how you let her boss you around the way she has been. You've never let people treat you like that. You're acting like me, and you said you hate when I do that. I'm not trying to rub it in; we just hate seeing you act this way. It's not you."

I continued to play with the grass. Everything she just said was what I had been thinking. I pulled up a piece of a grass and rolled it between my thumb and index finger.

"I know," I finally said to her. "She's getting worse. Honestly, the only time I enjoyed our relationship was when we were all fighting. She seemed great. Maybe it was because I hung out with just Dan and Keith instead of two girls. But ever since we've been hanging out again, she's been getting more and more jealous."

"She knows the girls are in relationships though," Michael spoke up and then turned to Ellen. "I mean, does Hank ever get jealous about you hanging out with Ben and me?"

"Not really." Ellen answered him with a shrug. "He was a bit when you started hanging out with us again, but it wasn't because he was insecure with me. It was only because he knew how you used to feel. But I've told him you know and understand nothing will happen between us."

"And I really am over you," Michael added. "Trust me on this."

"I know, I've seen the way you've looked at Anne. Word of advice, Michael just tell her. Don't stare. That's what made me uncomfortable. It wasn't because you liked me. It was the staring," Ellen replied.

"Same with me," Ashley told him. "I mean obviously I knew you didn't like me. And now I know why you kept looking at me, but the staring really was uncomfortable."

"Duly noted," Michael said.

"But Hank also knows that we were all friends before he and I started dating. He knew what he was getting himself into," Ellen went on.

"Same with Denver," Ashley added. "He has absolutely no jealousy whatsoever."

"Well no of course not," Michael said. "We all know he will never feel that way when it comes to you."

I shot a glare at him. After everything he was ready to start insulting her again? I thought that he had wanted to prove to us that he was done all that. Michael's eyes widened and he held up his hands quickly.

"No, no I didn't mean it like that at all. I just meant, well you two have seen the way he is around her! Even before we started hanging out again, I noticed it. I just meant Denver is so secure in the relationship, and he likes you a lot. Everyone has noticed this. We talked about this the other night. Haven't you noticed how jealous the other girls are because of his devotion?" Michael said nervously as he looked from Ellen to me, and then to Ashley.

Ashley nodded at him to show him she understood. "No you're right, he has zero jealousy. He's even supportive of me talking to you again, and he didn't think I should. But he respects my choice, and he knows the four of us are good friends."

"Yes I've definitely noticed that," I said. I'd noticed that both Hank and Denver were so easy-going with Ellen and Ashley. "And it's bothered me that Melanie can't be the same way. She didn't seem to be the jealous type at all. It's kind of bad when I have to make a deal with her so I can hang out with all of you. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should talk to her about it, or just end it. I wrote a letter to Barry about it, but he hasn't gotten back to me."

I didn't add that I was really upset with him as well. I didn't understand why it was taking so long to get a response.

"Why didn't you talk to us?" Ashley asked.

"I just thought Barry was more experienced with this," I told her and shrugged. "I considered talking to the three of you, but I wasn't sure if you could offer advice to it. I was waiting for Barry's response first. I did plan to tell you guys everything. Barry and Brianne did tell me this could happen with us."

"Well I think it's ridiculous," Ellen said. "But maybe you should talk to her first."

"Do what you are doing with me," Michael said. "Put her on probation… although I wouldn't mention the probation part at all. Just talk to her about it, and if she keeps doing it just dump her."

Ashley started to laugh. "No, don't mention the probation part. I don't think she'll take well to that at all."

"Although it might make her dump you," Ellen said sounding hopeful and I raised an eyebrow at her. "Sorry," she added with a smile, "I don't actually want you two to break up. I just think she's going overboard."

I smiled at her though. I understood. "I get it. Do you mind if I go talk to her now? I know we said the four of us would hang out today and all but-"

"Ben," Ashley interrupted. "The whole point to us wanting to spend the day with you was so we could talk to you. Lately, we haven't had the chance to hang out without her around. It's hard to talk about something like this in the common room as well. Someone might overhear. If everything works out with you two, we can hang out later."

"Or if it doesn't we still can hang out," Ellen added.

I nodded and got up to head back to the castle. My friends were right. I should have talked to her sooner. I'd wanted to hear from Barry, but I had a feeling he would have told me the same thing my friends had. I needed to talk to her about the way she treated my friends and me as well. Many second years called out to me as I passed them, but I ignored them. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone else.

I knew Melanie and Sarah were planning to spend the day in the common room. Melanie hated the library on the weekends. She said it was always too crowded and loud. Sure enough, they were studying together by the fire. It was rare that anyone under fifth year could get the spot by the fire.

"Melanie, we need to talk," I told her as I approached them. "Let's go in the corridors."

"You wanted to spend time with your friends so why aren't you?" Melanie demanded. "I'm doing my homework just now."

"This is important Melanie," I said. "We need to talk right now. You don't mind do you Sarah?"

"Of course not. Melanie, go and talk to Ben," Sarah said.

Melanie shook her head and slammed her quill down onto the table. She got up and led the way to the door to take us out to the corridors. Once we were outside of the common room, she folded her arms and stared at me.

"Well?" She asked. "You insisted on ditching me today, so what's the problem?"

"You!" I said. "You get so jealous of Ashley and Ellen. You don't let me hang out with my friends. You try and boss me around as well, and you're rude. I wanted to talk to you just now and you gave me attitude. I am so damn tired of it!"

"Well I am so tired of Ashley! I know you're in love with her and she's in love with you but neither of you know it!" Melanie said. "So I'll give you a choice! Either you stop talking to her for good, or we're done. Now choose wisely."

"I guess we're done then," I said. "Ashley is my best friend."

"I can't believe this!" Melanie shrieked. "You're actually choosing that ugly bitch over me!?"

"Don't ever call her ugly!" I shouted back. "That is my best friend! I would rather have her in my life than you. She has always been there for me. You've been a horrible girlfriend, and I don't want anything to do with you. Sam was right about you."

"Sam? You're bringing up that little prat? He's a horrible little boy," Melanie said angrily.

"That's my cousin you're talking about," I said. "Good-bye Melanie."

I turned on my heel and walked away. How could I have been so wrong about her? She had seemed so normal before. We'd hung out a few times the year before, and she didn't seem as if she'd been the type who would get jealous. She had always talked to Ellen and Ashley as well. She knew we were all good friends, and she also knew that Ashley liked Denver. She'd guessed it even when they were still fighting that they secretly liked each other. For some reason she'd developed some kind of attitude towards my friends and me.

In the future I would never let a girl treat me the way she had. No girl was worth that kind of stress, I didn't care how pretty she was. I would never be with a girl like Melanie again. I decided that even if the relationship hadn't been a very good one, it was a good learning experience.

Deep in thought, I headed out to the memorial. My friends had disappeared by that point, but I was sure they had to still be outside somewhere. So I looked through the names of those who had died during the war. Some had been the same age as me. All the younger students had been evacuated but some had snuck back in.

"So what happened?" Ashley called out to me.

I looked up to see Ashley, Ellen and Michael approaching me.

"I had to dump her," I answered. "She told me I had to choose between you or her."

"Are you serious?" Ellen asked. "I knew she was getting jealous, but I just can't believe she made you choose between us and her."

"No, it wasn't you she felt jealous of. Well, she likely felt some jealousy but it was Ashley," I looked over at Ashley who stared back at me with shock. I thought about the thoughts I'd had over the summer for her. At times I still felt them even though I really didn't want to. I looked away quickly and stared back at the memorial. "She told me either I stop talking to Ashley for good, or we would have to break up. I told her that we would have to end it then."

"Ben I am sorry," Ashley said. "I don't know what I did, but I am sorry for whatever it is that I did to make her jealous. I thought everyone knew I only had eyes for Denver? I mean, Tara even tried to spread around a rumor that I was buying love potions to keep him around. He told her if she didn't stop and took it back, he was going to curse her with something that would make all her hairs fall out."

I didn't want to tell her it was likely because of me. I remembered all the times when Melanie would complain that I was talking about Ashley too much. There was no point in bringing that up though. At one point Melanie has even brought up the fact that Ashley had been seen looking at love potions in Diagon Alley. She'd asked me if I had thought that maybe she'd drugged Denver and then told me that I should be careful around her. I had ignored it at the time because I'd believed she was just repeating something that Tara had said; I didn't think she truly believed it. Now that I thought about it, I was sure Melanie believed it as well. All I had said at the time was that Tara was spreading lies around.

"You did absolutely nothing. Maybe she heard that I feel closer to you, I honestly have no idea. I should have guessed it though. It was you she started to make comments about. She even heard the love potion rumor because she told me I should watch it in case you did it to me. I told her it was Tara looking at the potions, and we'd caught her," I explained. It was partly true.

"Looks like you dodged a bullet mate," Michael said to me and he put a hand on my shoulder. "There are plenty of other girls though."

"Oh I know," I said and I did know that I would find another girlfriend. "I knew my first relationship wouldn't last. It's not really the break up that bothers me. It just bothers me that there are people out there so insecure that they would make me choose between them and my friends. Brianne told me last Easter it would happen, but it still bothers me a lot. She knew we were friends before. Next time I am going to make sure that any girl I date understands that I do hang out with two girls, but no I don't have any interest in them."

"Ben, I know so many girls who would like you," Ellen said. "When you're ready to move on I can help you out."

"He won't need help," Michael said. "I'm sure they've been waiting for this. They were so upset when you and Melanie got together."

"Melanie will regret this, don't worry," Ashley said.

"Especially once people find out how jealous she really was," Ellen said.

"They already know," Michael said. "Even when we weren't talking I noticed it. Everyone has been talking about it. They'll all be on your side mate, not hers."

"That's so true," Ellen said. "Everyone knows she was acting all possessive and jealous, even Tara."

"Don't worry Ben; you're good looking enough to find another pretty girl who won't get jealous. You won't be single long," Ashley said and smiled at me. I smiled back at her and pushed away the thoughts of me wanting to kiss her. I turned to Michael instead.

"True, and until then you can be my wingman mate," I told him and I threw an arm around him. "You can take all the psycho jealous girls."

"Gee thanks," Michael said and he lost his smile. "Just what I wanted. Especially now with me being on probation."

I felt bad instantly. He brought it up a lot, and although he'd told us that he was okay with it I didn't think he really was.

"You're overthinking this probation thing," I told him. "We're not going to stop hanging out with you over any small thing."

"Are you insulted by it?" Ellen asked. "You keep bringing it up."

I couldn't help but think that it was very obvious that he was insulted by it, but I didn't say anything.

"Because we already told you," Ashley added. "You have to be a complete prat for it. Look, forget the probation thing. Just promise us you'll always be our friend, and talk to us. If you feel stressed by your home life, talk to us. If you have a crush on another girl, talk to us. And we will ask you and talk to you if we notice you acting the way you were before. We're not just going to stop hanging out with you just like that. I honestly think we all need to try and be honest and talk as much as possible without any fear. I mean, we were scared to bring up Melanie today which isn't good. We're all best friends, even if someone is closer to someone else. So we should be able to talk and not feel paranoid."

I was glad that she'd said that his probation was over. I believed Michael had learned his lesson and he wouldn't do it again. I'd stuck by it for her sake, and so had Ellen but we all knew he was sorry by then. It was obvious by the look on his face that he wanted it over. She was also right that we needed to all communicate with each other better, and we shouldn't have to feel nervous about talking to each other. I'd been upset that Ashley couldn't trust Ellen and me, but as I thought about it, it seemed all four of us were scared to bring up certain matters with each other. Things shouldn't have been that way.

"You're right," I said. "I'm not going to stop hanging out with you over one little thing. I know I was an idiot last year about Jaime, but I have grown up since then. Look, let's just promise from now on we'll talk and hear each other out. That way no one is paranoid about anything, including Michael."

Michael grinned back. "Alright, I promise."

"Me too," Ashley answered and she put her hand out in the middle. I wasn't sure at first what she was doing but Ellen seemed to understand because she put her hand on top of Ashley's.

"I promise," Ellen said.

Michael placed a hand on top of Ellen's and they all looked at me. I had a feeling it some type of muggle kid routine. I slowly placed a hand on top of Michaels and we all smiled at each other.

"Now let's go in. It's cold. Let's get started on homework," Ellen said as we moved our hands away. We stared at her in shock and then burst into laughter. We turned and began to run back to the castle.

My friends were right, after the break up I noticed girls staring at me all the time. Often when I walked past them they would giggle and whisper to each other. There were even girls who were in other years who were interested. Tara was of course one of the most open about her feelings. A couple days after I dumped Melanie, she walked right up to me in the corridors with a big grin on her face.

"Ben, can we talk?" She asked before she glanced at Michael who was with me. Ashley had taken off somewhere with Denver and Ellen had gone off with Hank. "Alone?"

"Er sure," Michael said.

I shook my head at him but he gave me a shrug before he hurried off to join Jared and Stan. Michael had told us that he was no longer going to hang out with Jared, but he still did. I didn't think they talked about Ashley behind her back anymore though. Since we had made up I could see Jared staring at Ashley, but it was no longer with a dirty look like he had in the past. I believed he might have actually changed his mind about her.

Tara hooked an arm into mine and led me an unused classroom. She shut the door behind her and locked it with her wand.

"So I heard about Melanie, and I was sorry to hear that," she told me. "I know you might not be ready to have a girlfriend yet, but I wanted to let you know that I still really like you. Once you have some time to get over her, I just wanted you to know I am here for you."

"No," I said instantly.

"Ben, why do you keep denying the fact that you and me are meant to be together?" Tara asked. "You're just prolonging the evitable."

"No I am not," I said. "I have absolutely no interest in you at all. Speaking of which, Ashley and Ellen told me they caught you buying love potions. Don't even think about drugging me with one. If you do, you will regret it."

"It was Ashley who was buying the love potion," Tara said indignantly. "I would never do that. I caught her and I told her not to. That's probably how she ended up with Denver. She and Ellen were in the joke shop when I was you know. They probably both grabbed some after I left!"

"Michael and I were there too you know," I said. "Ashley, Ellen and Michael were at my place for the summer. My parents took them there to get their school supplies. I saw everything they bought. I also know that they would never do that."

"Well doesn't Ellen live in London now? She could have gone back by herself and-" Tara began.

"Enough!" I said angrily. "Tara, I don't want you. Now find some other guy and leave me alone."

I unlocked the door with my wand and left the classroom quickly. I wondered if she was finally going to get the hint. I pushed my way through the crowd of students and hurried to the Great Hall for dinner, later I would have to tell Michael off for ditching me with her. I didn't talk to anyone as I moodily ate dinner. Hank and Ellen were too much into each other to notice. Michael and Jared were in deep conversation about something, and Ashley was talking to Jess.

Once we were done eating, I went straight to the common room to work on my homework.

"Geez Hoofer, you're pulling an Ashley," Michael said as he sat down with me. "What's with the mood? Didn't you get all upset with her for doing this?"

"Why did you ditch me with Tara?" I asked. "You knew what she wanted."

"Is that why you were so quiet? You're that angry with me?" Michael asked looking worried.

"No," I answered. "I'm not really angry with you, but you still shouldn't have ditched me with her. She asked me out."

"I was sure you could handle her, besides if she didn't do it now she would do it later," Michael replied. "So what's really bothering you mate? This isn't like you."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Everyone was into their own conversations at dinner and I was still annoyed with Tara. I just came down here. I knew Ashley was going to go hang out with Denver after dinner, and Ellen with Hank. I wasn't sure what you were doing, so I came here-" I could see Melanie staring at me and I glared down at my Astronomy homework. "-and I just wish Melanie would stop looking at me! I am so tired of her staring at me all the time." I turned in my seat to shoot her a glare before looking back at Michael. "I can't believe how wrong I was about her. She seemed so normal last year."

"I agree. I've talked to her enough in the past, and I never thought she was like that," Michael said. "I thought for sure you had picked a good one. I wonder how often that's going to happen to us with the girls. I really hope Anne isn't like that."

"How's it going with her anyway?" I asked him. "Have you asked her out yet?"

"I want to ask her to Slughorn's party," Michael told me. "I'm just worried after what happened with Ellen. The girls did give me some tips. I've been careful not to look at her too much, and I've decided not to get aggressive like Jared told me to do with Ellen. That was bad advice, even if it does work with him."

"Certain blokes have it though," I said. "I don't know what it is, but girls just love it. My eleven year old cousin already has it."

"You have it too mate, you just don't know it," Michael responded. "Seriously, the next time you're interested in a girl just make a move. I can guarantee you that they won't mind."

"I don't have anyone in mind at the moment," I said and pushed Ashley out of my head. "But I think you should do something about Anne. Take your own advice. If my cousin can ask out a girl without being nervous than we should be able to."

"I'm just surprised you do get nervous," Michael said. "You're confident in everything else. Besides, I know you don't like Tara, but look how easy it is for her. How many times have you rejected her? She still comes on strong, and all those other girls who stare at you. I heard there was a girl in the fifth year who thinks you're attractive! You could get all the older women if you want mate!"

"Really?" I asked. "Which house is she in?"

Michael laughed. "I have no idea, it's just what I heard, but seriously mate I don't understand why you get nervous about girls. You can have whichever one you want. The only one who wasn't interested back was Jaime."

"And I don't even know what I saw in her," I admitted. "She's definitely pretty, but she isn't the type of girl I'd want. Ashley told me she skips classes all the time to smoke and drink."

"I can't imagine why someone would ever want to smoke," Michael replied. "I'm curious about what drinking would be like… not the way my parents do it, but you know there must be something to it since so many people like it. That's why I tried the wine at your place."

"I actually am too," I admitted. "It's so hard to get anywhere near any. The older students never let us try any during the parties. I would like to know why they like it so much; it can't be about taste since it doesn't taste that great. I know it gives you a buzz but I'd like to know how it feels."

"Me too," Michael said. "We have to try and sneak some."

"Anyway mate," I said as I saw Anne enter the common room. "Go talk to her. Slughorn said he will be having his Halloween party early this year. Go and talk to her before she joins her friends. The worst she'll do is say no."

Anne had stopped by the notice board, but Jess and Erica were across the room from her. The moment she joined them I was sure Michael wouldn't have a chance to get a word in. All three of them were beautiful girls. I knew plenty of boys who wanted to ask them out. So if Michael wanted Anne, he needed to do it quickly before someone else did.

"I don't know, I mean after Ellen-" Michael began but I shook my head.

"This situation is different Michael, go!" I said.

"I'm going to remind you of this the next time you like someone," Michael muttered but he got up and walked over to Anne who had a finger on something she was looking at.

I watched as he walked over and put a hand on her arm. She smiled up at him and he said something to her. Her face turned red and she nodded while a bigger grin spread across her face. Michael was smiling back at her. The two talked to each other for a moment before Anne walked over to her friends still grinning. Michael walked over to me with an equally big grin.

"You were right, she said yes," he said as he sat down. "Now we just need to find someone for you."

"I'm not that worried about it yet," I told him and I really wasn't.

The opportunity came up the next day. We'd started studying with more people in the library since we'd all made up. Usually Denver, Morgan and Claire studied with us and Hank, Stan and Jared had started to join us as well. I actually preferred it this way since everyone all had their strengths and weaknesses. There was a lot more people who were better in certain classes who could help those who struggled in others. I'd noticed lately that Ashley had started to go to Denver a lot more for Potions. He was one of the best in our year at it. In fact, ever since she'd started dating him her Potions were a lot better than they had been.

That night while we worked on our homework and discussed the Tri-Wizard tournament, Ellen came running in with Hank, Stan and Jared following her. Morgan, Claire, Ashley, Denver and Michael were already there.

"Ben! Michael!" She exclaimed. "I need you two to do me a huge favor!"

"You don't have to," Hank said as he and the others sat down.

"Slughorn is having his Halloween party next week and neither Hank nor I are in the club as you know. You two are, and you can invite someone! Please, please invite us. Ben, you can take me and Michael, you can take Hank," Ellen said ignoring Hank.

"Ellen, I already asked Anne and she said yes," he told her uncomfortably.

"Well, I don't plan to take anyone," I told her. "So I can invite you, but I don't know about Hank."

"I don't have anyone I am taking," Claire spoke up. "I can invite Hank. There isn't anyone I am taking either. We're all part of the club, and there isn't any boy I care for."

I'd always thought Claire was a nice girl. It was hard to believe that she was Parkinson. Most of the family were nasty. There wasn't a mean bone in her body though. I didn't know too many people, except maybe Maisie or Tara who disliked her. She was a popular girl who didn't even realize it.

"Oooh thank you!" Ellen exclaimed. "You two are the best. And hey, you and Claire can hang out together."

"You don't have to hang out with me Ben," Claire answered.

"I know I don't have to, but I will," I said smiling at her. "I can't think of a better date at the moment."

Although Claire wasn't the prettiest girl I did like her a lot. I was starting to learn that looks weren't that important though. Hadn't I hung out with Ashley for over a year? I'd had thoughts about her that I shouldn't have. When I'd first met her I hadn't thought she was pretty at all, but that had changed and it wasn't just because she'd changed her looks. She had just started to look better in my opinion. I was sure most people (especially girls) would be surprised I'd go for Claire.

Later that evening, Michael shook his head at me.

"Claire is a nice girl and all, but she's not that pretty at all," he told me. "Do you know you can have any girl you want?"

"And she is the one I want," I said. "Look Michael, I don't want you insulting her."

"I'm not trying to," Michael said. "That's not what I meant at all."

"I know what you meant," I told him. "But I've learned my lesson with Jaime. Of course I wouldn't mind dating a pretty girl at all. I'm just not going to turn down a girl like Claire either. Look at Tara or Melanie for instance. They are both gorgeous, but look happened with Melanie! Claire isn't going to be a bitch."

"You're right about that one," Michael said. "Well good for you mate."

I didn't believe he was sincere but I didn't care either. That was one thing about Michael that would never change. I was just happy to have a girl who was nice enough to go with. She would likely be a refreshing change from Melanie.

On the morning of Slughorn's party, my friends and I were talking about the party. A lot of girls were shocked that I was taking Claire. Tara had even told me I was an idiot for taking her. Melanie had started to glare at her as well. It was ridiculous the way some of the girls behaved. Some were being really nasty to Claire. I kept a list of them in my head for reference of who not to ask out in the future. If they could be rude to a girl I was going on a date with then they weren't someone I wanted to be with. I could picture them being the same as Melanie or Tara.

Ashley was reading through a letter her mother had sent her. She looked up at me with a nervous look on her face.

"So I know you said you wanted to have New Years at your house this year," she told me. "But my mother wants to know if you guys want to come over this year and-" she hesitated a moment, "She really wants to meet Denver. I don't know if he'll go for it, but she wants you guys and Denver to come over. If you don't want to come, and you want to go to your parents it's fine, but I think she really wants him to come over sometime."

I remembered the year before that I'd been upset that my friends weren't coming to my place. However that year my parents weren't even having the kids party. Brenda and Brianne weren't even going home for the Christmas holidays that year. With the Yule Ball taking place they wanted to stay, and they also had their exams coming up. Mum had written to tell me that she really wanted me to come home since no one else would be around.

"Actually we aren't having the party this year anyway," I told her. "Brianne and Brenda are staying at school for the Christmas holidays and Barry won't be around. My parents didn't feel like hosting a big party this year. I think they are just having a night to themselves and their grownup friends. So we can if we want."

"Excellent, I'll let her know," she said and looked over at Ellen and Michael. "She really likes you guys, that is if you two want to come over as well."

"I really would like to. If Rachel is there maybe she can do our nails again, and I know it's a lot to ask but do you think your mum would let Hank go over as well? It's okay if she says no but-" Ellen said really quickly.

"I'm sure it won't be a problem," Ashley interrupted her. "I was actually thinking if maybe Denver is coming, he might want Morgan and Claire to come. I was going to ask her if I can bring extra people. I doubt she'd mind. You saw everyone at my place last year. It's just everyone else has to get permission from their parents. Maybe Hank will want to invite Stan and Jared as well."

"Jared?" Michael asked in shock. "Are you sure about that?"

I stared at her as well. I had a feeling he was sorry about everything he had done, but I still couldn't believe she wanted him at her house. He had done what he could to turn Michael against her. He'd been indirectly involved in our fight. Hank and Stan had even stopped talking to him for a while. They'd all made up of course and he even hung out with us sometimes, but I didn't understand what was going on through her mind.

"I want to put the past behind me and move on. And maybe if he sees that, he'll stop hating me so much. Maybe he will say no to the invitation, but it's worth a shot," Ashley said.

"You can be a fool sometimes you know that?" Ellen asked echoing exactly what I was thinking.

"Your opinion, but if I didn't forgive people and try to make things right then I wouldn't be with Denver. Michael wouldn't be part of our group again. I know I promised Ben I wouldn't bring it up again, but the two of us wouldn't be sitting here right now. And think about our fight. It's worth it to forgive and give people a second chance. If it doesn't work out, then that's fine but at least I'd try and I would know," Ashley told her.

I kept quiet during this conversation because I didn't agree with her. It would be the same as if I forgave Melanie. It just wasn't a good idea, but I wasn't going to argue with her. She could be stubborn about this kind of thing. I knew she'd just get defensive.

"I know but still," Ellen answered. "I'll talk to Hank though, and I will let him know he and the boys can come if they want."

"Great, and I'll have to talk to Denver tonight at the dance. I am not sure how he will react to meeting the parent type of situation." Ashley said.

I was sure that if I had to do it I'd be nervous. I had been nervous enough about meeting Ashley and Ellen's parents. Ellen's father had stared down both Michael and me the previous year. I didn't think he liked us too much. If he knew how Michael had felt he would like him even less. I was sure at the moment he wasn't too pleased that she was with Hank. Ashley's mother seemed more easy-going about it, but I was sure parents (especially muggle ones) worried about the relationships kids developed at boarding schools. I knew some of the older kids had sex already. It wasn't hard to find somewhere in the castle to make-out. Melanie and I had found a few good places to do so. I was sure the older students had shagged up as well in those places.

"I'm sure he won't mind," I assured her.

"Hopefully not, and when he does come my mum is probably going to send my sister to follow us everywhere. It's what she did when Jaime's boyfriends came over. In the summer I followed them but I gave them space. Mum caught us though. I was reading at the top of the steps and mum wanted to know why, so she came upstairs and saw Jaime and her boyfriend in her bedroom," Ashley told us.

Michael laughed. "That had to have been awkward."

"It was and it will be when Denver comes over," Ashley said. "That's likely why she'd rather he be there when all of you come over. She knows we'll all hang out together."

Later that day, a letter from Barry finally came. He started off by apologizing about not getting back to me sooner. He then told me to just dump Melanie and then he wrote a bunch of advice on how to and what to do in the future if I had another girl like her. A little too late I thought to myself but I decided to keep it just in case I was ever in that kind of situation again. Ashley was reading over my shoulder.

"You know it will happen again right?" She asked me. "It will likely happen to all of us… well not so much me, but it will with the rest of you."

"It will happen with you as well," I told her. "You really don't think highly of yourself do you?"

Although she was a lot better when it came to whining (she rarely did anymore, and if she did she actually had a good reason for it) and she was confident in most things, she still wasn't when it came to Denver or about herself. She still had a very low opinion on herself. Although I felt that she actually did have a reason to feel this way. It made me feel disgusted with myself as I remembered all the things I'd said the year before. I glanced over at Michael who also looked guilty. He definitely hadn't helped with her self-esteem. So many people had called her ugly to her face or behind her back.

"Denver is the only boy who has been interested in me," Ashley said.

"You're wrong," Michael said.

"Stan was interested in you," Ellen told her. "He'd said he should have asked you out before Denver had."

"I'm surprised about Stan," Ashley said. "But you do know I have reasons for not thinking highly of myself. You try being called ugly by people all the time and see how you think of yourself. Even if you're right that there are other boys who like me, they don't tell me. Ben you have girls who show you that they want you. You've had your parents and your siblings tell you how handsome you are. Ellen, you have the same. It's how the two of you know you're good-looking because people tell you. I know I'm not because people tell me."

"She does have a point," Michael said. "Even with me I don't have people telling me all the time how good-looking I am. We all know people, including me and you Ben haven't been the nicest to her."

"I know," I answered.

"Look the point is that it probably will happen to you as well," Ellen said. "So what exactly did Barry say Ben?"

"He told me just to dump her. He said there was no point in staying with someone like her. He said I should have figured that out myself, I guess he's right but I just wanted to try and make things work with her. He also gave me advice about what I should do in the future and what to look for before I even ask girls out," I told her and I rolled the letter up.

"Can I see it?" Ellen asked.

"Why?" I asked. "I just told you what it said. You guys don't need to be reading my letters."

I tucked it into my bag. I didn't care that Ashley had read it but for some reason I didn't want Michael or Ellen to look at it. There was nothing personal in it but I just didn't see the need in them reading it either.

"Ashley read it right over your shoulder," Ellen said accusingly.

"Sorry," Ashley shrugged. "I didn't know it would bother you."

"It didn't," I said. "I don't care that you did."

Ellen sent a rare glare at Ashley but she didn't say anything. Although she always said it didn't bother her that I felt closer to Ashley, I did think it really did. I did whatever I could to keep Quidditch between us so she wouldn't feel left out. I wasn't sure if it helped out much though. I didn't understand why she cared so much though. Things like this always happened with groups of friends. Melanie had told me that Jess and Anne felt closer to each other and often Erica felt left out.

"Whatever," Ellen said. "We should actually go up and soon to get ready Ashley."

Ashley shrugged and got up. "See you later," she said to Michael and me.

"You know I get the feeling when we're older that you're going to have a love triangle with those two," he said after they'd left.

"No we won't," I said. "Ashley only has eyes for Denver right now."

"I still think someday you and Ellen are going to date," Michael said. "Remember what Barry said about him and Tasha? It's probably the same with you and Ellen. You two just have realized it yet."

"Everyone says the same about me and Tara and about Ashley and me as well," I said. "I believe they've said the same about Ashley and Jared. People have bets that they will end up shagging up, but they're wrong. No one knows what they're talking about. No one can predict this."

"I don't know about that, the Andrew twins have been spot on so far," Michael said.

"Look, I'll never date Ellen," I told him. "I'm hoping tonight things will work out with Claire anyway."

"You know, you're the only bloke who gets upset when people mention that you might date Ellen," Michael said. "Everyone else would be thrilled."

"Because I just don't see her that way," I said. "Look, I know she is beautiful. I've noticed, believe me. I just don't see her that way. Haven't you seen pretty girls that you don't feel anything for? I feel like Ellen is a younger sister and I expect I always will."

Michael didn't say anything; he just looked at me in almost a pitying way. I was sure he didn't believe me, but not too many people did. I shook my head and pulled out my Herbology homework. I didn't see the need to get ready so early like the girls did. There was still hours before we had to go down. Michael obviously saw that I was done with the conversation reached into his bag to grab his homework as well. I glanced around the common room to see that girls were starting to go down to their dorms to get ready.

"Have a good time with Claire," Melanie said as she approached our table. "You would have had a better time with me though."

"Why? Because you would have bossed me around and gotten angry with me for talking to other girls?" I asked.

"If you're on a date with a girl you shouldn't be talking to other girls anyway," Melanie said. "Claire is going to realize it as well you know."

"It's just one date, but if it works out between us I know that Claire won't care," I said. "She knows I am friends with girls. I know she is friends with boys. Neither of us care. Maybe you should branch out a bit Melanie."

Melanie glared at me and turned and walked off to join Sarah.

"I have a feeling she is going to try and wreck any relationship you get into," Michael said.

"No she won't," I said.

"Well I hope not," Michael answered. "But she seems the type to do it. I never realized it but she is a less smart version of Tara. Hey… maybe you and Tara will-"

"Would you shut up," I said. "Enough with about Tara and me or Ellen and me."

"I'm only joking," Michael said with a smile. "Hoofer, sometimes you need to relax a little."

"I agree," Jared said as he approached our table. "Have either of you seen Ashley?"

"They went up a while ago to get ready," Michael said. "Why?"

"Ellen told me she wants me to go to her New Year's party so I want to talk to her," Jared said.

"You'd better not be rude to her," I told him. "I haven't completely forgiven you for the other times yet."

"No, I plan to apologize to her," he answered. "I admit I was completely wrong about her and I shouldn't have been rude to her. I shouldn't have tried to turn Michael against her either. Shortly after you had your big fight I thought about it, and I've felt terrible. I'm just surprised she actually wants me to go to her New Years party after all this. I was right that she is weird though. She's dating a bloke who used to hex her in the corridors and now she wants me of all people to go to her house."

"She just hates having enemies," I explained. "She knows that there will always be people who don't like her, but if she can change that she will try. Believe me, we all find this a mystery too. She's a bit too trusting at times; it's why we have to look out for her. She can end up trusting the wrong person. It's why I'm warning you that you'd better not ever hurt her again or insult her behind her back."

"I don't plan to," Jared said. "I guess I'll just talk to her later then. Let her know I want to talk to her please."

"He is sorry," Michael told me as he walked off. "It's not a plan to hurt her or something."

"Good, but we do have to do something about her," I said. "She can't keep doing this. Maybe Jared and Denver are different but sometimes I worry she might try and befriend Don Zent or even Maisie. That would be the worst thing she could ever do. We have to watch out for her more. The Zents are bad news, and I know they can be charming when they want to be. There are others who are the same."

Michael nodded. "I know she is. That's why I let Jared convince me. She's just willing to be friends with anyone. I know I was an idiot now but still, it did seem a bit suspicious. She's just too gullible and it could lead to something else."

Claire and I ended up having a really good time that night. I met her down in the Entrance Hall waiting for me with Shelly Andrews. She smiled as soon she saw me. Hank and Ellen trailed behind me slowly, they were both deep in discussion about the party that night.

"Hi," I said. "You look really good."

She did, she was wearing pink dress robes and she had her hair done up with flowers in wound through it.

"Thanks," she answered. "So do you."

"Are you ready to go?" I asked her.

She nodded and smiled over at Hank.

"I guess you'll have to walk with me for now," she said to him.

"We're really grateful for this," Ellen told her.

Claire shrugged. "I told you, I wasn't inviting anyone anyway. What's going on with Ashley and Jared? Denver looked really upset to see her with him."

"He wanted to apologize for everything," I replied.

We said good-bye to Shelly and headed to the dungeons.

"Denver can't be jealous over that," Ellen said, "he knows Ashley only wants him."

"It's not jealousy," Claire told her. "He hates Jared. I don't think he'll be too happy that she is talking to him after everything he did. He still doesn't think that she should be talking to Michael, but he understands. I don't think he will understand if Ashley forgives Jared. To be honest, I don't understand it either. She's a nice girl, but she's going to get herself in trouble on of these days. She's going to trust the wrong person."

I was glad I wasn't the only person who noticed this. However, that night I didn't want to focus on Ashley. I wanted to put all my attention on Claire, so I quickly changed the subject. It ended up being a really good night with her.

After that night, Claire and I hung out more often and I felt like we were basically an instant couple. Neither one of us said anything about it, it just happened. I wasn't nervous with her at all. She was someone who was very smart and she worked hard. She was who I thought Melanie could have been if she hadn't turned out to be psycho. I never had to convince her to homework and we were able to help each other out.

Another bonus of course was that our best friends were dating each other. So our group was able to expand out. Apparently Ashley and Denver had a fight at Slughorn's party. From what both Claire and Ashley told me, Denver wasn't impressed that she was talking to Jared again. He was angry that she'd invited him to her New Year's party. We all agreed of course, but Ashley and Denver seemed to make it through it. Jared was the one who made sure Denver knew that he was sincere about being her friend.

I started to worry about Ellen however, she'd been happy with Hank at first, but she was growing moody after a while. Hank told us that she was constantly snapping at him. On the night that Durmstrang and Beaubatons showed up she seemed angry with Hank. Perhaps I missed something however, I admit I started to ignore my classmates when I saw that the girls from the other schools.

I knew the girls were older and that they would never look at a thirteen year boy, but I couldn't help but notice how beautiful some of them were. I didn't think it was a betrayal to Claire. There was nothing wrong with noticing a beautiful girl. As long as I didn't act on it, it was fine. Michael used to complain that I wouldn't talk about other beautiful girls, but that night I did. The french girls were gorgeous, and for a moment I wished I was still single and seventeen instead of thirteen. I knew the sixth and seventh year boys would do anything they could to talk to those girls. I heard Jared tell Michael that he could probably get with one of them.

"No one will want a twelve year old mate," Dan told him.

"I'm going to be fourteen," Jared reminded him. "There are seventeen year olds with fourteen year olds here. I'm sure if I wanted to, I could get one of those girls to look at me."

Michael laughed at Jared.

"Seventeen year old boys get with fourteen year old girls," he said. "Older girls don't notice younger guys. It's always the other way around."

"Really? Why do you think they call them cougars then?" Jared retorted. "Haven't you ever heard of older women going for younger men?"

"When they're in their thirties or fourties," Keith said. "It's not the same when you're a teenager. Those girls will only see you as a kid. I hate to break it to you."

Jared shrugged and then stared determinedly at the older girls. In all honestly, I believed if anyone could pull it off, that bloke could. He'd managed to get girls when he really wanted to. He did have the benefit of being nearly two years older than most of our year after all. He'd already had more experience than most of had even if he'd never had a girlfriend. He was like Sam, he didn't care about rejection. He would just pursue the next girl. I decided from then on that if it didn't work with Claire, I would take on a similar attitude as my cousin and friend. I knew by that point that girls did want me. Ashley and Ellen made sure I knew this, and after dating Melanie and now Claire, I could tell. I was never going to let myself get nervous around a girl again. I never wanted the attitude that I'd had with Jaime, or even Melanie ever again.

After that night, Ellen's attitude seemed to grow worse. It almost seemed as bad as it had been at the beginning of the year. She and I had been able to start joking around with each other again the way we had the year before. However, what ever it was that she upset with Hank about really seemed to be affecting her.

The worst part was, I knew that Ashley knew what was bothering her but she wouldn't tell me. I tried to get her to tell me the night when the Goblet picked the champions. Ellen had stalked off angrily after glaring at Hank, but Ashley remained tight-lipped. It bothered me because we'd all agreed that we'd be honest with each other from then on.

Perhaps Ashley told Ellen that Michael and I wanted to know though, because she finally sat down and told us in the common room what was bothering her. Her confession made me worry about my relationship with Claire. Ellen seemed annoyed that Hank kept looking at other girls, and at first I saw nothing wrong with noticing pretty girls, but what if Claire hated that as well? What if she guessed the thoughts that I still sometimes had for Ashley?

"Earth to Ben," Ashley said to me as she touched my arm. As soon as she did, I felt that familiar swoosh in my stomach.

"What?" I asked as I tried to put my mind on Claire.

It was getting close to the Christmas holidays now. We were working on some last minute term assignments. Soon enough our marks for the first term would be posted, and I was hoping that once they were I would beat Tara. All I wanted was to get my grades above hers. It wasn't even about being top of the year anymore, it was about getting ahead of Tara.

"You must really be happy with Claire," Ellen remarked. "We're talking about homework and you didn't even notice."

"Well I am glad you found a better girlfriend," Ashley said as she placed an arm around my shoulder. "The best part is it's my boyfriends best friend. I just wish Melanie would stop looking at us."

I glanced over to where Melanie was sitting with Sarah. She was glaring at Ashley with hatred, her face was slowly turning red. As soon as she saw me looking at her, her anger seemed to fade away, and sadness crept into her face instead. I glared back at her though. All I wanted was for her to leave me and my friends alone. I was so tired of the staring. She looked at me in every class and in the common room. It was one of the benefits of dating someone in another house this time. I doubted Claire would turn out to be psycho, but if we broke up, at least we wouldn't have to see each other all the time.

"Just keep your promise that you won't invite her to New Years," I told her.

Ashley had already promised me that she wouldn't, but Jess, Anne and Erica had asked if they could go as well and Ashley had let them. I was just worried about Melanie and Sarah finding out and that she would give in. Ashley did have that forgiveness streak in her after all.

"I told you that I don't want her there," Ashley told me. "Don't worry. I think the list is complete anyway. I want it to work with you and Claire."

"At least we're all in good relationships now," Michael said who was very happy with Anne.

After their first date together, she had told him that she wanted to be his girlfriend. I had a feeling he was still in love with Ellen, he often still gazed at her with love, but I noticed he tried his best to keep his focus on Anne.

"Right," Ellen said with some sadness and I glanced at her.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" I asked her.

"No," Ellen said before she got up and walked off.

"Ellen thinks that if you reveal your insecurities that it's a turn-off to boys," Ashley explained to us. "I tried to tell her that she is wrong, but she won't listen. She's already snapped at me a few times, so I've stopped trying to give her advice. Well, she won't even talk to me about it anymore anyway. I talked to Denver about my insecurities and it worked out."

"I wish girls would," Michael said. "Anne and I seem to be good, but sometimes she seems sad."

"Probably because of your love for Ellen," I stated.

"I don't love her," Michael said but Ashley and I glanced at each other before looking away. We both knew this was a lie. Our group still had a long way to go apparently. For the most part, Ashley and I were truthful with each other, but not always.

When our marks were posted, I was disappointed to see that I still hadn't beat Tara. Perhaps it was because I was focusing too much on girls. The year before, I'd only had Jaime on my mind but even then she hadn't been at Hogwarts, so she wasn't much of a distraction. The first term, I'd had my fights with my friends, my confusing feelings for Ashley, the disaster with Melanie and now Claire. I vowed that for the next term, I wouldn't let girls or my friends distract me too much.

The Christmas holidays were more or less the same as the year before. The one good part about it was that mum and dad didn't make me sit down and talk about the term as they had the year before. Barry was of course gone, and Brenda and Brianne had stayed at Hogwarts. They were having some dance called the Yule Ball. Not only that, but they also had their exams to worry about. According to my siblings, it was better to stay at Hogwarts during fifth and seventh year. I could see their point in a way, I'd seen the amount of school work they had to do. I would likely stay as well.

In the meantime, I enjoyed being the only child at home. I missed my friends and even Claire, but it was nice to be the main focus for once in my life. I felt like mum really wanted to spoil me. She even brought me breakfast in bed on some mornings. Often times I wondered what Ashley was doing though, and I tried to push those thoughts away. I was supposed to be wondering what Claire was doing, not Ashley.

Sam and I hung out during our big family Christmas. He seemed more than happy to tell me: "I told you so." when it came to Melanie. We really hadn't hung out most of the term. We both had our own lives and friends. In the past, I'd believed we'd see each other all the time, but that didn't seem it would be the case. He had his friends and I had mine. We were in different houses and we were in different years. It was a little sad that we weren't as close as we had been as little kids.

"I'm just wondering how long it will take for the other thing to happen," Sam continued.

"And what's that?" I asked.

"You and Ashley," Sam answered.

"Ashley and I are just friends," I told him. "She's with Denver and I am Claire."

"Speaking of Claire, how can you be with a Parkinson?" Sam asked me. "You do know what Pansy did right?"

"Claire is nothing like Pansy or the other Parkinson's," I told him. "She's hexed people for calling muggleborns mudbloods, and she is also ashamed of Pansy. She told me that she hasn't talked to Pansy since she was a little girl. Pansy used to baby-sit her, but she never liked her. I guess the last time she baby-sat her, Pansy locked her in her room and snogged Draco Malfoy the entire time."

Sam coughed. "I'm sure they did more than snog."

I was sure of it too, but I wasn't going to say that. Claire had blushed and she'd seemed like she wanted to leave a lot out of the story when she'd told me. I couldn't imagine going past kissing a girl even though sometimes Jared talked about shagging. I didn't think he had yet, but I was sure if anyone in our year was the first to do it, it would be him. He'd asked me a few times if I'd ever wanted to shag Melanie or Claire but I told him no. Another girl popped into my head, but I pushed her away. I shouldn't even be thinking about sex at my age, and if I did, it most certainly shouldn't be with her.

Ashley was on my mind a lot though, and I felt guilty about it and I was confused. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about my best friend that way? A year ago we'd almost lost our friendship because of my crush on my sister, and now I had strange thoughts about Ashley. Not that I had a crush on Ashley. It was Claire that I liked of course.

I hated how much it bothered me to see Denver and Ashley kissing. On New Years, I saw the two of them snogging out on her deck, and I had to fight the urge to hex Denver. I tried my best to focus on my other best friend who later on ended her relationship with Hank. He'd kissed Jaime on a dare and Ellen lost it and dumped him.

It made me remember the last New Years when Jaime had kissed me. I remembered how odd I felt and how it had almost ended my friendship with Ashley. Now when I looked at Jaime, I saw nothing. She was a pretty girl, but she'd gained even more weight since the summer. Why hadn't I noticed that she was overweight? She'd always been but I hadn't noticed that, I'd just paid attention to her face. The problem was, as beautiful as a girl's face was, I couldn't be with a bigger girl. Call me shallow, but I wanted a thin girl. So why hadn't I thought of that before? The only theory I could up with was that her beauty had made me ignore the weight problem. Now it was all I noticed, and I felt like a major prat for judging her.

When the new term started, Ellen seemed much happier than she had the previous term and I was glad. I didn't want another fight with my friends, and when one of them was grouchy, it usually caused tension for the rest of us. I thought she seemed fine after a break up, but she would later admit to me that she'd been depressed at home about it.

"But Hank and I were never going to last," she told me. "I'm glad we broke up. We had fun in the beginning but his eyes strayed too much."

"You noticed other blokes when you were with him," I told her.

"But I didn't sit there with Ashley and point them out right in front of him. I know that Hank wasn't blind in our relationship. I know he'll notice pretty girls, especially some of those french girls. I just didn't want him to announce every pretty girl he saw. That's what bugged me about it. You're lucky with Claire, she doesn't seem to notice when you do it," Ellen said.

"What do you mean when I do it," I asked as I tore my eyes from Ashley. She was at the notice board at the moment. I hoped Ellen hadn't noticed me looking at her. What if Ellen knew about my thoughts when it came to Ashley?

"You and Michael were so obvious when the other schools first came, but even now you stare at girls. The other night in the library you couldn't take your eyes off of Lindsay," Ellen said. "I mean, no offence to Claire. I like her and she seems like a nice girl but Ben when it comes right down to it, you can do better. I'm sure she knows that, so I am surprised she doesn't get jealous when you look at prettier girls. I mean, I felt so insecure with Hank but Claire isn't with you."

"Probably because you think blokes should only have their focus on you," I said.

Ellen knew she was a pretty girl. I couldn't see her as girlfriend material, and I didn't know why other blokes fell over themselves when it came to her. However, I could admit that she was a pretty girl. I was starting to believe that the compliments went to her head, and so she believed that she should be the one blokes went for. I noticed looks of course, but I'd learned that they weren't everything. So I knew that in her opinion that Claire wasn't good enough for me, even before she'd said that. It bothered her that blokes picked the less pretty girl over the prettier ones.

That was her issue when it came to Hank. She wanted him to think she was the prettiest girl and ignore the others, because she believed she was the prettiest girl. All the boys in our year, and even in the other years always called her the prettiest girl. I could see the competitive edge in her, and I hoped that she and Ashley would never fall for the same bloke. If they did, I could picture Ellen being brutal and competitive with her. She would be angry if a bloke picked Ashley over her.

"No I don't," Ellen said.

"You do so Ellen, and you know it," I said. "You hate it when another girl is prettier than you. You want to be the center of attention."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Ellen said irritably. "Rachel, Ashley and Claire."

"Because we all see it," I said. "You have to be careful about that the next time you get a boyfriend. You don't want to pull a Melanie. I know you notice other guys."

"Maybe I do have a competitive edge to me," Ellen said still annoyed, "but Hank wasn't completely innocent in it all. Come on, lets just go to Quidditch Practice before Ashley comes over here."

"Why are you avoiding her?" I asked as I stood up.

"She seems depressed lately, and I am in a good mood lately. I am past the breakup and I feel great. Don't get me wrong, she's a great friend but sometimes her depressed moods can be contagious. She's a lot better than she was last year, but I just don't feel like being around a depressed person at the moment," Ellen said.

I'd actually noticed it too. Ashley wouldn't talk about it though. I'd ask her a few times about what was bothering her, but she wouldn't talk about it. Eventually I was going to get it out of her, but for the moment I could see Ellen's point. I was happy as well with Claire and as much as I cared about my friend, I didn't want anything to put me in a bad mood either. Ellen was wrong about Ashley's moods being contagious. It was any of us that could affect the whole group. It was why we'd all been tense in the summer. It seemed if one of was sad or angry, the rest of us were. It was the same as when we were happy. So for the moment, I was going to ignore her sadness.

Other than Ashley's mood, everything else seemed to be going really well. My marks were great, things were going well with Claire, my friends were getting along, and we were branching out with the other Hufflepuff's. We'd always gotten along with the others in our house, but it seemed in second year we were talking to each other more and more. Even with Ellen and Hanks break up we were still talking to Jared, Hank and Stan.

Most weekends we had poker nights. Michael had started it one night, and it seemed to snow ball from there. The other years seemed to love it as well, and they didn't even stop us from drinking. I'd had my first taste of real alcohol at Ashley's News Years party. It was bitter still but I liked it better than the wine I had tired. Michael and few of the others had brought some. It was that night I learned that Michael was more experienced with alcohol then he'd let on. He confessed to me that he'd been drinking since the summer.

"I started with some of the blokes in my town," he'd informed me.

I was a little worried about his drinking to be honest. Now that he'd admitted it to us, he was drinking all the time. I didn't see anything wrong with it of course, but the way he drank made me worry that he'd become an alcoholic like his parents. The rest of us drank to get buzzed but he drank so much that he seemed to develop a higher tolerance than the rest of us. It wasn't only that, but he developed an attitude when he drank. He almost turned into what he'd been like in the summer and the beginning of the year.

"I'm worried about it too," Jared told me when I mentioned it as we watched him take some shots of firewhiskey. "I haven't forgotten last year when I got sick. The bloke gets hung over every time, but it doesn't stop him. Now if only we could get Ashley to drink. It might cheer her up a bit."

I shrugged at that one. "Don't pressure her. I don't want to bother her about that. When she is ready to drink, she will."

"I don't want to pressure her," Jared told me. "I just want her to have some fun. She was really happy at the beginning of term, and now she isn't. Maybe if she let her hair down for a night she'd have fun. Why is she depressed anyway?"

"She won't talk about it," I said.

"Well you should try to get it out of her," Jared replied. "I think she's losing weight. She really can't afford to. I talk to her all the time, but she won't say anything about it, but I can tell. She's pale and her robes are too big on her now."

I glanced over at my friend quickly. This was something I hadn't noticed before. She was standing with the three ditzes from Hufflepuff and laughing, but she didn't look happy. I always knew when she was faking it when she tried to be happy. I guess seeing someone everyday made it hard to notice things like weight loss, but as I stared at her I could see what Jared as talking about. She had lost weight, and she was a petite girl as it was. She was almost thinner than Ellen, and that wasn't good. Ellen was skinny, but she was short, so she didn't look too skinny. She was about the right weight for her height. Ashley was taller than Ellen however, and before the holidays she'd been the right weight for her height as well. Now she looked too thin. I couldn't ignore the depression any longer. I had to talk to my friend about it. I didn't know what could be bothering her.

It wasn't until we had a night to ourselves when I was finally able to bring it up to her.

"Okay seriously, what is wrong? You've been so quiet lately, and slightly moody. I don't know why you won't talk to us about whatever it is. All three of us know that something is bothering you," I said to her.

It was going against our pact to always be honest with each other, and it was irritating me with her more than it had with Ellen. I wanted to know what was bothering Ashley because she was still my best friend out of our small group. I always told her everything, so why couldn't she give me the same respect? I even told her the little details that most people didn't share.

"I just didn't want to complain or whine too much," she answered.

I had a feeling that was part of it. Ashley tried her best not to be the person we used to get annoyed with when it came to the self-pity. She'd come a long way from the girl she had been a year before. I didn't think she understood the difference between whining, and just talking to your friends about your problems. I remembered how annoyed she'd been when I hadn't talked to her about Melanie.

I didn't think that was her only reason for speaking up though. There was another reason she hadn't told me or even Ellen. I understood why she still didn't talk to Michael. Even though they were friends, I couldn't see them ever being close. She would always be closer to Ellen and me.

"You've come a long way from last year," I assured her as I reached to take one of her hands. She gazed at me with sad eyes. "But I don't think that's the only reason why you're not talking to us. So why aren't you? You know you can trust us, and maybe you're not comfortable talking to Michael but what about Ellen and me?"

Ashley sighed and set down her quill. She began to talk about problems that she was having with Denver. I have to admit, I was shocked to hear that anything could be wrong between the two of them. I'd never seen someone so devoted to someone before like Denver was with Ashley. I had a girlfriend of course, and I liked her very much, but he almost seemed intense with her. Most people compared them to an older couple rather than thirteen. I was smart enough to know that people we dated now likely wouldn't be people we'd be with later on. Claire and I got along now, but I didn't believe we'd still be together in sixth year. Yet, Ashley and Denver sometimes seemed as if they were a couple in the sixth and seventh year.

I remembered Barry telling me that relationships at our age were just hand holding and kissing. He'd told me that they likely lasted a few months before we would get bored. I could see what he meant, it had happened with Hank and Ellen. It would probably happen with Claire and me eventually. So I didn't understand what it was about Ashley and Denver that was so different.

I hated to admit that I probably paid a bit more attention to their relationship than I should have. I only noticed their closeness, but I hadn't see any of the moodiness that Ashley was talking about now. I was worried about if things did go wrong though. Since their relationship seemed so serious, I was worried she would take it really hard if they broke up. It had to be just a rough patch though. I could see Ashley chucking Denver before we broke up with her.

"Has Claire said anything?" She finally asked.

I shook my head. Claire and I really didn't talk about Ashley and Denver. We would mention them in passing perhaps, but we'd never really had a conversation about them. Most of the time they were with us anyway. I still didn't understand why Ashley hadn't brought up her problems to us anyway. Maybe she didn't want to talk to me since I was a bloke, but why not at least Ellen?

"I didn't know you two were on shaky ground, but you know you still could have talked to us. Have you tried talking to him?" I asked her.

"A few times, but he just changes the subject or he just says nothing is wrong, so maybe it isn't us but I am just so tired of his moodiness. Lately I don't even want to hang out with him because of it. It just seems as if it happened over night and it is getting worse every day," she told me sadly. "I just worry he is going to break up with me. I know he would never cheat, but maybe he wants to break up but doesn't know how."

Her eyes looked even sadder and without thinking about it, I reached for her other hand. We gazed at each other. I wanted to tell her just to dump the idiot then. I hated that he was putting her through all this, and I wished I'd known sooner. Sure I hadn't done anything about Melanie sooner, but I hadn't let it affect me to the point that she was. I knew she cared more about Denver than I had Melanie though. I'd stayed with her because I'd wanted things to work with her, but I hadn't felt the same about her that Ashley and Denver felt about each other. So in a way I could understand why she didn't want to pull the plug, but if it was going to put her in this state, she was going to have.

I didn't want to pretend to be an expert at dating like I'd tried with Sam, but I did know better now. I knew now it was better just to end things if talking didn't work. Barry would tell her the same thing, and so would my sisters. I tried to think of the right things to say to her. I didn't want to see her fail because of some bloke. I'd promised her mother that I would help her out. In fact, over the Christmas holidays, I'd had a long talk with Ashley's mum about her grades and the new classes we'd take in third year. Her marks had improved so much since the beginning of last year, and I was determined to keep that up. I wanted her to pass her OWLs and NEWTs.

"Ashley, it's not right for you to stress so much about this. You have to talk to him. You look like you've lost some weight, and you always have shadows under your eyes. Also, I looked at your last essay from Potions and you've fallen behind. You know you have to keep your marks up. I promised your mother I would and I intend to keep it that way. So you need to talk to Denver, and you need to focus on your school work again, and eat again as well," I finally told her.

"I know," she told me but I wasn't so sure if she did know.

Things didn't really change the days that followed, and then Ellen came to me all worried on Friday.

"Ashley is just laying in her bed. Maybe she is sick, I don't know. I tried talking to her but she wouldn't talk to me," Ellen said.

I wondered if it had something to do with Denver. I wasn't sure if Ashley had told Ellen about her worries with the bloke or not.

"Has she been there for a long time?" I asked Ellen.

"I don't know," Ellen answered. "I went down to our dorms to grab some galleons. Michael was talking about a poker game later tonight. I want to see if I can actually stay in longer this time. I told her that we were probably going to play soon, and she didn't respond. I think maybe she was even crying."

We made our way over to where Michael was sitting Jared. The two appeared to be arguing about something. I had a feeling that Jared was tired of Michael's attitude. When we'd had our fight, he'd tried to put all the blame on Jared. I'd talked to Jared since then, and from the sounds of it, Michael made up most of what he'd told us. He just didn't want to appear to be the bad guy. Often he talked about certain people behind their backs. He no longer gave us attitude, but it didn't stop him from giving it to other people.

"Do you think she is just sick?" Ellen pressed on.

"Who?" Jared asked when I didn't answered.

"Ashley," Ellen answered. "I just went down to check up on her. She's just lying in her bed all curled up. I tried to talk to her, but I don't even think she heard me. It's just strange. I thought maybe she was crying but I couldn't tell."

Michael looked indifferent about all this. I had to wonder if he even knew what was going on with her. He was nicer to her, but Jared was a better friend to her than he was. He didn't appear to really care, but a look of concern appeared on Jared's face momentarily. It was as if he didn't want us to know he was worried though, because it passed quickly and he gave a small shrug as he said:

"She was with Denver earlier. They were in the library."

"You were in the library on a Friday?" Ellen asked Jared with a slight smirk.

I found this odd as well. Jared wasn't a bad student. His marks were about average, but he wasn't someone who would be caught dead in the library on a Friday night. He even hated going there on a Saturday, but he would go if he had to.

"I had to find a book," he told her. "Anyway, maybe she is just tired. Leave her alone."

I wasn't so sure though, and I didn't think Ellen was either. We both glanced at each other and I could see the worry in her eyes as well. Did she know about the problems she was having with Denver? I didn't want to bring it up in front of Michael and Jared. I was sure she didn't want either one to know. I would have to ask Ellen later. At the moment, more people were joining us. I tried to forget about Ashley for the moment. Maybe she was just having that monthly thing that girls had. I remembered Brianne had been around thirteen when she'd started hers. I recalled moments when she'd be laying in bed in tears because the cramps had been so bad. It was something I was pleased that blokes never had to deal with.

"Ashley slept in her robes last night," Ellen told me the next morning. "I checked up on her this morning, and she was still just lying there. I wonder if she even slept last night. Something isn't right."

"I wondered last night if it could be-" and then I felt face redden. I'd talked about it with my sisters but never Ashley or Ellen. It was one of those things you just didn't talk about with female friends. It was an unspoken agreement that I believed the four of us had, but perhaps Ellen would know. So I sighed and then continued. "Well you know, her thing."

"Her thing?" Ellen asked and then the worried look disappeared from her face for a moment and she smirked at me. "And what thing is that Ben?" She let out a small giggle.

"You know what I'm talking about Ellen," I said.

"Why is that boys get so embarrassed about that?" She asked. "I mentioned it to Hank once, and he actually ran from the table. You know that Claire likely gets it too. Girls start it around twelve or thirteen."

"I'm sure you don't go around announcing it," I said to her. "I know girls get embarrassed about it too. Anyway, that isn't the point Ellen. I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with our friend, and I know Brianne and her girlfriends talked about it. I heard them more than once. So I am assuming you and Ashley do too. I know Brianne gets cramps from it."

"She had hers last week," Ellen answered with a shrug. "So no, it's not her period or cramps. It's something else."

"So what do you think it could be?" I asked regretting I'd even brought it up.

"I don't know," Ellen answered now looking worried again."Has she mentioned anything to you lately? I know she hasn't been herself, and I'll admit I was distancing myself from her because of it. I know it sounds selfish, but after my break up with Hank I just didn't need any negativity in my life. It bothered me more than I let on. I just wanted to be around happy people. I regret that now because maybe we missed something important. Ashley can fall into the self-pity but she's never done this before."

"I asked her a few nights ago about what was going on," I told Ellen. "She was worried about how things were going with Denver. I guess he's been moody with her lately, and it's getting worse. Claire hasn't said anything to me. Jared said last night she was with Denver. Maybe they got in a fight."

"That could be it," Ellen said. "It's the only thing that I can think of."

"Go find out what's wrong," I said. "Don't take no for an answer. I don't care if she ignores you. Keep asking her until she tells you."

"Why don't you just let her be?" Michael asked as he joined us. "I feel bad about what happened last summer, but come on. You know she can be dramatic about things."

"Michael, Ashley has never spent a lot of time in bed," Ellen said. "She didn't even do that when we all got in that fight. She still did her homework. Something is wrong. I've even noticed she's lost weight recently. Of all the times she's gone through self-pity or stress, it's never been like this. Something is wrong."

"She's lost weight?" Michael asked. "Why? How long have things been going on like this?"

"Since shortly after term started," I told him. "I finally talked to her the other night, and she told me that she was having problems with Denver. She didn't bring it up before because she was worried we'd take it as whining."

"I didn't realize things had gotten that bad," Michael said. "I didn't notice the weight loss. The girl really can't lose any. Why do you think she's so thin and her sister isn't anyway?"

"That's not really important at the moment," I said even though I'd wondered the same thing about Ashley and Jaime and about Michael and his parents. "Ellen, can you please just get her to come up here and talk to us?"

"Now I feel bad," Michael said as Ellen got up. "I've just been focused on Anne and everything, I didn't know things weren't going well with Denver or even her. She and I have gotten along really well lately but I haven't taken a good look at her."

"Jared was the one who pointed it out to me," I told him.

"I think Jared is in love with her even though he won't admit to it," Michael told me. "He gets too defensive about her."

"You'd better not be talking about her behind her back again," I said with sudden irritation.

"No, at least not in the way you're thinking," Michael answered. "It's not that I am bad mouthing her at all, it's just if anything negative about her comes up, he gets upset. We were talking about how she doesn't drink last night, and Jared got all defensive about it. It's just odd. He went from trying to convince me that she was the enemy to overly defending her. He sees insults that aren't even there."

"I can't see Jared ever falling for her," I said.

Jared was too superficial for that. He didn't want a relationship, but he did enjoy snogging different girls and I'd only ever seen with the most prettiest girls. He just saw Ashley as a good friend and he didn't want anyone insulting her. He'd told us more than once that he felt that he owed her. I was sure that was all that was.

"You never know, I've seen stranger things happen. Anyway Ben, I'm trying my best to make things work for our group. I regret everything that went on. So I wish all of you would stop jumping down my throat like that. Anytime I make a comment that you think of an insult, the lot of you get defensive. We agreed my probation was over, but sometimes I still feel as if I am walking on thin ice."

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely. He was right of course. I could tell that he was trying his hardest. He had his moments when he drank, but besides that he really was trying to be a good friend to all of us. He'd changed since the fight, and ever since we'd decided because of that to take him off his probation. He was our friend no matter what.

I looked up as the girls dorms door opened. I saw Ellen appear looking worried. She was holding something in her hand. She walked straight over to us and sat down.

"Denver broke up with Ashley because of these," she told me and I saw that she had pictures in her hand. She handed them over to me. "Someone, took all these photos to make it look as if she was cheating. I honestly believe it was Melanie who did it."

I looked through each of the photos to see that someone had taken a picture of her beside a different boy. The pictures meant nothing however. If someone had sent these pictures of Claire to me, I would know automatically what was going on. Nothing at all in the pictures seemed suspicious to me. In one picture, she was sitting beside some seventh year bloke. How Denver really thing that she was doing anything with a seventeen year old?

"We think she is trying to break up you and Claire as well," Ellen told me as I continued to look through each picture. "There was another one of you and Ashley, but Denver took it to show Claire."

"I'll talk to Claire later," I said but I doubted she'd get jealous. "Claire knows we are best friends. I doubt she'll get jealous. I don't even see how Denver can think anything is going on in these photos anyway. She's just laughing beside different blokes."

Michael reached over to take the pictures from me. He frowned as he looked through each of them and shook his head.

"Who would have thought Melanie would turn out this way," he said. "The odd thing is, I thought she and Ashley were getting along. I saw them laughing together."

"Well Melanie wanted to gain Ashley's trust," Ellen said. "I'm sure she's been planning this for a while. She still believes it's Ashley's fault about the breakup, so she wanted to get revenge."

"What a psycho bitch!" I said furiously.

Not only was she messing with my best friend, but she was messing with my new girlfriend and me as well. I looked around the common room for her, but I didn't see her in sight. I was going to do whatever I could to make her regret what she did. I just hoped Claire was smart enough to realize that it was all a trick. I believed that she was. As much as Denver liked Ashley, I didn't think he was as secure in the relationship as he'd lead people to believe. I'd often seen jealousy in his eyes when she talked to other blokes.

I actually remembered Melanie pointing this out to me months ago when we were still together. She'd gotten upset with me when I'd been helping out the Andrew twins with one of our assignments. I'd ask her why she couldn't me more like Denver when it came to her jealousy issues.

"Ashley gets tutored by the other guys in our year all the time with certain subjects," I'd pointed out. "Denver understands this and he leaves her alone. I wish you'd be as understanding as Hank and Denver."

"Oh please, everyone thinks Ashley and Denver are this amazing couple but their not. They are both insecure. Everyone says Denver trusts her, but if you actually watch him when he talks to other blokes, you'll see this isn't true. He just doesn't let on because he doesn't want to upset her," Melanie had told me. "Watch him when she talks to other guys."

What she said was true enough. I'd started to notice it after she mentioned it to me, but after a while I'd forgotten about it. I had so much going on that I couldn't focus on her relationship all the time. I tried my best not to anyway because of my confusing thoughts. Now it all made sense. Melanie knew exactly what she was doing. She used Denver's insecurities against him, and she knew he'd brood about it because he didn't want to upset Ashley. I imagined that the final picture of Ashley and me finally confirmed his suspicions and he'd dumped her.

"She won't come up here," Ellen said breaking into my thoughts. "I told her she should come up because you two wanted to see her, but she won't. She just started to cry again."

"I wish we could get in the girls dorms," Michael said with irritation. "Why can't we when they can come in ours?"

"Because boys aren't trusted when it comes to that," Ellen answered. "I'd actually like to see what would happen if a boy tried to get into our dorms. I know in Gryffindor that it turns into a slide."

"Same with Ravenclaw," I said. "Barry told me that he tried to get into the girls dorms once to get to Tasha."

"We should test that sometime," Michael said thoughtfully as he stared at the girls dorms. "Anyway, maybe we should just let her be for now. Maybe she just wants to be left alone. I say if she doesn't come out by tomorrow that we should force her to come up. For now, let's just let her be. Ellen, didn't you say that you'd wanted to be alone after you and Hank broke up?"

Ellen nodded. "It's true. I just wanted to be alone when we broke up. I agree with Michael. Let's just leave her alone for now. I'll take her down some sandwiches, because she really hasn't been eating but we'll let her be."

I didn't agree with this, but Michael and Ellen already had their minds made up. When Melanie and I had broken up, I'd just wanted to be with them. I didn't want to be alone. However, everyone was different and they handled things differently.

"Okay, just until tomorrow," I finally said.

But it wasn't just until Sunday. Ashley refused to come upstairs even for classes. By the end of Monday, I was fed up with it. I walked over to the girls barrel top door, and opened it. The moment I did, I was doused with vinegar and alarms began going off. Thankfully, not too many people were around to witness this, not even my friends. Classes had just ended, and most people were down in the Great Hall for dinner.

The ones who did see this were older and didn't know me too well. I just hoped they would never mention it because quite frankly, I didn't even want my friends to know about it. So I hurried away from the girls dorms to the boys dorms so I could shower. I wondered why Helga Hufflepuff liked vinegar so much.

It wasn't until Wednesday when Professor Sprout stepped in. She wanted to know what was going on with Ashley. For the first two days, Ellen had just told her that Ashley wasn't feeling good, but by that point she knew. She asked for the second year Hufflepuff girls help. Oddly enough, all the boys wanted to help Ashley as well, but she wouldn't let them. She knew Michael and me were good friends of Ashley's, so she let us go but she made the others go to classes.

The moment I saw Ashley, I felt scared. She'd been losing weight before, but clearly she hadn't been eating the sandwiches that Ellen had been taking down to her. She was even thinner than she had been before, and she was too pale. She'd always been a very energetic girl. She ran everywhere, even when she didn't need to run, she would run anyway. At that moment, she could barely move because she had no energy whatsoever. She had dark shadows under her eyes too. I couldn't understand why my friend would put herself through this over some guy.

I walked straight over to her and pulled her into my arms. I hugged her tightly. I could feel her bones through her clothes.

"You're too thin," I told her as I pulled away. "When was the last time you ate?"

She looked away from me guiltily. "Friday," she answered.

I shook my head. I'd already assumed that but I had to hear it from her. She wouldn't even look me in the eye at the moment. I was not impressed with her. Denver wasn't worth her ruining her health or her grades. If the bloke could be so stupid to believe those pictures, than he was the problem. We hadn't even seen him lately. Ellen had told me she'd talked to him, but he refused to hear it. Claire knew that the pictures were a lie, so why couldn't he? According to her, he was never in the common room anymore either. They didn't know where he was hiding out, because it wasn't the dorms either.

"Come on, I am going to give you a piggy back then," I told her. "I can't imagine you have much energy. Why would you put yourself through that? I can't believe you wouldn't come up. You know that we're your friends. We're here for you no matter what."

"I wanted to be alone," she muttered.

Surprisingly she didn't put up a fight about me piggy backing me. Usually she had too much pride for that kind of thing. However, she let me carry her to the hospital wing. She was even lighter than Ellen was now. It wasn't the first time I'd piggy backed either girl, and she'd definitely lost weight since the last time.

Everyone began catching Ashley up on what going on in school. I didn't say a word. Melanie seemed way too pleased with what had happened. We'd all told her off by that point, even Claire had yelled at her for it. She didn't seem to feel bad at all. When Keith had yelled at her right in the Great Hall, she'd sat there with a smirk on her face. Jared had told her off more than once, and it didn't seem to affect her. Even Sarah, her best friend was upset with her and she didn't seem to care. How could I have been so wrong about someone?

When we reached the hospital wing, I set Ashley on her feet. I noticed she wobbled a bit. I was going to have to talk to her more later. We couldn't let something like this happen ever again. I hadn't had the chance to talk to Denver either, but I wanted to tell him off as well. Claire had told me that he was broken up about it as well, since no one ever saw him, but he couldn't have felt as bad as Ashley. He was the dumper after all.

After we were dismissed from the hospital wing, I turned to Ellen and Michael. The Hufflepuff girls had left right away, but we'd stayed with Ashley until Professor Sprout had kicked us out.

"I'm going to go tell Denver off," I said. "I don't care if Melanie was behind it. He should have known that Ashley wouldn't do anything with all those boys."

"I don't think it was the other blokes that bothered him," Michael said. "I think it was Melanie all over again. Remember how jealous she got about you and Ashley? Denver is jealous of you and Ashley."

"I doubt it," Ellen said quickly. "It had to be all those pictures. Melanie is just psycho but no one would believe that Ashley and Ben would end up together."

"Well they say it's going to happen all the time," I said to Ellen. "So that could be the case."

I knew a lot of people had their bets on it when it came to me and the girls. Most people knew by that point that I saw Ashley as my best friend out of the group, so they all believed I'd end up with her. It made me wonder if somehow they knew about my confused feelings too. Did I let it on more than I realized? With Ellen, they believed we could end up together but it wouldn't last. The Andrew twins even said they thought we'd have a love triangle someday.

"It's not," Ellen insisted. "Denver knows you two are best friends. He's not going to take that picture out of context. He was just angry about the rest of the photos."

"But why show Claire that picture?" I asked her.

"Ben, you know that when people are angry they overreact," Ellen answered. "No offence Michael," she said as she looked at him before turning to me, "but look at the way Michael reacted when he was angry last year."

"Or you," Michael added with some annoyance. "You weren't any better Ellen."

"The point is," Ellen said as she shot Michael a look, "is that people do stupid things when they're angry. Denver had all that time to brood about those photos. Denver, and no one else for that matter would ever believe that about you and Ashley. They bring it up as a joke because she's a female friend, but they don't actually believe you two would date."

I wasn't so sure, and I had to wonder why she was getting so defensive about this. Ever since the summer, I'd been noticing things but she'd talked about how she wanted to be with Hank. However, I kind of wondered if she was having the same confused feelings I was having. Barry had told me that could happen with having girls for friends, and I was hoping I was wrong about this. As pretty as she was, I just didn't want Ellen. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and I just couldn't be with someone like her. We had some things like Quidditch in common, but that was it.

"You never know what could happen in the future," I told her just to see how she would react.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ellen demanded.

"It just means that Barry used to say he'd never date Tasha, but now they're together," I said. "Who knows what could or couldn't happen in the future. I just think Michael could be right about Denver. Melanie thought it, and it was the picture of Ashley and me that set him off. We might as well try and get all the facts from this so we can help our friend. At the moment, it's Ashley that matters because she's heartbroken."

"I notice you didn't care this much when Hank and me broke up," Ellen retorted.

"I wrote you almost everyday," I said.

Something was going on with Ellen, and I hoped whatever it was wouldn't last. I didn't want another fight like we'd had in the summer. I saw Michael send a glare at me, and I wondered what that was about. I knew he was still in love with her, but was it because I'd written to her everyday or was is because of Ellen's attitude at the moment? He'd gotten jealous of Ellen and me in the past, and even though he was with Anne, I believed he hoped there was still a chance with her anyway.

"Look, let's just try and get Ashley through this," I said. "I get the feeling she is going to be vulnerable for the next few months. You know how she can be."

"I'll do what I can," Michael said, "but I don't want to abandon Anne either."

"I'm not saying we abandon Anne or Claire but I'm saying we be there for her too," I said.

"Ashley is stronger than you think," Ellen said. "I don't think it will take months. She'll probably get better in a couple of weeks."

Ellen was right about that one. Once Ashley started to come back to classes, we could see her getting better everyday. She started to even hang out with Jared more, and I was surprised about that one. The two of them were friends now, but to me it seemed they were closer than I'd originally thought.

In the meantime, I kept my eye out for opportunities to tell off Denver. It wasn't until about a week and a half later that I finally found him alone. I was on my way back from the library after hanging out with Claire. I found him staring at a statue for some reason, and he looked extremely unhappy.

"How could you really believe that about Ashley?" I asked him as I approached him. "She would never cheat."

"I know she wouldn't cheat," Denver said to me. "You don't see it and neither does she. I'm not putting up with it anymore. I don't want to hear whatever lecture you have either Hoofer, so just back off. I'd just better not hear of you breaking Claire's heart."

"I wouldn't," I said. "Claire and I get along well."

"For now," Denver said. "Ashley and I got along well too."

"Until you ended it," I retorted.

"Look, I am not spelling it out for you Hoofer. I don't want to talk to you at all, so just get lost," he said and with that, he turned on his heel and walked off.

I stared after him. Telling the git off hadn't been as satisfying as I'd hoped. I also didn't understand what he was talking about. Especially when it came to Claire. I would never break her heart. We were getting along just fine. She was what I looked for in a girl. I didn't have to worry about her turning psycho on me.

I was able to start spending more time with her after a while. Ellen had been right about Ashley. She seemed fine after a while. She was at every meal, and she was even hanging out with the other Hufflepuff's. I was glad to see her branching out more. When we'd had our fight, she'd been lonely without us. Most nights we would see her sitting on her own in the common room. Now at nights when I came in after hanging out with Claire, I would find her sitting with either Stan, Hank and Jared or Jess and Erica.

The odd thing was, Ellen was disappearing a lot more as well. No one knew where she was going or why. When I asked Ashley, she gave a small shrug. I figured if anyone knew, she would. Ellen usually told her everything, but this time she didn't even want Ashley to know.

"Maybe she's just practicing Quidditch on her own more," Ashley said to me. "You know she wants to be a professional Quidditch player."

"It's a blizzard out there," I said with amusement.

"Ellen has told us that Quidditch players need to be able to play in all conditions," Ashley said. "You were the one who told me that she's worse than your captain."

That was true enough. She was the one who'd told our captain that we needed to practice even in storms if we wanted to beat the other teams. She was tired of Hufflepuff losing every year. I wasn't even sure when we'd last had a win, but from what I heard it was more than twenty years. Barry told me once he thought it was even more than thirty years. So Ellen was determined that we would win at least once during our time there.

"And speak of the devil," I muttered as Ellen walked over to us with a smile on her face.

"Where have you been hiding this time?" Ashley asked her, but she was smiling. Ellen grinned back.

"I guess it's okay to tell you guys now. Where is Michael?"

"Off with Anne somewhere," Ashley answered.

"It's after curfew though," Ellen said.

"You just got back," I pointed out to her, "but anyway, you were going to tell us something?"

"I'm dating a third year in Ravenclaw," Ellen confessed. "His name is Greg. He's a great, and I think you'll like him Ben. He's kind of nose to the grindstone too, but he's not as intense as you."

"How long have you been dating?" Ashley asked. "I wondered why you kept disappearing. It had to have been right after we came back."

Ellen nodded happily.

"You could move on that quickly?" Ashley asked.

Ellen shrugged. "I stopped liking Hank long before our relationship ended. So it really wasn't hard to meet someone new. I kept having all these boys asking me out remember? Well Greg kept asking me out, and I finally gave in. We wanted to keep it secret for a while. I wanted to make sure it worked out, and I also know how judgmental people are around here. It's like you said Ashley, we started dating so soon after my break up with Hank."

We ended up meeting Greg shortly after that, and I actually thought he was a good guy for her. I believed Michael didn't like him, but I didn't think he would like any bloke that Ellen dated. In my opinion, she picked well and I hoped they would last. Not only did he make sure that she did her school work, but she just seemed a lot more mellow with him. She no longer lost her temper as much as she had.

He got along well with us too. Ashley was still shy when she first met people, but she wasn't with Greg. The two of them had started talking as if they were old friends. He understood how I felt when it came to doing school work as well. He even could tell that Michael still loved Ellen, but it didn't bother him. Most blokes wouldn't be able to handle that. Hank had hated it, and he'd even shown Michael how much it bothered him. Greg was nothing but polite to him, and they even had Defense Against the Dark Arts in common.

I felt that for the first time in a long time that life was good again. Michael and Ellen were in good relationships, Ashley was moving on from Denver and things with Claire was going great. I hated Melanie, but I'd managed to get to the point that I could ignore her. I knew she still stared at me when we were in the common room, and sometimes even in classes, but I was able to pretend that she didn't exist anymore.

My only concern was that Ashley was still too thin. She ate every meal with us, but she didn't eat as much as she should and her cheeks still looked hollowed out. Her robes still just hung off of her. Her and I were still affectionate with each other, and any time I hugged her I could still feel her bones.

One evening, she came over to us after hanging out with Hank, Stan and Jared. She looked a little sad, and I wondered what had happened now. Had Denver tried talking to her? Claire had been hinting that he was going to try and talk to her. I sincerely hoped that she wouldn't fall into his trap again. Maybe he'd apologized and she had hoped they could get back together, but he'd said no.

"So Denver came to apologize to me in the library," Ashley told us. "He wanted us to go for a walk. I didn't want to. He said the same exact thing to me when he broke up with me, so I made him talk to me in the library. I was with Jess, Erica, Stan, Hank and Jared. So I knew it would make it harder for him to have an audience. There were other second years too in there, and obviously they were listening-"

I was hoping she was going to get to the point. At times Ashley could make things drawn out, and she had to add all the details. I didn't care who was all there. I just wanted to know if she'd taken him back or not. Ellen was listening intently, and I was sure she was pleased with all the details. I don't know what it was with girls who wanted to know everything down to what the person was wearing.

"-so I kind of enjoyed making him squirm. He told me he was sorry and that he wanted to get back together. I said no though. I just feel like I am in a better place than I was, and if he can break up with me without giving me a chance than I don't want to be with him. He tried to throw it in my face that I got jealous, but I always listened. I always gave him a chance. I'm not willing to go through all that again."

"Well at least he apologized." Michael said.

"I'm just glad you didn't get back with him," Ellen said. "I was sure he would come to his senses eventually, but I still didn't want the two of you back together."

I was relieved as well. I was also glad it was her who did the rejecting, and now I understood her sadness. I knew she was going to be okay from then on. Now she just needed to eat more and put on some weight.

"Claire told me that he was going to try and apologize but I am glad you rejected him. You've come a long way since the break-up but I don't think you're ready yet. I think you need to be single for a while before you get with anyone," I told her. "I've been really worried about you. You're still far too thin. You're not eating enough."

"Ben it's not done on purpose. I just get full so easily. I don't see the point in stuffing myself either. Madame Pomfrey said I am better then what I was when I first came to see her," she told me.

I knew she had to go and Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey once a week. They sent weekly reports back to her mother. Ashley didn't know it, and I would never tell her, but her mother was also writing to me. I'd written to her first to tell her what had happened, and that we were taking care of her. Ever since, we'd kept in contact. I think her mother liked it coming from me better because I could tell her exactly what was going on. Her teachers couldn't. I was going to tell her mother about this as well. I wanted her to know her daughter was okay because I still worried her mother would pull her out of Hogwarts. If she knew that Ashley was okay, and she had support than she would let her stay.

I was going to continue to monitor her eating, and that meant by telling Ashley the truth.

"I know," I answered. "But you weren't really eating properly even before he broke up with you. Just make sure you take care of yourself. I know we haven't been spending as much time together, but we all still worry about you."

"I think everyone is," she answered him as she glanced over at the boys. "If you three aren't with me, then the other Hufflepuff's are. I guess it's true when they say Hufflepuff's are loyal." Then she glanced over at Melanie and Sarah. "I guess all of us aren't though. I wonder why Melanie was sorted into Hufflepuff. She really hasn't shown any loyalty."

"All I know is I regret getting involved with her," I said as I glanced over at Melanie for the first time in a long time. Of course she was staring at me, but the moment I looked over she looked away. I was sure she must have known we were talking about her since Ashley had looked at her first. "Who would have thought she'd be so crazy. I'd rather date Tara before I dated her again."

All three of my friends knew that was saying something, considering that I would never date Tara either. I saw Ellen grin.

"Speaking of Tara, she has not said a word to me at all," Ashley said. "I'd figure she would make fun of me, or her friends would, and none of the Slytherin girls who don't like me have either."

"No one will be making fun of you," Ellen said. "Us Hufflepuff girls made sure of it, and I know the Andrew twins and some of the other Gryffindor girls threatened them as well. We told everyone just to leave you alone when you had your week off."

"Same with all the guys," Michael added. "We told them if we heard that anyone made you feel bad about it, we would personally make them regret. I doubt any of the guys would say anything though. Most people are on your side, and most people understand break ups are awful. The only people who would make fun of you are the ones who don't like you, but either they don't care enough or we threatened them."

It had actually been more Jared than anyone. No one really cared however. The girls more than anything thought it was funny, but with blokes we almost found it expectant that girls would react that way. So no one really thought it was odd that she'd taken the break up so hard. It was more that guys were bothering Denver more than her. Nathan had even been asking me how she was, and if she was ready to date yet. Nathan was a nice enough person but I still thought she should stay single for a while. So I'd told him no. I was surprised he was even interested, he was a very picky person, and we all knew Ashley wasn't beautiful.

The rest of second term went by smoothly after that. I was disappointed once again when our marks were posted because Tara was still beating me. I sighed as I turned away from the notice board. As I did, I came face to face with Jared.

"You've had a letter," he told me as he handed me an envelope. "It was flying around our dorm when I was packing."

I'd already packed the night before. I never understood why my friends waited for the last minute to pack their stuff. It made life easier just to get it over and done with so we could go to breakfast and then leave. I knew Ashley was currently packing and I wanted her to eat before she left.

"Thanks," I said as I took the letter from him.

I wondered who could possibly be writing to me. It couldn't be Barry or my parents. They would see me that night. So I opened the envelope and pulled the letter out. My heart sank as I read through the letter.

Dear Ben,

I know it's low to be doing this through a letter but I've been trying to do it face to face for a while. I just can't do it so I am going to be a coward and write a letter. I am in love with Morgan, and he is in love with me. We've liked each other for a long time and it's not fair for me to be with you when I love him. It's also not fair to him or me either. It will also make things easier because of Denver as well. I know you might end up hating me for a while, but I did enjoy being with you. I know you'll meet someone else too. I think it's best if we have a clean break before Easter Break.

Claire.

"What's wrong mate, you look upset," Jared said.

"Claire just dumped me through a letter," I told him. "Apparently she wants to be with Morgan."

"That's too bad mate, but is it really that big of a deal. She's not the one you're in love with," Jared said.

"No I wasn't in love with her," I said with a shrug and I really hadn't been. "It's just getting dumped through a letter I guess. I kind of even suspected that about Morgan. I just wish she would have just told me."

"Are you going to be okay?" Jared asked and then he smirked. "You're not going to pull an Ashley are you?"

I smiled back. "No, I'll get over her."

"Seriously mate, you should just be like me when it comes to girls. You're thirteen years old. You don't need to be tied down. I told Ashley the same thing," he told me.

"She doesn't need to be snogging random blokes," I said.

"Why not?" He asked. "Snogging random people can be a stress reliever. I honestly think you should just take a break from dating. Look at Melanie and now Claire. Just have some fun for a while. You don't need the stress of a girl."

I knew he was right, and perhaps I even would. There were plenty of girls who wanted me. I didn't want to date them, but I'd heard from plenty of the blokes that girls enjoyed the randon snogging sessions. Perhaps once third term I could start that. If I did that than maybe my focus wouldn't be on girls and my marks would go up enough to beat Tara.

"Maybe you're right," I told him.

"You know I'm right. When we come back I'll introduce you to some girls. You'll soon realize that being single is much better. Wait for the serious stuff when you're older mate." he told me. "Now lets go. There is this girl in the third year, Olivia. She'll let you do a lot more than snog her, and then there's-"

I smiled as I listened to my friend talk. Perhaps meeting random girls would also stop the confusing thoughts I had about Ashley as well. Jared put an arm around me, and he kept going on as we headed to the Great Hall. From the way he talked, he almost sounded as if he wanted me to be his wingman.

"I'm not being a wingman," I told him with amusement.

"Oh come on, it's not how you're thinking," Jared said. "You'll be useful for some of the more psycho ones."

"That's not convincing," I told him. "You remember Melanie right? Or Tara? If I am going to do this, I just want to have fun. I don't want to have any psycho stalkers. I already have to check my drinks over if Tara is around. I don't need anymore girls obsessed with me. Find some other bloke to be your wingman."

"Well I did want it to be Michael, but he's tied down to Anne. Hank and Stan really aren't on bored with it," Jared answered.

"Well would you want to be?" I asked.

"Depends on the situation, I don't mind helping out a mate if I have to," he said. "If someone needed be to take an ugo or something, I would. It's just snogging after all."

"So if you had to take Maisie over Delilah would you?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"No that's just going too far," Jared answered quickly. "Anyway, all I am saying is I'll help you out if you help me out."

"Well I don't want Tara or Maisie, or any other girls who are similar," I responded. "We'll talk more about this after the holidays. For now, I just want to eat breakfast and get out of here."

I really didn't get the chance to talk to the girls until we were on the train. The mornings that we leave, everyone just ate quickly and then got ready to board the carriages. I didn't even see Ashley in the Great Hall, and I felt irritated with her momentarily. She'd promised me she would eat more. Ellen was off with Greg at the Ravenclaw table. I was assuming he was going to join on the train.

I was actually the first one in our compartment. I was relieved when Ashley joined me next with a bacon and egg sandwich.

"I just put it together quickly and then got on the carriage," she explained when she saw me looking at her sandwich.

"Why weren't you at breakfast?" I asked her. "I don't understand why you always wait until the last minute to pack."

"I packed last night but I just wanted to check over everything today," she answered. "It's not why I was late. Melanie confronted me in the dorms."

"Really?" I asked sitting up intrigued now. "What happened."

"Wait until Ellen gets here," she said. "I don't want to say it twice, and then you can tell us what's bothering you."

"How could you tell-" I began.

"You're easy to read," she answered with a shrug. "I can tell something is bothering you."

"I'll tell Ellen later," I told her not really caring anyway if I told Ellen and Michael right away. They'd know eventually. I could even write to them about it. I didn't want to talk too much about my break up. "She might be sitting with Greg. Claire broke up with me this morning, and she wrote to me to do it. Apparently she's in love with Morgan."

"I'm sorry to hear that Ben. I thought you two were getting along well. She even seemed happy last night," Ashley said.

"I know, that's why it's such a shock," I told her. "I don't even care that much to be honest. I never expected to be with her forever. We got along well, and we had a good relationship but it doesn't bother me. It's just the fact that she did it by a letter. She should have said something last night. Instead, she just does it through a letter and right before the holidays."

"I get what you mean, I wouldn't even do that. If it had been me breaking up with Denver, I'd have trouble doing it but it would be to his face. It's just low what she did. Some bloke did that to mum once. He actually wrote a letter to her, and sent it by the post office," she told me. "Mum wasn't even devastated about the break up. It was more the fact that he'd done it through a letter."

"I don't want to dwell on it," I told her. "I just want to enjoy my holidays. So can you please tell me what happened with Melanie? Who knows if Ellen is going to show up. The train is moving."

"She just started to try and put the blame on me. She said I did it because I like drama and attention. She told me I was pathetic and she even knows it was me who got Moaning Myrtle to haunt her. I just told her off and left. She started to cry when I left. I have to admit, it was really satisfying," Ashley answered.

"You got Moaning Myrtle to haunt her?" I asked incredulously. "How did you manage that?"

"I was in her bathroom after he broke up with me. She saw me crying and I explained to her why. You know she gloats when a student is depressed. When I finally told her everything, she was more than happy to haunt her for me. Even Moaning Myrtle finds it low what she did, and you know how happy she gets when people are depressed," Ashley told me.

I grinned at her, feeling good for the first time since I'd read that letter.

"That's brilliant. I am glad that she is getting what she deserves," I told her.

"Me too. I don't think she'll be bothering me anymore, but if she does, I can take her," Ashley told me with determination. "I'm using this as new beginning for me."

"Me too," I told her. "Starting next term, it's a new beginning for both of us."

We grinned at each other. Ashley leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek. I felt the same swooping feeling I always got, but I ignored it. I knew she was just kissing me as a friend. I was going to take her advice, and seriously let it be a new beginning in the third term.


	4. Realizations

Ashley had grown a lot from that girl she had been in the first year. However, she seemed to be a completely different person as our third term started. I'd noticed that she'd started to branch out to the others in Hufflepuff, but when we got back, she expanded out to the rest of the people in our year. It was nice to see my friend broadening her horizons, but I was scared I'd lose her at the same time. I still saw her as my best friend.

However, that didn't seem to be the case. While Ellen and Michael really didn't join us as much, Ashley and me hung out quite a bit. During our third term, I only really saw Ellen at Quidditch practices or late at night in the common room. Other than that, she spent all of her time with Greg. Michael only joined us sometimes otherwise he was with Anne.

I'd decided to take Jared's advice about snogging random girls. At first it was hard for me to do this, but once I got past the first hurtle, it got easier and I finally understood why he did it. There was something satisfying about a make out session without a commitment. I didn't have to worry about jealousy at all. The girls I kissed knew where they stood. I knew there were some who wanted more, but I made it clear that I wasn't ready to date yet.

Tara knew about my snogging sessions, and she wanted in on it, but I couldn't even kiss her when it was just random. She was just someone I could not be involved with at all. I could tell that this bothered her, and she wouldn't let it go but no matter what, I wasn't going to give in. My cousin Sam was pleased by my attitude.

"I've been telling you all year that this is what you need to do," he told me.

"You're not the only one," I said. "Do you want a reward for it?"

"Touchy are we Benny?" He asked.

"I'm just tired of the 'I told you so's' and all the judgement from people. I wish people would just mind their own business. Either people are happy that I'm snogging girls, or else I am getting people who are telling me that it's morally wrong. I'm just tired of it. What I do with my life is my business and no one elses," I told him.

Sam just grinned at me. "Relax cousin, once you stop caring what people think, you'll be much happier. That's your main problem there. You're taking the right step so far, but now you just need to stop worrying about everyone else. Once you do that, you'll be much happier. You've always been too intense."

I knew he was right. In the past I would have told him that he was too young to know what he was talking about, but that wasn't the case anymore. Sam had always had good advice, and it was time I took it. So from then on, I knew I had to stop caring what anyone, even my own friends thought. Jared and Sam never did, and they were both happy and easy-going. I wanted to be that way too.

So that's what I worked on during the third term. It wasn't easy at first, but after a while I stopped thinking about it all. My third term consisted of making out with random girls, homework and hanging out with Ashley. Most people had told her that she'd changed over the last year or so, but I felt I had too. I think all four of us had. Ellen and Michael most certainly weren't the angry people they had been at the end of last year, or the beginning of the school year.

When the school year ended, I saw that I was very close to being tied to Tara. So obviously it had been girls that had held me back in second year. As summer began that year, I decided even if I really liked a girl that I wouldn't let her distract me. Claire had always been good about school work, but obviously it wasn't the only thing we had done. When we'd dated, I hadn't put as much effort in it as I should have. I wasn't sure if I'd get into another relationship or not, but if I did, things would be different that time.

That summer, my friends and I decided to get together on certain weekends as well as for a week. It was Ashley who suggested it to us on the train on the ride home. She mentioned that she'd missed us too much, and she got bored when it was just little kids that she hung out with. Ellen was all for it since she didn't know anyone in her apartment building, and all she had was Timmy. Michael told us we could get together as much as we wanted.

"I plan to work as much as I can so I don't have to be at home as much, and if I can get away from the house on weekends, it works for me," he'd informed us. "Jared has already told me that I can go to his place on weekends too."

"Well you can come over anytime you need to," I'd reminded him.

I'd already told him that even if he needed to stay the summer at my place he could. Michael wasn't as moody as he had been the year before, but we could all see him getting depressed. I'd told him a week before term ended that if he really needed to, he could stay at my place, but he'd turned it down because he wanted to work for the summer, and he didn't like taking hand outs.

"Mum told me to tell you the same thing," Ashley had spoke up. "I've told you that she knows you aren't in a good home, and she said if you need somewhere else to stay, you're always welcome. It wasn't me who told her."

"I know it wasn't you," Michael had assured her. "Your mum and I had a good talk over the Easter holidays. She's also written to me a few times. It's just your mum is a single mother. I don't feel right staying with someone who is already trying to make ends meet with two kids."

"Actually, now that I'm at Hogwarts, she doesn't spend as much. Besides, she has a good job now. Anyway Michael, the door is always open. Just remember that if you need a place to stay."

"I will," he'd answered with a shrug. Two years later he wouldn't take that advice, but more on that later.

So Michael ended up spending a lot of weekends at my place, or Jareds that summer. He only went to Ashley's if she invited us over for the weekend. For the most part, we ended up taking it in turns whose place we would stay at. I liked this a lot better than just seeing each other at the end of the summer, and I hoped we'd keep it up. I couldn't wait for the day when we could travel on our own. Sometimes we either had one of my siblings side a long us, or Ellen's mother would drive us around.

What was worrying for me was Michael's drinking. Sometimes on weekends, we'd have some drinks while we hung out or even played poker, all except Ashley who still stuck to butterbeer. Michael had many drinks while we hung out. Ellen and I would stick to some drinks. By that point, I'd already experienced what it was like to be drunk. I'd been hungover after our end of the year party. Ellen had been drunk a few times too, but Michael seemed as if he always wanted to be drunk.

He'd also started to turn into a prat when he drank. He'd stopped making fun of Ashley months ago, but it came out of him when he was drunk. It wasn't just her, but all of us. He liked bugging her about being a buzz kill because she wouldn't get drunk. One Saturday evening, Ashley and Michael came over for the night. Ellen hadn't been allowed to come over because she was grounded. Apparently she got in a fight with Timmy, and she'd hit him. I was inside, working on refreshments when I heard loud shouts coming from the patio.

Barry who was visiting with Tasha rushed into the kitchen to see what was going on.

"I don't know," I said. "Michael is probably being a prat to Ashley again."

"Why are you still friends with him?" he asked me.

"Because he's changed. He only gets like this when he is drunk," I told him.

"Why is he always getting so drunk anyway? I don't care that you two drink sometimes, I know I wasn't exactly innocent at that age, but the bloke gets drunk all the time. His parents are alcoholics, he shouldn't be drinking like that," Barry said.

"I know," I said as more shouts came from the patio.

"We'd better go see what is going on now," Barry said with irritation.

I stopped what I was doing, and we walked out to see Ashley trying to pull a very drunk Michael from the pool. I knew he'd been getting drunk, but it seemed he was even worse in the fifteen minutes or so since I'd left. He was yelling at her to let him go.

"Gosh you're such a buzz kill Ashley! No wonder Denver dumped you," he yelled.

"Michael, I just don't want you swimming when you're so drunk!" She yelled back.

"I'm not drunk!" Michael yelled.

He managed to pull out of her grip, and turned to run to the pool but with a wave of his wand, Barry stopped him. I'd never seen the spell before, but Michael seemed to be pulled upside down by his foot. He was hanging upside down in mid air as if there was a rope around his ankle or something. Michael began yelling and swearing.

"What spell is that one?" I asked impressed.

"I don't know if it's approved," Barry said with a shrug. "Harry Potter used it on Ron years ago by accident. When people found out, they wanted to know how he did it. I don't think it's illegal, but I'd never heard of it until Harry had used it."

"Well it can't be a dark one if Harry used it," Ashley said as she approached us. "But thanks. He told me we should go swimming, but I could tell it wasn't a good idea. We got in a fight about it, and then he decided to run to the pool anyway."

Barry approached Michael whose face was turning red now.

"I'll let you down, but when I do, you are going to sit down at the table, and you're going to sober up," he said. "I don't care if you drink sometimes, but this is ridiculous. You're going down a bad road mate. You don't need to be drunk all the time," Barry told him. "Now if you'll promise that you'll stop being a git than I will let you down."

"I want to go swimming!" Michael shouted.

"Not when you're drunk!" Barry responded. "Maybe I should just let you down and take you home."

"You're as much of a buzz kill as Ashley," Michael told him. "Fine, I'll be a good little boy and just drink tea."

"Good," Barry said ignoring the buzz kill comment. He waved his wand again and Michael crashed down to the ground. I could tell that it hurt, and that he was embarrased. Michael sent a glare at Ashley and then walked over to the table.

In the past, she would have just taken it, but she followed him furiously. She grabbed his arm and turned him around.

"I only stopped you because I didn't want you to drown," she told him. "So be angry with me if you want, but I don't want anything to happen to you. I stand by what I did. You can call me a prude, a buzz kill or whatever else but I am not going to regret that I stopped my friend from drowning."

"Whatever," Michael said. He pulled out of her grip, and sat down furiously.

Ashley looked back at Barry and me and gave a small shrug before she sat down beside him. She grabbed a water bottle from the cooler we had outside and handed it to him. He glared at her again before he grabbed it.

"You can't let him get that drunk here anymore," Barry told me.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow," I told him. "Now tell me what spell that was."

"It's levi-corpus and it's non verbal," Barry answered.

It sounded like a neat spell. It was something I'd have to remember to use in the future. If Michael remembered, I knew he'd be asking what it was. He was the best dueller in our year, and I was sure he'd want to know that one.

Of course he apologized to us the next day, but he always did.

Third year started, and with it the excitement of new classes and Hogsmeade weekends. Anyone third year or older was allowed to go to Hogsmeade on certain weekends. I couldn't wait to go. I could imagine the four of us hanging out down there. We could go to Honey Dukes and get butterbeers from The Three Broomsticks. We could go to the Hogshead too. There was also the Shrieking Shack as well. It was apparently one of the most haunted dwelling in Britain.

Things didn't end up going that way though. Ellen and Greg had broken up at the end of second year. I was actually as disappointed as she was when they ended it. He'd been a good bloke for her. Ellen had moved on quickly over the summer though, and within the first week, she was already with Devon Smith from Gryffindor. I didn't think the girl could handle being single for long. From what she told us, she'd been dating some boys from her apartment building.

Things changed for me as well. Nicole Letson and I had been snogging mates since the end of second year. In third year, we picked up where we left off. She was a gorgeous girl. She long blond hair, and she seemed as if she were always tanned, even in the winter. I would later learn that she used fake tanning products for the winter. A girl being tanned wasn't something I looked for, but it just looked good on her. A lot of people said the Andrew twins or Ellen were the prettiest in our year, but I thought Nicole actually was.

So when she told me that she wanted more than snogging, I was all for it. I'd learned my lesson about just going for looks, and it was certainly not the only reason I went for Nicole, but it was definitely a bonus. She was also one of the smartest in Gryffindor. She could be in the running for prefect or even Head Girl. She didn't have psycho tendencies and she had no issues with Ashley or Ellen. She knew I hung out with two girls, and she thought it was amazing that I didn't have feelings for either one.

"A lot of people can't hang be friends with the other gender without falling for them," she told me.

I didn't count my confused feelings that I still felt for Ashley as true feelings. I believed they had to be affection for my best friend, and nothing else.

"They're like my sisters," I told her

Like Claire, it was basically just an instant couple. I could tell Ashley was a little upset by this because she was the only single one again, but she was still hanging out with other people, so I knew she'd get over it. Last year I hadn't wanted her to date, but in a way I did now. We all tried setting her up with people, but the problem was, as much she'd grown, she still had those insecurities. She believed that boys just pitied her when they hung out with her.

Ted from Ravenclaw kept asking Ellen and me about her, but he was one person I didn't think she should connect with. I thought about Nathan from Gryffindor. I figured he'd be fine for her to date, but I wondered if he was still even interested in her. So I approached him shortly before we were supposed to have our first Hogsmeade weekend. So far she was going to end up going on her own since the rest of us had dates.

"I like someone else now," Nathan told me when I approached him. "I did like her, and I still think she's a nice girl, but I'd really like to go out with Jillian. She's a fourth year in Ravenclaw. I think I am going to ask her out. If things don't work out for her, perhaps I'll ask her out for the next Hogsmeade weekend. I don't think she's over Denver anyway."

"I can take her," Jared told me later on when I confessed that I felt bad for her.

"I don't want her to think people are taking her out of pity though," I told him.

"It wouldn't be out of pity," Jared informed me. "Ashley and I have become friends. It would be two friends hanging out in Hogsmeade."

"No, I'm sure she'll figure something out," I told him.

I wasn't sure why, but I didn't want him taking her. I couldn't explain it, but I felt jealous of their friendship. He was affectionate with her quite a bit, and it always irritated me to see it. I knew they were just friends, and Jared would never go for her but I hated it. I decided I would never tell her in case she took it the wrong way.

Nicole and I ended up having a good time that day in Hogsmeade. She was easy to talk to, and I barely ever thought about Claire or Melanie anymore. At first when I had seen Claire with Morgan, it had hurt but now I simply didn't care. We even talked now. Nicole didn't even care that I talked to Claire. She was just that amazing. She was exactly what I looked for in a girl, and she didn't distract me at all. She was also very smart in Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

I felt bad for Ashley, because she'd ended up spending the day alone there and she'd come back to the castle earlier. I figured maybe we could have our dates and then all of us could meet up later that way she wouldn't always be lonely. In the meantime, I was going to ask single people to hang out with her.

One problem I ran into as time went on with Nicole was Ellen. I could tell Ellen didn't like her, but she tolerated her. I still wondered at times if Ellen wanted me, even though she was with Devon. She often said or did things that made me believe she did. Nicole and Ellen had gotten along before we'd dated. It wasn't just Ellen though, Nicole was slowly getting jealous of Ellen. What I had liked about her the in the beginning was slowly beginning to change.

"I've told you I have no interest in Ellen," I told her. "She's my friend and she is with Devon anyway."

"But I think she wants you," Nicole told me.

"Well she doesn't, but it wouldn't matter if she did since I am with you," I told her. "You're not going to pull a Melanie on me are you?"

That ended up being one of first of many fights. She was furious that I would even dare compare her to Melanie. I knew it was insulting, but I didn't want someone who was going to give me an ultimatum. Ellen or Ashley would always come before any girlfriend that I was with. We ended up going a few days without talking to each other, but then she came to apologize for getting jealous, and so I apologized for comparing her to Melanie.

After that though, the fights kept happening, and they were always about Ellen. Ashley only came up once, but most of the time it was about Ellen's crush on me. I was suspicious about her too, but it didn't mean anything. Plenty of girls were interested in me and yet it was Nicole I had chosen. Sure Ellen was my friend, but she still had nothing to worry about.

By the time Christmas came around, I was fed up with it. I couldn't take much more of her jealousy, and so I finally ended it with her. I could feel an ultimatum coming up, and I wasn't going to let it get to that point. Of course Nicole felt the need to spread rumours about me, but I didn't care by that point. The people at Hogwarts would find something new to gossip about soon enough, and I doubted they cared that much anyway. Most girls were happy I was single again.

Jared was the most happy about this, he'd been upset about me getting into a relationship. Apparently Hank and Stan still weren't good 'wingmen' to him. I wasn't sure how I was one to him. I refused to take any psycho girls, but perhaps it was because I wasn't as picky about looks as he could be. I only said no to the overweight girls.

"You're just snogging," Ashley said to me once. "Why does it matter if they're overweight or pretty or whatever?"

"I just don't want to snog an overweight girl," I told her. "I know it's nothing serious, but I still have my standards. I can't explain it. Would you snog a guy you weren't attracted to?"

"I can't afford to be judgmental about looks, but I don't randomly snog blokes around the castle either," she answered me. "But if I did? It wouldn't matter to me."

"Okay, what about Matt Neano?" I asked as I thought about the stinky overweight and pimply Slytherin.

"No," Ashley answered quickly. "That's not fair, he wouldn't be a bad looking bloke if he cleaned himself up."

"True enough," I told her, "but you seem to have it in your head that you're not going to meet someone else. What if you're right, and he is the one for you?"

"No," she said firmly. "You can't use him like that. I'd just stay single forever."

"Well then you can't judge me," I told her.

"I'm not judging, I'm just shocked that you care so much about looks when it comes to just snogging," she answered. "I mean, what if you got the opportunity to snog Jaime?"

"Nope," I told her quickly. "It's not just the weight, I just don't even like her. No offence, but your sister just irritates me. Look, why are we even having this discussion? I have a feeling it's going to lead to a fight."

"You've had the same conversation with the boys," Ashley answered with a shrug. "I didn't think we were going to fight. I was just curious that's all."

"The day you snog Matt Neano is the day I'll snog an overweight girl," I said.

"I get to pick her then," Ashley said with a smirk. "I think it should be Maisie from Slytherin."

"Maisie isn't overweight," I pointed out. "She's scrawnier than you."

"I know, but I know you'd never snog her either," Ashley answered. "She's unhygienic just like Matt Neano. I don't care about his weight. I'd never date an overweight bloke but we're talking about just for snogging purposes here anyway. Maisie and Matt are on the same level when it comes to hygiene."

"Fine," I said. "If I ever snog Maisie, than you have to snog Matt."

"Deal," she said.

Luckily that was something we both knew wouldn't happen. I was glad that she'd managed to turn what I thought would be an argument into something fun. It was one of the things that I liked about her. I grinned at her as she smiled and waved at a few first year girls who gave her a small wave. Ashley had decided to introduce herself to the first years that year. She'd told us that she was tired of them jumping anytime they saw her, so she let them who she was after a while. I thought that showed prefect material right there. If she kept working on her school work, and helped the younger kids, she'd likely beat Melanie and Sarah out of the running. The other four girls would never be prefects. Jess, Anne and Erica just simply didn't care about things like that, and Ellen just never would nor did she want to actually be one. She always made fun of me for wanting to be one.

"You know you're going to end up a prefect if you keep that up," I told her.

Ashley shrugged. "It's not why I am doing it. I just want them to be comfortable here. We're two- well, for a lot of them we are three years older, and they are nervous around us. I remember being a scared first year around the older students, and for some reason the older ones liked it. I don't want to be an older student that the kids fear. I would have liked it if the older students were nicer to us. So if I can help them out, then I will. I'm going to do it every year, and not just with our Hufflepuff's but with the other houses too."

It was really something I should have been doing too. I knew how impressed the teachers would be with that. My siblings had told me that the prefects even watched the younger students to see who showed potential. Usually the Head of Houses asked the prefects and the Head students who they would recommend for prefects or the new Head students. I did help the younger students with their homework when I could. Besides, I was the only bloke in Hufflepuff with high marks. The others had decent enough marks, but they weren't even in the top ten. So I wasn't too worried about that.

I was more worried about being in the running for Head Boy more than anything. There were three other blokes who could beat me out of it. Ted, Aaron and Nathan. We were still third year though, and there was still plenty of time for me to prove myself. I was worried I'd end up working with Tara, who still wanted me. I worried that she'd try something while we worked together.

She still tried getting with me. She'd been dating some bloke in the fourth year until she found out that Nicole and me were broken up, and then just like after Melanie, she tried getting with me again. I didn't even listen to her speech that time about how we were meant to be together, I just walked off in the middle of what she was saying. I didn't understand why the girl couldn't get the hint.

There were girls out there who wanted me, but I also pursued others as well. If the girls rejected me, I didn't try again. I just moved onto the next one. Maybe it was because there was no one in particular that I was obsessed with. There were girls I was interested in, but I never understood the obsession people had with certain ones. What about Ashley? A voice that sounded a lot like Sam asked in my head as I thought that.

No, it's not the same thing. She's my friend and I care about her. I am not obsessed with her.

Maybe it's not the level of obsession the others have, but you think about her all the time.

She's my friend, that's why I think about her a lot.

Why don't you think about Ellen the same way then?

Ellen is my friend, but she's not my best friend.

Keep telling yourself that mate.

"You're wrong!" I said.

"No I am not. I know my Quidditch strategies Ben," Ellen told me. "I've been reading up on Quidditch ever since dad took me to my first game. Our captain is useless. I don't know why you seem so defensive about it anyway."

"Wait what?" I asked.

I'd been alone before I'd lost myself in my thoughts. I hadn't noticed Ellen join me. I didn't know how long she'd been sitting there and talking to me. We were in the common room, and it was a rare occurrence for her to even join me or Ashley at times. Often she complained that Ashley never hung out with her anymore, but it was because Ellen was always off with Devon. I couldn't even the last time the four of us had actually sat together to hang out. It was usually just Ashley and me. If the four of us did get together, usually Michael brought Anne and Ellen brought Devon but it was never just the four of us.

"Didn't you hear a word that I just said?" Ellen asked. "What were you thinking about?"

"Tara, she's obsessed with me," I answered. "Ever since I broke up with Nicole, she's been trying to get with me again. She would even take the random snogging."

"Please tell me you'll never snog Tara," Ellen said.

"No," I told her. "Anyway, tell me again what you were saying about Quidditch. If it can help us win, then we should try it. I know you do know your strategies. I'm sorry, I've just been distracted lately."

"I thought you told us that you weren't going to let girls distract you this year," Ellen said. "I thought that was the whole point to snogging all those girls. You've been distracted ever since you dumped her. It seems it's only Ashley that you will talk to lately. The two of you seem tight, but you never seem to be around Michael or me anymore."

"Because you two are always off with Devon and Anne. We're not the ones abandoning you, it's the other way around. I get it when you get in a relationship that you want to be with them. I felt the same way with my girlfriends. I'm just saying you can't blame it on us," I told her.

"But even when you were dating those girls, it was always Ashley first," Ellen said. "You didn't make time for any of us when you were with Melanie, but that's understandable considering how psycho she was. But with Claire and Nicole, it was always Ashley you hung out with."

"I never told you the reason that Nicole and I broke up," I told her. "But it was because of you. I mean, it's not your fault but it was her jealousy over you. So don't think for a moment that I don't think about you. I don't understand this insecurity anyway. It's not a competition between friends."

"Don't worry about it," Ellen said sadly. "But thanks for that."

"So, let's just talk Quidditch," I said. "Tell me what it was that you told me. I'll listen this time."

As time went on, some of the girls I snogged wanted more like Nicole had, but I didn't want another girlfriend at the moment. I was happy with being single again, and I was worried I'd end up having another girl who would get jealous about Ashley or Ellen. It was irritating beyond words because all of these girls knew that I was friends with two girls.

Often I would write to Barry complaining about this, but he would just tell me that I should expect it. He no longer had helpful advice about what to do with the jealous girls. He would just tell me the same thing. I suppose I knew he was right, but I was hoping for something better than 'it's going to keep happening, little brother, so just find a better girlfriend.'

Jared was right though. I was fourteen years old, and I didn't need a girlfriend. Ellen was also right. I had said that I wouldn't let girls distract me, and Nicole, Tara and some of the other girls were doing that.

So I spent the rest of third year being a better friend, working harder on my school work, and putting more effort into Quidditch. I didn't even have Sam to really talk to anymore. He'd warned me about Nicole, but I hadn't listened. It had caused a big fight between us, and he'd told me to talk to him again when I smartened up. It had been a long time since we'd really talked, and oddly enough, I didn't miss him as much as I should have. Perhaps it was because ever since I'd started Hogwarts, we'd grown apart. I had different friends now, and so did he. It was kind of depressing that could happen. We'd been all each other really had as kids since we were the closest in age with our cousins.

By the time Easter break rolled around, I had managed to bring my marks back up again, and surprisingly my Quidditch skills had improved. I'd always been good at it, but Ellen insisted that we worked harder together. We had our practices together. She tried to convince Ashley to be our Keeper sometimes. Ashley was good at flying, but she was scared to take her hands off the broom. At times she would join us for this, but the problem was that we couldn't improve with a mediocre Keeper.

On the train ride home, it was to find Ellen in tears.

"What's going on?" I asked Ashley when Ellen wouldn't answered. Ashley just shrugged.

"I can't get it out of her, but something terrible must have happened," she said worriedly. "She got a letter at breakfast. I didn't get the chance to read it because she burnt it. She's been crying ever since."

"Devon broke up with me," Ellen said, "and through a letter, just like Claire did last year to you Ben! He actually got that idea from me when I told him about you."

"Did he say why?" Ashley asked. "I thought you two were good. I mean, only two weeks ago you told me he seemed obsessed with you."

"Ben and Michael," Ellen answered and it didn't need anymore explanation than that. "We're always going to run into these problems, aren't we?" She added.

"Until you meet the one," Ashley said. "You're thirteen. Devon wasn't the one you were meant to be with. You know, I used to get annoyed with Rachel for saying that to me, but I get it now."

"So do I," I said. "And I hate to admit it, but Barry is right too."

"So we'll just all agree to be single for at least the rest of third year," Ellen said as she wiped away tears. "We'll see if anything changes next year when we're fourth years. For now, we should enjoy each others companies. If Michael and Anne break up again, we'll get him to agree to the same thing. The four of us haven't hung out in so long."

"I agree," I said. "I already made that promise to myself anyway, but we can call it a pact."

"I don't think I need to make that pact, no boys are interested anyway but sure," Ashley said.

"Always the insecurities," I said.

"There are plenty of blokes interested in you," Ellen agreed.

"Sure," Ashley said. "Anyway, lets just agree that at least the three of us will be single."

We spent the rest of the train ride working on cheering up Ellen. It was hard to believe that a year ago it was Ashley and then eventually Ellen and Greg who were trying to cheer me up. After a while, Hank, Stan and Jared joined us well. Hank seemed to have forgotten about anything that went on between him and her. I knew at times he still held some resentment for her even if they talked a lot more. However, he had no problem hugging her while she began to weep again.

Ashley excused herself after this. I had a feeling she was going off to talk to Devon. She'd given me a significant look before she'd left. She'd gone and talked to Claire behind my back the year before. At first I'd been angry with her for it, but I realized she meant well. Breaking up through a letter was a low blow and cowardly, and even though Claire and I talked now I had resented her for a while for it.

I hoped Ashley was telling Devon off for it. She was a different person than she used to be, and I could imagine that's what she was doing. Jess, Anne and Erica joined us after a while as well. The compartment was crowded by that point, and there would be no seat for Ashley. I smiled as I thought about the fact that she could sit on my lap when she returned. I loved when she sat on me. I still remembered how I'd felt the first time she had done it, and I still felt that same way when she did it now.

So I looked forward to when she would return. When she did, she scanned the compartment for a seat. To my disappointment, Jared noticed her first. He was sitting beside the door, and before I could say anything, he grabbed a hold of her arm and pulled her down on him.

"Looks like you'll just have to settle on my lap," he told her with a wink.

Even though they got along now, and they had for a long time, sometimes it still seemed weird when he flirted with her. I also felt furious, and I tried to push the anger away. I didn't know why it brought so much anger, but it did. I could hold her on my lap anytime I wanted, and Jared was the one closest to her. So there was no reason for me to be upset.

"Are you okay mate?" Stan asked. "You're face is red."

"I'm fine," I answered. "I'm just angry about Devon that's all."

"Well I told him off," Ashley spoke up. "It wasn't hard to find him. He tried to blame it on Ellen. He brought up some nonsense about Michael being in love with her, and that she's in love with you. These people can be so delusional sometimes."

"You told him off?" Ellen asked and she looked angry. "Ashley, sometimes you need to learn to keep out of things."

"Why?" Jared spoke up. "I think he deserves a telling off. He broke up with you in such a cowardly way."

"You can be angry if you want," Ashley told Ellen, "but Jared's right. He needed to be told off, and even his friends agree. They started yelling at him too."

"You did the same thing to Ben last year," Ellen said not backing down. "I know you mean well, but sometimes you just need to butt out."

Ashley just shrugged but didn't say anything else. She didn't look the least bit sorry, and I was sure she knew that eventually Ellen would forgive her. I glanced over at her and tried to hide my fury again, Jared was rubbing her arm and whispering to her. The moment seemed to intimate to me. I stood up abruptly, and left the compartment quickly after muttering "bathroom."

I couldn't understand where the anger was coming from. I just needed a walk. I hoped when I returned that everyone would be gone. As I went through the corridors, I found Brianne with her friends. Often I didn't join her when we were at school. I couldn't stand how silly her friends were, but at the moment I could handle their ditziness. It was better than being back in our compartment.

"Why do you look so upset?" Brianne asked as I sat down. "Are you fighting with your friends again?"

"No," I said. "I just needed to get out of that compartment. It was too crowded and Ashley and Jared-" I paused because I didn't want to get into that. "It was just too crowded in there."

"So you came to find us?" Hilda said as she smiled at me. "You've grown a lot since I really looked at you. You're just a young Barry now."

"Hilda," Brianne said sounding irritated now.

"Oh come on, I always had a big crush on Barry but of course he was in love with Tasha. Ben's single, and he's only two years younger," she answered with a shrug. She leaned over to me and I was overpowered by her strong perfume. "I know you like to snog random girls in the corridors. I am single if you ever need a snog mate," she whispered.

I couldn't help but my curious about her. She was beautiful and older too. I didn't think a sixteen year old girl would ever look at me. I glanced at Brianne who looked furious. Her face was slowly turning red and I imagined that was how I had looked back in the compartment. Hilda looked at Brianne and moved away from me quickly.

"Relax Brianne, you have steam coming out of your ears," she said. "He's not that little boy anymore."

"Stay. Away. From. My. Brother!" She told her through gritted teeth. "I don't want you getting your dirty paws all over him."

"I think I am going to go back to my compartment," I said. "This is even more awkward than before."

But I didn't go back to the compartment. I didn't think I'd been gone long enough for them to have all left, so I just wandered the corridors until I found an empty one. The train wasn't always full during the Easter holidays, so it wasn't hard to find a compartment to yourself if you really wanted to. So I entered the compartment, shut the door and pulled down the shade before I sat down to enjoy some alone time. I knew I'd have to return eventually, but for the time being, I wanted to be alone.

I was relieved when I got home later on. I went straight up to my room to lay down on my bed. By the time I'd returned, everyone had gone and the girls had been worried. Ellen seemed to have forgotten about her anger with Ashley. The two had been busy discussing me and where I was. I lied to ease their stress by saying I'd just sat with Brianne for a while.

I wanted the thoughts I had about Ashley out of my head. I'd been doing fine until I'd seen her sitting on Jared. I didn't get why I had to keep thinking about her like that. As mean as I had been in our first year, I wanted those thoughts back. As I laid in my bed that evening, I tried my best to think of her as the one I'd seen as a joke, but I just couldn't do it. I just wanted these confusing feelings gone, and gone for good.

Sighing, I got up and went over to my desk to grab a sheet of parchment. I was going to write down everything that irritated me about her. I figured I'd have a long list, but I could only come up with a few things, and none of those were major things. I could write a list longer about Michael and Ellen. Frustrated, I threw the parchment in my gulping trashcan and decided to do homework instead. I could always distract myself with that, especially with Arithmancy.

I invited the girls to my place for a weekend during the holidays. By the point, Ellen seemed to be in a better mood than she had been. She had even moved on from Devon. She told us about some cute boy in her building that she'd spent the week snogging.

"I'm taking a Jared and Ben attitude," Ellen said. "We didn't say anything against snogging random people."

"Good for you," I said. "No need to be hung up on him."

"You should take that attitude too Ashley," Ellen told her. "It is a lot of fun."

"No," I said quickly.

"Why not?" Ellen asked with amusement. "You do it too."

"I just don't think we should pressure her to do something that she doesn't want to do," I said. "We all know that she doesn't want to snog random blokes."

"I doubt they'd want to anyway," Ashley answered.

"Insecurity!" Ellen sang out.

"Look, it's easy for you because so many blokes want to be with you, but they aren't interested in me," Ashley said. "Maybe you're right about a few blokes. Who knows. But neither one of you get it because you have a line up of girls or boys who want you. They all tell you that they want you. Blokes don't tell me that. So you can both keep telling me that I am insecure, and that there are boys who like me but they need to speak up. I've had boys take me to Hogsmeade, but it's never been past one date."

"But you're still only fourteen," Ellen told her. "Even if they don't tell you, you still think that Denver is going to be you're only boyfriend."

"Look, it's supposed to be a fun visit," Ashley said. "We've talked about this enough. There is no point in bringing it up again. I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. So let's just have fun."

And we did have fun. As bad as Michael could be sometimes, we always did miss him when we got together on the Christmas or Easter holidays. I'd tried to convince him to try and see if he could leave Hogwarts for a weekend, but he'd told us no. He told me that it was enough of an inconvenience at New Years.

Brianne gave the girls their usual makeovers. While they did this, I tried to set up the old cots but I had trouble that time. My parents weren't around to use magic and I didn't want to ask Brenda. I almost considered letting one of the girls sleep in Barry's old room. When they entered me to find my struggling, they tried to help as well.

"Dad usually sets these up for me," I explained. "They're old and usually you have to use magic to set them up. I don't want to ask Brenda."

"Don't worry about it," Ashley said. "One of us will just share a bed. Unless you don't want to share a bed with a girl," she added to me with a wink.

Ellen looked up hopeful, and I didn't like the look I saw on her face. Before she could say anything, I looked at Ashley.

"Well since you suggested it, I guess you're stuck with me," I told her.

I felt bad when I saw the disappointment appear on Ellen's face. She shot a rare glare at Ashley but looked away. Moments later she looked back at us again, but she wore a smile on her. I could tell it was fake but I wasn't going to dwell on it. Perhaps I should have just suggested that the girls share a bed and I take one myself. I wasn't sure how mum would react when she saw Ashley and me in the same bed. I didn't want to take it back though, because the idea of sharing a bed with her intrigued me, so I kept my mouth shut.

Despite that small hitch, we had fun together. At night it was a little hard for me being in the same bed as the girl I had confusing thoughts for, but I pushed those thoughts away. I just closed my eyes and put my thoughts on Arithmancy equations. I'd started to found that really helped me when it came to those thoughts. So anytime I started to have confusing thoughts about her thereafter, I would recite Arithmancy equations. This not only pushed her from my mind, but it helped me in class as well.

After that, my friends would joke about my obsession with Arithmancy. They would find me working on it more out of the rest of my subjects. It was always one of my favourite classes as it was, so I also knew that it didn't seem odd to my friends either.

During third term, I saw Ellen with many different boys. I even once saw her with Ted from Ravenclaw and I didn't think she'd ever want to kiss him. When I asked her about it, she just gave a small shrug.

"He's an arrogant git but he's cute. We don't have to talk when we snog," she told me. "I don't know how much longer I am going to snog him though. The conversation always goes back to Ashley and I am sick of it."

"What was that tone about?" I asked her. "You're not still upset with her about telling Devon off are you?"

"No, we talked about that," Ellen said. "I can't really get upset about that. Look how many of us told Denver off. I even slapped him for it. No I'm not upset with her at all."

"So what's the problem?" I asked. "There was definitely a tone there."

"Just the way she looks at herself sometimes," Ellen admitted. "It's so frustrating. She always goes into her insecurities but there are boys who want her. Sometimes I think even Jared wants her. She's so much better than she was in our first year. She's my best friend too, so I hate bad mouthing her. It's just sometimes she can fall back into that annoying self-pity she gets into. She keeps going on about how boys don't like her, but they do. All those boys that she went out with are ones I helped set her up with. It's because they wanted to be with her, but she still has that insecurity and it's why the dates never work. I've told her so many bloody times that insecurity is a turn off to boys, but she doesn't listen."

"Well as frustrating as it can be, a lot of people don't help with that," I told her. "Especially Michael and me when in first year. Look how much we insulted her! We stopped- well Michael still does it when he's drunk, but he tries his best not to. It's other people though. So many people keep insulting her looks. We need to keep telling her that she looks good. She knows she isn't beautiful, but she can look good. When she dresses up, I feel that we should tell her as much as we can that she looks great and not just us, but other people. Why do think Jared is constantly complimenting her? It's because he wants to make up for the past."

"I always tell Ashley that she looks good," Ellen said. "But we can't just do it when she dresses up Ben. She'll think she can only look good if she goes all out. She needs to be told she looks good even when she has messy hair, dirt on her face, and her robes are ripped after a Herbology lesson."

"But she does look good like that," I said as I thought about it.

Ashley always seemed to manage to get so dirty after our Herbology lessons. Ellen, who was good at it always looked perfect after a lesson. The rest of us usually needed a good wash, but for some reason, Ashley seemed to look as if she'd been in battle with the plants. Somehow she always managed to get her face extremely dirty. She wore the same ripped robes to the class because she knew what would happen. She'd been wearing them since she'd gotten into a fight with the Venomous Tentacula.

"Fair enough," Ellen said. "She does look cute when you think about it. Anyway, that's the point Ben. It's as you said, we all need to try and compliment her. She's good for the most part, but it's not healthy for her to feel that she can never be in a relationship again. Sometimes I still don't think shes over Denver even though she says she is. We all agreed that we're going to stay single for third year, but I think next year we need to help her more."

"Well we need to get her past those insecurities first," I told her. "We need to help her ignore the ones who don't care about her, and listen to the ones who do. So then that way you won't feel resentment for her insecurities anymore."

"I know it sounds bad, and I don't even like Ted but it's just annoying how some of the blokes I kiss ask about her because they want her, and then she moans about how boys don't like her. Jared and I have snogged a few times, and he talks about her so much. It makes me think he does want her, even though he tells everyone he is picky and he has high standards. It's why I wish she'd realize that looks aren't everything. One of the boys I do like likes her, well at least sometimes I think he does. I just worry he'll pick her over me. It's that competitive side of me that I have, and I just would hate to lose to a girl not as pretty," Ellen said and then she shook her head. "I know that sounds so incredibly shallow."

"It is extremely shallow," I answered honestly, "but I always knew that about you anyway. I've always known that you hate losing to another girl, and not the rejection itself."

"I've never been rejected," Ellen answered with a smile. "Not yet anyway, but sometimes I feel that way when blokes talk about her, or really any girl."

"But Ellen, if a bloke ever does pick her over you, I hope you won't do anything stupid," I said. "It's just; you will always have no problem finding someone. She always will because of her insecurities or because certain blokes won't take the time to get to know her. When someone does like her, he'll truly like her for her. So you'll be ruining something for her and the guy as well."

"I know," Ellen sighed and then she looked a little sad. "See, that's another part of her that bothers me. Boys only like me for how pretty I am. Boys liked Ted, or even Jared if I am right about him, like her for her. So they'll always like her, but for me they just want the opportunity for snogging... or well more."

"Or more..." I said slowly and I hoped she wasn't saying what I thought she was saying. She was only thirteen. She didn't need to be having sex yet. "Please tell me you haven't."

"No," Ellen said. "But you know eventually it will come to that, and I know that some boys will just want me for shagging, just like right now they just want me for snogging. It might happen to Ashley sometimes from the more hornier boys but for the most part it's because the boy is her boyfriend and he wants sex with his girlfriend."

"Sounds like you're insecure yourself and about Ashley. I never thought that would happen," I said.

"Well it's as we've both said, we know looks don't matter," Ellen said.

"Not about that," I said. "It's just you've always been confident, and you've loved holding that over her head. I've heard some of the things you've said to her. So I am just surprised to see you get insecure about her."

"I'm not always as confident as I let on," Ellen admitted. "I have my insecurities too. You can be insecure about anything, it doesn't have to be about looks. Mine is about my looks, but not because I don't think I am pretty, but because I wonder how many people actually like me beyond my looks. I am know I am pretty, and I know most of the time I will win, but I also know personality is important and I know it can triumph over looks. So that's why she frustrates me because those boys like her for her. They like me but only because they want to snog a beautiful girl. It bothers me."

"I get it," I told her. "It happens with me too. Most of these psycho girls just want me because of how I look and because I am smart. At least with Michael, he knows Anne is in love with him."

Ellen smiled. "Well at least someone understands me. Anyway, you're right. We'll see about getting people to compliment her. If we do, she might leave the rest of the insecurity behind."

Even though I didn't find her ugly like I had in first year, I knew we couldn't go over the top either. She wouldn't believe it. We had to make it be subtle. At times, I did find her to be beautiful anyway. There was a way her eyes lit up when she was excited. She had some kind of beauty that radiated from her that wasn't from her features, but I couldn't explain it. I loved when she dressed up, not because it did make her look better but because that beauty she already radiated grew more because she grew confident too. I believed that was why I had those confusing thoughts about her. It had started with that makeover when she'd sat on my lap.

When I mentioned our plan to Jared he just smiled at me.

"I figured that out a year ago Hoofer. It's not why I compliment her, but I already knew that anyway. I'll spread the word however," he told me.

After that, I noticed people did compliment more, but they'd listened when we told them not to go over the top. They understood what we were trying to do, and I guessed it was because they too were tired of her insecurities. They knew they couldn't over compliment her beauty, but they complimented other things. I even went out of my way to tell her out cute she looked after a Herbology lesson.

"Really?" She asked as she gave me an odd look. "Cute?"

"Yes," I said as I pulled a twig out of her hair. "It's just funny how you manage to get so dirty. It's cute. I've never seen anyone look at war from Herbology before I met you."

"You didn't have Herbology before you met me," she told me. "What's this about anyway, I've been noticing people complimenting me more, and I'm not complaining but I have to say this is the oddest one I've had so far."

"Because it's amusing to me," I told her. "I can't explain it, but every time we leave a Herbology lesson, I just feel amazed at how dirty you look, but it's cute. I think people are complimenting you more because you've changed. It's amazing how much you change even by the term. You're not even the same girl you were at the beginning of the year."

"Well thanks Ben," Ashley said and she muttered a spell as she pointed her wand at her hair to straighten it out. "I'm sure you'll be saying the same in seventh year."

"Possibly," I told her.

I just hoped she wouldn't have those insecurities when we hit seventh year.

Michael found it odd what we were doing, and he wanted to know why we had to all coddle her.

"If you don't want to be involved, don't be," I said. "Just don't insult her either."

"I'm not saying I am against it. She's different from first year with the self-pity and I know she could use more confidence still. I just don't get why we always all coddle her. When Ellen and Devon broke up, no one surrounded her. Look at all your break ups. Look at what happens when Anne and me break up. Ashley and Denver break up and we all drop what we're doing for her. I just don't get why we all have to pull together for her."

"We've all always pulled together for each other. You weren't there, but most of the Hufflepuff's were there for Ellen after her break up. People have always rallied around me too. When that bloke hit Jess, every single Hufflepuff boy who knew about it went after him. Our loyalty for each other always comes out in a time of need. We just haven't had to for you yet," I told him. "You just seem to be against it when it comes to Ashley, and I don't understand why. You're a better friend to her, but sometimes you still seem to have it out for her."

"I don't know if I do or not," he said. "She's my friend, and I am grateful for the things she has done for me. It's just there was a situation that happened that I am not still sure about. If it did happen, it just angers me sometimes. I don't think she did it on purpose either. I just... it's a bit of resentment I feel."

"And what was it?" I asked. "I have a feeling it's something that angered you last year, and it was part of why you were so angry with her."

"I just don't want to talk about it. It's something that happened to me, and I think she overheard me telling Jared about it. I'm not going into detail about it, but I worry that Denver, Morgan and Claire heard it too," he told me.

"And that's why you were angry that she was listening in," I said.

"Yes," Michael said. "It's something I don't want people to know. If she found out, I don't care if she did but I don't want the Slytherin's to know."

"Well what is it?" I asked but he shook his head.

"I just can't talk about it. Jared said he thinks that she didn't hear it anyway," Michael told me. "It's my issue, not hers. I just need to move past it. Hopefully I will soon. I work on trying to get over it, but then sometimes I remember that resentment and I get upset with her again. It's not as bad as it used to be. Someday I plan to tell all three of you, but for now I just need this to be a secret, okay? So please just don't mention it to her. There's a chance she knows and decided to just keep it secret for me. I don't Denver, Morgan and Claire wouldn't tell anyone, I just never wanted them to know."

"Fine, but I don't get why you can't tell your best friends," I told him. "You told Jared."

"Because at the time Jared was my best friend," Michael answered. "We were all irritated with each other, but I don't even talk about it with him now. I don't want to talk about it with anyone. So just let me have this for now."

"I won't ask about it anymore, but can you please just try better to help us raise her confidence. It's what a friend would do, and you said you'd try and be a better friend to her," I said.

"Fine whatever," he said. "We'll coddle her like usual. And don't say it Ben, because you know it's true. Maybe the other Hufflepuff's help each other out, but you know I'm right that we do go out of our way more to help her."

I didn't agree with that, but maybe I was just biased. There could be a chance he was right, but all I wanted was for my best friend was to be happy. So even if he was right, and I didn't know if he was or not, I didn't care.

The end of third year came and I still wasn't beating Tara. It didn't disappointment me as much as it had the previous two years. This time it just made me more determined to beat her. I knew someday that I was going to be above her. She could enjoy the first three years as the top of the year. Eventually the school work would get harder, and that's when it matter the most.

Third year ended on a happy note besides Michael's depression about going home. All three of us, and even Jared offered him our home, but as usual he refused with the same excuse that he wanted to work all summer again. I knew he made good money, but I was sure he could make money in another town. Shops in Diagon Alley offered Hogwarts students money for help during the summers.

It was what I was planning to do that summer. My mum hadn't wanted me to work the last two summers, but I would be fifteen in September. It was actually a bit of an annoyance for me because she'd let Barry start working after his third year, and she'd made such a big show about how proud she was that he was working on his own. She was so proud that she made Brenda do it after a few weeks. She wouldn't let Brianne, but that was understandable because after Brianne's second year was when You-Know-Who had taken over. She hadn't let any of them work in Diagon Alley after that. Now the world was safe, and Brianne had been working in a beauty salon, but she wouldn't let me do anything. It was actually Barry who convinced her to let me earn some money.

So that summer, I was stocking shelves in apothecary. It wasn't much money per hour, but it was the only job I really could find for a fourteen year old. There were better ones, but you had to apply early to get them. Most people tried to work at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes but they only took in a few students, and usually older ones.

The work was boring but somehow satisfying. I ended up learning more about potion ingredients and even how herbs worked in simple spells. So it wasn't a waste of time, and I was earning some nice pocket money. I understood now about Ashley and Michael's attitude about earning money on their own. Mum and dad had always just sent me what I needed, but it felt good knowing that all the money I could spend now would be because I earned it.

It was also nice spending the summers down in Diagon Alley. The odd thing was, I saw Denver hanging out down there a lot too, but he told me it wasn't for work. He just liked spending his summers there. I didn't get why. Diagon Alley could be interesting, but if it wasn't for work, I wouldn't spend everyday there. I wondered if he ever tried to go down Knockturn Alley.

I have to admit I was curious about it. It was forbidden and it was more for the darker wizards, but every wizarding child was curious about what went on down there. One afternoon when I found him sitting on a patio, and drinking butterbeer, I asked him about it.

"Never had the guts to go down there," he told me. "I'm surprised at you Hoofer."

"You can't tell me that you aren't curious," I said.

"I don't know Hoofer," he said with a shrug. "I'm surprised at you."

I shrugged. "Maybe you're right," I said.

"I wasn't saying no," he said. "But we have to make it quick. We don't want to be seen down there, even now when it's a few years past the war."

I nodded and he finished up his butterbeer. I couldn't believe that we were actually going down there. We hurried over to Knockturn Alley. I couldn't help but look around before we entered. My parents would kill me if they knew. The odd thing was, once we were there, it seemed to be a different life. You could tell that the people seemed sketchy. It was much darker and dirtier. There were plenty of shops, but they looked as if the windows hadn't been cleaned in centuries.

"There's a shop somewhere down here that Harry Potter accidentally flooed to," Denver told me. "It has some cursed stuff in it."

"It looks like how Diagon Alley started to look," I said.

"Yeah well that was likely their plan," Denver said. "Diagon Alley would have been another Knockturn Alley. I'm surprised they let this place exist still."

"Borgin and Burkes," I said as we stopped outside one shop. "Is the place you're talking about?"

"Oi!" Someone said behind us which caused us to jump.

We turned to see Hagrid from school glaring down at us. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing down here.

"Yeh lot, out of here now!" He said and he put a huge hand on each of our shoulders and steered us away.

"I'm surprise at the both of yeh!" he said. "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with me own eyes."

He pushed us forward and we had no choice but to be pushed out by him. He was my teacher, but not Denver's, so I was surprised he even knew anything about Denver. He didn't stop pushing us until we were blinking in the bright sunlight as he returned us to Diagon Alley.

"Oh come on Hagrid, we were just curious," Denver said. "We weren't planning on buying anything. We just wanted to see what was down here. You're over reacting!"

"Over reactin? I think bloody not! What would your parents or brother say about that Halfern! And yeh!" He added as he pointed a finger at me. "What would Barry or Brianne say. I don't yeh're parents too well but I took care of Brianne and Barry when the Carrows took over. I know they wouldn't want their little brother wanderin down that Alley. I never want to see either of you down there again! Harry didn't kill you-know-who just so you lot can go down there."

"Actually he did, he gave us the freedom to go where we want safely," Denver pointed out.

The look Hagrid gave Denver made him back up. Hagrid for the most part was an easy-going bloke. He was friends with a lot of the students at Hogwarts outside of his classes, but it was scary when he did get angry.

"We won't go down there again," I promised and I turned to Denver. "Let's go."

We hurried away from him, and I hoped that he wouldn't write letters to Brianne and Barry. I didn't know that they had befriended Hagrid. My friends and I were friendly with him, but we'd never gone to his hut where he often invited students. He had sent me a letter back in first year, but I hadn't gone and now it explained why he'd sent me the letter. I'd meant to go eventually, and I'd even written back that I'd take Ashley, Ellen and Michael there but it had never happened.

"You're friends with Hagrid?" I asked him.

"Whole family is," he told me. "Sometimes we go to his hut. I just hope he doesn't tell my parents or my brother Dan."

"I hope he doesn't tell Barry or Brianne. I didn't know they were friends with him. Look, lets just agree right now never to mention it to anyone ever," I said.

I held up a pinky and Denver hesitated before he hooked his pinky into mine. A warmth filled through me. I didn't believe that anything happened if you broke a pinky swear, but a lot of wizarding children took it seriously. I didn't understand why it seemed to bind a secret to you, and I didn't even know what was supposed to happen anyway. No one I knew had actually ever broken a promise.

I was surprised I even had a promise with the bloke. We didn't even like each other that much. I'd only asked him because we'd run into each other. I still hadn't forgiven him for breaking Ashley's heart. It still irritated me that they had dated anyway. I decided to avoid him after that for the rest of the summer.

I was just glad that Hagrid decided to keep it secret too. When school started that year, he didn't even mention it me in classes. When he called me to stay after class one day, I feared that he was going to tell me off, but it was only to tell me that I seemed too distracted in his class, and that in the fourth year we'd be working with more dangerous animals, so I had to leave whatever it was that distracted me behind.

My distraction was my best friend. She'd help three Hufflepuff first years become friends. She still kept up with introducing herself to the new first years. That year, she noticed a little girl, Alana who was lonely and shy by herself. Apparently the other little girls didn't like her, and according to Ashley, they had started to make fun of her for being anti-social. I knew that would have struck a nerve with her because of Michael. So she'd introduced Alana to two little boys she'd help out, and the three were instant friends.

I'd done well that summer to keep her off of my mind, but after that incident, not even Arithmancy was helping. Hagrid was right, I had been distracted. I vowed from that moment that I needed to stop thinking about her. Third year was over, and so we could all start dating again. Even though other girls had distracted me, I needed a distraction besides Arithmancy. I needed another girlfriend, and I needed one that I really liked.

So I turned to Ellen who funnily enough had started to date Stan. Hank didn't even care, but apparently Stan had worried he would. I doubted a second year relationship really mattered to him though. I was just glad that she was in a relationship. I wanted her help to find a girl though. Ellen and Ashley would both know which girls liked me, and they also knew which would suit me. I asked Ellen because for some reason asking Ashley made me feel guilty.

Ellen was friends with some of the friendlier Ravenclaw girls, and she introduced me to Lindsay who I hit it off with instantly. She had most of the traits I looked for in girls. Her major downfalls were that she could be too gossipy and she cried over too much. However, those two things weren't deal breakers. I knew she wouldn't get jealous about Ellen or Ashley because she was friends with Ellen. So I felt that this time, things were going to work out.

Once again, Ashley was still the only single one but something had happened over the summer. She'd started asking guys out to Hogsmeade. Some said no, but she ended up having a good success rate. Unfortunately nothing came out of those dates. Part of me was glad, but part me of wanted her to meet someone too.

She didn't seem to be the least bit lonely though. Just as it happened the year before, and after Easter break in second year, we stopped seeing her again. She started hanging out with the other houses more and more. She had also befriended little Alana and her friends. Often I would see her sitting with the first years and talking to them.

This seemed to really bother Ellen a lot. Whenever we had Quidditch practices, she would complain about it to me.

"I'm losing my best friend," she said.

"No you're not," I said. "Ashley always come back to us. Would you rather she be that clingy first year again?"

"Sometimes," Ellen answered. "At least I knew she wasn't going to find another girl friend. Look at how much she hangs out with the Andrew twins."

"Ellen I think you're worrying over nothing. She needs this. You and me have Quidditch, Stan and Lindsay. Michael has Anne and when he isn't hanging out with her, he's off with Jared. Ellen, do you want her to end up like she was when we had that huge fight in second year? Just let her be. You're not going to lose her," I said.

"You're not worried about losing her?" Ellen asked.

"Nope," I answered. "She wouldn't abandon her best friends. She is just trying to make new ones."

"What about you and Lindsay?" Ellen asked. "Are things going good between you two? She has liked you since second year, and she won't get jealous over us. You said you can tolerate the crying."

"Things are fine," I said.

"But?" Ellen asked.

"What makes you think there is a but?" I asked.

"It's the way you said it," she said.

"Things are great with her," I said.

There was a but, however, I wasn't going to get into it and I wasn't going to think about it. I was just going to keep focusing on Lindsay, my school work and Quidditch. I also wanted to work on getting to know the younger years too. I knew three of the first years because of Ashley, but I decided to get to know the others. In a year if I wanted to be a prefect, I'd have to know them.

However, even though things were going great with Lindsay, as time went on, it was hard me to stay focused on her like I should have. Fortunately she didn't seem to notice. It was wrong, and I knew it, but I stayed with her anyway. It was wrong to lead a girl on, but besides the fact that I had confusing thoughts for another girl, things were actually perfect with Lindsay. So why should I end it? For once, I couldn't put Ashley ahead. I remembered when Michael had said we coddled her, and for the first time since I'd met her, I wasn't going to put her first. It had to be about Lindsay who actually was good for me.

So I stayed with her. One evening, I went down to our dorms to grab my Arithmancy textbook but the moment I walked in, I turned and walked back out. In his bed with the curtains not even closed was Michael with Anne and they were shagging. My face was red. I had to wonder just how long they'd been shagging. I couldn't tell from experience obviously, but I didn't think it was their first time. I walked straight to the library without the textbook deep in thought.

As embarrassed as I was to walk in on one of my close friends shagging, I also felt a little jealous too. Sex had actually been on my mind a lot lately, and I hated it. I knew it was normal though. I'd written to Barry about my fantasies. Usually he took a while to get back, but that he wrote back that it was perfectly normal for me to have those thoughts and feelings. I have to admit, I'd had them even when I was twelve and thirteen but they weren't as vivid as they were now.

He also told me that he had been my age when he'd lost his virginity. He advised me not to, but if I had to then to be careful. Ever since then, I wondered about bringing it up with Lindsay. She wasn't the only girl I fantasized about but she was the one I could fantasize about. So I figured I'd bring it up. When I did though, she started to cry and I felt like a royal prat.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Don't apologize," she said. "I shouldn't be crying. I'm sorry Ben, I'm just not ready yet."

"It's okay," I said.

"It's not going to end things is it?" She asked. "Because I really like you."

"No," I stated firmly but I couldn't help but feel that was the beginning of the end.

It wasn't because she said no to sex either. I wasn't heartless, but because I'd thought of sex as a way to bring us closer because I felt maybe that was what was missing. It wasn't, and now that I'd said it, I realized I didn't want sex with her either. Well, I did want sex with her, I wanted it with a lot of pretty girls, but she wasn't the one I truly wanted to have sex with, and the only one I wanted it with. There was someone else, and I still tried to push those thoughts away.

Breaking up with Lindsay wouldn't be fair though, so I didn't. I stayed with her anyway until after Christmas Break. Then there was a moment that made me freeze in my tracks and I knew what I had been denying all these years was true. I was in love with my best friend. Perhaps I had even loved her in first year, but I knew those feelings had surfaced when she'd first sat on my lap, but I'd ignored them. However, as I watched her help out some scared looking first year Slytherins, I knew that I'd always loved her.

I couldn't tell her either. We had too much of a history, namely first year. I felt embarrassed as I thought back to the boy that I had been. I wish I could go back to my twelve year old self and shake some sense into him. I wished I could get a hold of a time-turner and tell that little boy that he was ruining a chance with her, because I knew I had. There was no way she could want to be with me after I'd said so many of the things I'd said. I wouldn't want to date a girl who had said I was too ugly to date. I wouldn't want to date a girl who had laughed at me when I thought she'd take me to a Valentines party. I was complete and utter prat.

I stood watching her and I wished that I still thought I just had confusing feelings. I liked it better when I was in denial because at least I was still able to date. I couldn't be in a relationship now when I loved someone else. So I was going to have to break up with Lindsay, and I figured I should be honest with her. I didn't want her to think that it was because she didn't want to have sex with me. I knew she would think that when I told her that I wanted to end it, so I was going to have to be honest with her.

Ashley was still reassuring the first years, and I had to wonder what it was that had scared them in the first place. I turned away quickly and headed to a corridor where we sometimes met up to snog. It was one of the hidden ones. I knew she'd wonder where I was. When I entered, it was to find her staring at her reflection in a small pocket mirror. She smiled when she saw me, and placed it in her bag.

"I was wondering what was keeping you," she said with a smile.

"I had to take a detour," I answered. "Look Lindsay, we need to talk."

Her face fell. Everyone knew that 'we need to talk' normally wasn't a good thing. It could either lead to a fight or a break up or just bad news about something.

"You're ending things aren't you?" She asked sadly. "I've noticed you have been drifting lately. It's because of the sex isn't it?"

"No," I told her. "It was stupid of me to even suggest it. It's just I knew Michael was having sex, and I think even Stan and Ellen have started. I was feeling jealous but I was prat to bring it up. I would never pressure a girl to have sex with me, and I wouldn't break up with her over it either."

"So why? We get along so well," Lindsay asked.

"I knew I needed to be honest with you because I knew you'd think it was the sex," I said. "You are an amazing girl and it's definitely not your fault."

"This isn't a 'it's not you it's me' thing is it?" She asked.

"Well, in a sense but it's not in the way you think it is because it is my fault," I told her. "I've realized I'm in love with someone else and I always have been. It was on the way here that I fully realized it. It's just not fair for me to stay with you when I love someone else. I think it's the reason why most of my relationships failed. I think even Claire knew it. Melanie was psycho of course, but it was so easy to end if with Nicole because of it."

"It's Ashley isn't it?" Lindsay asked with a nod.

I nodded. "I'm sorry Lindsay. If I'd known at the beginning of our relationship I wouldn't have dated you. I feel terrible that I'm hurting you because you really were a great girlfriend. Any bloke would be happy to be with you."

"We could pretend-" Lindsay began but I shook my head.

"No," I said. "It's not fair to either one of us. I don't know if Ashley and me will ever date, but you deserve to find a bloke who will actually like you back. I will never love you."

"I know, I even knew that from the beginning that you loved her, but I wanted a chance with you. I just thought maybe eventually you'd love me," she said sadly. "I even considered the sex with you, but I just can't. I'm fourteen. It's why I started to cry when you brought it up."

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I regret hurting you. I shouldn't have been with you," I said. "When I broke up with my other girlfriends, it didn't bother me, but they deserved it. You don't deserve this. You've been nothing but good to me."

"I'll be fine Ben," Lindsay said with a smile. "I almost expected it. You won't be my only boyfriend."

"I just have one request please," I said. "I don't want anyone knowing the truth. If you have to, you can make me be a big prat. You can say it's because I wanted sex with you. I don't care, I just don't want anyone to know. I know you and Ellen are friends, but I don't want her knowing either. Even though she's with Stan, I think she wants me."

"She does," Lindsay told me. "She confessed it to me last year. Outside of Ashley or the Hufflepuff girls, I am one of Ellen's closest girlfriends. I was the only one she could confide in. She told me that she's loved you since the end of first year. So I was surprised when she set you and me up. She even suspects it about Ashley. She's angry about it."

"I know," I said. "We kind of talked about it last year. She didn't come right out and tell me that it was me. She just told me it was a bloke she liked but she could tell that he wanted Ashley, and it bothered her. She said she didn't want to lose to Ashley."

Lindsay smirked. "No she doesn't at all. She hates losing to any girl, but if it's someone less attractive than her, she loses her mind. She thinks the prettier girl should always win. Anyway Ben, I won't tell people some terrible story about you. I promise to keep your secret. I think it's better for all of us to be honest."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it," I said. "It means a lot considering what I am doing to you."

"Ben, you can't help who you love. Ellen can't help loving you. Michael can't help loving Ellen. Ashley can't help still loving Denver, even though secretly I think it's you she wants. She's just too hung up on what happened with Melanie and everything. It's why she hasn't been able to get another relationship," Lindsay said.

"You seem to be smart about people," I told her.

"The Andrew twins aren't the only ones who know how to read people. It's why I am good at Divination. I know there are some seers out there, but I am not one of them. It's just when it comes to readings, you have to be able read the person as well for some things. You have to know the symbols or tarot cards as well of course, but that's how muggle psychics do it. They cold read people. They say the right things. When I was a kid, psychics always fascinated me. I knew I had some kind of power, and so that's why I don't find Divination as useless as a lot of people do. If it's used right, it can actually be helpful if it's used right. Professor Trelawny is useless as a seer, well, I wouldn't call her a seer but she does know the subject. Anyway, a long story short, as a kid I learned to read people and I can see things. I might not be as good as the Andrew twins, but I know what I'm talking about," Lindsay told me. "I did a tarot reading about you and Ashley because I suspected it. I'm telling you Ben, things will work out for you two. Once she realizes it's you that she loves, and not Denver, you two will be together."

"You sound like her," I said with some amusement as I thought back to the times she'd done tarot readings for me. "She did them for me, and she told me it wouldn't work with Nicole. She told me it'd be a good relationship with you, but it wouldn't work out in the end."

"That's what I mean Ben," she told me. "I've heard you go on about how useless Divination is, but you have two people who have done readings for you."

"Look, it's all a coincidence. Ashley knew it wasn't going to work with Nicole, and you even said yourself you knew that things wouldn't work with me," I told her. "You're just reading what you know or what you want to hear. Anyway Lindsay-"

"Look, believe what you want Ben, but I think in the right time you should tell Ashley," she interrupted. "We'll just tell people that we decided it wasn't going to work out. I'll keep the secret, especially from Ellen because I don't want her hurt. However, I just think in a few months you should tell her. I honestly don't think she'd reject you."

"I was rude to her in first year," I told me. "Michael and me made fun of her all the time."

"Denver hexed her in the corridors constantly," Lindsay said. "Even if you were mean to her, I doubt it was anything compared to Denver or even Jared. Ashley is one of those people who believe in second chances."

"She gave me more than one," I muttered.

"And now you two are closer because of it," she said. "Ben, you can either take my advice or not. For now, we just need to get our stories straight for when we tell people. You know Hogwarts. It's going to be the main gossip until something else happens. So let's say we got in a fight, and we decided that things weren't going to work. I'm going to say you're the dumper because it's the truth, but it's also my own personal form of revenge since people are always harsher on the dumper."

I didn't really care about that. She could say whatever she wanted about me. I felt I deserved it, because I knew even when I had asked Ellen to set me up that it wasn't going to work. I had used Lindsay to try and get over Ashley, and that was wrong. I would never do anything again. I was just going to have to do my best to move on from her, and in the meantime, I could keep pulling a Jared attitude. No one would get hurt because girls knew from the get go that it was no strings attached. If only Ashley would get in a relationship. Maybe once she was in one, I'd move on.

Ellen ended up being furious with me for breaking up with Lindsay.

"And over one fight!" Ellen said furiously. "You tell me to help set you up with someone, and so I do and the moment it gets tough, you dump her. What is it with you and girls Ben? You date all the wrong ones, and then when you find one who is actually good for you, you dump her!"

"Did she tell you that she agreed after I pulled the plug?" I asked her with some irritation.

I had expected some anger when the break up got out, but Ellen was angering me, especially since I could see in her eyes that she was actually happy. She didn't want me to be with anyone. I'd been able to tell when I'd ask for her help. I had seen the sadness in her eyes. When I'd told my friends about the break up later on, her eyes had lit up before she'd been angry. Now it was a few days later, and I felt like she was just faking her anger to look good for her friend.

"Well yes, but of course she would," Ellen said. "Do you have that big of an ego that you think every girl is going to beg you to stay."

"I never expected she would," I told Ellen. "If you talked to Lindsay at all, you'll know that she's fine with it."

"I'm just sticking up for a friend," Ellen said. "I would be doing the same for you if it were the other way around."

"Well now you've had your say. Are you about done, or are you going to keep yelling at me?" I asked.

"I'm done, but sometimes I swear you're in love with someone else and that's why you can't stay with anyone or why you pick the wrong girls."

"Did Lindsay say anything?" I asked.

"No, why would she?" Ellen asked and then her eyes widened. "It's why isn't it? And she knows."

"No it's not Ellen," I said but I thought I saw excitement in her eyes now, and I had to wonder why.

"No, of course not," she said but she kept a small smile on her face.

I didn't understand why that would make her so happy, but I wasn't going to argue with her either. I could tell she didn't believe me. So I decided to change the subject to Quidditch. If I could take her mind off of something, Quidditch was always the best way to do it. Her eyes lit up even more when I said it, and she began talking fast about a new Quidditch Chaser technique that she'd read about. I smiled at her in amusement. I loved how animated she got.

I actually felt at times that it brought us closer. I had male bonding when it came to Michael, and most other things when it came to Ashley when Quidditch was something that only Ellen and me shared. Hufflepuff was doing really well that year, and it was because our captain took Ellen seriously. Most people believed she should be the captain, but she was only fourth year.

When it came to choosing new recruits, he looked to her first before anyone else. I guess without any of us knowing it, she had been training a first year named Martha the year before. I didn't know why she hadn't even told me, I would have helped since it was for the Chaser position. It would have worked better for all three of us to work together. However, she'd kept it secret from everybody. She'd introduced the new girl as our secret weapon, and I had to admit that the new girl was good. The moment she had her try-out, we all knew. She worked so well with us as well.

Quidditch was a way to release a lot of energy for me. My friends thought that I never got stressed from homework, but I did. The teachers were slowly starting to pile it on for us since we'd be preparing for our OWLs in the next school year. It wasn't just the homework, but the situation with Ashley and when I had breakups, it helped with that too. I could forget everything for the moment except trying to score goals. With Quidditch, you couldn't ever afford to be distracted. You had to have your mind on the game at all times, and you also had to be careful that you weren't hit with a bludger.

There were some nights before a game where we couldn't sleep, so Ellen and I would get up together and discuss Quidditch together. I could tell she loved our alone time as much as I did. It rarely happened because she was always with Stan. I always managed to have my alone time with Michael or Ashley.

I think a lot of people knew that Hufflepuff was in line for a win that year. We were supported a lot more than usual, even by the Gryffindors who had been winning almost every year. We were going make history that year.

As the upcoming final game came that year, it was all people would talk about. We'd taken out Slytherin right away in the first game. In the second game, Ravenclaw had been a challenge but we'd scored over a hundred and fifty points over them before the Seeker had even caught the Snitch. Now it was down to the final game with Gryffindor. Overall they were only a hundred points behind, so they could catch up if they really wanted to. They had come through many times in the past few years. Ellen was confident though.

"If they still had the Weasley's, I'd be worried but I'm really not," she told me.

We'd both gotten up really early that morning. I knew she was as nervous as I was. The moment she saw me, she walked over and we began discussing it.

"Ginny has been gone for a long time now and they won last year," I reminded her. "Even without the Weasleys, they aren't a bad team."

"True, but we are a better team. We have better players, and we've trained a lot more than them. It's really down to the Chasers and the Seeker. I've seen Mackintosh out there practicing on his own. We've been practicing on our own with Martha. I believe the others have practiced too. When we all get together for practice, we're phenomenal. Right now, the only thing standing in our way is our nerves. If we can feel as good as we do during practice, we'll be fine. I honestly believe later tonight we'll be celebrating a win."

And with Ellen's confidence, I was able to feel better. She was right after all. I told myself to just play as we always played because the three of us really did work well as a team. And that's what we did. I could see my housemates were one hundred behind us. Ashley had always enjoyed dressing for Hufflepuff, but she'd really gone all out that day by wearing a Hufflepuff yellow dress. It looked good on her, and I tried not to think about how it hugged her curves in just the right places. She wore her hair up with a yellow Hufflepuff clip, and she had changed her nails yellow with her wand. All the girls, even Melanie were wearing badgers on their cheeks. They were temporary tattoos that you could buy.

"Even my underwear is for Hufflepuff," Ashley whispered to Ellen and I blushed feeling embarrassed for hearing such an intimate and private thing.

Keep your mind on the game Hoofer I told myself. I started to doing Arithmancy equations in my head until game time. I was relieved when our captain told us that it was finally time to go. I pushed her far from my mind and began thinking about great it would feel to win. We could all do shots that night, maybe even Ashley who had finally started to drink with us. She'd had her first drink at the end of the year the year before.

Once I got out there, I had no problem forgetting about her. It always happened once I was on a broom and throwing the Quaffle around. I just focused on the matter at hand. Gryffindor was brutal with their play. They really wanted another win even if they had supported us against Slytherin and Ravenclaw. They knew they just had to get one hundred points a head. However, we were just as brutal. We all knew that we could win the cup that year, and we weren't taking it from anyone. It was easy to just focus on what we were doing.

I felt that Martha was another Ellen in the making. She made many spectacular throws for a twelve year old. Ellen was even better. She didn't miss once against the Keeper. The game was brutal, long and hard but we won. It was suddenly down to the two Seekers. We'd be tied if the Gryffindor Seeker caught the Snitch, but we'd win if our Seeker caught it. I stopped in mid-air to watch. The Gryffindor Seeker had a better broom but Mackintosh was a better player. He stretched out an arm and grabbed the snitch before the other Seeker could.

Cheers erupted from the stands not only from the Hufflepuff's, but also from the Ravenclaws and surprisingly even the Slytherins. I think most people wanted to see someone else win the cup for once. Ellen flew into me hard, sobbing excitedly. I hugged her back tightly. We had made history that day. I believed it was over thirty years since we had won.

As we were presented the cup, we couple see Professor Sprout sobbing. The captain let Ellen help hold up the cup, but we all knew that she was the one who deserved it. She had been the one who had researched different tactics that year, and she was the one who taught us about different moves. So even though we'd won it together as a team, we all knew it was down to her.

Afterwards, we rushed forwards to meet our friends. Ashley, Michael and the rest of the fourth years stood grinning at us.

"We won!" Ellen screamed as she jumped and down.

"I knew you guys would," Ashley said as she hugged her, and then she turned to hug me. "You two had an amazing season this year."

I hugged her back tightly. I couldn't help but think about what she had said earlier that day. It was okay now that the game was over. I didn't have to worry about distractions. She pulled away to smile at me.

"It's just been so long since Hufflepuff has actually brought home the Quidditch cup," I said grinning back and then I glanced at Ellen. "I really think it's all down to you."

Ellen's face lit up and the two of us grinned at each other. I was sure we were both thinking about our talk that morning. It was because of her that I'd had that confidence in the first place. I'd wanted to win the cup for me and Hufflepuff, but it had really been for her as well. I hated seeing that look of disappointment on her face every year. Now we had finally won, and she looked the happiest I had ever seen her in a long time. I was sure if we were learning patronuses in class (which wouldn't be for a while) she'd be able to produce one. In fact, this likely would be her best memory.

"What a way to celebrate the end of fourth year," Michael said and I turned to look at him. He had an arm around Anne.

Often I was surprised that the two of them were still together. They had broken up so many times in the last couple of years, but they still got back together. Ashley had once told me she thought it was the sex that kept them together.

I didn't want to admit it to anyone, but my snog sessions had actually turned into a few one night stands. I often snogged the Andrew twins, and it had been hard to turn Shelly down when she'd wanted more with me. She knew I'd been a virgin the first time, and she hadn't cared. After that, I'd wanted more and she and her sister were more than happy to have it with me when I'd wanted it. My latest encounter had been with Lydia Jewel. I just hoped Tara would never find out, I'd asked her not to tell her but Lydia like to back stab people, so who knew.

I didn't like to talk about what I was doing at all, not even with the other guys in my year. Jared had asked me a few times, but I remained tight-lipped about it. Other blokes were proud to share details but I didn't. I understood now why people enjoyed it, but it was something I would never share with others. I hadn't even told Ashley about it.

I didn't want to think about all that at the moment, so I smiled at Ellen again who grinned back.

"Party in the Common Room!" Someone shouted and there was an answering cheer to this.

The team made their way back to the changing room. We were all talking excitedly.

"I am getting stupidly drunk tonight," Ellen told me.

"Me too," I told her. "I just hope Michael behaves himself tonight."

"Oh forget about him," she told me. "Let's just get drunk and enjoy ourselves. It's our night to party and we shouldn't worry about anyone else. Maybe we can actually get Ashley to join us for once."

"Ashley's been drinking since last year," I said.

"I'm not talking about that," Ellen said. "I don't care if she drinks or not. She just never hangs out with us as much as she did. Not even at our parties."

I shrugged, "She's just branching out more. Besides, I thought you said no worries tonight. So keep thinking about our win."

"You're right," Ellen said grinning again. "I'm just going to go change. Don't go back to the school without me."

And she disappeared into the girls changing room. I went into the boys changing room and had a quick shower before I changed. When I was done, Ellen wasn't ready but the others were headed back.

"Are you coming?" Mackintosh asked me.

"I'm just waiting for Ellen," I told him.

"Oooh, well we'd better get going then," Martha said with a giggle.

"Yep, best we leave the two of them alone," Mackintosh said to me with a wink.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as they walked away. It was a joke among our Quidditch team that Ellen and me would eventually date. It didn't matter how much I told them that it wasn't going to happen, they wouldn't listen but I was used to it by that point. I just worried about Ellen sometimes. I still believed she wanted me.

I felt a hand slip into mine after a while and I saw Ellen grinning up at me. I sighed but I didn't drop her hand, but I had to wonder how Stan would feel about this. Did he know that she wanted me? I could tell he was in love with her, and I was sure he'd be pissed not only with her but with me too. I hated it when girls with boyfriends hit on me. I didn't feel like dealing with some jealous bloke.

Ellen talked non-stop about the game all the way to the castle. I couldn't help but smile at her excitement and animation. I'd never met anyone so passionate about Quidditch before. I enjoyed it, but Quidditch was her life. She wanted to go on to the professionals and I knew by that point there was no doubt that she could if she kept working on it.

By the time we reached the common room, there was already a party in full swing. I dropped Ellen's hand and rushed over to where the boys were doing shots. I could see the look of disappointment on her face, but I didn't want anyone seeing us and making up rumours. She followed slowly behind me and joined Stan. He grinned at her and handed her a drink.

"For our little winner," he said and then leaned over to kiss him. She gave me a sheepish look before she kissed him back.

I ignored it and snatched up a shot.

"Ready to get drunk Hoofer?" Jared asked me and I nodded.

"That's the plan, but I think it's everyone's intentions tonight," I told him as I took another one.

Michael already looked as if he were wasted and I didn't see how he could be. I didn't think it could have been even an hour since the end of the game. I didn't understand why he drank so quickly. I decided as Ellen had told me not to worry about him. I just wanted to enjoy my win. I felt disappointment as I looked around for Ashley. I didn't see her anywhere.

"Where is Ashley?" I asked.

"Yes where is she?" Ellen asked. "I thought for sure she'd want to celebrate our win."

"I'm sure she'll be around eventually," Stan said. "I thought I saw her off with the firsties."

"She hangs out with Alana more than she hangs out with me," Ellen said.

It wasn't until a while later when I saw her approaching us. She was still wearing the same yellow dress as earlier. I couldn't help but think about how nice she looked, even if her hair looked messy by that point. I wished I could be the one to take it off later so I could see the Hufflepuff underwear. I walked over to her and threw an arm around her shoulder to pull her close.

"There you are! Come on, we're doing shots of firewhiskey."

"She won't do it," Michael said. "She doesn't drink."

"I've had some drinks before," she said defensively.

I wasn't sure if she'd had anything besides vodka mixed with pumpkin juice, but that didn't matter. She did drink with us, even if she didn't get to the point that the rest of us did. She did get buzzed. I hated it when Michael would start bothering her, which he was doing at that point. Anne giggled as he taunted her and I glared at the girl. How could she find this funny when Michael did the same to her?

Ashley grabbed a shot of firewhiskey and drank it back before glaring around at everyone.

"Well, isn't anyone else going to have some?"

"There we go!" Jared shouted. "Cheers!"

The rest of us reached for a shot as well. I could tell that her first taste firewhiskey had gotten to her, but it usually did for people. I still remembered the first time I had tried it. It gave you a nice warm feeling however. I watched as she supressed a burp before she grabbed a butterbeer which went unnoticed by Michael. He thought it was hilarious and he began bothering her again.

"Just ignore him," I told her and I grabbed a butterbeer for myself as well and then I led her over to where the others were sitting. I sat down in one of the chairs and pulled her on my lap. I wrapped an arm around her. I could see Ellen frowning at us. "You know how he gets when he gets drunk. I don't get why he drinks so much, considering his parents but he does. I remember when he used to say he would never drink."

"He was also eleven then," Ellen said still frowning at us, I could hear a different tone in her voice as well. "People change a lot between the ages of eleven and fifteen… well almost fifteen. You used to say you would never get drunk either, Ben."

"True," I said. "I also drink slowly, unlike him or you for that matter. Just how many shots have you done now, Ellen?" I couldn't help but add but she ignored this.

"He might be right," Ashley said. "Maybe I do need to catch up. You guys seem already buzzed."

"Well where were you?" Ellen asked. "We never get to see you that much Ashley. It's good you've become sort of a social butterfly I guess, but lately it seems like we don't see much of you."

"I was getting food to help you two celebrate your big win," she said with a grin. "The first and seconds years were helping me. It took us a little over an hour to get all of the food."

"Good influence you are," Jared joked. "Nice prefect you'll make next year."

"I won't make prefect next year," she said.

"You might," Hank said. "You've been helping the younger students out a lot, and not just in Hufflepuff."

"True, you introduced yourself to all the first years last year and this year," Stan added on. "That's prefect material right there. It's got to be either you, Melanie or Sarah. We all know we don't want Melanie."

I most certainly didn't. I was sure that I would be prefect, and I did not want to work with her. I seriously hoped it would be Sarah or Ashley. As much as I wanted to be a prefect, I would turn in my badge if I had to work with her. Some things weren't worth it. The talk turned to Melanie and where she was, and how everyone else agreed that we didn't want Melanie to be our prefect. Of course Michael had to start in on Ashley again when Hank mentioned that it had better be her. I wished he would tell us what it was that made him get on her case.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked. "Michael, quit being a prat. I would not care if you're drinking, and you know it."

"So then drink something besides butterbeer," he said as he nodded at the bottle in her hand. "I've yet to see you drunk."

"Get off her case Michael," Ellen said. "If she doesn't want to get drunk then she doesn't want to get drunk!"

"No, you know what? He's right," she answered and she forward and grabbed another shot of firewhiskey and drank it quickly.

"Careful," I told herself feeling worried. "You don't have to prove yourself."

"I'm not proving myself," she said but she sounded as if she were slurring her words. "He's right, I haven't been drunk before. I am going to be sixteen in September. It's about time I try. I am old enough now. I am not that first or second year little girl anymore."

"I think you're already getting there," I whispered in her ear. "Please be careful."

She didn't understand what it was like to be drunk. The worst she'd ever had was a bit of a headache from being buzzed. All of us there had drank to the point of throwing up. I'd had many mornings where I was wishing that I was dead because of all the alcohol I'd had. I would always tell myself that I would never drink again, but I always would on the weekends. I'd learned to build of a better tolerance as time went on. I knew from the amount of shots that she was doing that she'd be throwing up. She didn't have a good alcohol tolerance. No one else seemed to care though, they were all cheering her on, even Ellen.

As the night went on, I decided to stop worrying. Everyone else was starting to dance around and sing, including her. I'd never seen her let go like that, and when she did, I couldn't help but relax as well. Ashley giggled as we danced. I was going from that buzzed feeling to feeling drunk now as well.

"Might as well," she slurred. "You're the big winner anyway; we're having this party in your honor."

Drunk Ashley was actually funny, and I was glad that she was having fun with us now. I smiled at her and spun her around. Over her head, I could see Ellen with Stan, but she glaring over at me. Her face was turning red as the two of us danced. I couldn't understand how she could be so jealous. She had a boyfriend, and I thought I had made it clear that I wasn't interested in her. Besides, to anyone else, I was just dancing with my best friend. I was getting sick of Ellen acting like a jealous girlfriend all of the time. She had no claim over me.

"I'm going to do some more shots," I told Ashley as the song ended. "I think you should wait before you have anymore."

"I'll just keep dancing some more," she told me as she moved over to where Jess, Anne and Erica were dancing.

I headed over to Keith, Dan, Joey and Brad. They had some shot glasses lined up. I wanted to forget about Ellen for the moment. When I glanced over to where she had been, I saw that she and Stan had disappeared. I was glad about this. I didn't feel like having her eyeballing me. Melanie had finally stopped doing that over a year ago. I didn't need another girl doing the same, especially one of my best friends. I could see things ending badly, just as they had in the second year.

I lost track of everyone else that night. Some of the older students tried to interfere but this wasn't unusual. I didn't blame them for not wanting the first and second years to drink (even though we knew they did) but I thought by the end of third year, people should be left alone. Even as a prefect I wouldn't bother a students fun too much as long as they were careful. Barry had given me my first drink in the first year. There was nothing wrong with experimenting, and now that I thought about it, I understood more about why he started me with wine. I would never pull a Brenda.

"Let's just go sit down," I said after a while. "It's because of Michael that they start bothering us. He always ruins it for us."

"Yeah what's up with that bloke anyway?" Keith asked who didn't know Michael too well, even after all these years.

"He just gets like that when he's drunk," I said.

"What about in second year?" Dan asked. "I haven't forgotten what he did to Ashley. I was surprised when you lot forgave him. Either way, he is still a prat even when he isn't drunk. You just don't see it because he doesn't want to fight with you."

"He definitely wasn't drunk when he called us anti-social losers," Keith added. "Same thing he called Ashley as I recall. I don't get why she's been friends with him all these years. She can be too forgiving. It's going to get her in trouble one of these days."

I couldn't help but agree with on that one. We went over to sit where the rest of the fourths year were now sitting. Jess and Erica were drinking bottles of water. Someone always brought in muggle water bottles just for these nights. Apparently a pack of twenty-four was about a pound, so people always stocked up on them. Someone had placed several of them in a cooler, so I reached over to grab one as well.

"Already done drinking Hoofer?" Michael asked as he sat down not too far from me with Anne. He had brought out his poker set. He began setting it up.

"For now," I told him.

Ellen and Stan joined us moments later. She sent me an odd look before she sat on Stan's lap. They both had messed up hair, and I had a feeling I knew what they had been doing. Anne and Michael also had that look to them. Anne's shirt was on backwards and inside out. The tag was sticking out. I was amused but jealous at the same time. I wish I had a girlfriend who I could sneak off with. There was a particular girl who I wanted it to be with. I wondered where she had taken off to.

Just as I wondered this, she sat down in the chair beside me. She was still wearing the yellow dress, but it looked wrinkled now. I wondered what she had been doing. She reached for one of the water bottles, and of course Michael had to comment on that as well.

"Don't want to drink anymore?" Michael asked. "Buzz kill."

"Oh believe me I am drunk," she said. "I've just been off throwing up and I'm just done now."

That explained where she had been off to. Jared joined us moments later and shot a glare at Michael.

"Leave her alone," Jared said as he took a seat. "How much have you had to drink anyway mate? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Been doin some fun stuff," Michael said and he winked at Anne.

We all knew what that meant. I could see several people rolling their eyes. Most of us had walked in on them. I had way too many times since that first time. I knew in the muggle world that they put some kind of sign on the door for their room mates. I heard sometimes they put socks or something so their room mates would know. I wished Stan and Michael would do the same. I'd seen Stan and Ellen shagging too many times as well. It wasn't something you wanted to see your friends doing.

"Were you shagging again?" Hank asked. "You two are at it all the time in there."

"I don't kiss and tell," Michael said. "Now who's all playing?"

"Each and every one of have walked in on you two fucking," Dan said. "You don't have to tell anyone anything. Same with Stan and Ellen, we've all seen the two of you going at it. It'd be nice if you could warn us or go somewhere else."

Some people were starting to go to bed, and I tempted to go as well, but I didn't want to be one of the first. However, Ashley gave me an out.

"I think I am going to bed too," she said and got up, and without looking back at any of us, she headed off to the girls dorms.

"What a buzz kill," Michael muttered. "She never knows how to have fun."

"And your definition of fun is to make fun of people?" Keith asked. "Or talk behind their backs as soon as they're gone?"

"I'm just saying I doubt she was even drunk. She does a few drinks with us, and then she is done. She was probably hanging out with the firsties again because she's so much a child herself," he said.

"She was throwing up," Jared said. "I was there when she throwing up. I was the one to cut her off because she wanted to keep drinking. So why don't you just shut the bloody hell up?"

And with that, he got up to go to bed as well. Michael stared after Jared stunned. It wasn't that often when Jared would lose it on him. Usually he was the one who defended him and stuck by him.

"Exactly mate," I said as I stood up. "I've told you more than once to lay off on her."

I walked to the dorms as well. I was glad that Jared and Ashley had given me my out. I wasn't in the mood for poker or for Ellen's staring.

The next morning I woke up with a bad head ache. Luckily I kept myself well stocked on hang over potions. My parents often made them from all the drinking they did at parties, and now that we were all getting older, we drank too. I'd grabbed a few vials from the potions cabinet at Easter. I wondered if I should take one down to Ashley as well. Usually I didn't share them, but it was her first time being that drunk.

I threw back a shot of one of the vials and then went in to have a nice long shower. By the time I was dressed, I felt a lot better. The others didn't look too good however. The others were just getting ready as I was leaving. I wondered how long the rest of them had stayed up. Jared had gone straight for the showers and then bed, but the others had stayed up. When I got up the dorms, it was to find Jared sitting at one of the tables.

"Coming down?" I asked him.

"Not yet," he said. "I still have a headache and besides I'm waiting for one of the second years," and he held up an Ancient Runes text book. "I told him I'd give him this for next year."

I nodded and left the common room. As I headed down the corridors, it was hear to someone calling after me. I turned to see Ellen racing after me. She grinned at me.

"Hi!" She said. "Didn't you hear me calling you in the common room?"

"Nope," I answered. "So are you at all hung over?"

"Not too bad, but I didn't have as much to drink as the rest of you did. Stan always cuts me off before I can get too drunk. Very annoying."

I shrugged. "Well he means well," I answered.

I had a feeling that she was going to launch into complaints about him. Something in the tone of her voice made me think that.

"I know he likes looking out for me," she said. "But I wish he could be like you. You let girls be independent. You know I am independent when it comes to things. I doubt you'd cut off a girlfriend."

"Depends on how drunk she is," I said. "I'm starving, are you?"

"Just a little bit," she answered with a smile. "Ashley was still sleeping when I got up. I bet she'll be out for the day. She was quite drunk last night. Michael might be too. Maybe the two of us can hang out today, and we can talk about the game."

"Maybe," I echoed as she moved close to me. "But I thought you were all upset that you didn't see Ashley much anymore."

"Oh I am, and I do want to hang out with her," she said and then she winked at me, "but you and me can hang out today."

I didn't know how to react to her without hurting her feelings, but I had a feeling I was going to have to. I wasn't going to have much choice. Thankfully, when we entered the Great Hall, it was to find that Michael was already up. I hadn't noticed that he wasn't around in the dorms. He was busy picking at his food. Ellen looked disappointed as we joined him, but I was grateful for a distraction. I piled up my plate and began eating.

"You know, you could share those hang over potions with the rest of us," he told me.

"No because I only bring just enough," I said.

"You have hang over potions?" Ellen asked.

"Just enough for me," I answered her.

"But I would think you'd give one to me of all people," she said with some anger.

"Why you of all people?" I asked feeling irritated now.

"You know why," she said.

"No I don't know why," I said. "I'm not giving out my potions. If you're that hung over, learn to make your own. It's basic potions."

Ellen shot me a glare and then began putting food on her plate. Michael was frowning at me as well. I ignored them both as I ate. I was glad when the other began to join us. I was surprised when Ashley and Jared did after a while. I didn't think we'd see her all day considering how much she'd had to drink, but she didn't seem too bad.

"Morning," she said as she sat down.

"How much did you drink last night?" I had to ask. I'd lost track of her after I'd gone to have those shots.

"A lot," she said. "But I don't regret it, it was a good night."

"I'm sorry I was pressuring you last night," Michael said. "I shouldn't have been."

It wasn't a surprise that he was apologizing. He always apologized for being a prat the next day. I was sure he'd had a major telling off the night before. He had to stop being that way.

"You turn into a bit of a prat when you drink," I told him. "It reminds me of the way you were in first and second year. You really need to work on that if you're going to drink."

"You should be careful with your alcohol too," Ellen said. "You have always said you don't want to end up like your parents."

"My parents drink all the time. I only drink when we have parties in Hufflepuff or during our poker tournaments," Michael responded and he pushed his plate of bacon and eggs away. "This is too much."

"It's almost every weekend," Ashley said. "A drink or two is fine, but Michael you get downright drunk."

Michael gave a small shrug ignoring all this like he usually did when we lectured him. "We haven't hung out just the four of us for a while; let's go out to the grounds when we're done."

"That is true," Ellen said and she glanced over at Ashley. "Especially you, Ashley. We've barely hung out over the last couple of months. I noticed back after the Easter holidays in second year that you kind of changed more socially and I was glad about it. Last year I admired you because not only were you talking to the Hufflepuff first years, but you were doing that with the other three houses too, including the Slytherins. This year it just seemed like you haven't been around us as much. You and Ben hang out a lot, but both Michael and I don't see you as much."

"That's because you two are always busy with Anne and Stan," she replied. "Whenever you guys get into relationships you spend all your time with them instead of us. The three of you have been in relationships more than I have been so I just go around and meet new people. You and Stan seem to have gotten so close lately and well Michael, you and Anne have been joined at the hip-" "Literally," I muttered under my breathe as she talked "-since second year."

"Well let's go now," Michael said.

We all got up to leave. I was actually glad we were going to spend a day without Anne or Stan tagging along. It was the only time we could hang out with Ellen and Michael. They didn't seem able to go without them. It was annoying, especially for Ellen. If she was so much in love with me, why did she keep leading Stan on? I'd been guilty of it, so perhaps I was a hypocrite but she acted as if she couldn't even go a few hours without him, and yet she stared at me all the time. She was even dropping hints. I'd never done any of that.

As for Michael, he just didn't seem as if he could exist without Anne. And I knew part of it was jealousy that I didn't have a girlfriend to have sex with, but I wished he wouldn't have so much sex in our dorms without warning us. I figured now when it was just the four of us I could bring it up. This way it wouldn't embarrass anyone.

"Speaking of you and Anne being joined at the hip," I began as we headed down the steps. "Can't you give some kind of warning if you're going to shag? Perhaps maybe go to the Room of Requirement or something. I've walked in on you two quite a few times. We're close mate, but not that close. Same goes for you as well Ellen."

"I've caught you too," Ashley told Michael. "I went looking for Ben before Christmas and saw. I didn't think anyone else knew though, so I kept it to myself."

Michael grinned at Ellen. "Look at that, the two virgins are complaining because we are getting some."

"I'm not a virgin," Ashley and I said at the same time.

"Wait what?" Ellen asked as she looked at Ashley. "Don't tell me you and Denver had shagged in second year, not after all the lectures you gave me about it."

"You shagged in second year?" Michael and I asked Ellen. I couldn't believe she'd had sex that early!

"No," Ellen answered. "I just brought it up to Ashley and she got… well, almost Ben like, but now it seems she was a hypocrite."

"I didn't have sex with Denver," Ashley replied.

"Have you had a secret boyfriend then?" I demanded. Why would she keep that a secret? She told at least me everything. Why wouldn't she have brought up a boyfriend? "What do you mean you're not a virgin? If not Denver, than who?"

"I know we haven't hung out that much lately, but I didn't know you had a boyfriend," Michael added.

"It was a one night stand," she said and she blushed. "It was with Jared."

"What!?" Ellen, Michael and me asked at the same time.

We stopped at the bottom of the steps, and we all stared at each other. I'd never expected her to say that, but at the same time it made sense. I saw how affectionate the two were with each other. Had they only had sex the one time, or was it more than that?

"I don't believe it," Michael said and he shook his head. "After all that happened in second year?"

"I never thought you'd have a one night stand," Ellen said.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I had to ask, although I really couldn't since I hadn't told anyone about mine either. I couldn't get jealous about her and Jared even though I wanted to go back to the Great Hall and hex him. I had wanted to be the one to be with her.

"Jared and I have gotten along since second year. Remember, he was there the most after Denver and me broke up if you three weren't. Last year he stuck up for me when Don Zent and Xavier Opress made fun of me. He was there for me this year when the three of you weren't around. I don't see what the big deal is. We were both very careful even if we were drunk. He was very nice about it, and he asked me many times if I was sure, and I was. He even talked to me again this morning to make sure I was okay. Also, it only just happened last night Ben. So I couldn't tell you," Ashley answered sounding defensive.

I tried to push back my fury. I remembered some of the thoughts I'd had about her. I'd wanted to take off that yellow dress just to see that Hufflepuff underwear. I wanted to take that off and give her a good shag, but I hadn't. It had been Jared who'd done all that. Thankfully my friends were so focused on Ashley that no one noticed my anger. I worked on trying to be neutral on the situation. I couldn't get angry with him or her.

"It's just so unexpected," Ellen said. "I'm not judging at all, don't worry. I am surprised but if you're both fine with it, and he didn't take advantage then I am happy for you."

"Jared has slept with half the girls in our year, probably older and younger," Michael said. "Nothing is going to come from it."

"I don't expect anything to," she told Michael. "Jared and I are just friends."

"But that's just not you. You don't sleep around," Michael protested.

"Obviously not since last night was my first time, and I don't plan to just shag random boys you know. You guys are making too big of a deal out of this," Ashley told him with irritation.

"I'm not," Ellen said.

"I can't judge," I said even though I was extremely upset by it. "I've had random casual sex too, but I am just surprised that's all. Not only because it doesn't seem very well, you but with Jared too. If you're happy with it," I said and I did want her to be happy. I loved her. "I just… well you're not the same girl you were in first year, that's all I can say."

"I know we haven't spent that much time together over the last few months, but I don't get how the three of you can be that surprised that I'm different. We've hung out for almost four years. Haven't you noticed that none of us are the same people when we first started here?" She asked.

"Of course we've noticed," I assured her. In fact, I'd complimented her on it many times. "You've come a long way from that shy insecure girl. I guess it's just the thought of you having a one night stand with Jared that has really shown it."

"Well just be careful," Michael said with a frown. "I know we should all be taking that advice but I just remember the advice my father gave me. I might drink more than I should, and I do have sex with Anne but I've always remembered his words and my parent's life-style. Believe me; I don't want to end up like that. I just hope you think about that too, Ashley. You might not have shagged Jared if you were sober. You don't want to end up a teen mum just because of one drunk night. Think of your mum as well. You don't want to be a single mum."

"I know," Ashley said. "Jared was careful though. He did a spell and he used a condom. It's not as if I plan to shag every available boy in the castle now."

"Aw shucks," I said and he put an arm around her and pulled her close. "I was hoping I'd be your second."

As Ellen shot me another furious look, I felt annoyance. At that moment, I realized I couldn't ever get angry with Ashley. I didn't know if she would ever feel the same way about me that I did her. However, I couldn't help the fact that I wasn't interested in Ellen anymore than Ashley could help not wanting me at the moment. It wasn't fair to get angry with someone if they did something with someone else, or else in my case, show affection for a friend. Ellen knew that Ashley and I were close, and she was getting upset. So I was going to have to be a good friend, and forget about my feelings. If she wanted Jared or even Denver, I was going to have to let it happen.

"No way," Ellen said and she glared at me again as I stared back defiantly and then took a deep breath. "Anyway, it's hard to believe we all have though. I always said I'd wait until I was sixteen but I didn't keep that promise."

"I said I'd be out of Hogwarts," Michael said.

"I thought I'd have sex with my boyfriend in a bed, not a drunken one nighter in a broom closet," Ashley answered. "But I thought it would happen when I was at least sixteen and I am not that far from sixteen. Rachel, my mum and Pat have been telling both my sister and me that if we had to have underage sex, wait until at least sixteen."

"I thought it would be with a girlfriend, but I didn't give it much thought as to when," I answered, which was true. I'd only had sex recently because I was jealous of Michael. He was younger and he was having it all the time. I thought about Ashley's sister. I wondered if she had yet. She usually had a boyfriend, and even though I wasn't interested in her anymore, I was curious. "So has Jaime had sex yet?"

"Still crushing on her then?" Ellen asked. I could tell she was trying to make it sound as if it were a joke, but I could tell from her tone and expression that she wasn't joking.

"No, I am just curious. I lost interest in her years ago. She's hot, but I don't think I could date her. She's too judgmental and superficial," I answered Ellen as coldly as I could.

"She hasn't," Ashley answered and smiled. "So I actually beat her at something for once."

"I think you've beat her at a lot more than you realize," I replied, I hated how she could fall back into those insecurities about her sister at times. In reality, Ashley had more in life now than Jaime did. When we were younger, I could understand her insecurities, even if they were annoying. Now things were different. "Think about all you've accomplished. That's one thing you still are insecure about, and you really shouldn't be. I have nothing against your sister but come on. She dropped out midway through her sixth year!"

"I know, but she's still prettier, smarter and more popular," Ashley said.

I disagreed with that one. She might have been smarter than Ashley in school, but she had dropped out of school. So she'd made a bad choice right there, and that made her dumber than even Maisie. I also thought that Ashley was prettier than her sister, and I knew my twelve year old self would snort at that thought. It wasn't about her facial features however. Jaime might have had a prettier face, but Ashley was more beautiful in a different way. A shallow part of me loved her body too. Ashley had a hot body. She'd gained some of the weight she'd lost in second year, and she had developed a womanly body. She had curves in all the right places. Ashley also denied that she was popular, but a lot of people did like her.

"And look at where that got her," Ellen said.

"I guess," Ashley said.

"So, who have you had sex with?" Michael asked me as if to change the subject. I knew he couldn't tolerate her insecurities. "You said it wasn't with a girlfriend, so it wasn't Lindsay."

"Please don't say it was Tara," Ellen begged.

"Are you crazy?" I asked her. How could she even ask that? "Of course not! The first time was with Shelly Andrews, but there was also well, Lydia Jewel and then… well Sheila."

"You got to sleep with the Andrew twins, and you didn't tell me?" Michael demanded. Michael wanted the twins probably as much as he wanted Ellen. "They only go for older guys though!"

"I don't know what to tell you," I said. "Shelly wanted me, and I thought she wanted me again but it turned out to be Sheila."

That part was wrong, although it had been Shelly who convinced me, it had been me who'd wanted her. I had just doubted she'd want sex, so it was she didn't have to try hard to convince me. I'd been surprised when Sheila wanted sex. I wouldn't have thought it would have been good for Shelly. I knew I'd been awkward, but the girls had been patient and had taught me what I needed to know. I hadn't cared about Lydia.

"Do you know many guys in our year want to be with them?" Michael demanded. "They wouldn't even sleep with Denver and he's a good friend of theirs."

I didn't understand where Michael had gotten that from. I knew he had slept with at least one of them, and more than once.

"Lydia Jewel?" Ellen asked. "That's almost as bad as Tara! How could you Ben!?"

Again I was irritated because I knew it was her jealousy problems again. It would be the same as if I asked Ashley: "How could you?" when it came to Jared. I clenched my teeth for a moment, and then looked directly at Ellen.

"It was similar to Ashley's situation, I was very drunk and believe me I regret it. It was after Slughorn's last party. It would never have happened sober. She also knows that as well. I doubt she cares though, she sleeps around probably more than Jared does," I answered. "Don't make such a big deal out of it. This is why I didn't want to tell you guys about it. I don't feel like being judged."

Ellen shook her head and folded her arms but she didn't say anything. She kept glaring over at me as we walked over to the lake, but I didn't care. Ashley was my friend, and I loved her. Ellen was going to have to get over that. I would never feel that way about her. So as we sat down, I pulled Ashley down with me and held her closer to me.

"You know if you want girls to stop getting jealous of Ashley, you should take your arm off her," Ellen snapped at me.

"I don't really care what people think," I said. "Everyone knows she's my best friend. What's with you lately Ellen? Honestly, you've been acting like a jealous girlfriend."

It was finally going to have to come out. I knew exactly what it was she was getting at, and I was going to tell her she had no chance with me. She had to get over it now.

Sure enough she said: "Well if you don't know then I am not going to tell you."

"No I don't know," I said angrily just so she would say it.. "So you should tell me instead of playing games."

"Because I am in love with you," Ellen said softly and she gazed at me with a small hopeful smile.

"You're with Stan," I said without emotion.

"But I can end it with him Ben," she said. "We can be together like we're meant to be."

"No we're not," I told her and stared right into her eyes. She looked hurt, and I felt bad, but she had to know the truth. She also had a boyfriend so I added: "Stay with Stan then… or maybe don't, if you're going after other guys."

"But Ben, you feel the same way," Ellen protested. "I mean, if you're worried I am cheating, I am not."

"That's not what I am worried about," I sighed as I realized she was going to be stubborn about this. "Ellen, I don't feel the same way about you. You're my best friend and that's it."

"But-what are you talking about?" She asked.

"Ellen, you're just my friend," I told her. "That's what I am saying. I don't have feelings for you at all. If you're having these thoughts, maybe you shouldn't be with Stan. Considering the amount of sex you have with him, I am surprised."

"I-but, well I meant if it's the sex that bothers you, I am sorry you felt jealous Ben. I am sorry you were hurt," Ellen said. "It is because I am with Stan?"

"No, it's because I am not interested in you," I said. "There is no jealousy or hurt. I just don't want to date you. Ever. I see you as my very very good friend."

"I- but," Ellen began but then she jumped up. "Don't follow me!" She commanded before she turned and began to run back to the castle. I figured she added the last bit for Ashley's sake.

"You're kidding me, right?" Michael asked me with shock. "That was Ellen Perenge! She's even more beautiful than the Andrew twins. You just turned down the one girl who every boy in our year wants. Even if they won't admit it but even Don Zent and Xavier Opress wants her."

"And she is also like my little sister," I told him, but I knew he wouldn't understand. I saw Ellen the same way he saw Ashley. "I just don't see her that way. Sure she's beautiful but I just could never date her. I'm sure there are beautiful girls you would never date as well. I doubt I could even if we weren't friends. She'll get over it."

"I'm not so sure," Ashley said looking worried. "I think she's liked you since first year, but she just didn't really realize it. I always thought the same about you with her though."

"Nope," I said and I wondered if she was jealous about Ellen and me. She didn't show it, but she could hide her emotions well. I didn't want to be the same as Ellen and get my hopes up however. "She's my sister. I kind of guessed it about her though. I've noticed it since Christmas but I didn't want to believe it because I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want a big fight like we had in second year. I really hope this doesn't ruin our friendship either. I don't want to lose her as a friend."

I'd noticed it a lot longer than Christmas, and of course Lindsay had told me the truth, but I didn't see the point in getting into that. It was around Christmas that she'd been more aggressive about it, so I was sticking to that. I believed it had been since second year, maybe even longer.

"I just always believed the two of you would get together," Michael said. "Even when I liked her, I felt like I had competition with you."

I knew he still liked her, and he had probably been scared of that competition until that moment when I'd rejected her.

"Friends shouldn't date," Ashley said and I felt my heart sink, but I wasn't going to let it bother me.

So I said: "Well it really depends, look at Tasha and Barry. Ellen and me don't belong together and you two, and anyone else can think what they want but I will not change my mind about her. It isn't her that I want. She's beautiful like you say, so she'll find someone if she doesn't last with Stan. She's fourteen, she'll move on."

"I hope so," Ashley sighed. "It's been kind of peaceful lately, I don't want any fights."

"I still can't believe you slept with Jared," I said.

As much as I didn't want to talk about that, I didn't want to talk about Ellen anymore. I was sure she was off crying somewhere. I didn't want to think about that.

"It was a drunk thing," Ashley said.

"I can't believe you still think you can't get anyone else," Michael said to her. "Jared is a heart breaker."

"You've told me this Michael," Ashley said. "I'm not expecting a relationship with him. Besides you two know why I felt that way. I don't see the point in talking about this anymore. I just wanted to let all of you know what happened. I don't want to argue with you two. Let's just talk about something else now. I just want a nice relaxing day."

"You're right," Michael said. "Are we going to try and get together on weekends this summer?"

"I think so," I said. "I want to work again this summer, but I think it's better if we hang out on weekends and then a week at my place."

"Sounds good to me, I'm going to avoid my parents as much as possible this summer," Michael said.

"Or you can just stay with one of us," Ashley said.

"I'll be fine," Michael muttered and looked away.

I wished the boy would let go of his pride and move in with one of us. There was no reason for him to go home during the summers. I glanced at Ashley who gave a small shrug. There wasn't much we could do about it. As much as I didn't want to think about her, my thoughts went to Ellen. I hoped she was going to be okay. I really didn't want our friendship to be over.


	5. Love and Tensions

Things between Ellen and me were awkward, but luckily enough it didn't seem to ruin our friendship. However, she was trying her best to make me jealous. I felt bad for Stan, and I hoped he never found out because I knew how much he liked her. To him, she was just being an affectionate girlfriend, but she was putting on a show for me. When we hung out together, we would be extremely polite around each other.

Often I would see Michael shaking his head at me. He still didn't get how I could turn down Ellen like that. I was sure if the other guys in our year knew, they would say the same thing. I still didn't understand why so many men made such a fuss about her. Even I knew how beautiful she was, but I just could never be with her. It was as I told Michael and Ashley, Ellen was my little sister.

I wished that I could see Ashley as a sister as well. I tried my best to see her that way instead of loving her. I knew that she was having sex with Jared. Michael told me he'd told Jared off for it.

"He actually told me that he'd let her have more if she wanted it," Michael told me. "I think he does love her even if he says he doesn't."

"Maybe he'll ask her out then," I said trying to seem as if this were nothing, even though it bothered me. I knew she'd probably eventually get another boyfriend, and I wasn't going to stand in the way. Jared would be good to her if they dated.

"He'd probably cheat on her all the time Ben," Michael said. "You can't tell me you agree."

"Jared would never cheat," I said. "If they like each other, it would be better for her to date him then for them to keep having casual sex."

"Maybe he wouldn't cheat, but he would end up breaking her heart. Look, he's my friend but I've seen him with girls. Ben, he isn't a commitment kind of guy. It would be awful for her to get with him. Remember how she reacted when Denver broke up with her?" Michael said. "I just think she should find someone else. Even Denver would be better for her than Jared."

"Ashley's a lot stronger than she was in second year, I doubt she'd react like that again," I told him. "I'd rather she be with someone too than having casual sex, and if Jared wants more with her than maybe she should date him."

Michael sighed. "You don't know him the way I do Ben. I think we should try to convince her to stop this with him. You'd be the best one to do it. She won't listen to me. Jared would maybe be good to her at first, they might start off with a good relationship but he has issues. She could do one wrong thing, and he would dump her. I could even see him tagging her a long. The blokes means well, but he has to grow up before he gets into a relationship. I know I haven't always been fair to her, but she's my friend and I don't want her to get hurt again. Besides, we all know she wants Denver back."

"And you think she won't get hurt from Denver?" I asked skeptically. "Look what happened before."

"They've both grown up and changed since then. Neither one of them have moved on," Michael said. "I think we should help give them the chance. Maybe it won't work out, but if I could have a chance with Ellen I would take it. I think Ashley feels the same way about Denver."

I knew what Michael was saying was true. I'd seen the way she looked at Denver. They'd made up long ago, and it was as if second year had never happened. They were still good friends, and I knew that was likely the real reason she couldn't get into a relationship. It wasn't because the blokes didn't like her, it was because she wanted him. It was why my relationships didn't work out.

"You're right," I finally said. "It's one of the reasons my relationships don't work out. There is a girl I love, but I can't be with her. It's why it was so easy for me to turn down Ellen. I don't have feelings for her, but even if I did, I couldn't do that to her. It wouldn't last and it would hurt her in the end. I regret what happened with Lindsay."

"So why don't you get with this girl?" Michael asked. "I always knew it was someone, but I just didn't know who. I thought it was Ellen at first, but I was wrong there. I haven't seen you get nervous about a girl since second year. In fact Jaime is the only girl I've seen you really get nervous about. Wait, it's not Jaime again is it?"

"No," I answered. "It's not Jaime. She goes to Hogwarts, but things can be complicated between us. For now, I'd rather just not say anything. It's why I am just keeping things casual with girls. I don't want another Lindsay."

"But you could even just have had a shag with Ellen even if you don't want her. I'd take even that if I could," Michael said.

"Then you don't really love her," I said. "If you just want a shag from a girl, then I doubt you care about her. Do you think for a moment I love either of the Andrew twins? I don't even like Lydia Jewel."

"I want more from Ellen, but I would take a shag," Michael said. "I can't believe you don't even want to shag her. If Ellen told you she just wanted to shag and nothing else, would you still say she's a sister or no?"

"Would you say the same about Ashley?" I asked him.

"If it's just a shag with Ashley, I would take it," Michael said.

"Really?" I asked not believing this.

"In the past I would say no, and I even told Jared that I never would but it's actually Jared who convinced me. I'm curious now. If I were single, and Ashley came to me for a shag I would fuck her," Michael said. "Now that I've admitted that, I don't believe for a second that you would not have a no strings attached shag session with Ellen."

Michael had me there. If Ellen wanted just fun sex with me, I would have sex with her and nothing else, but I could say that about a lot of girls. There were ones I made exceptions, such as Tara but for the most part, I would shag a lot of the girls who wanted me.

"Fine, if it happened the way you said it, yes I would shag Ellen," I told him. "This never leaves the two of us however. I don't want her getting any ideas or false hope."

"I won't, I just wanted to hear you say it," Michael said with amusement. "I knew you would, you're only human after all. So about Ashley, are you going to talk to her?"

I nodded. "The next time we're alone I'll talk to her about it."

So when it was just her and me working together on Arithmancy, I brought it up to her.

"Are you really sure you want to keep things going on with Jared?" I asked.

Ashley shot me a look of annoyance and then sighed.

"I am not as vulnerable as you think I am," She told me. "I am not going to develop feelings for Jared. I know nothing is going to happen, and I also know I am not his only one. Besides, I know that you've been with Shelly Andrews a few times since the party."

I wondered how she knew that one. How was it that things like that got around this school? My friends hadn't known about it before, how did they know now? Who had told? The twins didn't tell people, and people usually only knew about guys because they were the ones who told. I hadn't told anyone except... and then I realized that Ellen knew. I'd mentioned it to her when she'd asked me where I'd been one evening. She still gave me jealous stares, so to get the message across I had told her the truth. When she'd asked if I'd been with her more than once since our discussion, I'd said yes. I gritted my teeth. If she was going to play games that way, I wasn't going to take it lying down. I was going to be more open around her about my sexual exploits. She was pissing me off now.

However, at the moment that wasn't the issue. The issue we had at hand was about getting Ashley to stop having sex with Jared.

"I know but I just want you to be careful. I don't want you to get hurt. I just don't understand it, that's all," I told her."Why not just get into a real relationship instead?"

"Well why don't you?" She asked.

"Because I don't know if I have a chance with the girl I do want to be with, so until I find another that I actually want to be with, this is one of my options," I answered with a shrug. I didn't see the point in hiding that I liked somebody anymore. Michael kept asking me who it was, and now Ellen was asking too. So I was more open about my crush even if they would never know who.

"You're worried you don't have a chance with a girl?" She asked looking very shocked. "Ben, you can get any girl that you want. Is that why you turned down Ellen?"

"I turned down Ellen because I just don't want to be with her," I answered. "I don't get why that is so hard for people to understand. She's a nice girl, and she is one of my best friends but all these idiots act like she is some kind of… well some kind prize to win. She's just like any other girl in our year, prettier than most, but just another girl. She is also like my little sister. If I kissed Ellen, I would feel like I am kissing Brianne or Brenda. It's just wrong."

"So why not take a chance with that girl?" She asked. "I've known you for almost four years, and other then my sister; you have never backed out on the chance of asking a girl out."

"It's different this time," I answered. "Especially now after the situation with Ellen."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

I just shook my head. "It's not important; I am just planning on moving on from her, and meeting a new girl. Anyway, like I said before, I am not judging you at all and I mean that but I really do think you should move on from Jared too. I think you should get a boyfriend. I just can't see anything good coming from your situation."

"If I find someone I will," She said. "For now, no boy since Denver has been interested in me. I haven't been with anyone since second year, Ben. With Jared, at least I am getting something even if it's just casual. I'm not like you or Ellen, if you break up with someone, you'll find someone else right away if you want to. The only dates I've had since my break up are set ups or probably even pity dates. Nothing has come from them. I know exactly where things are going with Jared and I am okay with that."

I didn't understand how she could still think that. We'd all told her that there were blokes out there who wanted her. I understood Ellen's point when it came to setting her up. All the blokes I'd sent her way had wanted to get to know her better. There were others who did want her, but they just didn't tell her. If Michael was right, apparently even Jared liked her. I knew Hank liked her, but because of Ellen he wouldn't go for her.

"I know you think you'll never find someone, but you don't know how wrong you are," I said. "There are guys interested; they just haven't asked you out. I don't know if they know about you and Jared, but they might take that the wrong way. You might be jeopardizing your chance with someone if they think you sleep around."

"Because guys don't do it all the time," she said sarcastically. "If they judge me that much then they are obviously people who don't know me too well, and I don't want to be with them anyway."

I couldn't argue with her about that one. She almost had the same attitude as Sam when it came to that. He'd told me there was no point in being friends or dating someone who judges about the random snog sessions. He and I were kind of talking again. I knew he was having sex, but I didn't say a word about it. I didn't want another fight between us.

"Well is there anyone you're interested in?" I asked.

She didn't answer and I knew we were all right. She still wanted Denver. I didn't want it to be him, but if we were right, then he was the one she should be with.

"Don't tell me it's still Denver," I said.

"We had a good thing," she answered "Melanie ruined a good thing, and maybe I have regretted not getting back with him when he asked. He's definitely moved on since then. He even dated Lydia Jewel. He's single right now, but it probably won't last."

"Well if you feel that way, I think you should do something about it," I told her. "End things with Jared and go for Denver."

"I still say you should go for that girl," she said. "I don't see what you have to lose."

"I have a lot to lose, believe me; I just don't think she is interested back. Her and I have a complicated past. We didn't get along for a bit," I explained.

Ashley's eyes widened when I said this, and I wondered if she knew I was talking about her. Usually she could read me well. I was worried this would bother her.

"It's not Tara is it? If it is, then I think you should move on," She said.

I had to admit I felt some relief but I was also disappointed, and a little annoyed too. Why did everyone always guess Tara? I knew she believed some day that we'd end up together, but so did others. I was so tired of people bringing up Tara or Ellen.

"No, it's definitely not Tara," I muttered. "It's better just to leave things the way they are for now. Like you said, I'll probably find someone. I just need to look harder that's all."

Ashley gazed at me for a moment.

"Wait, it's not my sister again is it?" She asked.

"No it's definitely not her. I am not twelve years old anymore you know," I said. People always guessed Jaime as well. I regretted my crush on her and that I had been so obvious about it. I wondered if people would find it odd that at one point I thought I had loved Jaime, and now I loved Ashley. "I don't like the way she's turned out. Back then I just liked her because she's beautiful but Brianne was right. I didn't know her well enough. I can't be with someone who slacks off in school like she did, and now she's dropped out. And no offense to her, but I don't like overweight girls. She's beautiful but I like being with thinner girls. I don't care if that makes me sound like a git. I can't help what I am attracted to. She's the opposite of what I want, Ellen too. Ellen might not drop out of school but I don't like her study habits or her lack of interest. I'm still worried about how she's going to do on her OWLs next year."

"Well I think the girl is an idiot if she turns you down," Ashley said.

"She's not an idiot," I said defensively. If only she knew she was talking about herself... however, she probably would agree she was an idiot. "People can't help it if they aren't interested back. It'd be the same as calling me an idiot for not being interested in Ellen. I'm sure people would. She likes me well enough, just not in that way. Anyway, Ashley I don't really want to talk about it anymore. We really should be studying for Arithmancy. Our exams are coming up so soon."

Ashley gave a small shrug. "Okay, but you're the one who brought it up."

I didn't answer but she was right after all. I just didn't like how it had turned to my relationship problems. It was supposed to be about her, not me. I felt some dread in my stomach as I realized that I had pushed her towards Denver. I had to do it though. I had to put her feelings before my own. I loved her, and I couldn't prevent her from being with someone she cared for. I knew the moment wasn't right for her and me anyway. I knew from experience that you couldn't be with someone when you had feelings for someone else. She still wanted Denver, and so she and I wouldn't work.

That didn't mean that I would stop showing love for her in subtle ways.

Ashley got back with Denver shortly after that conversation, and I felt depressed about this. I didn't let it show however. It had been me who told her to go for him after all. At times I wished that I hadn't listened to Michael however. I wished I'd just told her how I felt, even if she'd rejected me. As awkward as it had made it between Ellen and me at first, at least she'd aired her feelings. At least she knew that nothing was going to happen. I would now keep wondering "what if." Anytime I saw them holding hands, I always felt as if I'd been hit in the stomach by a bludger.

One good thing about it was that it made me concentrate on my studies more than ever. I did whatever I could to forget that they were together, and I knew this time they were having sex. By the time our exams were over, I felt good about all my exams, and I wondered if this would be my year to finally beat Tara.

We ended up having our usual end of year party. People were still celebrating Hufflepuff's win even weeks after. So that night, people were not only celebrating our win but the fact that it was the end of the year. I wanted to get into the alcohol right away. I finally understood why Michael went into drunken stupors this time of year. I knew he did it to forget the fact that he was going home. Even though the next day was awful, being drunk felt good.

So the moment that Jared pulled out one of his many bottles of firewhiskey (which I always wondered where he got them from) I was there to do shots. Ellen and Ashley were out having girl time, and I was sure they were talking about the new relationship. That night I was even considering finding a random girl and taking her to my dorms. I needed to let off steam, and as bad as it sounded, I found that shagging actually helped.

However that night, Michael ruined my plans for that. The night started out well enough, but as usual he got maggoty when he drank. I believed it started with his loss from a first year. We had our usual poker games, and I was one of the first to go out but I was also drunk. By that point, Ashley and Ellen had returned and had been in the game as well. The three first years, Alana, Rory and Derek played even though Michael didn't want them to.

By the end of the game, Alana managed to beat him with a Royal Flush which shocked most people. I couldn't even remember seeing anyone get that hand. Michael was a good player, so it was funny to see him get taken out by an eleven year old. Most people thought this was satisfying after he'd made a big stink about them playing.

So for the rest of the night he was in a bad mood. I was sure it was also because in a few days we were going home too, and he didn't want to go. He started drinking more after his loss.

"What a good way to end the year," Ashley said to me as someone let off some indoor fireworks from the joke shop. "We might as well enjoy while we can, next year we aren't going to get a moment of peace with all the homework we're going to get. I just hope I passed."

"We have gone through this every year, and you get better every year," I said with amusement. Every year she said that, and every year she improved. She'd gone from close to the bottom to above average. "You know you passed. You're going to be saying the same thing at the end of seventh year, aren't you?"

"Wouldn't want to break tradition, would we?" She said with a smile. "I am kind of worried about Arithmancy though. I really struggled with it this year. Last year it wasn't that bad, it was hard but I handled it. This year was worse and I only imagine next year will be a nightmare."

"Well you promised your mother you would at least keep it until after your OWLs," I reminded her. "Besides I thought you said you were confident about Arithmancy now. I bet you're going to be pleasantly surprised when you see your marks."

"Divination went really well though, I know I am not a seer but I do really well in it," She said.

"It's so useless," I said with a groan. I remembered having the same conversation with Lindsay. "Who cares if you did well in it? I would think you'd be concerned with the rest of the subjects to be honest."

"You didn't think it was useless when I gave you that tarot reading," she replied smugly.

"Only because you already knew the situation, anyone could have guessed it wouldn't work out with Nicole," I said feeling as if I'd had this conversation already. "She was just too jealous; it was Melanie all over again."

"Oooh, we should do one for the mysterious girl!" She exclaimed.

"No, I don't think so," I said.

"Well I do, I am just going to get my tarot cards just hang on-" but as she was saying this, something seemed to distract her. I looked over to see what could make her go from happy to angry. I felt anger myself as soon as I saw what it was. Michael was offering the three first years firewhiskey! "Oh hell no," she said and walked over to them. In a way I was glad because now she would forget about the mystery girl and the tarot reading.

I didn't have full faith in it, even if the girls had given accurate readings, but what if somehow it told her that it was her who I wanted?

"Michael! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" She shouted.

"What? It's a party," Michael said. "All they're drinking is butterbeer."

"If they don't want to drink, then you don't force them. You can't pressure them to drink like that," She said.

"Why not?" Michael asked. "We're all drinking and having a good time. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that they're eleven Michael! You are trying to get three eleven year olds drunk, do you not realize how wrong that is? They don't need to be drinking at their age!" Ashley shouted even louder now.

"Get off your high horse; gosh you are such a buzz kill!" Michael said.

"No, Michael you are such an asshole when you drink. You shouldn't be drinking at all because you clearly cannot handle your alcohol. How can you not realize that it's a bad thing to be offering eleven year olds firewhiskey?" Ashley yelled.

Everyone in the common room was quiet. It was the loudest silence I'd ever heard in there, especially during a party. Every single person had stopped what they were doing to watch. Someone had turned off the music. The prefects walked over to them now as well.

"I can't handle my alcohol?" Michael asked. "You're one to talk, who shagged Jared when she was drunk?"

I thought that was pretty low, it was true in a sense but Michael was the worse out of any of us. We'd all done stupid things when we drank. I'd snogged a third year once who was obsessed with for months afterwards. Ellen had taken her shirt off when she'd danced. None of those compared things compared to the terrible things Michael always did. Pressuring first years to drink was the worst thing he had ever done in all the years I'd known him.

"Enough!" Mallory, one of the fifth year prefects said. She was someone I'd snogged as well, and I knew she wanted me. I'd made it clear that I didn't want more from her than snogging or even shagging if it went that far but she still hadn't gotten it. She still asked for more. "Michael, you've been warned time and time again. If you cannot handle your drink, then you shouldn't be drinking. You're going to end up ruining it for everyone else. Professor Sprout never checks in on our parties because we've never got out of hand before. We'd rather keep it that way. It's supposed to be fun for everyone, and we prefects let you lot get away with drinking because we don't want to ruin anyone's fun as long as it doesn't get out of hand. This is going way too far."

"I don't see why I am the only one getting yelled at when she started the fight," Michael protested.

"Because you're trying to give three first years alcohol!" Darren, a seventh year prefect shouted. "That is going too far. I have been going to this school for seven years now. I have been a prefect for three. Never in my time have I seen anyone pressure the younger years to drink. I don't think anyone third year or younger should have alcohol, but we all know they sneak it. That's one thing, but it's another and completely wrong when someone who should know better is actually pressuring people. Guess what? You're cut off for the night. I truly believe you should go down to your dormitory so the rest of us can enjoy ourselves. Mallory has said it; you've been warned already about this. As soon as you start drinking, you become a prat and you pressure people. This is the worst thing you've done so far. I leave it to my fellow younger prefects to decide if you should be allowed to drink again at any party from now on! As I won't be here next year, I don't have a say but they do."

"I think you should be on probation," Mallory said and Michaels face went red. I was sure he was thinking about second year. I knew he'd never truly gotten over his probation. I think he still felt as if he had to walk on egg shells around us. "Next year if you drink and become maggoty again then you're cut off for the rest of the year."

"I- how is that fair?" Michael asked.

"How is it fair that you might ruin it for everyone else?" Ashley asked. "How is it fair that you are pressuring people to drink, and if they don't, you call them buzz kills? I can't believe you don't realize how wrong it is what you were doing, and that's why you shouldn't drink. Kids go through peer pressure as it is; how can you do that to three first years? They look up to us."

"You're supposed to be my friend," Michael retorted angrily. "Instead you're acting all stuck up."

"That's what I am trying to do here Michael, I am trying to be your friend," Ashley said, and she pointed to the three first years. "but they're my friends too, and I can't stand back when someone is bullying them to do something they don't want to do. Not even if that person is my best friend."

"Whatever," Michael said and he turned and headed to the boys dorms.

I knew we had to do something about him after that. He could never go that far again. I should have done something long ago, but I'd let it get that far. As one of his best friends, I should have intervened long ago.

The fun we'd been having that night was over. Afterwards, it became serious as we discussed Michael. Melanie ended up stepping in as well to threaten us. She told us that if she was named the girl prefect for fifth year, she'd put an end to all the drinking. It was that night we learned that Jared had shagged her, which I was shocked about. I thought the two of them hated each other. It was something I'd have to ask him later.

All I knew was that if Melanie was the other prefect, I would turn in my badge. I just couldn't work with her. I didn't care if that seemed childish. I wanted nothing to do with her. She'd caused too many problems for me and my friends. She'd ratted out my friends and me as well. I could tell the other Hufflepuff's were shocked when I announced this, but I was serious.

We even went as far as asking Mallory what would happen if someone we didn't want was picked. She used the opportunity to flirt with me, but I ignored it. She knew where she stood when it came to me, I'd made my feelings clear enough. She gave me a look of disappointment as she left, but I didn't care. I didn't want her. Why was it that some girls just didn't get the hint when you told them no? I could tell that Ellen was still hopeful, even if she was with Stan she still gave me the look of longing.

On the way home, we gave Michael the talk. All three of us told him that he had to cut back on the drinking and his attitude. He was depressed and actually listened. He even begged us not to stop being his friend. I couldn't believe he'd even thought that was going to be the case. The probation incident had definitely hit him hard. It likely had to do with the fact that Anne had also dumped him for good this time. She'd told us that him offering the first years alcohol was the last straw for her.

When we arrived at the platform, he didn't even want to go home with me and I found this as a red flag. Something wasn't right with him.

"Well, we'll see you later I guess," Ellen said to me once we got off the train.

"Write me as much as possible," Ashley told me and gave me a hug.

I still felt that swoop in my stomach. She and Denver had been pretty lovey dovey on the train though. It had been an awkward train ride for me. I was planning on using that summer to get over her for good. I'd finally beat Tara with grades, and I couldn't let anything distract me from that again. Ashley was with Denver and that was that.

"For sure, you guys have to come over soon," I said awkwardly and I turned away quickly to hug Ellen.

After the girls walked off, I went over to where my parents were waiting.

"Where is Michael?" Mum demanded after she hugged me.

"I don't know," I said. "He left before I could stop him. He told me to tell you two that he didn't need a ride."

"Do you think we should find him?" Mum asked turning to dad.

Dad shook his head. "No, but we have to do something this summer," and he turned to me. "We were going to take him home with us. I don't want him going home ever again. I'm working on officially becoming his legal guardian. We have enough proof that he isn't safe in that house."

"What do you mean safe?" I asked as we began walked away. "I know the house is disgusting and his parents are poor but is it really dangerous there?"

"It's not a good environment for a child to be in," mum told me. "That's why it's dangerous."

"We should have taken him in your first year when we knew where he lived," dad continued. "It's fine. Once you get a letter from him, I want you to invite him over. We'll sit down and talk to him about it all."

"Now, let's get home," mum said. "I have a nice snack waiting for you."

"Wait, what about Brianne?" I asked.

"She apparated home honey," mum said. "She didn't want to take her last train ride. She was emotional about being done school, and she didn't want to prolong it. She's been home for hours."

"I can't wait until I can apparate," I muttered.

We walked over to the car, my mind was on Michael. Where had he gone? Why did he need to go around London first before he went home? I sighed. I was going to write to him as soon as I got home. I figured it was best to get him to our place as soon as possible. I could convince him to work in Diagon Alley with me that year.

I mentioned this to my parents as dad pulled out of the parking lot.

"You won't need to work this year dear," mum said.

"Yes I do, I don't always want to rely on you," I protested.

"If you truly feel the need to work, you can work around the house this year," dad said. "You can help your mum out."

"Why?" I asked. "Diagon Alley isn't dangerous. I was fine last year and I was able to floo home everyday."

"Because we're going on vacation this year dear," mum said. "We haven't in years. I don't want you to start a job to only have to quit. We rented a summer home this year. It's our gift to Brianne. She really wants a family vacation before she travels."

"Oh okay," I answered feeling excited now. It would be nice to get away for the summer. I could relax and forget about Ashley, Denver and even Michael's problems. Perhaps he could even come with us. Then I remembered I promised my friends a pool party that year. I had to know when we were going and when we were going back.

"We'll be back in time for that," dad told me. "We're going for a few weeks. You can have your party at the end of the summer. It works best that way since that's when your friends come to stay for the last week."

"What about Michael?" I asked.

"He can come with us," mum answered.

So when I got home, I wrote to Michael. I didn't tell him what my parents were planning, I just told him that he should come over for the weekend. However, I never got a response from him. Ashley, Ellen and I wrote to each other many times and when I asked them, they told me they hadn't heard from him either. I felt worried. We'd be leaving soon enough for vacation and I didn't want to leave him in the house for much longer than he needed to be.

It wasn't until a couple of days before we were supposed to leave that I finally got a letter from him. It was addressed to Ellen and Ashley as well. He'd written one letter and then duplicated it so we'd all get it.

He'd moved out of his parents place the day he got home, and he was now living in Diagon Alley. Apparently Hannah Abbot was letting him work there for room and board. I immediately showed my parents the letter, and my mother swore. I could tell she was angry because she never swore. She didn't believe it was lady-like.

"Let's go," she said to my father and before I could say or do anything, they apparated.

About ten minutes later, they were back with Michael. He looked ashamed as they appeared.

"You are to stay here until you're done Hogwarts," mum told him. "There are no if's, and's or but's. We will find you if you don't come back with us."

"Mate, you should have said something to me," I told him. "Ashley and I have both been telling you for years that you could stay with us. You shouldn't have moved to Diagon Alley. I knew something wasn't right when you took off like that."

"We're going on vacation on Saturday," mum told Michael. "You may come with us."

Michael shook his head. "No, I can't ask you to take me. I'll stay with Ashley if she'll let me. I'll stay with you if you want me to, but I am not going on your family vacation."

He stared back at my parents defiantly, and I think even they could tell he was serious.

"I don't want to seem ungrateful, but it feels wrong to me," he continued.

"If Mrs. Dunning agrees," mum told him. "If she doesn't, you're coming with us."

"It's not Mrs. Dunning anymore," I told mum. "She got remarried last summer. It's Mrs. Alexander now and I'm sure they will agree," and I looked over at Michael, "but I don't see what the problem is. Why don't you want to come?"

"Because I don't feel right about it," Michael said. "It's your family vacation. We can write Ashley and ask her."

It turned out we didn't have to ask her. A letter from Ashley turned up. She spent a good amount of the letter telling off before inviting him over. Apparently her mother had told her to write and tell him to come over, and that she was going to get on the Knight Bus to get him if she had to.

"I guess that answers it," Michael told me as we read through her letter.

"You know you're welcome-" I began again but he shook his head.

"No, Ben the matter is closed," he told me. "I'll just go tell your parents that I can stay there. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Fine," I said icily.

So we wrote a joint letter to Ashley. My parents told him that he was more than welcome to take Barry's old room but Michael seemed more content to share my room with me. I didn't honestly mind this. I was glad to have a room mate. I actually missed the other guys when I got home. Sometimes I felt lonely sleeping alone. It was funny because it had been hard for me to adjust to having room mates at first, but now I missed them during the holidays.

"I think it's better if I stay with Ashley anyway," Michael told me. "I want to make things right with her. It will just be her and me, so I am hoping we can have a good talk. Things really haven't been right between us since the fight. I know it's mainly my fault, but I just feel she doesn't trust me. Sometimes I think she just talks to me because of you and Ellen."

"Sometimes I think you think that about all of us," I told him. "I still don't think you see us as your true friend when we are."

"Sometimes it feels as if you hang out with me out of obligation," Michael admitted. "I even felt that way in first year. You, Ellen and Ashley have always been tight and I always come last. I know I've been a prat over the years, and I am working on it but even before all that went down I felt left out."

"I don't hang out with people that I don't want to hang out with," I told Michael. "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be talking to you. I've missed both you and Ellen the last few years because you barely hang out with us. You were always with Anne, and Ellen was with whoever the latest boyfriend is. I'm guilty of that as well when it comes to girls but not as bad as the two of you. It should tell you something when my parents have basically adopted you."

"But your parents promised to take responsibility for me in the first year," Michael reminded me.

"They wouldn't if you and me weren't friends anymore," I told him. "If we hadn't made up in second year, you'd be on your own at the moment. Michael, I am your friend and so are Ellen and Ashley. I don't want you to forget that. If Ashley didn't care about you, she wouldn't be offering you her home. She would have just tossed out your letter."

"I know she cares about me," Michael said. "That's why I want to make things right."

"If you truly do, then you'll help me out with something," I told him.

"I'll help you, but even though I want to make things right with her, I still understand why you have to give in to her every need," Michael said.

"It's not about that," I said feeling annoyed. I did not give into her every need. "It's about the pool party. My parents told me that I could have it at the end of summer. Her birthday will be a week after that. It's her sixteenth birthday! Other than seventeen, sixteen is another birthday that girls make a big deal out of. I want the pool party to be a big surprise party for her."

"What about Ellen? Couldn't we do a joint birthday party for them? Her birthday is the eighth of August," Michael said.

"No, we can do something for Ellen, but I want the party for Ashley," I told him. "Maybe next year we can have a big sixteenth birthday for her. Please do this for me."

"Sure I have no problem with it," Michael said. "I can even get some fireworks this summer for it. I'll let the guys in on it. Does Ellen know?"

I nodded. "I wrote to her as soon as I came up with the idea," I told him.

It had come to me when I was writing out a list of names. I'd told my friends to send me the list of people they thought would want to come, and they had all come through. While I was making the invitations it occurred to me that I could have a surprise party for Ashley. She knew about the pool party of course, but not the reason behind it. She just thought that we were inviting people for a get together in the summer. I'd written to Ellen for advice, and she was all for it.

"I was going to tell you as well, but you weren't answering any of my letters," I continued. "I don't want everyone to know what we're doing but it's fine for the Hufflepuff's to know. I would appreciate it if you could help."

"I can try and get some things while I am in Diagon Alley too," Michael told me. "I'm still working at the Leaky Cauldron. I'll get Jared to keep them at his place. Do you think we should let Denver in on it too?"

"I suppose so, he's her boyfriend," I answered dryly.

"You still don't like Denver do you?" Michael asked.

"He's not the right one for her," I told him. "I only told her to get back with him because I knew she wanted him back."

"And we didn't want her with Jared," Michael added. "She's happier with him now. They seem good together."

"Right," I said. "Anyway, you can let him know if you want to."

Michael stared at me and raised his eyebrows but he didn't say anything.

"So let's just talk about the party," I said quickly.

"I thought that's what we were doing mate," Michael said with amusement. "More than likely he'll be over during the summer, so I'll talk to him. He hangs out in Diagon Alley all the time anyway, so he can help get supplies too. What about alcohol? Will your parents let us drink?"

"As long as we're not falling down drunk," I said. "They don't mind a few drinks. We just can't be stupid about it."

"Don't worry, I learned my lesson," Michael told me.

"Good," I said. "I do hope your visit at Ashley's goes well. I just want the four of us all to get along. I hate when there is tension in the group."

"And usually I am the cause of it," Michael said.

"Not always. I think all of us have been guilty of it. I think you and Ellen have done it the most, but Ashley and I haven't help. Ashley was pretty bad with her passive aggressive behaviour and some of her insecurities," I said.

"You really haven't been," Michael said. "Out of the four of us, I don't think you've ever caused problems for the group. Maybe except when you turned down Ellen, but that's all I can think of."

"First year," I reminded him. "I caused many problems for Ashley. We almost stopped being friends a few times."

"I think you've more than made up for it. You're different from that twelve year old kid," Michael told me and then he smirked. "It's amazing to think about how different Ashley is. Remember when we were planning her twelfth birthday? We knew we couldn't have a big party for it because she was so shy. Now we're planning a huge party with most of the fifth years."

"And my brother and sisters and their friends," I said. "Brianne wants her girl friends and some of her other friends over as well. She wants one last party before she leaves."

"So why doesn't she have her own pool party?" Michael asked.

I shrugged. "She could if she wanted to, but I guess she just wants to combine it. Maybe she just doesn't want too much trouble."

My parents were actually really excited about the pool party. Once I told them my plan to have it as a party for Ashley, my mother wanted in on the plans as well. My mother and father loved Ashley the most out of all of my friends. They liked Ellen and obviously Michael but my mother had fallen in love with Ashley the moment they met. My father often told me he thought she was a good influence on me.

He guessed how I felt about her as well. I'd asked him to promise not to tell anyone else, not even mum. When I told him my plans for the party he shook his head.

"Why don't you just ask her out already and get it over with?" He asked me. "You don't want to wait too long."

"She's my friend dad, and she's with Denver," I reminded him.

"For now," Dad answered. "I'm just telling you son, when she is single again to make your move. I know I would have regretted it if I'd never asked out your mother. We were friends before we dated too."

"How long did it take you before you realized you loved mum?" I asked realizing I didn't really know too much about their story. "Did you know right away?"

"No, I realized it years later. All the Hoofer men are the same when it comes to the love of their lives. Look how long it took Barry when it came to Tasha. Your grandfather was the same way," Dad answered.

"But how do I know Ashley is the love of my life?" I asked. "How did you even know I love her anyway?"

I'd never discussed it with my father before then. Before that, it was only Lindsay and the Andrew twins who I'd talked to about it. There was no one else who knew. So I didn't know how my father knew.

"I've seen you around her for years," Dad told me. "I remember in your first year when you'd protest about her, but I could see it even then. It wasn't until that summer before your second year that you truly showed how much you did. I figured you wouldn't realize it until your seventh year. Barry was the same way."

"I didn't realize it until after Christmas," I told dad. "I always just thought I was confused about her before then. I saw her with some first year Slytherin's and I figured it out. Things are probably more complicated with her than with you and mum or even with Barry and Tasha. I wasn't the nicest to her in first year. I made her believe that I could never like her. I've also been with so many girls. Even if she could get past all that, the biggest hurdle is Ellen."

"Because Ellen is in love with you?" Dad asked and I looked at him sharply.

"How did you-?"

"I told you, I've seen things," Dad said. "I can see how you kids relate to each other."

"Well that's the problem dad. Ellen confessed to me that she loves me. Ashley is too good of a friend to go for me because of that reason," I said. "Wouldn't we betraying Ellen by dating?"

"No," dad answered. "If you love her, and I know she loves you, even if she is with that Denver kid, it won't matter. At times you have to put yourself before anyone else Ben. I wouldn't be with your mother if I'd put my best friend ahead of myself. Your uncle Carter was in love with your mother, but she was never the right fit for him. If I had ignored my feelings for her, you and me wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

I sighed. "Fair enough, but dad she isn't interested in me," I told him.

"Ben, I've told you. I've seen the way you kids relate with each other," dad reminded me. "She loves you. She just hasn't come to the same realization that you have, but she will."

"And you think we'll live happily ever after?" I asked skeptically.

"I believe so Ben," Dad said with a smile. "She's the one I'd pick for you. I believe someday you'll be married to her, and you'll be bringing your grandchildren here on weekends."

I smiled at him. "Let's not get too far ahead yet dad. She's with Denver right now," I replied. "Even if you're right, it's still going to be a while. Denver and Ashley are happy right now."

"Right now," Dad told me.

"Just promise you won't ever tell anyone," I said. "I don't even want mum to know. I just need it to be a secret for now. Right now, I just want to plan a surprise party for a friend."

"Your mother and I will help, we've always liked her," Dad said. "And I promise I won't mention it, but I hope you take my advice son. Forget Ellen and everyone else. When she is single again, and after the right amount of time I think you should take a chance."

I nodded, but I wasn't so sure dad was right. There was so much at stake when it came to that. I didn't think Ashley and Denver were going to last either, but what if he was wrong? Lindsay and the Andrew twins also believed she loved me, but what if they were all wrong about this? What if I asked her out and everything went to hell? It had for Michael and Ellen for a while. Things could still be awkward for Ellen and me, and sometimes Ellen seemed intent on getting revenge on me for rejecting her. Ashley was still my best friend in our group. What if I ruined it between us? What if it ruined Ashley and Ellen's friendship?

I tried not to dwell on all this after we left. Dad had rented a nice beach house and the weather seemed good to us. We were able spend most of our waking moments outside. Usually Brenda didn't like to join us, but even she came out. It was nice spending the days with my siblings. Who knew when the four Hoofer siblings would hang out this way again.

"Still seems odd to me that you're going to be a fifth year," Barry said to me as we stood with the water up to our knees. The girls were busy getting tans. "I still remember when you were about to start first year. You'd been so nervous back then."

"I still remember when you were about to start your first year," I said. "I'd been so jealous and I was upset because you were leaving. You just saw me as a brat."

"I still see you as a brat," Barry said as he gave me pat on the head. "A much taller brat, but you're still a brat."

I smiled at him. We were the same height now, but I remembered when he'd been so much bigger than me. I remembered being five, almost six years old, and running along the side of the train with Brianne as it left the station, sobbing. Brenda had told us off for it. She'd told us that we were nothing but embarrassments and that she'd wished we'd grow up. I knew she was going to miss Barry too though, I could see the unshed tears in her eyes.

That was about the time when she'd changed. Before then, she'd had no problem playing with Brianne and me. Once Barry left though, she became uptight because she was the oldest. Brianne and I had been close as kids. Other then Sam, she had been my best friend. I'd been even more devastated when she'd gone off to Hogwarts than I had been with Barry. I'd never cared so much when Brenda went. It had been a year after Barry went, and all I had done was stand and wave. Two years later, I was eight, almost nine and I'd been almost the same as Brenda had been with Barry. I'd had unshed tears as the train left, but as soon as it was gone, I'd turn to mum and began to sob.

Now I was the last Hoofer sibling at Hogwarts. I was going to be sixteen years old. It was ten years since I'd been that little boy who'd run along side the train as my big brother left. Now the two of us were standing together all grown up. A war had gone on since then, and we'd both met the love of our lives. Barry was with his, and I wanted to be with mine, but I couldn't be.

"Did you imagine ten years ago that you'd be with Tasha?" I asked Barry.

"No, I was in denial about her for years, just as you've been in denial about Ashley," Barry said to me. "When Tasha and I met, she was just this little girl who was terrified of the wizarding world. Her parents had practically disowned her, well they still basically have. She almost left you know. She just wanted them to love her, but Nick and I convinced her not to. We told her that even if her parents treated her differently if she went back to the muggle world, she'd resent them in the end."

"I don't understand how parents can just give up on their kids like that," I said. "If I ever have kids, I will always love them."

"Some people are just heartless," Barry answered. "It's fine. Tasha knows that my family is her family. She got over it years ago."

"So you do see her as the one you'll marry?" I asked.

"I've bought the ring," Barry told me and he reached into his pocket to pull out a box. "It's why I asked you to come over here with me. I wanted to tell you first. I'm not going to tell Brianne or Brenda until after I ask her. I haven't even told Nick yet."

He opened the box to show me a big sparkling diamond ring. I felt excited for my big brother and I couldn't believe he was telling me even before Nick.

"Why me?" I asked. "I thought for sure Nick would be the first to know at least."

"Because I want you to be the best man," Barry told me. "Nick is my best friend, and he always will be but it's you that I want standing up there with me. He'll be a groomsmen of course, but it's you my brother I want with me that day."

"I'm surprised and touched," I said with a smile. I was nearly sixteen years old but I could feel tears in my eyes. I blinked them back quickly. "Of course I'll be your best man Barry."

"And I wanted to give you, my best man a piece of advice. I don't want any protesting either Ben, because even if you don't know it, I know you love Ashley. I just think you should make your move on her when you can," he told me. "I took my chance with Tasha after years of denial, and now I am going to propose to her. You told me that Ellen took her chance with you, and you turned her down. At least she knows now, and as much as Michael was- well still can be, a little git, he took his chance with Ellen. You can't use friendship as an excuse anymore. Your friendships survived all that. It will survive this as well."

"She's with Denver," I told Barry without admitting that I did love her.

"They won't last," Barry told me. "I'm serious Ben. You don't have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes when you're around her. I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. I don't want you having too many regrets when it comes to her later on."

I sighed and stared out at the lake. "Look Barry, this is about you and Tasha right now," I finally answered. "Don't worry too much about my love life right now. Let's just focus on yours at the moment."

Why was everyone so sure about Ashley and me and what was I doing that showed that I loved her? Michael had mentioned that I always put her needs first, but that couldn't be it? Barry and my father both told me that they could see it because I showed it. What was in my eyes that showed my love for her?

I decided right then and there that when the opportunity came up, I would tell her. I did know for sure that she and Denver wouldn't last. So I was finally going to take my fathers and Barry's advice. I would wait for the right amount of time, and then I would confess my feelings for her. Barry was right after all. Our friendships had survived Michael's love for Ellen, and Ellen's love for me. It had to survive this as well.

It made me wonder how it had come to this though. How was it that we ended up all loving someone we couldn't have? I knew there was that risk when it came to friendships with the opposite sex, but I still couldn't believe it had come to all this.

I was glad for the vacation with my family, even if it was likely the last we'd have. We were all going to be going in different directions after that year. Barry would be married soon enough. I knew Tasha would say yes. Brianne had just finished school and she would be leaving to travel the world once summer was over. I was starting my fifth year, and soon enough I would likely be the only child left at home. Brenda still lived at home, but she had to move out eventually. I just felt as if this vacation was a turning point for our family.

I think my parents felt the same way, and as much I cared about Michael, I was actually glad he hadn't come. It was just a Hoofer family vacation. Our parents treated us as if we were still children by spoiling us, but they respected our ages as well. When we wanted to go off on our own, they didn't protest. They didn't care if we sat down and had some drinks at the patio with dinner. Brenda had protested when Barry had handed me some wizards brew the first time.

"Because it's his first time drinking alcohol," Barry said as he rolled his eyes.

"He's fifteen!" Brenda said and looked at our parents "Mum!"

"Brenda, we all know he's been drinking," Dad said with a smirk. "I gave him a beer when we got home from the train station."

"Fifteen and sixteen is fine," mum said and then she kind of gave me a stern look. "Well, I know you've been drinking longer than that, but I've never said a word once you lot turned fifteen. A drink with dinner is fine Brenda."

"Right, and that's why that kid Michael is an alcoholic," she said.

"Enough Brenda," I said with irritation. "Maybe if you drank more, or tried to have fun more, you wouldn't be so uptight. Now leave me alone."

She glared at me, but she didn't say another word. After that night, there was no more argument about it. My parents, Barry and Brianne all saw me as nearly an adult, but not Brenda. I knew she still saw me as a little boy. I wondered what it would take for her to actually see that I wasn't six years old anymore. Even when I was twelve and in the first year she'd still seen me as a six year old. It was irritating beyond belief.

Sometimes during that vacation, Barry, Brianne and I would take off without her. It had been the same way when we'd been younger though. A lot of the time the three of us would hang out during the summers and she'd lock herself in her room. I didn't think we could go back to the time when she'd been carefree. I missed the days when she sat down down with Brianne and me to play our silly kid games. Why couldn't she just relax on the beach with us?

By the time it was time to go home, I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time. I was burnt and some of my skin was peeling, but I was content. I hadn't thought about homework, or my friends too much during that time. I was sad to leave. I even took some sand home with me in a jar to remember the trip.

For the rest of the summer, I tried not to think too much about Ashley and Denver. I worked on my school work and hung out with my friends when I could. We ended up getting together on some weekends. There was even a weekend when Ashley's parents (I still found it odd that her mother had remarried) were gone, and she'd invited a bunch of us over.

I hated the fact that she'd set the weekend up as a love-fest for her and Denver, but I went with it anyway. I still wanted her to be happy, and even if it caused me pain, I had to endure it. It was a fun weekend despite that. There were no parents around so we could do whatever we wanted. Michael almost ruined it the first night, but after that he behaved himself.

On our last morning there, we all received our Hogwarts letters. I wasn't shocked when I pulled out my prefect badge, but I was shocked and disappointed when Ashley wasn't made prefect. I seriously hoped it hadn't gone to Melanie. We'd all thought for sure that it would go to Ashley. Her marks had gone up again in fourth year, and she'd helped out with the younger years. She'd shown really good leadership skills. She basically had a perfect record as well. Other than in first year, she hadn't had any detentions. I knew Sarah and Melanie had more detentions than she'd had.

I glanced over at Ellen and wondered if she'd changed her mind about the exams. On the way to Ashley's she'd told me that she was only focusing on certain subjects that year. We'd ended up getting in an argument about it. We'd been annoyed with each other at first but we'd made up since then. I doubted she'd taken me seriously.

After that weekend, I started focusing on the pool party. Most of the people I'd invited had RSVP'd back that they'd be coming. Very few people knew that it was really a birthday party. My parents ordered a huge cake from a local bakery. Barry had taken me out to find her a gift. Even all these years later, she still liked accessorizing for Hufflepuff. It was easier for me to shop for the girls now. I knew what they liked, and I had some nice earned money, so I'd gone all out to buy her more jewelry for Hufflepuff, a dress I'd seen her admiring (I had to write to Ellen about her size) and a new school bag. She still carried around the old second hand bag she'd had since first year.

I was nervous about the party. I wasn't sure why. I knew she'd appreciate it. I knew things would go well too. The boys had bought the fireworks and the girls had bought the decorations. My parents had gotten everything else. We couldn't put up any: "Happy Birthday" decorations early on since she was staying the week at my place. My parents decorated the house and the patio the morning on the party.

I waited until the party was in full swing. I'd never seen so many people at my place before. Most of mine and Brianne's friends had shown up for it. Barry had invited Tasha and Nick as well. I knew my parents loved it though. They had always been the type of parents who wanted to have our friends around. I planned to be the same way when I eventually had kids.

Ashley was wearing a nice pink bikini that showed off her figure well. I tried not to look at her. I focused on the party instead. I walked around talking to different people, and to my relief I learned that Sarah had been made the girl prefect for Hufflepuff. I liked Sarah well enough, her only downfall was that she still remained loyal to Melanie. I had no problem working with her.

"I think we're ready," I said after a while to my parents. "I think people are probably ready to eat."

"Well go out there and let everyone know," Barry told me as he pulled out his wand. "I'll bring out the cake."

I took a deep breath and headed back out to the patio. Some people (mostly girls) were tanning, while others were in the pool, and some were just sitting around and talking. Ashley was sitting with some of the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor girls. I smiled over at her and then called out to everyone:

"Can I have everyone's attention please!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at me. I glanced over at Ashley and saw her eyes widened as Barry followed with the cake which he took over to the patio table.

"In a week or so it will be my best friend Ashley's birthday. So I decided to use this pool party to celebrate her birthday as well," I shouted. "She'll be sweet sixteen."

Everyone began to sing to her. Ashley stood up slowly and walked over to where I stood by the cake. She smiled at me, and I thought I saw love in her eyes. She blew out the sixteen candles that were on the cake and then looked at me again. I thought for sure there was love there. I looked over at Barry who was staring at the two of us. He had a smirk of amusement on his face.

"I can't believe this," she said softly.

"We planned this all along," I said as I nodded to Ellen, Michael and Denver who had joined us by that point.

"It was hard keeping it a surprise," Ellen added. "I almost told you a couple of times."

"I thought we should wait until we got back to school," Michael said with a wink. "We could party hard then."

Michael had mentioned this to me while we'd planned the party. He'd told me that even if my parents let us drink, we couldn't get as drunk as we could in the Hufflepuff common room. However, I'd wanted it to be with poeple outside of Hufflepuff as well. So I told her this.

"But I thought it would be better this way, so that the other people you knew outside of Hufflepuff could celebrate with you as well."

"I appreciate it, thanks so much," Ashley said and hugged me tightly. I tried not to think about the fact that she was half naked and hugging me while I was only in my swimming trunks. I prayed that nothing embarrassing would happen to me.

I just wished these feelings would go away already, but now that she was giving me loving looks, it was hard not to. For the rest of the evening, I would see her staring at me. I kept telling myself that it was just false hope because I wanted her to like me back. It made me feel a little sad, and that night I laid awake for a very long time. She was still with Denver, so she couldn't love me.

When we went back to school however, something surprising happened. Ashley and Denver broke up on the first day of classes. Ashley told us that it was Denver who broke up with her, but that she'd gone out to break up with him. I didn't know exactly why she wanted to end things, but according to her, he'd done it because of our work load and the fact that he'd also been made prefect as well. He didn't think he'd have time for her.

I didn't think she'd go off and hide in her dorms, but I thought she seemed a little sad after the breakup. I was planning on talking to her eventually about my feelings, but I had to wait. I was worried she'd be hung up on Denver for a while. I couldn't tell her how I felt so close to her break up. I wasn't sure what the right amount of time would be, but I figured at least a month or so.

Denver was right anyway. The moment we started school, we were given a huge amount of homework. I wasn't sure if I'd get much time for anything that year. I had to do well on my school work. Not only because I wanted to beat Tara, but because this was the year when our careers would be determined. I still wanted to be a Healer, and I knew I had to get top marks in my OWLs. Healers were only taken in if they had E's or O's on their OWLs and NEWTs. I had so much to do that year with prefect duties and Quidditch as well.

So even looking for a girl for a random snog would have to take a backseat to all that. Most of our first week was spent just working on school work or going to meetings or practices. By the time Friday rolled around, I had the same attitude my friends had when it came to partying. I needed to let off some steam. It had been a stressful week, and I wanted to forget about everything for the moment. I felt a moment of irritation when I saw Michael put an arm around Ashley.

I knew the two of them had grown close over the summer. He'd told me later on that they'd been able to talk about everything, and they'd both promised each other that they'd be better friends. I still remembered our conversation about him shagging her. They were both single at the moment, and I was worried he'd do something, so I glared at him. He looked back at me with shock, and then moved away from her. Did he know how I felt? I just hoped she would stay away from Jared as well. Rumour had it that he had a girlfriend but I didn't care. I didn't want her shagging up with anyone.

After a while, I just let myself go and I forgot about her. I began doing shots with the boys. Some people were playing poker, but I was in no mood for that. I just wanted a night to blow off steam. I didn't even care when Mallory came over to wrap her arms around me. Generally I didn't believe in public signs of affection but that night I didn't care. I snogged her right there and then in the common room.

"Ben!" Ellen said and she grabbed my arm.

I couldn't believe she was doing this. She knew she had no chance with me. I'd made it clear to her already. So as I pulled away from Mallory I glared at her.

"What?" I asked harshly.

"Ashley wants to talk to you," Ellen said looking a little hurt. "She's in the corridors. I told her I'd send you out to her."

"What does she want?" I asked.

"Go out there and you'll find out," she told me.

I thought I saw some sadness in her eyes, but she turned away quickly and headed over to Stan.

"I have to go see what she wants," I told Mallory. "She's my best friend."

"Don't be too long," Mallory said with a wink. "I can think of more fun that we could have tonight."

I smiled at her. "I won't be," I told her.

I knew what she meant, and a good shagging would cool me off. So I winked back and then headed out to find Ashley. I wondered what it was that she could want. I loved her, but I felt a little resentment for her at the moment. Her problems were interfering with my night of fun. I just wanted one night where I didn't have to think about any problems, not my own and certainly not anyone else's. However, she was my best friend and the girl I loved.

When I went out into the corridors, it was to find her sitting against the wall. She looked terrified when she saw me. My irritation disappeared quickly and I just felt concern. What had happened to give her that kind of look? I hadn't seen her look that nervous in a long time.

"Ellen said that you needed to talk to me," I said. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I can, I am only out here because she forced me to. Can't we just tell her we talked and let it go?" She asked me, her voice was shaking. I had to know what it was now. Had I done something wrong?

"No," I answered. "I want to know whatever it is that's bothering you. If you're angry with me I'd like to know what I did."

"I am not angry with you, but you might end up angry with me," she muttered.

"Then I need to know," I responded. "Whatever it is, I can handle it."

Now I needed to know more than anything. What could she have done that would make me angry with her? I couldn't think of anything that she would do, but the look on her face told me that something had happened. She took a deep breath as if preparing herself and then looked at me with sad eyes.

"I really like you Ben," she whispered. "Not just a little bit, but a lot. It's why I broke up with Denver."

I stared at her and thought over her words in mind over and over again. Had she said what I thought she really had? Was I a lot drunker than I realized? Was I hallucinating? I knew I wasn't though. She was staring back at me with that scared look on her face. I couldn't believe she'd actually thought I'd be angry over that. I smiled and without thinking about it, I leaned in to kiss her. I forgot all about Mallory and everyone else. All I could think about was the fact that the girl I loved actually loved me back. I was finally kissing her. I'd wanted to kiss her since the day she'd sat on my lap that summer before second year.

"I feel the same way," I confessed as I pulled away. "I can't believe you thought I'd get angry with you over this."

I felt nothing but happiness. I was happier than the day we'd won the cup. So far that had been my best memory, but this definitely replaced it. I didn't think anything for years to come could compare to this feeling. So how could she honestly believe I'd be angry?

"You didn't react to well when Ellen told you. I was worried you wouldn't feel the same way," she answered. "Besides you were just in there making out with Mallory. I wasn't sure if she was the mystery girl."

I nodded with understanding. I could see her point there. I remembered how nervous I'd been thinking about telling her how I felt. She was also right about Mallory, especially since I'd been planning to shag her after Ashley and I talked. Of course that wouldn't happen now, but it was a good thing. Ashley would be the only girl I'd be kissing or shagging from then on. That thought made me feel even more excited.

"You're the mystery girl," I said. "You're right though. This would be a lot better if I hadn't just been making out with some random girl. Mallory means nothing to me. So wait, did Ellen know?"

She nodded. "We were talking about it on the message parchments. She guessed I was upset, so I told her everything. She kept telling me to go for it. I saw you with Mallory, and I went down to our dorm, but she followed me. She told me to talk to you now. She threatened that if I didn't do it now, she was going to tell you herself," She told me.

"Well I am glad. I was worried it would bother her after last year. That just proves she never really felt anything for me then. I've just always thought you had feelings for Denver and I didn't think you'd ever go for me, not after everything that happened in first year," I said.

"I didn't think you'd go for me because of first year," she responded. "You used to insist that you would never date me."

"People can change their minds. I know I am going to hear about it though from everyone. They all told me I would change my mind, and I said I wouldn't. Barry is going to be thrilled," I said. "I honestly started to feel this way for you in the second year. It just didn't really hit me until last year. I just kept hoping it would go away but it didn't. I've basically been in denial since second year."

"So why did you push me to get back with Denver again?" She asked. "That's one argument I kept using against Ellen."

"I wanted you to be happy," I admitted. "I wanted to be with you, but if I couldn't be then at least you'd be with someone who could make you happy. I also wanted you to stop doing what you were doing with Jared."

"You're an amazing guy, you know that?" She asked.

I smiled. "I know I am. It's why you like me so much."

"You know we're going to get so many 'I told you so's' from people right. We've had so many people telling us that we would end up together and we've denied it for years. Melanie is going to be one of the first to tell us," Ashley told me but she was smiling.

"Good," I said. "I'll be happy to rub it in her face. As for anyone else, I am sure they are actually to be happy about it."

"Well except other girls. Tara still wants you. She thinks you two will end up like Lily and James Potter," she said.

"How so?" I asked. I didn't see how we could compare.

"Didn't you hear? They didn't get along until their seventh year when they were made Head Boy and Girl, and then Lily fell in love with James. James always wanted her but she wanted nothing to do with him. You two are the same way and you know you will be Head Boy and Girl," she explained.

"I am not ever going to fall for Tara," I said. "I believe I'll still be with you. I can't think of any other girl I want to be with."

I leaned over to kiss her again. I was going to be able to kiss her anytime I wanted from that moment on. I knew it was past curfew and that I was a prefect in full site of anyone but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was snog her for the rest of the night.

"I loved the birthday presents you gave me," she told me when we finally decided to go in, "but I think this is the best one you've ever given me. I don't think you could ever give me anything better than that."

"I can think of something," I told her with a wink before I kissed her again.

"Right now?" She asked looking hopeful.

As much as I wanted to shag her at that moment, I shook my head. I wanted it to be the right moment with her. I didn't want it to be at a Hufflepuff party, and it didn't feel right doing it the moment we got together. It was tempting of course, but I thought the longer we waited, the better it would be. I could see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Let's give it some time," I told her. "We're making a huge transition here. For the moment we can keep snogging until then."

She smiled. "Sounds good to me."

We were open about our relationship right away. I wanted everyone to know that I was with her. Some people were in shock, but most people weren't. Ashley was right when she'd said that we'd get a lot of "I told you so's" I had it a lot from the boys in our house. Some people were furious about the new relationship as well. I knew that Ashley was getting a lot of harassment from the girls who'd wanted me, and I was glad that I hadn't been with them.

Tara actually walked over and slapped me across the face. I was furious. I didn't believe in hexing girls, but I reached for my wand anyway to point at her.

"Hit me ever again, and I will send the boil curse at you," I said angrily.

"How could you get with her!?" She shrieked. "You and me are meant to be!"

"No we're not!" I told her. "And I think we should take a break from our study sessions for a while. I am just so pissed off at you at the moment."

"I'm sorry," Tara said and I could see her eyes shining.

"I don't care," I said angrily. "I don't appreciate being slapped. You had no right to hit me!"

And with that, I turned to walked off. I heard her call after me, but I didn't care. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to talk to her again. I couldn't tolerate girls who slapped their boyfriends. I hated girls who thought they could hit their boyfriends just because they were female. Ellen was one of those girls. I'd seen her slap Stan, and I didn't get why he tolerated it.

I had blokes actually walk up to warn me not to hurt her. I knew that there had been guys who'd liked her, but I found out just who did when they came over to me. Even Denver warned me which I found ironic considering he had hurt her a lot in second year. Jared even pointed his wand at me when he warned me, and I wondered if Michael was right when he'd told me that he thought that Jared loved her as well.

"Other girls can be so brutal sometimes," she said one evening after we'd been together for a couple of weeks. "I almost feel in danger by dating you. You're lucky I didn't have a line-up of boys who wanted me."

"You've had some," I assured her. "I've had a few come up to me as well."

"Like who?" She asked.

"Does it matter?" I asked with some annoyance. Why did she care? I didn't care which girls wanted me. All that mattered to me was that I had the girl I'd wanted since I was twelve.

"I'm just surprised that's all," she answered.

"I told you already there are boys who do want you, they just haven't told you," I said still feeling annoyed. When was she going to let go of those insecurities? "I don't see why it should matter, since you are with me but Ted had a thing for you, and so did Hank, Darren and Gary. There are probably more, but those ones and even your ex threatened that I had better not ever hurt you."

"I am still trying to get used to this," Michael said. "You know, I kind of always wondered if the two of you would end up together but at the same time I didn't think you would-" and he glanced at Ellen "how are you taking this anyway? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ellen answered. "Really, I am. Look, I did have feelings for Ben because I felt like maybe we had a connection but obviously I was wrong. If anyone is going to be with Ben, I am glad it's Ashley. Besides, I suspected it was her all along that he wanted. I think she wanted him too, but it was hard to tell because of Ben. She finally confessed when term started that she had feelings for him too. So I have been trying to push it along all week."

"Well, I wasn't sure at first," Ashley responded. "I was confused at first, but it was the pool party that made me realize it. I just felt bad because of Denver. When I went to go break up with him I was still deciding on whether or not I should tell the truth. He was the one to say we should break up, and so I felt it was only fair I admit the truth to him. The thing is he already knew. He told me that Ben and I are so stupid because we have liked each other for a while but didn't know it."

"I figured it out last year," I admitted. "I think it started in second year, because remember when I insisted Ashley was my best friend? Well, I think it was about that time that I started to like her. It wasn't until last year I think after Christmas break I really realized it. I saw her interacting with Slytherin first years, and I felt it."

"I believe it," Ellen said. "I think I even knew too, I was just in denial. It's just that I thought I could see us as the class couple. I have Stan though; I was just being delusional because of what we shared during Quidditch. I truly believe you two are a good couple and I also think you will last a long time."

"We plan to," Ashley told Ellen and then she smiled at me, and I grinned back.

I still couldn't get over that thrill. Every morning I woke up feeling happy because I was with her. Any time we kissed, I knew that I was the only one she was snogging. I still had girls coming up to me, and it felt great when I could tell them that I had a girlfriend. Some were annoying about it.

"Ashley would never have to know," Mallory told me as we patrolled the corridors together.

"No," I said furiously.

"Oh come on Ben," she said. "If it weren't for her, I would have shagged you that night. I've been with many blokes, and they've all told me I am good. I could have rocked your world. I still can."

"Well I am sure you can find someone else then," I said. "There is only one girl I want to shag from now on."

"Her? But she's so ugly!" Mallory said. "No wait!" She called as I walked off from her. "I'm sorry Ben."

"I want you to stop hitting on me!" I told her angrily. "I'm not single, and I won't be ever again. So find someone else!"

"You sound so sure of yourself. You're fifteen, and you think you're going to be with the same girl for the rest of your life?" She asked. "You're an idiot Hoofer."

"Well, I am a happy idiot," I said. "She's my girlfriend and that's all there is to it."

"Okay fine," she said sounding defeated. "Lets just patrol the corridors then."

She wasn't the only one, and it got frustrating. It was flattering to have girls interested. I knew a lot of guys would like to be in my shoes, and it had been nice when I was single. However, I had a girlfriend and she was the one I wanted to be with. It wasn't the same as it had been with the others. I knew Ashley and I had potential to last. Of course she had her flaws, everyone did, but for the most part, she was what I looked for in a girl.

Her major downfall was still her insecurities, but I could live with it. I'd known that when I'd fallen in love with her, and it was just one of those things I knew I could handle. As much as it annoyed me when she would insult herself, I could forget about it all when she came over to show me affection. I forgot about a lot of things when I held her on my lap and touched her in places I'd always wanted to.

It was nice having a girlfriend in the same house as well. We could hang out, but still get our school work done as well, and it being OWL year, we needed to put homework first most of the time. With my ex-girlfriends we'd spent some time in the library studying, but we didn't spend all of our time in there. We hung out as well, and snogged around the castle as well. With Ashley, we could do all of that but still work together as well.

I'd worried at first that Denver had a point when he'd broken up with her, and perhaps if she was in a different house it would be harder. However, even with prefect duties, Quidditch practice and homework, we still had time to spend together. In fact, with everything I had to do, it was hard to believe how fast time went. One moment it was the beginning of September, and the next we were celebrating my sixteenth birthday.

By the time it was October, people seemed to have forgotten about our relationship. They'd all moved on to Jared and Jolene his new girlfriend, and oddly enough Maisie and Xavier. Maisie and Xavier weren't dating but they were shagging. Most people believed it was her who started the rumours. She was the type of girl who always wanted attention.

I for one was glad, I was tired of people bothering us. It was ridiculous that some girls were so obsessed with me that they were willing to actually attack my girlfriend. I didn't get what it was about me. I knew I wasn't a bad looking bloke, but what else was it that girls saw in me? I wasn't egotistical and I could recognize when a guy was attractive as well. I knew there were plenty of boys in my year who were a lot better looking than me. Girls fell all over themselves when it came to Nathan, but I didn't think they had the same level obsession for him that they did me. I didn't think anyone else had to check their drinks in case they could be drugged.

Even though Ellen had pushed Ashley and me together, I had a feeling she too still wanted me. It made me angry because even though we didn't actually need her permission, she'd given it. Now she was giving me the love sick look all the time. It was wrong for her to go after her best friend's boyfriend, especially after she'd told Ashley to go for it. I just hoped I was wrong about it, because if she tried anything with me I would snap.

Ashley and I were going to have our first real date. We'd had picnics around the castle, but I didn't count that as a real date. This time we were going outside the castle, and I felt this was a turning point for our relationship. Sometimes even though we were snogging, I still didn't feel as if we were a real couple and sometimes I worried about this. Was it because we were friends first? It wasn't that things were awkward, it was the opposite. It was hard to explain, but maybe it was because it had seemed so easy for us to fall into a relationship.

On the morning of our date, I was very nervous. Michael smiled at me as I took my time getting ready.

"You know that the two of you will be fine," he said. "There were times when I wondered if you two would end up together, and I'd found it strange if you did. Now that I've seen you two together, I honestly think it was just meant to be Ben. It's hard for me to imagine you two not together even though it's only been a little more than a month. You two will have a good date today. So relax, and just have a good time with your new girl friend."

I smiled at him. "Have a good time with Sarah," I told him. "I really hope things work out with you two."

Ellen and Ashley had set him and Sarah up. They hadn't been so sure of it at first because of Melanie, but in the end we all decided it was best not to let her interfere. Sarah was a nice girl, and she could be good for Michael. She got along with all of us, but she was just too loyal to a traitor.

"I'm sure it will," Michael told me. "Her and I get along really well. I feel a little nervous, but there is always that first date jitters. I haven't been with anyone since Anne, but I think we'll be fine. I'm going to go up now. Just take some deep breaths and remember that it's Ashley. It's the same girl who leaned against you at our sorting, and it's the same girl you've considered your best friend for years. She is also the one you've been snogging for the last month, and whatever else," he added with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. "Just go Michael," I smirked. "If she's up there, tell her I'll be up soon."

As soon as he left, I took a deep breath and glanced in the mirror. I'd only had to start shaving that summer. Ashley liked either clean shaven or a bit stubble. I had debated that morning on whether or not I should shave since I had a bit of stubble. However, I decided just to leave it. A lot of the guys (including Michael) were jealous of us. They all wanted facial hair as well, but they hadn't grown any yet. Only Jared and me had. I remembered feeling the same way when I first saw Barry shave. I thought the stubble made me look a bit more grown up, and Ashley had told me it looked hot once.

So I turned away from the mirror and left the bathroom. The other guys were just getting up. Stan was rifling through his trunk. I always felt guilt when I saw him around Ellen. He truly loved her, but I was sure she still wanted me. I'd gotten that feeling when she'd asked when we were going to meet up. She knew how things were with our group. We always did our own thing, and then we met up with the other Hufflepuff's in the Three Broomsticks later.

"Have fun mate," Jared told me as I passed him on the way to the common room. "Don't be so nervous. It's Ashley. I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous about a girl."

"Apparently he was with her sister," Hank said with a smile as I opened the door to leave. "Must be something about those Dunning girls."

I turned to give him the finger but I smiled at him. Maybe Hank was right about that. What was it about the Dunning girls that made me nervous? Jaime had been the only other girl who had truly made me feel like this. Now it was Ashley. I shook my head and did what I always did when I felt nervous, I practiced Arithmancy equations in my head as I headed through the tunnels.

When I entered the common room, it was to find Ashley sitting in an armchair that faced our barrel top doors. Michael was standing beside her. When we saw each other, we both smiled at each other simultaneously. She got up and I quickened my steps to meet her. She looked beautiful. She was wearing black skirt with her pink winter cloak. I wondered what shirt she was wearing.

I pulled her close and kissed her.

"You look beautiful," I told her.

I thought I saw in her face that she disagreed, but I tried not to dwell on it. When would she take my word for it? She kissed me back instead, and we turned to leave, calling good-bye to Michael as we went.

We left the common room and walked together in silence. It felt almost awkward and I wondered why. Had it seemed awkward between Tasha and Barry? What about mum and dad? It had to be because we were going on our first date, and not about us. I tried to make small talk about Filch and things seemed almost formal between us.

"Why is this so hard?" Ashley asked after we passed Filches check."Why does it feel so awkward?"

"We've been friends for a long time," I answered since it was my only explanation. "I think a date feels like there is more pressure for us then before. It will get easier after today."

"Do you think it will work with us?" She asked. "Michael told me you were nervous, and I felt nervous today too."

"Are you having second thoughts about us?" I asked now worried that she was. I didn't want to lose her after all these years. What if she thought we were better off as friends? I didn't think I could take that blow. I would do whatever I could to convince her that she was wrong. Now that I had her, I wasn't willing to lose her. I'd fight for the relationship.

"No but I do feel worried," she answered and I sighed with relief. "I mean it seems like it is hard for us to make a conversation now, and I've never had trouble with that on dates, and I'm shy. Denver and I didn't go on too many dates, but when we did we weren't nervous around each other. What if we're mistaking our feelings in our friendship?"

"I know I am not mistaking my feelings. I have felt this way for you for a very long time. I think it's because it's our first real date. Our relationship is different from our other ones; we have a lot more at stake Ashley. All I know is that when I kiss you and when I am with you, it feels right. I feel like we're meant to be together. The other girls I was with, it was fun and I enjoyed being with them but it never felt like this. I am honestly not worried about us at all. I was nervous about this date, but I think we actually needed to have this conversation. I'm not having second thoughts, and I want this to work out between us," I told her.

"I do too," she sighed. "So where do you want to go first?"

"Lets get some breakfast, and then we'll walk around. I'd like to go to the joke shop and Honeydukes. We won't go to the Three Broomsticks until later, otherwise we'll end up having everyone bothering us," I told her and she nodded.

And after that, it seemed the awkwardness was gone. We began talking as we always did, and it was easy. I was right, we just needed to talk to each other about how we were feeling. We kept smiling at each other all the way there. I loved the fact that I could hold her hand all the way to Hogsmeade. She and I had gone there together before as friends, but now we were a couple.

When we reached Hogsmeade, I saw Ashley looking at Denver who was hanging out with Matt and Howard. I looked at her face worriedly. Was she having regrets, but I didn't see any love in her face for him. I thought she might have even look worried about him. I could tell that he looked sad, but she wasn't at all. I guessed it was just her worry for a friend. I knew he still had feelings for her, and she likely knew that too.

Luckily she looked away and moved closer to me, as if perhaps to show me that it was me she wanted. We went into the joke shop and began looking around. The shop was already full of students, but that wasn't surprising. As we looked around, our talk turned to her career choice. She'd decided recently that she wanted to be a school teacher, but for kids before Hogwarts. I thought it was good idea, but it would take a lot of work. I told her this as we looked at quills.

There was a line up for their latest product. They were these parchments where you could write to each other if someone had the one as well. As long as you had the number at the top of the parchment, you could reach anyone who owned it. Ashley had bought them for us at the beginning of the school year. I guessed they had gotten the idea from the coins they'd used for the DA, except they figured it'd be easier to use parchments. It was actually really clever. Everyone at Hogwarts wanted one now. It was easy for people to pretend to be taking notes, but instead they'd be writing to a friend.

As I looked at one of the quills, we were suddenly interrupted by Ellen and Stan. I felt instant annoyance with her. This was our first date, and she knew it. She could talk to us at any time.

"Oh hello you two," she said with a smile. She was looking at me more than she was at Ashley. My annoyance turned to anger.

"Hello," I said icily "What's going on?"

"We were just here to get makeup for her, and then we're on our way to Madame Puddifoots," Stan said. He didn't seem to notice the tension between us.

"Change of plans, why don't all four of us go to The Three Broomsticks!" Ellen said.

"We were all planning to meet there at three," I told her with even more annoyance. "So that's the plan."

"Why when we're all here? I saw Michael and Sarah outside, we can meet up with them too," Ellen said.

She was trying to ruin our date. When it came to me, she always tried to mess things up when she was angry with me. She would do whatever it took to make me upset. I remembered back when I'd told Ashley that she was passive aggressive but when it came to me, Ellen's behaviour was the very definition of it. She didn't care that she was going to ruin Ashley's date, it was all about getting revenge on me. She was still angry that I had rejected her, and now I was dating her best friend.

I remembered our talk when she'd told me she hated when the less attractive girl won. This was the very situation. She'd lost to Ashley, and she couldn't take it. The thing was, Ellen could be so selfish that she didn't care who she hurt. This time it was her best friend.

"I think Michael wants to spend more time with Sarah alone," Ashley said. "We should leave them be."

"Well he can always meet us at The Three Broomsticks later," Ellen answered with a shrug.

"Ellen, we're meeting them at three," Stan said. I could tell now that Stan was angry too. He shot me a glare as if it were my fault. Perhaps he did know how she felt after all. "So let's stick to our plans. We still haven't been to Honeydukes. You can hang out with your friends any time. We hardly have alone time, so let's take advantage of it. I'm sure they want their date to continue as well."

"Exactly," I said through clenched teeth as I glared right into Ellen's eyes. You are not going to ruin things for me Ellen. I hoped she got the message. I was going to talk to her later.

Ashley looked upset as well, and I knew she knew as well that Ellen still wanted me. She stared at Ellen with some hurt in her eyes. I didn't think she realized the deceit that Ellen was capable of until that very moment.

"Come on Ben let's go," Ashley said and she grabbed my arm. "I wanted to look at some of the Wonder Witch products."

I turned and walked off with Ashley following. I was furious with Ellen. She'd never done this with any of my other dates. She knew that with Ashley it was the real thing however. I broodingly stood and watched Ellen as she and Stan picked through the snackboxes. I couldn't believe she would buy those things when we were in OWL year. I said this to Ashley who just gave a shrug and told me I couldn't let it get to me.

We discussed her some more even though I wished we weren't. I hated the fact that her presence had interfered with our date. We'd been having a good time before Ellen came along. Ashley asked if I was ready to leave, and I was more than happy to get away from her. I hoped she didn't want to go to Madame Puddifoots. I brought this up to her and she smiled and shrugged.

"I didn't want to go there anyway," she said. "I always think it feels awkward. I don't see why people need a public place to make out."

I shrugged. "I usually feel the same way, but girls do love it there. I'm glad you don't want to go. There's a place up the road we can go to get lunch and then we'll head to Honeydukes."

After that, the rest of the date went pleasantly well. We both seemed to be in agreement not to talk about Ellen again for the rest of the day. We talked about everything else. I asked her more about her past before Hogwarts. She'd told me some things, and I knew she hadn't any friends. There were some things I didn't know however, and I wanted to know everything about her. So we both talked about everything that had gone on before we started school.

I found that even though we'd been best friends for over four years, we still didn't run out of things to talk about. Barry had told me that was a good sign when it came to girls. If you didn't run out of things to talk about, you would have a good relationship. It was hard to believe when three rolled around, and we walked over to the Three Broomsticks.

"Before we get in there with everyone," Ashley said to me and she paused outside the door. "I just wanted to thank you for today. It's been amazing, even with what happened with Ellen."

"There are plenty more to come," I told her and I wrapped an arm around her. I didn't want to talk about Ellen. I hoped after the incident in the joke shop that she'd learned her lesson. We kissed before we entered the Three Broomsticks. Our alone time was over now, and I knew people wouldn't want to leave us alone for the rest of the day. I have to say, other than Ellen, people were good about letting us have our date. We'd seen our fellow Hufflepuff's all day, but no one had approached us.

There was a corner booth we always managed to get since third year. I wasn't sure how it was that we were always lucky to get it, but we always did. When we entered the pub, it was to find that everyone was already there. We ended up having to grab some chairs from another table since there was so space left on the benches. It was fine with me, I hated being squished, or having to get up anytime someone needed to go to the bathroom.

Michael was at the end of the booth. He looked really happy. I was pleased to see that he had a huge glass of butterbeer instead of real alcohol. He was getting better about drinking too much.

"So how did it go?" I asked him.

"Really good," Michael answered. "She's over there with Melanie and the Ravenclaw girls." And he nodded to a table on the other side of the room. "We're going to go out again."

"She's a great girl," Hank said. "It's just too bad she hangs out with Melanie."

"I wonder why Melanie wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw," Ellen suddenly spoke up, she sounded extremely bitter. "She'd fit in well there. All Ravenclaws are nose to the book snotty backstabbers."

"They are not," I said, I was still angry with her for trying to ruin our date earlier. "Some of them are quite pleasant. They aren't all like Tara you know."

"No but I'm sure you'd fit in well there," Ellen said and my anger grew more. I was sure I was turning red because I could feel my face and neck heating up. "I think you're lying when the hat said that Hufflepuff was the only house for you. You'd do well with the backstabbers in Ravenclaw. You and Melanie did make a perfect couple, so I don't understand why you ended things with her."

I clenched my fists. If it weren't for the fact that she was one of my best friends and girl, I was sure I'd hex her. If it was anyone else I'd have my wand out, but I couldn't do it. Not only because I didn't believe in hexing girls, but because I knew she was just lashing out at me because she was angry and hurt. She always did that when it came to me. As upset with her as I was, and I was furious with her, I didn't want to ruin our friendship by losing my temper too much. I was however going to have it out with her.

"Ellen what is your problem today?" Stan asked looking just as upset as I was.

"Nothing," Ellen said angrily.

"I get along well with most of the Ravenclaws," Jess said seeming to be oblivious to all this, even though I was sure that everyone else knew what was going on. "It's not really fair to judge them all. It's the same as when people judge all the Slytherin's, or even all of us."

"Ellen, can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked her.

"No," Ellen said. "I'm just going to go back to the castle, I'll see you later Stan."

She got up and moved past a few people to get out of the booth. Everyone watched her go, and I decided that this was the moment to do it. I was shaking with anger and I didn't want to take it out on the wrong person, so I turned to Ashley.

"I'll be right back," I said to her, and she gave me a nod of understanding.

I stood up and followed her. It was getting more and more crowded in there now, but it usually did at this time of day. I pushed my way through people, and ignored the ones who called out to me. I reached the door, and found Ellen standing by the window. She was hugging herself and sobbing. For a moment I felt bad and I wondered if this was the right time to do it. I took a deep breath, she needed to hear it once and for all. She wasn't only attacking me, but she was ready to betray her best friend if it meant she could be with me.

"What the hell is your problem Ellen!?" I asked her.

"Leave me alone!" She said.

"No! I am sick and tired of this bullshit from you! I told you last year that I did not want to be with you! Get over me already!"

"We're meant to be together Ben!" She yelled back as the tears ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away. "How could you lead me on all these years like that then?"

"How did I lead you on Ellen? I did nothing!"

"Yes you did! You were always hugging me, and all those moments with Quidditch and-"

"Ellen, you're one of my friends. That's all you will ever be to me. All I did was be your friend all these years. If I wanted to be with you, I would have gotten with you when you asked me out! So get it through that thick skull of yours and stop it already! I can't believe you would go after me when I am dating your best friend!"

"You two are betraying me!" She yelled back.

"No we're not! You were the one who told Ashley to go for me. You basically set us up together. We never needed your permission, but you gave it to us. You can't go back on that that now! How can you possibly do that to Ashley?"

"How can you pick her over me? She's ugly. I am the prettiest in the year. The pretty girl always gets the boy. You are hot, and I am hot and we should be together and she should be with Denver or- or alone because she is so ugly!"

"How can you say that about your own friend?"

"Because it's the truth Ben! She's my friend, but she and everyone else knows that she ugly. I am just stating the truth and it's ridiculous that you are with her. Out of the two of us to fall for you, how can you pick her!?"

"Because I love her," I said. "I've loved her since the summer before second year. You might be a very beautiful girl Ellen but I don't see anything with you beyond friendship. If I ever wanted to be with you, it would be a shag and dump, just like the rest of the girls I've shagged. I would just use you because you're hot but your personality is ugly!"

Ellen was sobbing harder now. "How can you say that. We're supposed to be friends."

"Right, we're supposed to be friends and yet here you are trying to sabotage my relationship. I'm dating your best friend, and you're trying to ruin her relationship as well. You're also standing here and calling her ugly. You're such a wonderful friend Ellen!"

"That's all you see me as?" Ellen asked. "A shag and dump."

"Yes, if we were both single right now, I would never date you but I would shag you and dump you," I told her harshly. "I would never see you more than a shag mate as I saw the Andrew twins and Lydia."

Ellen stared at me with shock. "How can you say that? We're soul mates Ben."

"No we're not Ellen. You are my really good friend, and it's about time you realize that. I don't ever want you to interfere with our relationship again!" I told her. "Ashley is my girlfriend, and you're going to have to get used to that."

Stan suddenly appeared and he looked furious.

"Can I talk to Ellen alone please?" He asked me.

I nodded. "Go ahead, I've had my say," I told him and I looked at her. "I'm serious Ellen. Get over me, and don't ever pull anything you pulled today on us. I meant it."

I walked off without looking back. When I entered, I could see everyone staring at us, and I knew that they had all been watching us by the window. We had been in full view of our booth. I could tell that Ashley look worried. Michael was sitting in my chair, but the moment I entered, he got up and returned to the bench. I took my seat beside Ashley and wrapped my arm around her.

"Sorry about that," I told her.

"She still want you mate?" Michael asked.

"Later," I answered with annoyance. I was not about to tell everyone sitting there about our conversation. I wasn't even going to tell Ashley everything because I didn't want to ruin her relationship with Ellen. I would give the gist of the conversation.

"We all know she asked you out," Dan said. "And it's no secret that she's always wanted you. Everyone guessed that there would be a love triangle between you, Ashley and Ellen. We've all been saying it since the first year."

"I still don't want everyone to know our conversation, even if you were all watching," I told him. "And how did you know she asked me out?"

Everyone glanced over at Michael who gave a small shrug. "I let it slip out. Sorry, we were all talking about it, and I said it without thinking. He had to find out sooner or later. I didn't mean to sell her out, but it's not right for them to stay together if she wants you. Stan already knew anyway. I have a feeling he's about to break up with her."

I felt angry with Michael now as well. Why did he feel the need to air our business to everyone? He always did that. A lot of the time it was an accident, but it was still annoying. As angry as I was with Ellen, I didn't want her betrayed either. Even though I knew she wanted me, I knew that she would be devastated when be broke up with her. It was why I'd never told Stan, even though I felt bad for him, I couldn't betray my best friend of four years. I knew Michael hadn't meant to blurt, so I relaxed. One fight with a friend was enough for one day.

"I guess you're right. She's going to have to get over me though. I thought she was since she pushed Ashley and me together, but I guess not," I said finally.

"Ellen asked you out and you turned her down?" Jared asked me. "Do you know how many guys would get with her if they had the chance?"

"She feels like my little sister," I told him.

No wonder Ellen thought she should always get the bloke. When it came to people like Jared or Michael, or most of the guys sitting there, they acted as if she were some kind of goddess. None of them could understand why I would pick Ashley over Ellen. I couldn't understand why they would pick Ellen over Ashley besides the fact that Ellen was prettier. I was sure by that point that Jared loved Ashley, so why would he choose Ellen over her? If he loved Ashley, I would think he would use her as a shag and dump.

I could see everyone exchanging looks. I just wanted the conversation over now. I didn't want people discussing how wondering Ellen was and what a mistake I made when I knew I hadn't. For the first time when it came to girls, I'd chosen correctly and no one at that table could convince me otherwise.

Madam Rosmerta came over to hand out drinks. I ordered a butterbeer. I wondered what Ashley drinking because it most certainly wasn't butterbeer. I had a feeling she was drinking alcohol.

"What are you drinking?" I asked.

"Pumpkin juice and rum," she told me and she almost sounded defensive.

"Why are you drinking at this time of day?" I demanded.

"It's late in the afternoon Ben, and it's a Saturday. It's not as if we don't have drinks in the Common Room this time of day if we have a party," she me and then added: "Cheers," and then she took a sip.

"Right," I said but I was worried. I knew she was drinking because she was stressed from what had just happened. Normally she just drank for fun, she'd never drank from stress but I also knew she liked the feeling alcohol gave you. It was the reason why Michael drank so much. I didn't want my girlfriend doing the same thing. It made me even more angry with Ellen who had ruined what had been a good day.

Ellen and I weren't speaking at all. I could tell Ashley was trying to hang out with Ellen and me so neither of us would be left out. It bothered me not only because I wanted my girlfriends attention on me, but because of what Ellen had said. Ashley would not want to talk to her if she knew what she'd said, but I couldn't tell her. I didn't want to ruin their friendship, so I kept my mouth shut about it.

"I still can't believe you chose Ashley over Ellen," Michael said to me four days after our date.

"You were the one who told me that we looked good together," I told him annoyed.

"I know, and I still think you two are perfect together," Michael said. "It's just before you and Ashley got together, you had an opportunity with Ellen. She's so damn hot, and you're only human."

"Michael, I love Ashley," I told him. "That's all there is to it. Maybe if I didn't have feelings for either one of them, and I was just choosing on looks alone, I might. However, I've loved her since second year. Sheila and Shelly are more beautiful than Ellen, and if you did not have feelings whatsoever for Ellen, you'd choose one of the twins... or likely both. If Ellen came up to you right now and told you she loved you, you would end things with Sarah because you love her. So I don't want to hear this from you."

"Okay, okay," Michael said, "but I've been meaning to ask how it happened. I know we are different from the people we were in first year, but I still don't get it. I can tell you love her now, but I don't get what changed. You used to insist you would never date her. I still haven't forgotten how you reacted to that Valentines Day incident."

"I was twelve years old Michael," I reminded him. "You were an even worse idiot at eleven and twelve than I ever was."

"I know that," Michael said. "But I still haven't changed my mind about Ashley. You have. Something had to have happened to make you change your mind. It was around Easter."

"It was then when I realized how much of a prat I was being to her," I said. "She was always loyal to me, and you for that matter. We were both prats to her, and I talked to my brother and sister about everything. They made me realize just how stupid I was being. I was putting her looks over the kind of person she was. I mean, she could be annoying with her whining, but in all honestly that her only downfall. Besides that, she would put you, me and Ellen before anyone else. You and I made fun of her all the time. I made her feel terrible when it was her turn to go to Slughorn's party. So after that I decided I had to do what I could to make it up to her."

"Yeah I get that," Michael answered, "and I've been doing the same but I still haven't fallen in love with her. I think Jared is in the same situation to he honest. He decided to make it up to her, and he's in love with her too, even though he won't admit to it. So I just don't get it. Ellen isn't a bad person. She's beautiful, smart, funny, outgoing and she's loyal most of the time as well. She has her moments where she is childish but for the most part, she is great as well. So how was it that you fell for Ashley but not Ellen. If we're going by personality here, you can't say Ellen has a bad one. You're friends with her, you have been for over four years."

"I can't explain it Michael," I said. "Remember that day when the girls had their makeovers in the summer before second year?"

Michael nodded. "Yes, it was then when I realized that Ellen had feelings for you. Ashley sat on your lap, and she looked so upset and I felt furious with you. I knew it wasn't your fault, I was just jealous that Ellen wanted you and not me."

"Well that's when I realized I wanted Ashley," I told him. "I don't know what happened there, but she sat on me and I wanted to do things to her. I think I loved her before then, but it was that moment that I figured it out. I stayed in denial for years. I kept calling them my confused feelings for my best friend, but then I saw her with those Slytherin first years last year. It was then I realized I couldn't deny it. I realized I loved her and I always had. I don't know what happened between that Easter break and the moment she sat on me, but it was between those times when I fell for her."

"You know, I was jealous of you for years," Michael told me. "I wish you could have told me how you felt about her. I was always worried that you and Ellen would end up together. Why didn't you tell me? It's not because of my attitude towards her was it?"

"No," I answered. "I never wanted anyone to know. Anyone who did know, guessed. It's why I broke up with Lindsay, and she guessed. The Andrew twins guessed, but they've known since first year anyway. My dad guessed and Barry have always known. It's actually because of my attitude in first year that I stayed in denial about it. I was embarrassed about the boy I used to be. I didn't want to tell everyone I loved her after all that. It's probably why Jared won't admit it either... that and she's with me now, so he really can't. I never wanted Ellen, and I thought you knew that."

"No," Michael said shaking his head. "You and Ellen have a connection, even if you don't realize it. Now that I've seen you and Ashley together, I've realized it's just because you two are really good friends. I don't have that either girl. I always noticed that connection with Quidditch for you and Ellen. So I always worried you'd realize that you wanted Ellen, and you'd end up together. When Ellen confessed her feelings for you, I thought you were going to say yes. I was so relieved when you said no to her."

"So why do you keep questioning me about it?" I asked him. "You keep telling me I should have taken the opportunity with her."

"Because if I were in your shoes I would have, even if I didn't love Ellen, I still would have," Michael told me.

"But I love Ashley," I reminded him.

"I know, and I get that now but I didn't know that at the time," Michael said. "Even now I guess I'll never understand it."

"Because you love Ellen," I stated. "If you did not love Ellen, and there was someone else that you did love, you'd understand. That's all there is to it Michael. I can't make it any clearer than that. Someday it's going to happen for you though, and you'll get it."

"But Ben, how do you know for sure?" Michael asked me. "You're sixteen years old. More than likely I am mistaken about my love for Ellen. I still have that hope, but everyone says someday I'll meet the one who will make me forget about her. So how do you know that it's Ashley. What if you're making a mistake and it ruins your friendship?"

"I just know," I said. "I worried about it as well, and I've even written to my family about it, but even with my worries, I just know. They say at sixteen you could never imagine the one you'll marry, but Michael I can see myself putting a ring on her finger. I could see it before we got together. With my other girlfriends I never had that. Lindsay would have been perfect for me if I hadn't fallen in love with Ashley, but I still don't think I could have pictured putting a ring on her finger. I can see us being married and having kids. Barry told me once that it's not about the person you want to spend the nights with, but the one who want to wake up to everyday and spend the day with. Even if you're just sitting around and doing nothing but enjoying each others company. He has that with Tasha, and I have that with Ashley."

"Then you're lucky," Michael said. "I was telling you the truth when I said you two look good together, and it's hard for me now to imagine you apart. It's just you're sixteen. If you two truly feel that way with each other, you're lucky. Not too many people have that, especially as teenagers."

I shrugged. "You can either meet the one at sixteen or at twenty-six. It doesn't matter. There is no time line when it comes to love. Some people might end up being older than that. Look at Ashley's old baby-sitter Rachel. She's gorgeous but she has a baby now and she's alone."

"Since when are you so wise about it?" Michael asked me.

"Since I talked to my dad and brother," I told him. "I've been asking a lot of advice about this because it was a big step to date my best friend. I love her though, and that's all there is to it. Believe me, I never would have guessed in a million years that I'd be with the one when I turned sixteen but it happened. At twelve I would never have guessed it would be Ashley, but here we are four years later and I just know."

Michael smiled. "Well then, all I can say is congratulations mate. I hope I'll be invited to the wedding."

"You know you will be," I told him.

"Isn't it usually the girls who imagine the wedding and not the bloke?" Michael asked with amusement.

"Eventually the bloke must as well," I told him. "He's the one who asks. Barry was imagining it in his seventh year with Tasha and that was before they were even together. Let me ask you something though. You love Ellen, so could you imagine marrying her and having kids with her?"

"No," Michael told me. "I just imagine us as being the way we are now, you know as friends but we also get the benefits of snogging and shagging as well. I imagine she has an amazing body."

I didn't answer him, but I thought I had my answer. Michael truly didn't love Ellen, it was just lust with him but it was going to take some time for him to realize that. Obviously he had never loved Anne either, because if he had, he would have forgotten about Ellen. I knew someday that he would meet a girl that would make him forget about her. I hoped it would be Sarah, but some how I doubted it.

"Jared wouldn't tell me," Michael began interrupting my thoughts, "but what is she like? I mean Jared keeps going on about how amazing her body is and-"

"Michael," I said now irritated. "I am not having this conversation with you!"

"You two aren't any fun," Michael said with a sigh. "I was always open with details about Anne."

"You willingly gave them out," I told him. "No one ever asked. I'm not giving out any private information about Ashley. Besides," I added with a shrug, "we haven't shagged yet. We are waiting for that."

Ashley and I hadn't actually discussed it yet. We'd come close a few times, but I always stopped it. I could tell that she was disappointed by this. I wanted us to shag at the perfect moment, and after a good amount of time. I didn't want our first time to be from a Hufflepuff party. I wanted us both to be sober for it. I felt bad now that I'd had sex, and I wished Ashley had waited as well. The two of us had both shagged people just to get it out of the way.

At the same time though, I wanted to give her as much pleasure as possible, and I'd learned a few things from the twins. It wouldn't be awkward when we finally did have sex. We'd both know what we were doing. So there was that benefit. At nights, I thought about what it would be like to finally have sex with her.

"Really?" Michael asked with surprise. "I thought you two would have taken care of that the first night. Ashley and Denver did."

"Michael I don't want to talk about Ashley and Denver," I said. "I don't want to know about what happened with Denver or Jared. She's my girlfriend now."

Michael looked amused but he didn't say anything else about it. He just shook his head and began working on his school work. I didn't understand why he would insist that he didn't want Ashley, but then he tried to talk about her sex life. I remembered when he admitted that he would shag her if he could, and I wondered if he actually wanted her more than he let on. Perhaps he was embarrassed about how he used to be in the past with her. I doubted he was in love with her, but from the way he talked, I was sure he actually was curious about her.

A couple days after that, Michael brought up the big question. I was surprised he had held back all week, but I figured he'd been waiting for when all three of us were together. We hadn't all hung out since that day in Hogsmeade. Either it was just Ashley and me, or Michael and me.

I decided I wasn't going to get into everything, and I'd even gone through my head what I would say to them if they asked. I was going to give them the gist of it. I was never going to reveal to Ashley or Michael what exactly she had said to me, or what I'd said to her. After going over it in my head a few times, I finally came up with a good enough story for them.

"I asked her if she still had feelings for me, and she said yes," I lied. "I told her she was going to have to get over it. She started to yell a bunch of nonsense about how Ashley and I were betraying her."

"Maybe we are," Ashley said. It was something that I had been scared of. I could tell that she'd been stressing about that Hogsmeade day ever since. "Ellen liked you first. When it comes to friendships, you're not supposed to go after someone's love interest. I am being a really bad friend by being with you."

I felt angry with Ashley, and it was the first time I could remember in a while that she made me angry. So far we'd been getting along well. If we'd had any arguments they were just minor disagreements that didn't make either of us annoyed or angry, and we usually just laughed it off. All I knew was, if Ashley ended it because of Ellen I would never forgive Ellen and I'd be upset with Ashley for a long time.

"Ellen is being the bad friend," I said to her. "She gave you her permission, not that you needed it, and I have no interest in her. Even if we hadn't gotten together, I still wouldn't have gone for her, as you know since I turned her down in front of you."

"I know," she answered. "But you're not supposed to go there with friend's exes or crushes. It's an unspoken rule."

"Really?" I asked and now I glared at her. "So we're supposed to deny how we feel about each other for her? She's the one who wanted someone else while she was in a relationship, and she's the one going after her friend's boyfriend. She told both of us that she is okay with it. Even if she weren't, it's not right for us to break up for her benefit. In case you forgot, Stan is Hank's best friend and Ellen is his ex."

"It's not the same thing," Ashley sighed.

"No it's not the same because Hank and Ellen actually dated," I retorted.

"They were twelve," Michael muttered.

"It doesn't matter," I said glaring at Michael for even bringing that up. I didn't get what his point was. He needed to keep out of this part of the conversation. "Ashley, don't feel guilty about this. Ellen is in the wrong here, not you and not me. She's just going to have to get over it. She's fifteen years old; she is going to move on. You thought you were in love with Denver and you were wrong weren't you? Don't let her ruin a good thing. She'll come around, she always does."

Ashley was quiet for a moment and I wondered what she was thinking. If she tried to end it with me, I was going to snap. I hadn't spent all these years wishing to be with her only to let Ellen end it like this. At that moment, I knew if Ashley told me it was over that Ellen and I simply couldn't be friends anymore. I didn't want it to come that, but I'd be willing to end a four year friendship if she caused the love of my life to break up with me.

"You're right," she finally said. "I just really hope this doesn't ruin our friendship. You know that if we fight, it's going to affect all four of us. Do you remember second year when we got in that fight?"

"If you and I break up, I don't know if I want to be friends with her anymore anyway," I told her honestly. There, I had finally said it.

Ashley and Michael stared at me. I could tell that they were both shocked by what I said. Michael was shaking his head.

"That's going a bit far isn't it mate?" He asked.

"No, it's not," I told him. "Not this time. My other girlfriends didn't mean as much to me. This is a relationship I want to work, and Ellen knows that. We've talked about this quite a few times. If she was a good friend of mine, she would understand that and put her feelings aside."

Ashley and Michael didn't say another word about it, but I could see them exchanging glances. All I wanted was for the carefree days back that we'd had before that Hogsmeade trip. Ellen had put a bit of wedge in our relationship since that day and I was upset. I had enough to worry about with OWLs and prefect duties. With Ashley I'd been able to relax a bit when it came to homework. I'd stopped stressing so much, but now it was back and it was all Ellen's fault.

I wrote many letters home about it. Not only to my father and brother but even to my sisters and mother as well. Someone had to give me some advice about it. Barry would likely know more than anyone. I didn't think he ever had a love triangle with Nick when it came to Tasha, but he was the one who'd helped me the most in the past. Dad would understand better than anyone.

One morning after a Slug Club Halloween party, I found Ashley sitting at one of the tables by herself. I was feeling a little nauseated and I didn't have any of the hang over potions, so I had to deal with it myself. I'd had a good supply of them, but someone had stolen some from me. At first perhaps I thought it was Michael, but Stan told me recently that he'd seen Ellen lurking in the boys dorms. I wondered if she'd stolen them.

He refused to talk to her anymore, and for about a week or so he wouldn't talk to me either. It had been Jared and Hank who pointed out to him that it wasn't my fault since I'd turned her down. At first I'd wondered if it had been the fact that I hadn't told him the truth right away. However, we'd had a short conversation about it. It had been because she'd wanted me and he had been slowly falling in love with her.

"Look, I know she is one of your best friends, and you're more loyal to her than me. So I get why you didn't tell me. Before Ellen and me dated, I had the same situation with Hank. I've never told him," Stan said to me. "I know it's not your fault though. Michael told me that you even told her that she should break up with me if she wanted you. So thank you for that."

"Well I'm sorry about Ellen," I said. "I know you really liked her. I would be pissed if something like that ever happened with Ashley."

"Not bloody likely," Stan said. "That girl is so much in love with you. She always has been. It's my fault as well. I knew even when I got with her. I just didn't expect she'd go behind my back and ask you out. That's what bothers me the most."

After that conversation, Stan and me were on good terms again. I was glad because it could be awkward sharing a dorm with someone you were fighting with. After that, it was just an unspoken agreement between us to never bring it up again. I tried not to talk about it with anyone except in my letters. I knew it bothered Ashley, so I didn't want to talk about it around her.

I walked over to her and saw some pictures of a baby sitting on the table. It still always surprised me that muggle photos didn't move. I'd seen pictures in Ashley's house plenty of times. I loved looking at the photos of her when she was little, but every time I was shocked when I saw the still photos. I imagined that the baby pictures were of Rachel's baby, but I had to ask anyway.

"What are these?" I asked.

She jumped and glanced up at me startled. Obviously she hadn't heard me approach. She'd been reading the letter intently though. She didn't say anything yet, and I thought she looked a little green. I wished Ellen had stolen my potions, we could have them if she hadn't.

"Still can't get over the fact that muggle photo's don't move. Are these pictures of Rachel's new baby?" I pressed on.

Ashley nodded and smiled. "And guess what? She asked me to be Godmother. I'm really surprised that she would pick me of all people," she said excitedly.

"I'm not, she has a lot of respect for you," I said and yawned. I really wasn't surprised. I'd see the way Rachel was with Ashley. She loved her and I thought she loved her even more than she did Jaime. I hadn't forgotten our first meeting. "She's only ever had good things to say about you when we've talked to each other. I still haven't forgotten how much she scared me in my first year when she told me off. She loves you."

"It's not just that," Ashley continued. "She thinks that Hayden might be magical. She said that his half-brother showed magical signs, so either the father is magical or the brother is muggleborn. That's part of the reason she asked me. If Hayden turns out to be magical too, I can help out a lot."

I'd be surprised about that one. What were the odds that the baby would be magical as well? It would be great if he was, but somehow it didn't seem likely. Ashley had never met anyone magical until she came to Hogwarts, so it just didn't seem possible that her baby-sitter would have a magical child. Stranger things did happen, but I just didn't think he would be.

She glanced at me nervously now, and I wondered why. She took a deep breath and I knew she was going to tell me something that she thought would bother me.

"Rachel is writing back to me because I wrote to her about us," she said looking guilty. "Well not just Rachel, but to my mum and sister as well. I just needed insight about our situation with Ellen. They all think that we are doing the right thing. All of them have told me we are meant to be together, and if it was anyone else but you they'd say end it."

I smiled now understanding her nervousness.

"I wrote to Barry and my sisters as well," I told her. "Our situation is so complicated and Ellen isn't making it any easier. She was the one who pushed us together, so I can't believe she is so upset now. She's now upset with Michael as well because she found out it was him who told Stan."

"There's a difference between knowing we liked each other to seeing us together though," Ashley answered. "She seemed supportive until she saw us on our first date. When Denver and I first broke up, I thought I was okay with him dating until I actually saw him on a date with another girl. I know my situation is a little different but I think her feelings for you are stronger than just a crush Ben. I think we are just going to have to give her time to deal with it."

"I do feel bad," I said ignoring what she'd said about Denver I pointed at the letters on the table, "but these letters prove that we should put ourselves first. Everyone thinks we were meant to be together. I'm just sorry that she and Stan broke up. She needs someone to support her through this. We should be the ones to support her but as she doesn't want to be around us, and she isn't talking to Michael now I don't know what to do."

I knew that I didn't want our friendship to be over. I was hoping we could get through this. She wasn't even into Quidditch as much as she had been, and that bothered me. Everyone knew that she was passionate about the sport. She was obviously feeling depressed. I knew her school work was suffering as well, and I felt bad about what I'd said about shagging and dumping her. Not only did the bloke she loved insult her, but she lost her boyfriend on the same day. She was also fighting with her friends even though Ashley was trying to make things right with her.

"But at the same time, it's not fair to Stan for her to stay with him," Ashley said. "I feel bad for her, but Stan really liked her a lot. I wouldn't want to be with someone who had feelings for someone else. It's why I decided to end things with Denver; it wouldn't be fair to him."

"It's the reason I had trouble finding a girlfriend," I answered. "I didn't think it would be right. I was hoping I could get over you, and then meet someone. It's one of the other reasons why I told you to go for Denver. I thought once I saw the two of you together, I would move on. It didn't work though. So I guess maybe Ellen felt the same way. I really don't want us to fight."

"Well you two already are," Ashley said. "And you said you would end your friendship with her if it affects us."

"If she brings it to a point where you and I end up ending it, then yes I will. I hope it won't come to that. I hope she moves on," I told her, "I am not prepared to stop dating you just because she's upset. She's my best friend, but so are you and I've always felt closer to you."

"I know," Ashley said. "Let's not worry about that now. Can you help me with this Arithmancy assignment please?"

I was happy about this. Arithmancy was always a welcome distraction and I wasn't in the mood for food. At Christmas I would have to remember to stock up on more, and to hide it where she couldn't get it. Perhaps I could get Ashley to charm my trunk so that no one else but me could open it. It was spell I could never get down, but she could. I was glad that she was good in class, but I had that competitive streak in me when it came to school work. It bothered me that my girlfriend was better than me at Charms. She'd gone from that pessimistic girl to optimistic and she could usually do the spell after a few tries. She understood Charms in a way I never could.

Not much longer after that, Ashley came to Michael and me looking worried. We were working on our school work, and arguing in a good natured way. We stopped as soon as she approached us however. She sat down and glanced at us.

"Ellen is going to come and join us," she said as she sat down.

"She finally wants to join us?" I asked wondering if that's why she was worried. Did she think I wouldn't want her there?

"I think she's always wanted to, but she didn't think we wanted to," she answered. "Ben, she's in bad shape. We should have talked to her sooner. She's lost a lot of weight, she hasn't been eating, her marks have gone down and she is just depressed. I told her to have a shower and to come sit with us when she's ready."

"I'll get her the food," Michael said and he got up. "You're right; we should have gone to her sooner."

He quickly walked off to get her food.

I felt worried now. When Ashley had gone through it, we'd done whatever we could to help her. With Ellen, we hadn't. It made me think back to what Michael had said years ago when he'd said I coddled Ashley. I sighed and looked at her. "I would have if I'd known it was that bad. I just thought she was avoiding us. You know how she gets sometimes. I didn't even realize she wasn't eating. I should have noticed. We're going to have watch her, and make sure that she's eating."

"She's worried that the Hufflepuff's hate her like they did Melanie, and for the record she heard you say that you'd end your friendship with her," Ashley told me.

"I'll talk to her later," I said figuring her and I should have a good talk anyway. I wanted to take back the shag and dump comment. I'd been angry at the time. "For now let's just see if we can get her back to normal."

Michael returned with some sandwiches and pumpkin juice. I was sure Ellen would take a while, and I did hope she would join us. It was normal for her to take a long time when she wanted to get ready. There were times when we'd get impatient with her. That was something I was glad about when it came to Ashley. She could take a while too, but she always started early so she'd be on time.

When she appeared, I felt my stomach sink. She was so pale and thin. She had dark shadows under her eyes. She looked as bad as Ashley had, maybe even worse. Neither girl could afford to lose weight and I hated it when they skipped meals.

"Eat," Michael told her as soon as she sat down. He looked at her with worry as well.

"Thanks," she said to him with a small smile and then she looked over at me, "I'm sorry Ben, I really wasn't trying to ruin your relationship. I had hopes you'd come to me, but I wasn't going to try and break the two of you up."

"I know," I said but I wasn't so sure she was truthful but I was grateful for the apology. "And I am sorry too. We didn't treat you very well. We should have noticed sooner that you weren't just avoiding us."

I had more to apologize for, but I couldn't do it in front of Michael and Ashley. I still didn't want them to know our conversation.

"It's fine, really," Ellen answered. "I just didn't think anyone wanted to talk to me. I was angry at first, but after a while I was upset."

"And I am sorry I told Stan," Michael spoke up. "It slipped out. Everyone was talking about it in Hogsmeade and I spoke without thinking. I'd take it back if I could."

"It's probably for the best anyway," Ellen said with a weak smile and she looked over at Ashley and me. "I do still have feelings for you Ben, but I will never wreck your relationship either. It's just when I saw you two on a date, it actually really hit me. I'll meet someone else, I know I will."

I was glad to see her humbled, and I was also pleased she admitted to it with Ashley there. It was something she needed to be upfront about when it came to her best friend. I was sure she'd meet someone since all the blokes drooled over. She just had to be open about meeting a new guy and she had to get over me for good.

"Just finish eating, and then we can catch you up on your school work," I told her. "We're just going to forget about the Hogsmeade day."

"Sounds good to me, not the school work but I'd like to move on," Ellen answered. "This is the last I'll ever bring it up."

I glanced over at Michael to see that he was staring at her. Anyone could see the love in his eyes for her. Ellen really needed to get over me and he had to get over her. I just hoped Sarah would never see that look. I felt bad for my two friends. I looked over at Ashley to see that she was staring at them with concern as well. I hoped things would work for them as well as it had for us.


	6. Moving On

After that day, things with Ellen improved. I could still see her giving us sad looks, but she worked hard at supporting our relationship again. I could tell that she even missed Stan. There were times when she would stop doing school work just to stare at him. It reminded me of when Melanie did it to me. Stan was still unforgiving about everything. If he saw her looking at him, he would glare at her and turn away. If she tried to talk to him, he would walk away. I figured it would be a long while before he forgave her. I couldn't blame him even if I felt bad for her.

For the first time in memory, Ellen actually asked me for help with some of her school work, and I put her first before Ashley who I believed was doing fine. The only class that she was struggling in with was Arithmancy, the rest she was getting passing marks in. I always checked her school work when we got it back, and I was even disappointed to see her getting O's in Charms while I was getting E's. I believed she was actually top of the year in it.

She confirmed that she was one snowy day in Herbology class. She came over to us excitedly after talking to Professor Sprout. I was glad to see a smile on her face. Earlier she'd been a little gloomy because of the weather. Often she got this way even if she tried to hide it from us. I knew it was because it was around the time her father died. Although she told us that he'd died in a car accident from a snow storm, I kind of wondered if there was more to the story. I thought perhaps her mother was hiding something more about it from the girls.

"What were you Professor Sprout discussing?" I asked her.

"She told me that I'm improving every year. Even though it's fifth year, she said it's my best year so far. I'm surprised because of our work load. I'm actually beating you in Charms," She answered.

"I'm not that surprised to be honest," I told her even though I hated it because of how competitive I was. People often said that Charms was one of the easiest subjects when it came to spell work. So why was it that I was good at Transfiguration but I struggled with Charms? "Our last test you got an O in it," I tried not to sound bitter when I added the last bit. I liked that she was confident. It was my issue, not hers. I didn't want her to feel she was upsetting me by doing well.

"I've only had a few O's in Charms though," She said,

"I've only had E's," I confessed trying to sound natural. "Charms is one class I can't seem to get top marks in. I don't know why that is."

"Well I am glad to see you are getting beaten in something," Ellen said but good naturedly. "I'm good in this class, I have a green thumb but you are still doing a lot better than I am."

"Because of the essays," I told her, which felt like the millionth time. "You have a way with plants I'll never have, but if you put more effort in your essays you'd do better."

In all honestly, Ellen should have been the top of the year. Professor Sprout had told her that she hadn't seen a student take so well to plants since Neville Longbottom. However, Ellen still wrote her essays to get them over and done with. If she actually put effort into it, she would be top of the year. I'd told her once that she could beat Tara in the class if she worked harder, but she didn't seem to care. She was competitive with Tara but not when it came to school work.

"I thought I'd get O's in Defense," Michael said with some disappointment. "Professor Fraymen told me I am the best dueler in the year. I'm even better than some of the sixth and seventh years."

"Again with the essays and school work," I said feeling amused with my two friends. "They don't only grade you on your spell work. The two of you would do better if you put more effort in your homework."

"Well I find that ridiculous," Ellen said as stubborn as ever. "As long as we can perform the spells, I don't see why our written work should matter so much. I don't care about the essays, I care about being able to do magic and that's it."

I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but I held back. It was pointless to argue about it with her. We'd been arguing about it since first year and she still hadn't changed her mind. So I would be wasting my breath. It wasn't only because of that, but because I just didn't want to fight with her. I just wanted our friendship back to the carefree way it used to be. I didn't know if it ever could be, but I was willing to try.

Ashley seemed to realize this as well.

"I could have been prefect too this year," she said as if to change the subject. "Professor Sprout said she didn't think I could handle the workload just because of second year. I regret that so much. I wish I hadn't gotten so depressed over a break-up. I feel embarrassed when I look back at it now."

"Sometimes it's hard not to be," Ellen said. "When you feel sad, sometimes it's hard," she glanced at Ashley and seemed to hesitate before she continued. "I hope you don't get offended, but I'll be honest with you now. I felt bad for you about Denver dumping you, but I did think you were overreacting and even being dramatic. I knew it was your first boyfriend and he was a prat to dump you. I just remember thinking that it wasn't the end of the world, and you needed to just suck it up and move. Now I get it, and I am older than you. You were only thirteen and with your first boyfriend. I am fifteen."

"You lost more than I did," Ashley said. "You're not exactly offending me. People didn't bug me after the break up but once they knew I was better they told me I'd over reacted," and she smiled at me and placed a hand on my arm, "even Ben told me that I was over reacting after a while. You were all right of course. Now when I think about it, I wish I could get a time-turner just so I can tell my second year self what that cost her."

"No point in dwelling on it Ashley," Michael said. "After Anne dumped me, I did the same thing. It's easy to look back on it and think that you're an idiot, but at the time it's hard not to feel upset about it. At any rate, I think it's a good thing you weren't made prefect. You might not being doing as well if you had to worry about prefect duties as well. Right now you can do all your school work, and then just relax. I think you would have made a good prefect but in all honestly, it's stressful enough without worrying about what the younger students are doing."

"True enough," Ashley said.

Secretly I thought Michael was right as well. I would have loved to have her as my fellow prefect, and I thought she'd do a great job but I was glad she wasn't made prefect. She was working harder on her school work that year than any other year before. I doubted she would have been able to put as much effort in it if she had to do prefect duties too. There were nights when I seriously considered quitting Quidditch. I loved the game and I loved the release it gave me but I really wanted to be a Healer. I had to have top marks to be one. You had to have at least E's in all your classes but they obviously preferred it if you had O's. Sometimes I felt that prefect duties and Quidditch held me back.

At times I wondered if I should give it up once I became a NEWT student. I would always love Quidditch, but I wasn't as passionate about it the way Ellen was. Ever since Slughorn had told me that I could be a Healer, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanted to be able to heal people from their injuries. In my spare time, I looked up healing spells and I even practiced on myself if I hurt myself. A first year had skinned her knee recently when she'd been running, and I'd been able to fix it for her. She'd smiled up at me gratefully and it made me feel good. I wanted to keep helping people like that little girl out.

I wished that Hogwarts taught more about Healing spells. In Potions we at least learned healing potions and antidotes to poisons, but that was it. I knew in NEWT year we'd be learning more about antidotes. We'd have to be able to guess the antidotes even by taste. I knew Ashley wanted to keep Potions, but I had to wonder how well she'd do in it. She'd improved since first year when she hadn't been able to mix a basic potion, but there was more to NEWT level than making potions. She planned to keep every class that she got an OWL in and I disagreed with this, but she could be stubborn.

Professor Sprouts compliment seemed to put even more confidence in her however. She'd been working hard that year, but as time went on, she seemed even more nose to the grind stone. There were times when she would join Tara and me for our study sessions. I knew Tara hated it when she joined us, but after we'd made up after she slapped me, I knew she was scared we'd fight again. She knew by that point that I wasn't going to end things with Ashley for her. So she even went as far as helping her, and I was shocked when she asked for her help in Charms.

Close to Christmas break, Ashley finally asked the question I had feeling she'd been holding back on since we got together. We'd come close to having sex so many times, but I always stopped it and I could see the disappointment in her eyes. Once I thought I even saw unshed tears in her eyes, but she hadn't said anything. It seemed she could no longer hold back.

We were walking around the corridors on our own. People didn't like to leave us alone, so it was hard to get alone time. I was at the moment trying to think of a way to invite her to Christmas. It was a big step to invite her. I wanted her to meet Sam officially who I was on speaking terms with again. She'd only met him a few times, but they'd never had a real conversation. I wanted him to actually approve of her. He'd never liked my other girlfriends. I was sure he liked her, but at times he would complain about her friendship with Denver. I worried sometimes it would start another fight between us.

"Ben?" She asked tentatively interrupting my thoughts. "Why haven't we had sex yet?"

I'd imagined her asking this question many times. She was looking at me with worry. I smiled at her reassuringly. Often I worried that she thought maybe I wasn't attracted to her. She still wasn't confident about her looks, and I wouldn't put it past her if she was thinking I didn't want sex with her. I tried to show her how much I loved her everyday, so it did bother me in a way that she would think that. Barry had recently told me that love wasn't about sex when I'd told him my worries, and I knew he was right.

"Because we both had sex so quick with people we weren't even interested in," I explained as I moved over to put an arm around her. "I've been holding back, believe me I want to have sex with you," I assured her, "I just don't want it to be meaningless."

"It won't be meaningless," she answered sounding a little hurt. "It's us."

"I know," I told her and I stopped to pull her closer. I wanted to take that look off her face. "But I still want our first time to be better than a random hook up during a Hufflepuff party, or somewhere in the castle. I want things to go right with us," I explained in a soft voice.

"So when do you expect the right moment will be?" She asked still looking worried.

"Over the Christmas holidays," I told her feeling happy that I could not invite her to our Christmas party. "I want you to come over, just you, and have Christmas dinner with my family at some point. You can stay the night. Your mum will let you won't she?"

"I don't know, I think so," she answered not sounding so sure. "As long as it doesn't interfere with our Christmas dinner."

"We have our family Christmas dinner on the twenty-sixth," I told her. "We have the big family Christmas at my aunts on Christmas day but we just have our family one the twenty-sixth. My parents would love to have you over. You don't know how happy they are that we're together now."

"And they won't mind us sharing a room?" She asked skeptically.

"Nope," I said but I wasn't so sure about that one. She'd always slept in my room, but that was a friend. I would worry about that hurtle when it came.

"Well I'll have to ask my mother," she said, "but I doubt it will be a problem. I'll see if you can come over for dinner sometime as well."

"Sounds good," I said and I knew there wouldn't be a problem there. I was still in contact with her mother after all, and she'd even told me she wanted me to come over for dinner at some point. "I hope you haven't been too worried about why we haven't had sex," I added with a worry because I'd seen her close to tears.

"In a way I have," she answered sounding hurt. "I thought it was because of our transition because we were friends first. You slept with random girls, and you know my past. So I couldn't understand why we haven't yet."

"We will. Best to take things slowly in my opinion," I explained. "I honestly believe as everyone else believes that we will still be together even when we're done Hogwarts."

She didn't answer and I didn't know what to think of that. Was it bothering her that I thought we'd still be together, or was she upset with my answer. I preferred it if we had sex at my place when I knew we wouldn't be interrupted, but if she wanted it now, I'd give in to ease her worries. So I asked:

"What's on your mind?"

"I just worry we're going to jinx ourselves," she answered. "We are still quite young Ben. I can imagine being with you after Hogwarts as well, but what if we're wrong. Everyone used to tell me at thirteen that I didn't know what love was. They told me it wouldn't last with Denver and they were right. Look how devastated I was when we broke up. I know that I love you, and if we end it will be ten times worse for me. Everyone believes we are going to be together after Hogwarts, but they could be wrong. Rachel is twenty-six and she's alone."

"My parents have been together since their fourth year," I told her. "Ginny and Harry are getting married soon, and they were about our age when they first got together. Ron and Hermione are married now. There are many cases of people who got together when they were teens and got married."

"And you can see yourself marrying me?" She asked me with surprise.

"Yes," I told her right away because I truly could. "I haven't felt this way with any other girl I've dated."

She was quiet for a moment and then smiled. "I feel that way too."

"Good," I said and I leaned down to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around me and we began kissing. I tried not to snog in the corridors where anyone could walk by. There were unused corridors and we were in one of the main ones, but at that moment I didn't give a damn. All I wanted to do was snog the hell out of my girlfriend.

The rest of the term went by quickly and I was pleased with my marks. Now that we were in OWL year, everyone was struggling, including Tara. I was finally beating her when it came to marks, and Ashley was beating us all in Charms. I was shocked to find out that Tara was actually around acceptable.

"Charms is just a soft option anyway," Tara told me with a shrug. "Good for Ashley though. I've always known that she was good at that class. I'm not surprised she is top of the year."

I stared at her for a moment and then raised my eyebrows.

"Did I hear you right?" I asked her. "Are you actually complimenting Ashley?"

"Look, I don't like your girlfriend at all," Tara began, "but I want you and I to be friends. I can admit that she is doing well in the class. I don't want to wreck our friendship by insulting her."

"Good," I said, "because you know that I won't tolerate it anymore, and that goes for Ellen too. I don't want you insulting her either."

"Is she any better yet?" Tara asked and I could tell she was genuinely curious. Usually if she'd ask that question, it was because she was happy that Ellen would be upset. I knew Tara well enough now that I knew she wasn't asking to be mean, or to gossip with her friends.

"She's getting there," I said. "I can tell she still wants me-" just as I knew Tara still wanted me "-but I know she is trying her best. I think she has finally accepted that we're only ever going to be friends and that's it."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that Ben," Tara told me. "Look, I don't like Ashley and you know I do like you a lot, but I think you should know this. Ellen has been talking to Lindsay quite a bit about the situation. She told Lindsay that she still believes you and her are meant to be together and that someday you will come to your senses."

"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?" I asked feeling annoyance now. "I know that you think that you and me will be the next Lily and James Potter."

"I'm telling you the truth Ben," Tara said. "You can choose to think what you want, but I'm just telling you what I heard. I just think later on that Ellen will try something again. Right now she won't because she is scared of ruining your friendship."

"Again, I still think you're talking about you," I said.

"Well I am not," Tara told me and for the first time when we had an argument, she was the one to walk away.

For days afterwards she sent me furious glances but I ignored her. Perhaps she was telling the truth, and it did sound like something Ellen would do, but it also sounded like something Tara would do. Either way, I was sick of all these girls. I had a girlfriend now, and I was tired of them hitting on me. I just wanted them to accept it and move on. Why couldn't Tara just give Aaron a chance? Why couldn't Ellen go for one of her many admirers? What was it about me?

Often other blokes would talk about how serious and boring I could be. I wasn't sure how I came across that way, but if they were right than why were girls obsessed with me? I was looking forward to break when I could finally talk to Barry in person about all this. He had a message parchment now, but even with that he didn't respond to me right away.

I tried to convince Michael to come home with either Ashley or me that year, but he refused. I told him the night before we were supposed to leave that he could still come if he wanted.

"I know I have a home with either one of you now, but it's going to be awkward," he told me. "I don't want to celebrate it with other peoples families. Christmas at Hogwarts is great anyway. Honestly, the last few Christmases have been the best of my life."

"But none of the guys are staying this year," I said to him.

"Some of the Ravenclaws are staying. I get along with them now. I apologized for first year a long time ago. Besides, Matt and Howard are staying from Slytherin. I like having the common room to myself anyway," Michael told me. "Ben, I just want to stay here okay? I made it through the last three years, and I will make it this year too. Harry Potter spent most of his Christmases here you know."

"You tell me that every year," I reminded him. "And even if you didn't, I already knew that. It's common knowledge that Harry Potter didn't get along with his relatives. I don't understand your point when you bring it up. If you want to stay at Hogwarts, I am not going to push you to come home. I just thought you stayed here because you didn't want to go home. Now you have a better home."

"Believe me, I'll be fine and then you can have some alone time with Ashley when she goes over to your place," Michael told me and then winked.

I'd already told him that I'd planned to have sex with her over the holidays. He'd asked again about our sex life, and he'd asked me when I was finally going to shag her. So I told him over our holidays. I wasn't sure why he cared so much about my sex life. He'd even gone as far as asking about the Andrew twins and then Lydia. I knew I wasn't the only he questioned about sex though. Some of the guys liked to talk about it, but others wouldn't.

"You're still planning to shag her aren't you?" Michael asked when I didn't respond.

"Yes Michael," I said feeling exasperated, "and no I am not going to tell you about it."

Michael just laughed. "Have a good holiday Ben. Write me, and tell the girls to do the same. I already said good-bye to them. I'll probably still be asleep when you all leave. I'm going to bed, so I'll see you at New Years."

And without saying another word, he walked off. I was staying up to do some homework. I had the holidays to do it of course, but the less I had to do that year, the better. I just wanted to enjoy my time away from the school. So I'd decided that night to work on Transfiguration and History of Magic. The girls had gotten tired of school work and had gone to bed. Even Ashley didn't understand why I was working on it, and usually she was on board with it.

Most people had gone up to bed by that point. There weren't too many people up, and I believed the ones who still awake were the ones staying. I was feeling tired, and I knew that I'd be tired the next day but I wanted to finish my essay. I was only going home anyway, I didn't have to be wide awake on the train or at home.

"Excuse me," someone said to me after a while and I looked up to see two third year girls staring at me.

"Yes?" I said wondering what they could want.

"You're dating Ashley aren't you?" The same girl asked.

"Yes I am," I answered almost feeling defensive. Often I had girls even in the second year asking me out. Often they would tell me that I should ditch her for them, and I wondered if these girls were planning the same thing. Which one had a crush on me?

"We didn't get the chance to talk to her, and she'll probably be gone tomorrow before we get up. We just wanted to thank her. She leant us some of her essays from when she was in third year, and they really helped out for Charms," the second girl now spoke up.

"We got really good marks on our essays," the first girl continued. "Thanks to her, my mark went up in Charms. Professor Sprout told me that if I didn't improve my grades in charms that I'd have to spend weekends with Professor Flitwick. Ashley has been helping me, and she leant me some of her essays. She told me she needs them back because it's OWL year."

And the second girl placed some essays on my table.

"I didn't know she was tutoring students," I said with shock.

"Well, she isn't exactly tutoring me," the first girl responded. "I just go to her for help sometimes. Professor Flitwick told us that she was one of the best. I asked if she could tutor me, but she said she wasn't good at explaining things right, but she'd help with homework if I needed it. I think she underestimates herself. Anyway, can you please tell her that I did really well on the test?"

"Sure," I said. "And if you ever need help in any other classes, I'll be glad to help."

"We'll be sure to ask," the second girl said and she winked at me.

"Nadia!" The first girl said and she rolled her eyes. "Sorry about her, she's a flirt. Come on Nadia, let's eat the rest of those chocolates Simon gave me."

The girls gave me a small wave and walked off. I shook my head but smiled. Was it possible to love my girlfriend even more? I hadn't known that she was helping out with the younger students with their school work. I knew she helped them out in other areas, but I admired even more for helping them with Charms too. Smiling, I rolled up my History of Magic essay and placed it in my bag. My friends were right, it could wait for the holidays. I just wanted to fall into a blissful sleep about my girl.

Ashley acted like it was nothing when I brought up the third year girls. She just shrugged it off as we boarded the train. We were one of the first on the train, and we headed straight for our compartment. So far we'd managed to get the same one every time, but we always worried our luck would run out. Usually Ashley and Ellen got to the station early enough. That day we'd made sure to be first in line to board the carriages.

Ellen looked around and then looked at me with confusion.

"Michael is still staying at Hogwarts for the holidays?" She asked as we sat down. She took the seat across from Ashley and me. "I thought he was invited to your places."

"He thought it would be awkward to spend Christmas with our families," I explained. "He said he enjoys staying at Hogwarts, and he'll actually get ahead on homework if he stays at school.

"He has permission to come over for the New Years party though," Ashley said. "And then he and I are going to take the Knight Bus back to Ben's. We're both staying at Hogwarts at Easter."

"You two are actually staying for the holidays?" Ellen asked looking from me to Ashley.

I'd decided that even though I was going home for Christmas that I wanted to stay for Easter. It was so close to our exams, and all my siblings and even my parents thought it was best. I had access to the library and there were hardly any distractions. We could also do magic at school. I'd asked Ashley if she wanted to stay as well, and she'd said yes right away. It surprised me because I figured she'd want to go home, but she'd seemed more than happy with this idea.

"You should too," I told her. "Most fifth and seventh years are staying."

I wasn't entirely sure if the fifth years were, but I was assuming they were. Most people in the fifth and seventh years stayed.

"No thank you," Ellen said. "After Easter Break is when things will be even worse. I want a break when I can get one. I'm relaxing as much I can during these holidays. Ashley, I don't understand why you're studying so hard if you want to be a teacher. You won't need OWLs for that."

"You don't know that," Ashley said looking offended and I felt irritated. It was common knowledge now that she wanted to be a school teacher. Some people questioned why she worked hard now. I didn't see why she shouldn't. "It doesn't matter anyway; I want to do well on my exams. I want to keep my options open. Besides, I want to prove to myself I can do it. I want an OWL in every single class, even if I just get an A in some."

"Well I think you are setting yourself up for failure, not too many people pass every single class." Ellen said angering me even more. Ashley needed confidence, and saying things like that was the opposite of our pact from years ago. We still tried our best to compliment her. It seemed to me that lately Ellen was insulting her, but in the most subtle way.

"Thanks," Ashley said dryly. I glanced over at her to see her frowning at Ellen.

"I'm just stating the truth," Ellen said sounding defensive now. "The only people who are going to pass every single exam are nutters like Ben and Tara. You and I are in the average. We'll be lucky if we pass at least five. Ask any of the sixth and seventh years how many OWLs they got."

"That's also because people don't take ones they don't care about seriously," I spoke up. I knew that Ashley worked hard enough, she could do it. She didn't need people telling her that she couldn't do it. I knew of people who weren't that smart who passed all their OWLs, even if it was just with Acceptable's. "How many people actually try hard in History of Magic? Most know they don't plan to keep it after fifth. A girl in Barry's year didn't even study. She didn't care. I think if people put an effort in every class, they could get at least an A. If not, than people wouldn't even pass into the next year every year."

"If you say so," Ellen said with a shrug. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't expect so much. Don't be too disappointed if you don't get an OWL in every class. Are you seriously planning on keeping every class if you do pass?

"Yes," Ashley answered. "Why shouldn't I? I've told you before. I am here to learn magic, and that means I should try my best in every class. I'm going to do what I can to pass every class. If I don't, that's fine. However, even if I pass History of Magic, I will keep it."

"But the work in sixth and seventh years is so complicated," Ellen said. "We might not have as much work as we do now, but the work is more advanced."

I actually agreed with Ellen on that one. I didn't want her to keep all over her classes either. I wanted her to pass all her OWLs but I didn't see the need in her keeping Divination, Astronomy, Arithmancy or History of Magic. The rest I could understand but she really didn't need History of Magic and Astronomy after fifth year, Divination was just useless and she didn't need it at all and Arithmancy was too complicated for her. The rest of the classes I could understand.

Ashley shrugged. "I don't care, I am going to try."

"You two are going to be ridiculous next year," Ellen said. "I am definitely not taking a lot of classes. I am thinking Charms, Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures. I don't care about the rest. I will know enough for Transfiguration and Potions. The others I just don't care about at all. When am I going to need Divination, History of Magic, or Astronomy?"

"Ellen you should keep your options open," I told her. She was so sure that she'd be a professional Quidditch player. I knew she could be since she was good, but there was a chance it wouldn't happen. She needed a back up plan. I still believed she should keep the important classes. What would she need with Care of Magical Creatures? She didn't care about animals.

"I want to be a Professional Quidditch player," Ellen said. "I don't need the rest."

"But what if you don't get taken on?" I asked her.

"Look get off my case," Ellen snapped. "That is what I plan on doing, and that's that. If it doesn't work out, then I will figure it out. Professor Sprout can help me with my options, not you. So just butt out already!"

"Fine," I said icily. "But I think you are making a huge mistake."

We glared at each other. I didn't know why I continued to bother with her when it came to school work. Ashley, Michael and everyone else usually told me just to lay off on her and I was starting to think they were right. She was my best friend and I didn't want to see her fail, but she was so damn stubborn. I didn't understand why she didn't want to work hard.

At times I wondered how Ellen ended up in Hufflepuff. I could honestly see her more of Slytherin. She wasn't hard-working. It wasn't that she wasn't loyal, she certainly was, but she was cunning and she looked out for herself more. She wasn't always trustworthy. If she wanted something, she didn't care about who she hurt to get it. So it was why I thought she would have done better in Slytherin. The Sorting Hat had to have seen something in her to place her in Hufflepuff.

We made small talk after a while. It felt awkward in the compartment and I was relieved when others started to join us. They all wanted to know about Ashley's party. They knew they were invited of course, but it was all anyone had talked about the last few weeks. The Hufflepuff boys loved her parties the most.

Ashley got up to sit on my lap so that there would be room for everyone. Most of the boys were there, but Jess, Anne and Erica were trying to cram in as well. Hank winked at Jess before he pulled her onto his lap.

"Ooh aren't you getting heavy?" I said to Ashley jokingly.

It wasn't true of course. She'd always been quite light. I wondered why it was that she was so small when her sister was overweight, and strangely enough her mother was slowly gaining weight too. I knew she ate a lot. People still watched her since second year. Perhaps it was because she was so active all the time. Every where she went, she was full of energy and she liked going for walks in the corridors. There was also all the exercise she got when we went to and from classes.

"So chances are Rachel won't be there," Jared said with disappointment. "I never thought I'd want an older woman, but if she needed a good shag, I'd give it to her. She is so hot. I've wanted her since I met her in second year."

"She's not going to shag a fifteen year old," Dan said with amusement.

"I'm seventeen," Jared reminded him. "And last year she was flirting with me."

"She really was," Hank said with a smile. "That's not just one of Jared's fantasies."

"What about Jolene?" Ashley asked him. "I thought you were all hot and heavy with her."

"Yeah, aren't you in love with her?" Ellen asked.

"God no," Jared said. "I could never love her. That doesn't mean she isn't a good girlfriend, but I'm not in love with her."

I saw his eyes flicker over to Ashley and sadness appeared on his face, but it only momentarily. I knew he'd never do anything, and I knew she loved me so I wasn't worried about it. I felt pity for him however. I'd never thought I would feel sorry for a bloke who was in love with my girlfriend, but I did for him. Perhaps it was because I liked and respected Jared and I also knew I could trust him with her. He loved her enough that he would always put their friendship first. I also knew he cared enough about me that he wouldn't do anything stupid. I understood what it was like to see the girl you loved with someone else. I had a feeling he liked Jolene enough, but he was doing what I'd done in the past. He was with a girl so he could get over her.

My parents were ecstatic about my relationship with Ashley. Mum had apparently already been in contact with her mother about it. They'd always been in contact with each other because of our friendship and now Michael, but they were writing even more. My mother was talking about our families getting together in the summers or even on the holidays.

I thought it was a good thing that our parents got along well. A lot of the time in laws didn't get along. I had lucked out on that one. Tasha's parents wanted nothing to do with us, or even Tasha anymore. They'd basically given up on her years ago. They'd let her live at home for a place to stay, but from what Barry had told me, they hadn't talked in years. I knew my parents had tried contacting her parents, but they had told them back in Barry's first year to not contact them again. Tasha spent a lot of holidays at our place, and they didn't even want them contacting them then. Tasha was basically allowed to do what she wanted. They didn't care if she was at home or not.

I think my parents were glad that they could talk to my girlfriends parents. They'd even been in contact with Ashley's new step father. Apparently they had all gotten along right away. My mum said that he was the right man for her mother.

A few days into the holidays, Barry came over for a visit. He lived in a flat in Diagon Alley. Most of the time he shared it with Nick and Tasha as well, but Nick had gone travelling for a bit. I had a feeling that he wouldn't be living there for much longer, or else Barry and Tasha would be moving out. I wasn't sure if he'd ask her to marry him yet. He'd told me in the summer that he was planning on asking her to marry him, but I hadn't heard from him about it since.

I was sitting in my room and working on Arithmancy when he entered my room.

"So when am I going to see my new little sister?" He asked without even saying hello.

"She's coming over for Christmas dinner," I told him.

"Well I am glad you finally took my advice," Barry said with a grin as he sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Well, it was Ashley who told me," I replied and I told him everything.

"I didn't think she had it in her," Barry said with raised eyebrows. "I always thought she'd be the type to wait for the bloke to make the move."

"Actually she's always been the one to make the move," I said. "She told Denver and she told me. I was planning on saying something, but I didn't want to move too fast when she and Denver broke up. So I was going to give it some time before I made the move. Ellen forced her to tell me though."

"And by the sounds of it Ellen is still giving you problems?" Barry asked.

"She hasn't since our first date," I told him. "But she still wants me," and then I told him about Tara's warning. "Part of me thinks that Tara was talking about herself, but I wouldn't put it past Ellen either. I'm so sick of these girls," I complained and before Barry could say anything I added: "And don't tell me that I should feel flattered. At one time it was nice to have girls interested, but I am with Ashley now. I just want them to leave me alone."

"No I agree with you Ben," Barry said seriously. "It's fine for a girl to be interested, but from you've told me, they are obsessed with you. I'd be pissed too if I were you."

"They get worse when I'm in a relationship," I told him. "Even if it doesn't work out with Ashley, I don't want to be with some girl who tried to steal me from my girlfriend. I've even told them that, but girls like Ellen and Tara don't get it. So why didn't you answer me when I wrote? You have a message parchment, so I can tell when you're ignoring me."

"I wasn't ignoring you little brother," Barry told me. "I even told you that I'd see you when you got home. There isn't much I can tell you. I think you're already doing the right thing. You're still friends with Ellen, and you're staying with Ashley. If it were the other way around, I'd tell you to dump Ellen and give it some time before you went out with Ashley. I've always known you were meant to be with Ashley, and I always knew that Ellen might cause problems. Ellen will move on."

"That's what we think too," I said. "I even told Ellen that she would move on as well. She is after all fifteen years old. So what about you? You never told me how it went with your engagement."

"I didn't ask her right away," Barry said. "I was waiting for the right moment. I wanted to wait to tell you when I told the family since you already knew I was going to do it."

"So when did you?" I asked. "Obviously she said yes."

Barry grinned. "The day you went back to school. We met September first and that's when I wanted to propose to her. I waited until eleven o'clock as well. We were at Kings Cross station. I told her that I wanted to see you off at school, and as soon as the train left, I proposed."

"You could have come see me off," I said even though I knew that was irrelevant. Even though I was sixteen, I still looked up to him as much as I had at six. I would have loved to have seen him before we'd left.

"But then mum and dad would have asked questions," Barry said. "I had trouble thinking of the right moment to propose to her. It would have been nice if I could have even been in on the train, but obviously that couldn't work. So I did it on the platform. She and I met on the train ride to school."

I nodded wondering how I could do it for Ashley when I finally proposed. I never thought of my brother to be the sentimental type or even romantic. That proposal was definitely a combination of the two. We didn't exactly have a place that I could do that for her. The first time we'd met was when she'd leaned against me in fright before our sorting. Could I propose to her in there? I knew it was still early in the relationship, but I knew I'd be doing it for her someday.

"So I do get a congratulations?" Barry asked with amusement. "Why aren't you saying anything Benny? Aren't you happy for your big brother?"

"I am very happy for you," I told him. "Sorry, I was just distracted. I was thinking about Ashley and-"

"And your own engagement?" Barry asked with even more amusement. "I knew you'd already be thinking about that."

"I thought about it even before we got together," I admitted.

"So did I," Barry answered. "It took forever for me to think of how to do it and where. You have plenty of time to think about it. I hope you're not planning on doing it anytime soon. I truly believe you two are meant to be together and you'll end up married, but you're in fifth year."

I smiled at him. "Of course not. I'll probably wait until we're done school. So are you telling mum and dad at dinner?"

"I'm telling them even more than that," Barry told me and his face lit up even more. "Tasha is pregnant. She just found out."

Now I was even more excited for my older brother. I was going to be an uncle. I knew he'd make a great father. He had always been good to me when I was a child. Most of my favourite childhood memories featured Barry. When Brenda had developed her attitude, he'd always stood up for me. I still remembered his first day of school when I'd worn a Hogwarts outfit. He had told me that I could pass for a first year, and I'd felt good when he'd told me that. Brenda had ruined the moment by calling me a runt, but I still remembered how good he'd always made me feel.

Even once he'd gone to school and I would write to him I could always count on a response. There were many times when I'd complain to him about Brenda. Once he'd even sent her a howler. I never found out how he'd managed to get one to send. He'd always been there for me though, and even at fourteen or fifteen he still played childish games with me.

"You're going to make an amazing father," I told him and I got up to give him a hug. "When are you telling mum and dad?" I asked after I pulled away.

"Christmas dinner," he told me. "Can you keep the secret for that long?"

"Can I tell Ashley?" I asked him.

"You can tell her about our engagement but I want to be the one to tell her about the baby," he said.

"Fair enough," I said with a shrug. "I'll write to her later. What about Michael and-"

"You can tell your friends about the engagement," Barry interrupted. "After we announce the baby at Christmas, you can tell them about that too."

"When is Brianne getting back?" I asked. "Does she know? What about Nick?"

"You're the first one to know little brother," he told me.

I felt ecstatic. I couldn't believe that I was the one that Barry was trusting the most. His engagement was one of the biggest decisions he had made in his life. It was even bigger than admitting to his best friend that he was in love with her. A wedding would change his life forever, but the birth of his child was the biggest change of all. He truly was all grown up now.

"Thanks for trusting me with all this," I said. "I'm still shocked that I am one of the first to know out of everyone, even Nick. He's your best friend."

"He'll know soon enough," Barry said with a shrug. "I'm not too happy with my best friend at the moment anyway."

"Why?" I asked.

"You'll find out soon enough," he said and he looked unhappy now. "I promised to keep it secret for now, but you'll know when we have our Christmas dinner."

"Why Christmas dinner?" I asked with confusion.

"You'll see," Barry said with a sigh. "Anyway, we were planning on having the wedding in the summer but now that Tasha is pregnant, we are moving it up. The wedding will be in February. Tasha wants it to be on Valentines Day. It's on a Friday this year, so you'll be coming home from school. We want your friends to be there too. We'll be giving out invitations to them soon enough."

"Cutting it close aren't you?" I asked with a frown. "Don't you need to give people more time? It's less than two months Barry."

"Well the pregnancy changed things," Barry said. "Everyone we'll want to be there will be there. Tasha already has her bridesmaids and her maid of honor picked out, and I already have the groomsmen. They already all said yes, well except Nick but I know he will say yes. It's just picking a location now and telling everyone the date. You know mum will be on that the moment we tell her."

"That's for sure," I said. "She's been planning your wedding since you brought Tasha home for the Christmas holidays in your first year."

"Just as she has been planning yours," Barry said with a wink. "So tell me more about what's going on with you little brother."

"And you too," I said, "we have a lot of catching up to do."

"Well let's go to the Leaky Cauldron. I'll get you some drinks and we'll have a nice evening."

"Sounds good to me," I said.

Ashley came over on the twenty-sixth. My dad apparated her over and the moment my mother saw her, she hugged her tightly.

"I've been waiting for my son to come to his senses about you," she told her. "Welcome to the family dear."

"Mum," I said feeling embarrassed. I didn't want her to scare her off.

"We've been waiting to see the two of you together since you told us," dad told me. "You knew this was going to happen."

I sighed but I stood back and let my parents gush all over her. I hadn't even seen dad react that way to Tasha, and I knew he'd loved her as well. It took forever for them to let her come over to me.

"I'm just going to take her upstairs," I told them. "We need to catch up."

I waited for my parents to tell me that there was no chance that we were going upstairs alone. However, they didn't protest. I couldn't wait until later that evening. I was sure that once they knew about Tasha and Barry, they would leave us alone. We'd finally be able to 'consummate' our love as Michael had called it.

"Well at least both our parents are happy about it," Ashley said with amusement as we headed up the stairs. "We don't have to hide our relationship. Jaime had to do that a few times when mum hated her boyfriends."

"Mum and dad didn't like any of Barry's girlfriends until he got with Tasha," I told her.

We entered my room and she placed her overnight bag on the extra bag. I hoped that didn't mean she was planning on sleeping in the other bed. I really wanted her to be in my bed. What if she was too embarrassed to sleep with me because of my parents? There were nights at Hogwarts when she'd come down to the boys dorms to crawl into bed with me. I loved it when she did it, but at the same time I hated it because I wanted to do more with her. Now I could and I was sure my parents wouldn't come in, and neither would my siblings. I didn't say anything however. I just pulled her close to kiss her.

"I missed you. We have to try and see each other more on holidays," I told her.

"We'll try," she said. "I can take the Knight Bus and everything."

She sat down on her bed and opened up her bag. She started to pull out a few wrapped presents which she handed to me. I opened each to find a brand new quill that she'd engraved, some potions which she explained showed someone alternate universes, some joke items, a brand new Hufflepuff bed robe and new Hufflepuff pajamas, and some new Quidditch gloves with my name on them.

"This is a lot," I told her as I went through each item.

Generally my friends and I agreed to buy each other one or two gifts. If we had to buy more than that, we made sure we didn't spend a lot of money. It was obvious everything except maybe the joke items and potions were expensive. The gloves here gripping gloves made from dragon hide. I knew those weren't cheap. I knew the quill alone cost a lot. Ellen had bought one similar years ago, and that one had been a lot. This was was made from an even more expensive wood, and the feather had to have come from an eagle. The pajamas felt as if they were made from silk and the robes were thick and fluffy.

"I wanted to spoil you," she said with a smile. "You're always good to me."

"Hang on, I have your present," I said as I placed the presents on the bed.

I had spent a good amount on her present as well. I'd found out that you could never fail with jewellery with girls. That was my always go to gift when it came to the girls. I'd found a nice gold and diamond set for her. It came with a necklace, earrings, bracelet and a hair clip. I handed the package to her for her to open. She didn't unwrap it right away.

"Don't you like what I got you?" She asked me and I realized I hadn't even thanked her.

"Of course I do," I told her. "I'm sorry, I should have thanked you. I really do appreciate it all. I've outgrown most of my pajamas already."

"I noticed," she said now smiling again. "You've grown inches since even September. You're like Michael, you two just don't stop growing."

"I should be done soon enough," I said.

It was odd because I was even taller than Barry now. We'd been the same height in the summer, but I had kept growing. I was at six feet now. Michael had reached six foot two already. He'd always been really tall, and there was a time when I'd had to look right up to him but now I wasn't much shorter than him. I'd been shocked when Barry and I had first stood beside each other to find that I'd grown taller than him.

"Well it's why I thought to get you pajamas and I thought you'd appreciate those potions," she told me. "Wait until you try one. They are amazing."

"I do like your gifts Ashley," I told her. "I just felt you spent a lot on them but I'm grateful and I like everything. I'm a prat, I should have thanked you right away. Now open yours."

She smiled and began opening it. She gasped when she opened the box to see all the jewellery.

"And I spent a lot?" She asked me incredulously. "Thank you so much Ben. I love it."

She got up from the bed and hurried into my bathroom. I knew she was trying it all on. I got up and headed over to sit at my desk. I thought I'd seen writing appear on my message parchment. I looked to see that it was from Michael.

Done shagging yet?

I rolled my eyes and cleared it quickly. Why did he care so much about my sex life? I shook my head with amusement. I would write back to him later. At the moment I just wanted to be alone with my girlfriend. I knew Brianne and Barry were downstairs somewhere. For some reason they'd respected our privacy so far. I was sure they would have been there when she'd arrived but they hadn't been.

Ashley entered my room and sauntered over to me with a smile. She was wearing all of the jewellery and I thought it looked amazing on her.

"Beautiful," I told her with a smile. "I'm glad you like it."

She smiled and then walked over to sit on me. I was hoping for a good snogging session, but now she looked serious. I wondered why but she answered my unasked question moments later.

What do you know about the Zent's and the Opress's?" She asked me.

"Why?" I asked. I couldn't figure out why she would want to know anything about them.

"I went to Diagon Alley to do some Christmas shopping the other day and I ran into them. That was when we had that really bad blizzard. I was in the Leaky Cauldron when I bumped into them," she explained. "Xavier told me that his father could take me home. I was just getting a butterbeer before I went out to signal the Knight Bus. He told me I didn't have to take it and his father would take me home. He was with Don Zent. Both their families were there and I didn't trust them, so I left. I bumped into Harry. He seemed worried about it as well. He took me home because he didn't trust them either. I feel like they wanted to take me home so they could know my address, and Harry thought so too. I could be wrong, and maybe Harry was wrong but he seemed genuinely concerned about me being alone with them," I said.

"I could have met you in Diagon Alley you know, I don't see why you needed to be there all by yourself," I told her feeling upset that she'd been there alone and that she could have been in danger. Those families were bad news. They'd been You-Know-Who supporters but it was never proven that they were involved. Most people were sure that they would have been part of the inner circle if they could have been.

My parents had told me that they were hanging out in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade with some other known Death Eaters who managed escape. Some people thought they were planning things. It seemed odd to be meeting in public, but dad said he believed that they wanted people to think they were just old friends meeting up. Apparently there had been some odd attacks lately, but the Daily Prophet wasn't printing it yet.

Ever since the war had ended, some bitter death eaters still attacked some people, but it didn't happen often. However, apparently the attacks had been happening more and more. The Daily Prophet was keeping it secret because it had been less than five years since the end of the war. No one wanted people to panic. They wanted people to be comfortable in the wizarding world again. The Aurors were apparently spending more time in Diagon Alley just in case. I wondered if that was why Harry was there that day.

"My mother lets me go places by myself Ben, I didn't realize I should be able to go to Diagon Alley without a body guard," Ashley said to me annoyed now.

"I know, but I think Harry had a reason to worry. I don't think Xavier's father would have done anything to you but he would have found out where you live," I told her believing that their suspicions were right. "I'm glad you turned him down."

"What aren't you telling me Ben?" She asked me.

I didn't really want to tell her the truth. I didn't want to scare her, but there was no point in keeping her in the dark. My parents told me it was how You-Know-Who had managed to take over so quickly before. The Ministry of Magic had tried to remain in denial and they'd kept it all secret. He'd used that to his advantage and that was why he'd been able to move so fast. It didn't make sense why the Ministry was keeping things secret again.

"There is no proof that the Zents or Opress' were involved in the war, but most people know they were supporters. There have been rumors that some of the people who got away with it are still angry about You-Know-Who's downfall. My parents told us that they have been meeting in secret or even in places like the Leaky Cauldron or even in Hogsmeade. They warned me about seeing them when we have our weekends there to stay clear," I told her.

Perhaps it was better to let her know anyway. I could prevent it from happening again by asking her not to go back by herself. I didn't want to come off as someone who told her what to do. I knew I couldn't tell her what to do. I just wanted to keep her safe, so I had to find a way to stop her from going alone again.

"So what do you think would have happened if they had taken me home?" She asked me

"I don't know," I said and I really didn't know their motives. Surely people besides Harry Potter had seen them together. "The thing is, the Leaky Cauldron was packed that day. I don't think they would have done anything. If they're going to try something, they aren't going to pick up a muggleborn in a packed pub. I think they want to lay low for a few years and make plans. However, if they can find out where muggleborns live, they can secretly ambush them later on. The Aurors are probably worried about that too. It's probably why Harry was worried when he saw you with them. I doubt he would have even let you leave with them. I just find it really odd that Xavier would call his father over to escort you home. Why would he care how you're going to get home in a blizzard?"

"I know," she muttered. "That's why I was worried. That's why I said no to him. Do you think they'll be angry now because I went with Harry? They know who I am now."

"I don't know," I said thinking she should tell my parents and if she didn't tell them, I would. My dad knew enough about protective spells. Our place had been fully protected during the war. I wasn't sure why he hadn't done more with Defense Against the Dark Arts because he knew his stuff. Instead he worked in the Improper Use of Magic office. "I think this is something you should tell my parents. If it comes to a point where your family needs to be protected, they'll help. Maybe we're being over paranoid but some of the supporters have had almost five years to dwell on it. They came so close to having a world that they wanted, and it was taken away so quickly. Even without You-Know-Who there is still random killings. But if the Aurors are aware of them, hopefully nothing happens. They aren't too smart if people are already suspicious of them. You-Know-Who operated in secret for years before anyone knew what was going on."

"But I thought you said a while back that a lot of the supporters are better off without him. You said it didn't take much for him to kill them," Ashley said.

"It's really complicated," I said.

I was trying to think of a way to explain it to her, but my brother and sister interrupted. In a way I was glad because I didn't know what else to her. I was going to have to talk to my parents first so I could find out more information. I was going to tell dad as soon as possible to put his protective charms on her place, her sisters place and even Rachel's place. I wanted them all protected. I was sure it wouldn't take much for them to find out what they needed to.

"Good, it's safe," Barry said as he strode in. "We weren't sure if we were going to walk into something that we shouldn't."

"Oh shut up," I said. I knew he was going to make some stupid comment about us being alone together.

"I've been dying to see the two of you together!" Brianne said excitedly. "I've known you two would get together since your first year, and here you are."

"I told you many times little bro that you would end up with Ashley or Ellen," Barry said and he flopped into one of my chairs. I knew he was saying most of that for Ashley's benefit but it annoyed me that he was bringing it up again. When was he going to stop saying: 'I told you so'? "I think it might be time for me to remind you of that letter I wrote you in your first year."

That was the first time he'd actually mentioned the letter. I still had it somewhere in my room. Now that he reminded me of it, I wanted to read it again. I'd have to look for it later.

"Mum and dad are definitely thrilled," Brianne continued. "They love Ellen, but they'd rather it be you Ashley."

"I know," she said.

"Did you bring Tasha here?" I asked hoping to have the attention taken off of us now. "Maybe your news will take the pressure off of us."

"What news is that?" Ashley asked. "Your engagement?"

I glanced over at Brianne quickly. Her eyes widened, so Barry hadn't told her yet. I saw her look at him with surprise but I was glad that she didn't say anything. I was sure she would ask him about it later. I could see that she looked hurt that Ashley and me knew before she did.

"More than that little sis," Barry said. "Tasha is pregnant."

I glanced at Brianne again, but she didn't look surprised about this information, so obviously he had told her about the pregnancy. I wondered why he had told her one but not the other. I guessed it was because he'd told her that he was planning on telling Ashley before our dinner.

"Really!?" Ashley asked excitedly and she got up quickly to hug him. "Congratulations," she said. "You'll make an amazing father."

"Thanks," he said smiling. "My mum is going to go nuts. I think she's been planning my wedding to Tasha since my first year."

"That's why I am hoping they announce it tonight at dinner," I said as Ashley walked over to sit beside me. I felt disappointed because I wanted her back on my lap. "Mum is already excited about us, but they're not even going to notice us after they find out about Barry and Tasha."

"Or Nick and me," Brianne said.

"You and Nick?" Ashley and I asked.

"But I thought Brenda and Nick were together?" Ashley said

"No they broke up a long time ago," I told her before I glanced over at Brianne who was smiling now. "But now you're with Nick?"

"He's been travelling with her," Barry said dryly and then he shrugged. "Why do you think Brenda isn't joining our little reunion at the moment? She's very angry with Brianne. Nick and Tasha aren't here yet, but they will be joining us for dinner."

Now I understood why he wasn't impressed with Nick. He had broken Brenda's heart when they had broken up. They had been good together and we'd all be surprised when they broke up. Nick had just done it out of the blue. He'd told Barry that it was because Brenda was still in school and he wasn't, but Barry hadn't been so sure. He'd found the break up to be a little odd. Now he was with Brianne?

"I know it might sound awful," Brianne told us. "And Nick and I did try hard to deny our feelings for each other. I turned him down a couple of times for Brenda's sake, but in the end I couldn't anymore. I've loved him for a long time."

As much as I thought what Nick did was low, I did understand it. If they like each other enough, it wasn't fair to ignore it. I just thought it was awful at the expense of Brenda. I'd noticed she'd seem strange during the holidays. Most of the time she hid up in her room when she wasn't working, but lately she didn't even come down for dinner. She'd even asked if she could be excused from our Christmas dinner. I'd thought at first it was because of Ashley. She hadn't liked her in the past and I wondered if those feelings had resurfaced. However, that explained everything.

"We understand," I finally said. I really did understand."Ellen wanted me, and so we were worried about getting together for her sake," and I glanced at Ashley as I thought about the guilt we'd both felt. I wouldn't take back the last few months with her, "but in the end we decided we had to do what we wanted."

"I knew that would happen!" Barry said while he shook his head but he was grinning.

"Would you a reward?" I asked wondering why he had to say it again.

"No, but I do remember a twelve year boy who insisted how wrong I was. Do you know how much I wish I had a timeturner so I could tell you that you're wrong?" Barry asked with a forced laugh.

I believed now he was pretending to be happy, but he was secretly pissed about Brianne and Nick. Now I knew why he was bringing it up again. It was all an act.

"I wouldn't have believed you," I said as I thought back to this time four years ago. "I was quite stubborn. Either way, I think the two of you might actually be enough of a distraction for us."

"Where are Tasha and Nick?" Ashley asked.

"They'll be over later," Barry said. "So for now, while we wait for dinner we get to harass the two of you!"

Which they did, but it ended up being a good time. I'd missed both Brianne and Barry but I always did. I was glad that my siblings approved of my new girlfriend. They joked around with us until my parents called us downstairs to dinner.

My mother always made an elaborate dinner at Christmas. She went all out with the decorations in our dining room and on the table. That year I felt like she did even more, and I wondered if it was to impress Ashley. We hadn't had Christmas crackers since Brianne went away to school. Dad had decided that we were too old for them. For some reason they'd decided to get them again. There were name cards at the table as well and we'd never done that.

Perhaps it was because all of us except Brenda had someone they invited to Christmas dinner. Nick looked nervous as he took his spot beside Brianne. I took Ashley's hand and led her over to our seats, and then I pulled out her chair for her. Brenda who had been staring down at the table at first looked at us and rolled her eyes, but I could see she looked amused by this. When she caught me looking at her, she gave me a wink. So I took that as a good sign.

Once everyone was seated, mum began serving everyone. She let all have some sherry with our dinners, and then she sat down. Tasha of course didn't touch her drink, but we all had water with our dinner as well. She reached for her water glass instead and then glanced at Barry who nodded.

"So before we get too lost in mums delicious cooking, Tasha and me have a couple of announcements to make," Barry said.

I glanced around the table at everyone. I was sure they all had their suspicions. Mum and dad looked excited, they set down their forks. Nick glanced at Barry with shock, and I wondered if he was wondering why he wasn't told before the dinner.

"Go ahead," mum told him with a big grin on her face.

"Well first of all, I asked Tasha in September to marry me and she said yes," Barry said with grin, "so we're engaged, but Tasha also just found out that she's pregnant. So we also have a little one on the way."

As expected everyone got excited about this, even Brenda seemed to forget that she was upset about Nick and Brianne. She got up to give Barry and Tasha both a hug. There was a line up to give them a hug afterwards.

"September mate?" Nick finally asked once we were all seated again."Why did you wait for so long to say something?"

"We wanted to have the family together," Barry said. "I was planning to tell you when you came back from your travels. I didn't think it was something I could write about."

"Fair enough," Nick said with a grin. "I always knew this was going to happen," and then he smiled at Ashley and me, "just as we all knew you two would end up together."

"I just can't believe my baby boy is getting married," mum said tearfully. She began dabbing at her eyes with her napkin.

"So when is the wedding?" Brianne asked.

"Well originally we wanted a summer wedding," Barry told her, "but after we found out about the baby, we decided to move it up."

"I just don't want to show too much," Tasha explained, "and I don't want this baby coming into the world before we're married. I'm think he will be here in July. So we decided Valentines Day."

"Bit early isn't it?" Brenda asked. "How are you going to get let everyone know in time? Usually it's more than six months of notice."

"Well that was the plan originally," Barry told her.

"We'll make sure everyone knows in time," mum said with a smile. "I can take care of everything. The wedding will go smoothly and according to plan. Valentines Day will be so romantic."

"I have to ask," Brianne said, "you said you wanted everyone to know but Ben and Ashley knew. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, I just want to know why they knew before us."

"Ben has known since the summer," Barry told her. "I told him when we went on our vacation. I want him to be my best man. I gave him permission to tell Ashley," and then he glanced at Nick. "I want you to be a groomsmen Nick. I'm sorry if you offended that you're not best man. I just really want my little brother to stand up there with me."

Nick smiled at Barry, "I understand, and I am not offended at all mate. I am just glad to be involved. I'd be happy just to be invited."

"Of course you'll be involved," Barry told him. "I would never leave you out of the wedding party."

For the rest of the dinner, everyone was gushing over Barry and Tasha. I was glad for the distraction. Once dessert was finished, mum and dad wanted to take Tasha and Barry into the family room to talk more about the wedding and the new baby. Nick and Brianne decided to go sit by the patio doors to talk, so Brenda went upstairs to her room. Not one person was paying attention to Ashley and me, so I took her upstairs. I figured this was the best time as any. No one was going to care what we were doing for the rest of the evening.

I felt our relationship grew even closer once we got more physical an, it felt silly to me that I'd kept it off for so long. I believed it had been my own fears more than anything since we'd been friends for so long. I'd told both Ashley and Michael that it was because I'd wanted it to be special and that was true but as I thought about it when time went on, I realized I'd been scared as well. Now that we'd finally had sex, I couldn't understand why I'd put it off and I hoped we'd never go that long again without it.

As expected, Michael asked me how it went when he had his first opportunity. Usually I felt annoyed with him, but I was so happy that I couldn't help but feel amused. I just told him it went well enough and then changed the subject. He didn't need the details. Often I wondered if he wasn't getting that he needed from Sarah. He seemed too interested in other peoples sex lives lately, and he didn't talk about his own like he used to with Anne. Other blokes seemed happy enough to tell him, and I was glad when he finally started to pester other people about it.

As term began, I started to worry about Ashley a bit. I noticed that she was losing weight. She'd always been on the light side. I'd held her on my lap enough, and at our Christmas dinner I'd seen her naked. I noticed that she was getting lighter and her ribs were starting to get prominent. They'd always shown a little bit, but it was getting to a point that I could count them. However, we were together for every meal, and I saw that she was eating. I knew she wasn't skipping meals.

I tried not to dwell on it. Perhaps it was just stress from exams. Ellen hadn't really gained much of the weight she'd lost after her break up with Stan. She wasn't putting as much effort into studying as we were, but I knew the upcoming exams were stressing her out too. One afternoon, mid January I finally decided to ask Ellen.

"Have you noticed anything odd about Ashley?" I asked her.

"Define odd," Ellen answered. "Are any of us really what you would call normal?"

"She is losing weight," I said.

"I've noticed that too," Ellen said with a nod. "Her robes are just hanging off of her. Maybe it's just stress because of the exams. I still think she is being ridiculous about classes like History of Magic and Astronomy. She won't need them past fifth year. You know she feels the need to prove herself. She also wants to please you with her school marks."

"Could you maybe ask her for me?" I asked. "It's not the kind of question a boyfriend should ask their girlfriend."

Ellen nodded. "I'll wait for the right moment," she told me. "I'm worried as well. She is at every meal though."

"You should be watching yourself as well," I informed her. "You really haven't gained back any of the weight you lost."

"It's not easy for me to gain weight Ben," Ellen answered. "Believe me, my mum was concerned as well. She made me eat second helpings. I could sit there and eat fattening food everyday and not exercise but not gain a pound. It's awful."

"Yes how awful for you," Melanie said as she walked by. "It must be so stressful that you don't have to watch your weight."

She walked off without waiting for a response to join Sarah. Ellen just rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I do train for Quidditch a lot, so anything I eat I just burn off." she continued as if Melanie hadn't said anything.

"I never apologized you know," I said as I thought back to that day in Hogsmeade.

"We promised we weren't going to talk about that again," Ellen reminded me.

"I know, but I meant to apologize for the shag and dump thing. I don't think you have a bad personality. I was just really pissed off at you. I was trying to hurt you," I said to her. "It isn't something I should have said to a friend."

"It's fine Ben," Ellen said. "I knew what you were doing. You had every right to be angry with me. I was out of line that day. I probably would have done the same thing to someone if I were in your shoes. I mean, it was your first date with her. I was being a bad friend."

"So we're good?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Don't worry, we're fine," she told me. "I'll see what I can do about bringing up the weight loss to Ashley. I still think it's stress from OWLs. She isn't the only one losing weight from them. Everyone is up late studying and stressing over them. Even Matt Neano has lost weight and he's always been overweight."

After that talk with Ellen, I felt a lot better. I could tell she still wanted me, but she was no longer making comments or anything. She did still stare when she thought I wasn't looking, and I hoped she would get past that soon. Oddly enough, she really didn't have anyone pursuing her. I couldn't remember a time when she didn't have a line up blokes who wanted her. I knew they still wanted her. Even months later I was still getting told that I was fool to turn her down.

I mentioned this to Michael a few days later who looked at me as if it should be obvious.

"They'll shag her if they could, but they won't date her," he told me.

"Why?" I asked. "I have my reasons, but what could theirs be? Half the people think she is goddess. Even the first year boys stare at her."

"Because she is in love with you still," Michael said. "No one wants to get involved with a girl who wants another bloke. They all know what happened in Hogsmeade that day. You know that things get around this school. I know that Stan made sure to tell people what happened because he was, well he's still so angry with her. So guys will want her for snogging or shagging but no one will date her."

I could actually understand that one. I wouldn't want a girl who wanted some other bloke. It was why I couldn't understand some of these girls. They all knew by that point that it was Ashley I loved. I'd made it more than clear that I wanted no one else but her. This didn't stop them from trying to pursue me. Hell, even before I got with her they knew I was in love with her. I'd been told many times that they all knew it. All it did was make them more competitive.

"I just never thought Ellen would be single for so long. She hasn't been single since second year," I said.

"Believe me, I am surprised too but maybe it's a good thing. She should be dating someone if she wants someone else," Michael said.

"What if she told you right now that she wanted you?" I asked. "Would you reject her?"

"I'm with Sarah," Michael answered. "So of course I would. Things are going well with Sarah right now. Why would I end a good thing for someone who just wants you? Sarah sincerely likes me. Ellen would just settle with me."

"You've changed your tune," I said. "I remember how shocked you were that I chose Ashley."

"You were single when Ellen said something to you," Michael said. "Look, I still love Ellen. Maybe I always will, but I can't do that to Sarah. I know months ago I said I would dump her for Ellen, but Sarah and me had only just got together. Now we are involved, and maybe I could eventually fall in love with her. Why end a good thing for a girl who wants another bloke? If Ellen and me were single right now? Yes I would without hesitation but I have a girlfriend."

"Well I am glad to see you're growing up," I said to him.

"That and I don't want to be an idiot," Michael answered with a shrug. "I have too much respect for Sarah."

He'd seemed a bit depressed since the holidays. He'd walked out on his parents in the summer, but recently they'd signed over all custody rights to my parents and Ashley's parents. My parents had gone over to his place and had basically threatened them. So now they no longer could make anymore decisions when it came to him, and he never had to go home again. Michael had been depressed when we'd told him the news.

"Anyway, can't we take a break from studying?" Michael asked. "I feel like that's all we ever do anymore. Anytime we all hang out, it's just to do school work. I can't remember the last time the four of us actually relaxed."

"We'll be able to relax at Barry's wedding," I reminded him.

"The wedding isn't for another month," Michael complained as Ellen sat down to join us. "You're saying we aren't going to have anymore fun until the wedding?"

"No, but it's a week night," I answered Michael. "We can relax on the weekend. Most of this stuff is due on Friday."

"You know you can't convince Ben not to do homework," Ellen said with a smile.

"No, I think he's right," I said to Ellen, "we should start relaxing more on the weekends. Whether you believe it or not the work load is getting to me as well. I am sick and tired of school work. I am tired of being stressed all the time."

"I can't believe you're actually admitting to that," Ellen said. "I mean, I figured you must be getting stressed but you never admit to it."

"Well I am," I told her. "It seems as if I get through one pile only to have more added to it. My sisters and Barry told me that fifth year would be a nightmare. I believed them, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. I am looking forward to getting out of the castle for a weekend for Barry's wedding."

"Must be nice," Ellen muttered.

Ellen's mother had told her that under no circumstances could she go to the wedding. Ashley's mother had said the same thing. I had been looking forward to taking my girlfriend to the wedding. I didn't understand what the big deal was. They were only going to miss one day of school. I thought it was ridiculous, and I even wrote to Ashley's mother to tell her that I'd make sure she was okay when it came to school work. Her mother had written back instantly to tell me she appreciated it, but she wasn't budging on this one.

"Ellen, have you been giving me puking pastilles?" Michael asked her.

"No why?" Ellen asked still looking moody.

"Because I have puking pastilles in my bag. I know they weren't there before. I don't exactly carry them on me, and I most certainly didn't have twelve of them," he replied. "I usually just buy six of each. So someone gave them to me. I already asked Jared and Stan because I know sometimes they buy them, and it wasn't them. You're the only other person I can think of that would buy them. Unless it was Anne, Jess or Erica but I doubt even they would use them this year. Anne only used them sometimes."

"Well you should test those before you eat them then," I said to him. "I don't want to think that someone would try to poison you, but it seems odd that someone slipped them in your bag."

"A bit paranoid aren't you?" Ellen asked. "The war is over now."

"People are trying to start things up again," I said to her. "You know that there have been odd groups in Hogsmeade in Diagon Alley," I wasn't sure if Ashley had told them about her confrontation in Diagon Alley so I wasn't going to bring it up. I knew she was still worried that Michael would get angry with her. She had talked to Harry Potter after all. "Some of their kids go here."

"Like Don Zent and Xavier Opress?" Michael asked. "They seem like all talk. They're cowards."

"Which is why they would slip something in your bag," I said. "I could be completely wrong but I just think you should test those. You might have a very good friend or someone who is trying to mess with you."

"Well I did see-" and then Ellen stopped.

"You saw what?" Michael asked.

"I think there is a chance I might know who did it, but I could be wrong. It would be unlike that person to put them in there. The person I am thinking of doesn't typically buy them," Ellen said.

"Who is it then?" I asked.

"I don't want to say unless I am wrong," Ellen answered. "I'll talk to the person about it first. If it turns out it was them, I will tell you."

"Is this person a suspicious person?" Michael asked her and Ellen shook her head.

"No, the person definitely isn't suspicious at all. It would be just strange if it was them who did it," she answered. "It's why I want to find out for sure. If it was them, the candies won't have been tampered with but I just find it odd that they had it."

"Why is it such a big secret then?" I asked Ellen.

"Because is it," she said. "Look, I'll find out what I need to find out okay?"

"Sure," Michael told her with a shrug. "I'd just like to find out where they came from. It's not a big deal if they weren't tampered with. I just find it strange to find twelve puking pastilles. Maybe it was even Derek and Rory. They've forgiven me for last year."

"Well give them here so I can test them for you," I said to Michael, "I know the spell."

Michael reached into his bag and dropped a dozen of the candies in front of me. I muttered a few spells that I knew. It would be better if Ashley was here. She knew some of the charms but I wasn't sure where she was. It was kind of odd that she hadn't with Ellen. After I did the most known spells, I couldn't find anything that could possibly be wrong with them.

"Well they seem safe," I told him after a few minutes. "I guess you just have a good friend. Ashley might know some charms, but I don't think they'll tell you any differently."

"I don't want to bother her with this," Michael said. "I think she's stressed. She looks like she's lost a lot of weight recently again. Have you noticed anything Ben?"

"Yes, Ellen and I were talking about that the other day," I said as I glanced at Ellen who gave me a small shrug.

"I haven't had the chance to ask her yet. We haven't been alone long enough to talk about it," Ellen told me.

"Speaking of which, where is she?" Michael asked me and now it was my turn to shrug.

"I thought she was off with Ellen," I said as I glanced at Ellen.

"No, I was training for Quidditch," Ellen told me. "I figured she'd be with the two of you."

"She disappears a lot when you two are off at Quidditch practice," Michael said. "I wonder what's going on with her now? You two are close and you don't know Ben?"

"No," I said, "but I have so much I need to do and I don't like to pry. She isn't fighting with any of us, so it can't be like second year. She seems happy except when we're doing school work but none of us are happy with our work load. So I can't really think of what is going on. I know sometimes she likes to try and spend time with Alana, but Alana is in the common room right now."

I glanced up to where the three second years were seated. They were laughing together while they played exploding snap. I missed the days when we could finish up our homework and just have fun together. I couldn't remember the last time we all sat back and relaxed on a week night. At times I missed being in the younger years. I actually missed when our biggest stress was gossip around the castle.

Around the common room, anyone in the fourth year or younger were laughing with their groups of friends. Anyone if the fifth year and older were working hard, although some of the sixth years were even joking around. Barry had told me that sixth year was a relief between fifth and seventh year, but even seventh year was no way near as hard as the fifth. The NEWTs were the most important exams we'd take, but we only had two years of study to get through. OWLs were the hardest because we had five years to get through.

I wondered where it was that Ashley could be. She should have been with us working on our Arithmancy work. I'd told her that Michael and me were planning on working on it. It was the number one subject that she needed to catch up on.

"I'm sure she's fine where ever she is," Ellen told me as she noticed me looking around the common room. "She could be in the library for all we know. You usually don't worry about her when she takes off."

"Normally she isn't losing a lot of weight," I said to Ellen. "The last time she lost a lot of weight was when we were in second year, and we know the reason behind that."

"Ben you need to be careful about smothering her," Michael said. "I'm sure she is fine. I know you love her, but sometimes you can be over protective."

"I know," I said and sighed.

Sometimes I did worry about her but I didn't think I smothered her. I decided for the moment that Michael was right. She was probably just studying in the library. I knew she was trying to make sure she maintained her other friendships. I couldn't expect her to only hang out with me or study with me.

Ellen and Ashley began running the corridors early Saturdays and Sundays. I found out it was the reason why she disappeared sometimes. She liked to go for jogs around the corridors at nights. She'd started to do it when we had our Quidditch practices. I couldn't believe that she and Ellen were willing to get up early just to jog. Ellen told us it was to help her stay fit for Quidditch because it would be expected when she was professional. I understood that, but I didn't get why Ashley felt the need to do it. I was glad the mystery was solved though.

I was reading through a letter that Barry had sent me one afternoon while they discussed this. Normally Barry sent me message through the message parchment, but he'd wanted to make sure I had information I couldn't lose. It was all wedding information that me the best man needed to know. It was hard being a best man while I was at school. I was supposed to plan a bachelor party and everything. Barry had decided that we'd have it after the wedding. It was strange, but he wanted me there for it.

"I like running in the mornings," Ashley was saying to Ellen. "No one stares as much. I always get funny looks when I run in the evenings."

"That explains why you've lost weight though," I said to her. "I've noticed you've been getting thinner. I was getting worried."

Ellen had never found out for me, or if she did, she hadn't told me. There was a chance she knew since they were now jogging together and it irritated me that she couldn't have told me. I'd asked her to find out since I was worried.

"Well at least I am not too heavy if I sit on you," Ashley said sounding irritated. I thought it was an odd comment and I wondered where the irritation was coming from. Perhaps it was because she was working on Arithmancy.

"I don't think that would ever be the case," I said as I continued to read through Barry's instructions.

"You said I was getting heavy on the train," she said. "Remember?"

I glanced up at her with surprise. I'd been joking on the train and I hadn't thought that she would take me seriously. I'd never thought she was heavy once. I didn't realize I'd have to watch what I said around her when it came to that. She'd never been the kind of girl who complained about her weight. That had been one of Nicole's downfalls. She was skinny but for some reason she thought she was fat. I had to be careful what I said around her or else she thought I was calling her fat. I'd never had that problem with Ashley in all the years I'd known her.

"I was joking, I wasn't serious. I've always found you to be quite light. Wait, that's not why you're doing this? I don't think you're too heavy," I said to her with worry now. Was she really losing all that weight because of what I'd thought had been a harmless comment?

"No of course not," she said quickly and I could tell she was lying. I always knew when she was lying to me.

"Don't lie," I said feeling angry with her now. "You took what I said seriously and you've been losing weight since."

Michael let out a small whistle. "I think I am going to go see what Sarah is doing."

Without another word, he got up and joined Sarah and Melanie. He didn't look back at us. I looked over at Ellen who was smirking for some reason. I wondered if she was getting enjoyment out of the fact that we were arguing. If she was, I was going to have a word with her later about that. I knew she was still in love with me, but how could she be happy that we were fighting? I saw her look at Ashley before she looked back down at her essay again.

She did know about Ashley's weight loss and she hadn't told me. I could tell and I was furious with her too. It would have been nice to have some kind of warning. I could have talked to Ashley about it.

"Okay fine, I did take offence to it at first, but now I like it," Ashley told me.

"You should have said something," I said. "I don't want you feeling insecure like that."

She'd never needed to lose weight. I'd seen her shortly after that train ride and she had looked perfect. I hadn't thought that she'd been too fat at all.

"Look you've seen my sister, and you've even seen that my mother has gained weight," she answered. "I don't want to gain weight."

"That's fine," I replied and I didn't see an issue with her wanting to watch her weight. Her mother who had always been thin had actually gained weight. I just didn't like the fact that she was doing it because she thought that I thought I was too fat. "But you are doing this because of what I said. I didn't mean to make you feel you should have to lose weight. You didn't, and you don't."

"Ben, it's fine. I shouldn't have overreacted to it," she said before she glanced down at her homework again

"Sure," I said but I wasn't happy about it. I didn't want my girlfriend thinking she had to lose weight for me. I remembered telling her that I didn't like overweight girls, and I was sure she remembered that too. So she'd been worried that she had to weight because of my comment on the train, and the fact that she thought I would stop loving her.

I waited until Ellen and I were headed to Quidditch practice to tell her off.

"You could have warned me!" I said to Ellen angrily. "You knew exactly why she was losing weight. You promised me that you would find out for me."

"Ben she asked me not to tell you," Ellen said. "I don't think she even planned to tell you, but she was in a bad mood that day. I think it slipped out. She was worried you'd be upset that you were the cause to her weight loss, so she wanted to keep it secret. We were just planning to tell you that the weight loss came from the jogging. She knows she overreacted to your comment and she feels bad."

"And you seemed to enjoy every moment of it. I saw you smirking about our fight!" I said.

"You weren't fighting and I wouldn't find it funny that you were anyway. I thought it was funny that Ashley made a big deal out of not telling you, and then she did because she was moody," Ellen said and then she glared at me. "Thanks for thinking that about me though," and without another word she rushed ahead of me.

I didn't bother to chase her. Perhaps she was right, but I was never going to feel comfortable around her. Not until I knew she had moved on from me for sure. She still stared at me often, and although Ashley and I really didn't really fight I did notice that Ellen watched us intently if we had minor arguments. I had to wonder how she would react if Ashley and I ever got into an actual fight.

At the moment, I wasn't in the mood and I hoped after our practice that Ellen would calm down. I didn't want to fight with anyone. All I wanted at that moment was for Barry's wedding to come. I wouldn't have to think about OWLs or any other stresses. I could just let for for a couple of nights.

Things seemed awkward with Ashley for days after the conversation. We still hung out but I felt nervous about talking to her about anything. I knew she was eating healthy and she was still going for her runs, and I really was fine with it. There was nothing wrong with eating healthy and exercising. I even considered doing it myself. Barry had started to work out at the gym and sometimes he lifted weights. Perhaps I could do the same. I even considered asking Ashley if she wanted me to join her on her runs, but I worried somehow she would take it the wrong way.

I'd never thought that I would have that issue with her. Ever since we'd made up in first year, we'd been able to talk to each other about anything. We'd even joked about weight issues in the second year. I regretted so much that I'd told her that she was heavy. Michael told me that he thought she was overreacting to it.

"Even she says she was overreacting to it," Michael told me. "You know she regrets bringing it up. She told me that she is just scared to end up gaining weight like her mother and sister. She said that she should have been always watching her weight."

"I don't care if she wants to watch her weight," I said. "She's doing it because I made that comment."

"You two are going to have to get past this," Michael said. "You two need to sit down and talk about it again. It's just going to be awkward between you two if you don't."

"I know, but I just worry about bringing it up," I said. "I never thought I'd have to watch what I say around her. She's never been one that seemed insecure about her weight."

"Neither did I," Michael agreed. "But she's also a girl and she is insecure about her looks. Ellen isn't someone who I thought would ever be insecure about her weight either. I told her that she gained some weight, but it was meant as a compliment. You know she was too skinny after everything that happened that day in Hogsmeade. She looked sickly back then. However, she thought I was calling her fat! I kind of wonder if that's why she decided to run with Ashley. She says it's for Quidditch but I find it a bit strange that she decided to run after I mentioned it to her."

"Really?" I asked with surprised. "I didn't know that."

"It was just between Ellen and me," Michael said with a shrug. "I just think you two should talk about it at some point."

"We will," I said. "I'll wait for the right amount of time for us to do it. Things feel wrong between us right now."

I started counting down the days to Barry's wedding date. I knew Michael was looking forward to it as well. The girls were depressed about this. They wanted to go so much as well, and I still didn't understand why their parents were so against it. Friday classes were never really that important anyway. They wouldn't be missing anything too important.

"Looks like you'll be my date to Hogsmeade," Ashley said to Ellen in a moody voice as Michael and I discussed the wedding.

"Sounds good to me," Ellen said sounding just as moody. "I just can't believe my parents. It's one school day, just one!"

"It really is ridiculous," I agreed. "My parents did try as well. They wrote both your parents but neither would budge on their decision."

"I can't wait until I've seventeen," Ashley sighed. "I'll finally be able to make my own decisions."

"Did your mum ever find out about the contacts?" Ellen suddenly asked and I had to wonder why she was bringing that up.

It was something that Ashley and I would never agree about. I still found it really selfish that she'd gone behind her mothers back to get them.

"No," Ashley answered. "She doesn't need to know either."

"I still think that was rather selfish of you," I spoke up.

"That's your opinion," Ashley said. "I'm not going over my reasons with you again, so lets just leave it."

I saw her glare at Ellen. I sat thinking about a retort before giving up. I didn't feel like arguing with her. I looked over at Michael who looked back at me. He agreed with me about her and the contacts as well. He also knew why I didn't want to say anything else at the moment. He knew I was worried about having an argument with her.

"Maybe you two could keep Sarah company," Michael said as if to change the subject.

"Melanie will be hanging out with her," Ashley told him.

"This is ridiculous," Michael said now annoyed as well. "I really wish things could be resolved with Melanie. Sarah and I get along so well, but because of this feud with Melanie she can never hang out with us."

"Sarah can hang out with us all she wants, just keep Melanie away," Ellen said to him.

"But she's her best friend," Michael said.

And with that, he got up and walked off. Tensions were starting to run in our group again, and I sincerely hoped we wouldn't all fight again. We didn't need one when it was OWL year. I most certainly didn't want to fight with Ashley. I was scared with the tension that it could lead to a break up. I wished I had a time turner so I could go back to that moment on the train to warn my past self. I would tell myself to never say anything about Ashley's weight.

"Maybe we should try to be friendly with Melanie," Ashley suddenly said

"Are you nuts?" I asked forgetting the weight issue for a moment. I couldn't believe she of all people would say that. Could she really forget what had happened in second year? "Don't you remember what she did in our second year?"

"And that she is constantly ratting everyone out?" Ellen added. "I'm not going to be her friend."

"I'm not saying we should be her friend," Ashley said. "But we should try and make an effort to talk to her for Michael's sake."

"No," I told her. "Sarah is welcome to hang out with us at any time, but I am not making an effort with Melanie."

"Neither am I, and you shouldn't either," Ellen said. "Look what happened the last time you tried to be friends with her. She sabotaged your relationship with Denver. Think about what she'll try to do now that you're with Ben."

"Well she won't be able to break us up," I said even though I worried that we could end up breaking up given the tension we had between us. However, as I really thought about it, I decided I would fight for our relationship. I wasn't going to let one harmless comment ruin what we had. I decided there and then that Ashley and I were going to talk when we had the chance. Melanie wouldn't break us up, and neither would that comment. I wasn't going to let Ashley talk to Melanie and let her bring any more drama in our lives, "but I agree with Ellen," I added to Ashley, "She's just going to try and cause drama for us. I know you mean well, Ash, but I think you of all people should stay away from her."

"Fine, but I just wish things were different," Ashley said. "It's a shame for Michael and even Sarah. Because of Melanie she hasn't been able to hang out with the rest of the Hufflepuff's."

"But that's Sarah's choice," I said. "She's a nice enough girl, she could make friends with anyone but she's chosen to stay friends with Melanie. You can say she's loyal all you want, but it's still her choice to hang out with someone who would probably backstab her in a second."

"Which she has," Ellen added. "She's been trying to break up Sarah and Michael since they got together."

Exactly," I said. "Michael knew that would happen when he started dating her."

"Forget it!" Ellen suddenly said and she slammed her quill down. "I can't concentrate on this right now. I guess since we're stuck here this weekend, I'll do it then."

She got up and walked off. I was glad to see her go. I was hoping maybe Ashley and me could talk before I left for the weekend. I looked over to see what it had been that she'd been working on. I saw that it was Transfiguration and I couldn't blame her. I'd struggled with the assignment myself with Tara's help. Tara had been close to tears as she'd worked on it, and it was unheard of for her to actually tear up over school work. She'd been close to a nervous break down. I was surprised that Ellen wasn't at that point yet. I looked over at Ashley who was staring after her.

"I'm surprised she hasn't had a break down yet," I said in a low voice causing Ashley to look back at me.

"I'm surprised I haven't," she said. "I just want this year over and done with. I feel like our life just consists of homework lately, and the one day when we can get away and have some fun I can't even go."

"You still have Hogsmeade," I assured her and I pointed at her school work. "And I can help you get through most of this. If we get it all done now, you'll have the weekend to relax. Your essay is fine for Potions. There are some corrections, but otherwise it's fine."

"As long as they don't give us more between now and then," she said still unhappily.

"What's with all the depression?" I asked. It was a shame that she couldn't go to Barry's wedding, but I couldn't believe she was getting that depressed over it. She could still enjoy herself with Ellen in Hogsmeade. I was sure that if we got all of her school work out of the way, she'd be able to enjoy two days off in the castle. Usually Hufflepuff had something going on. The poker games were still going on every weekend.

"I'm just fed up with all of this homework all the time, and now the one day I could get away from the castle to have fun with you, I can't. And it feels like things have been rocky between us because I overreacted to some innocent comment you made about my weight," she said.

"Things are fine between us," I said surprised that it was her to bring it up. "I guess I should just watch what I say."

"You shouldn't have to," Ashley said. "I overreacted. It's just something I've always worried about with my sister and my mother. I shouldn't have reacted that way though. I'm still going to keep exercising and watching what I eat. I just shouldn't have made you feel bad for saying an innocent comment."

I smiled at her. I could tell that things would be good between us from then on. Michael had been right. We did need to talk about it, and I was glad that she'd brought it up instead. "It's fine. I'm just sorry I made you feel insecure. Let's just leave it now okay? We'll find some time to spend together, if Slughorn ever has his parties, we could go together."

"Why hasn't he?" she asked.

"Not sure," I said. It was odd. When we'd been in first year, he'd been so enthusiastic but the last few years he wasn't. He seemed ready to leave Hogwarts. "I think he wants to retire after this year. He seems to have lost his enthusiasm over the last few years. I think ever since most of the DA left. I think he's looking to officially retire either this year or next year. The Slub club hasn't been active though. He hasn't even recruited anymore students."

"That's a shame, his parties were always fun," Ashley said still with the depression. I couldn't remember her being this down since the first year. She'd gotten past the whininess years ago, so it was odd to see it from her now.

"Anyway, we'll find sometime for ourselves. The Easter holidays aren't that far away you know. Michael is going to want to spend as much time as he can with Sarah, so we'll get time to ourselves. Ellen will be going home and so will some of the other Hufflepuff's," I said to her hoping to get her to cheer up.

"True," she answered and gave me a weak smile. "It still would have been nice to see Tasha and Barry's wedding," she sighed. "I've never been to a wizarding wedding."

"I'm sure you'll see plenty," I told her. Including our own. I added to myself but I didn't say it. I knew besides our own, there would be plenty that she would go to. She would be at Ellen's, Michael's probably my sisters and likely the Hufflepuff's would have their own that they would invite us to. I was going to say this to her but Melanie walked over to us.

"You've had an owl Ashley," she said. "It was flying around the dormitory, it nearly took my head off."

She threw a thick envelope down on the table in front of Ashley. I wondered who could be writing to her. I knew that she'd given her mother, sister and Rachel message parchments since it was more convenient. Given how thick it was, perhaps Rachel had sent Ashley more photos of Hayden.

"Who is that from?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure…" she said slowly and then her face lit up for the first time in days. "Oh, it's from Hermione!"

She opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of parchment and as I gazed at the open envelope I could see that there was more stuffed in there. It didn't surprise me. From what I'd heard from Barry, she put a lot of effort into her research. I knew Ashley had been wondering why Hermione wasn't getting back to her since their talk at Christmas. Now I knew why. I was glad to see the excitement back in Ashley's face. She handed the letter over to me and then looked at the remaining pieces of parchment.

"Look at all of this," she said to me happily. "She's done her research for sure. She's even found out information about times when people have tried to open a school and it failed."

"Hermione does know how to do her research," I said. "She's one of the most brilliant witches to have entered Hogwarts in years."

"She wants to set up a meeting with the Minister for Magic with me," she said. "I think it would be better to wait until I get my OWL results. I'd rather have those with me in case I need them. How long do they usually take?"

"About a month maybe?" I answered as I tried to remember when my siblings got their results. I was sure it had been about a month however. I did know the Ministry knew the marks long before we did. They did it so that the could mail out your results to your job interests if you applied early enough. "But you know, the Ministry knows your marks before you do."

"I know," she answered. "I'd rather have it with me though. It looks more organized that way. I'd better get back to her."

She grabbed a blank piece of parchment and began to scribble a quick letter back to Hermione. I continued to go through the information that Hermione had sent. I couldn't believe everything she had found out. Barry had told me that she went all out but this was for a Hogwarts student. How had she managed to find the time to find everything with work and anything else she had to do? She obviously cared about helping students out though. I wondered how much she knew about Healers?

I watched as Ashley folded up her letter to Hermione. I knew she hadn't told Michael and Ellen about it yet, but I was sure she wanted to tell more people about this. After all, a famous witch was helping her get career information. I knew she really wanted to be a school teacher.

"Have you decided if you're going to tell Michael and Ellen about all of this yet?" I asked as I gave her back Hermione's information.

"I'm probably going to have to," she said. "There is no harm in telling Ellen, but I just have a feeling that Michael is going to get upset about this."

"If Michael wants to get information about being an Auror, all he has to do is write to Harry," I reminded her. "I'm sure he gets letter all the time about it. It's up to him to make contact. He's my mate, but he needs to get over himself."

I couldn't see Michael getting mad about it this time. He'd grown up since first year, and he really did want things to work out with her. I knew he was tired of the fighting. He'd changed a lot even that year, and I still believed it was moving out of his parents place that helped.

"Maybe I'll tell Ellen this weekend when we go to Hogsmeade," Ashley said to me. "I'll tell Michael about it later."

"Well they should know either way," I told her. "Michael knows that things are going on in Diagon Alley but I don't think he takes it seriously. I think they should know just how serious it is, and you're also one of their best friends. You know Michael feels left out as it is."

"I'll talk to him when you two get back," Ashley assured me. "I know I'm disappointed but I do hope you two have a good time. You're right, Ellen and I can use this weekend to relax in the castle."

"Well I hope you have fun too," I told her. "Now lets work on all this so we can both relax this weekend."

Ashley smiled. I was glad to see that the depression finally gone. Depressed Ashley was never any fun to be around. I hated it when she fell back into that self-pity. It was rare when it did happen thankfully.

After classes on Thursday, Michael and me were allowed to take the floo network to my place. We were using Professor McGonagall's fire in the Headmistresses office. Apparently she was going to be there as well the next day. A lot of former students usually invited the teachers to their weddings. I could see myself wanting to invite Professor Sprout to my wedding someday. She'd always been there for Ashley and me. I knew she'd be happy to see us get married. Maybe we could even let Professor McGonagall go to.

When we got to my place, it was see that the house had been transformed. The wedding was going to be in our backyard. I was surprised because of how cold it was out, but they'd rented a tent and put a heating charm on it. Every room in the house was decorated and I had to admit it looked amazing. I didn't say anything however because blokes weren't supposed to appreciate the decorations.

That night, we spent the evening rehearsing how the wedding party was supposed to go and then we had dinner. I loved Hogwarts dinners but I often missed my mother home cooked meals. It was one thing I wondered about Ashley and me later on. Of course I wasn't the type of guy who believed that a womans job was to cook and clean. I would never force her to be that type of woman, but neither of us could cook. She'd told me multiple times that she couldn't, and I remembered in first year when she said she had burnt soup once. Were we going to be the type of couple who had to order out all the time? Maybe we could hire someone. What would mum think of us showing up everyday for dinner?

I smiled as I thought about this. She would likely love to have us and our kids over every night. I knew she was going to miss cooking for us. She missed it when we were at school. Barry and Brianne both told me that she invited them often to have dinner, and every Sunday they had family meals.

"What are you smiling at?" Michael asked.

"I'm just thinking about how much I love mums cooking," I told Michael.

"Me too," Michael agreed. "Hogwarts is amazing but there is nothing like a home cooked meal."

"I was thinking about Ashley and me too," I said to him. "Neither of us can cook. We'll probably have to order out."

"Ashley can cook," Michael said. "She made us all breakfast and if her parents weren't around, she would make something for us."

"She burnt soup once," I reminded him.

"When she was eleven," Michael answered. "The girl can cook. Her mum has been teaching her. I wouldn't say she knows how to do anything fancy, but she knows the basics. She once made us this really delicious chicken dinner. I had three helpings of it."

"She hasn't cooked for me," I said feeling slightly annoyed and a little jealous.

"She made you breakfast when we went to her place last summer," Michael said with raised eyebrows. "She made it for all of us. Anyway, you're not going to be one of those blokes who expect their wives to be in the kitchen are you?"

"No," I said quickly. "I would never ask that of her. I was thinking about both of us."

The rest of the night we spent joking around with Barry and his friends. I had to wonder why we couldn't have the bachelor party that night. Barry told me it was because he didn't want to be tired or hung over the day of his wedding. I'd never heard of someone having their party the day after, and all we were doing was going to a Quidditch match. I didn't think we should get strippers but it just seemed strange. I wanted a night out when I had mine.

Michael found it strange as well, but he wasn't complaining. He was just happy to be invited. Tasha and the girls were going to a spa for hers, they were inviting my mother. On Sunday was when Tasha and Barry would leave for Cuba to go on their honeymoon. I felt jealous. I wouldn't mind going away somewhere warm for the winter. It was so bitterly cold lately. I actually couldn't wait to be done school so I could do what I wanted.

The next day our house was full of people. I was shocked to see that even Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were invited. I guessed it was because Barry had been a Head with Hermione. I knew they were friends, but I just didn't expect I'd ever see her in my house. Michael seemed a little star struck by her as well, and he was supposed to be an usher. I felt amused as I thought about him trying to usher her and Ron to their seats.

I hoped I could get the chance to talk to her just to thank her. She had brought so much confidence to Ashley and her plans for the school. I hoped she would stay for the reception and that people wouldn't try to hog her attention too much. I couldn't talk to her right away since I had to stand up in the wedding.

I'd been to so many wizarding weddings, and even as a small boy I'd been a ring bearer a time or two. It was the first time I to be a groomsmen and a best man however. I didn't even feel as if I'd done the best for my duties but Barry seemed thankful for me either way. It hadn't me who had planned his party, and I hadn't been much help with robe fittings. The night before had been the first time I'd even tried mine on.

However, none of that seemed to matter as I watched Tasha and Barry say their vows to each other. I'd known even as a small boy that I would eventually see them marry. I remembered the first time I had met her. Barry had invited her to our place for the Christmas holidays. She had spent a lot of her time with Brianne and me. She'd tried to spend time with Brenda too, but of course my oldest sister wouldn't talk to her. Brenda had always hated our friends, even at that age.

Now they were kissing as husband and wife while some birds and bells flew over their heads. People immediately jumped to their feet to clap. I smiled as I watched them and wondered what it would be like when Ashley and I finally kissed as husband and wife.

"That was an amazing wedding," Michael told me afterwards. "Wizard weddings are so different from muggle ones. I've never been to a muggle wedding but I saw some on the telly. Tasha looked so beautiful as well. You can't even tell she's pregnant."

"Yeah I know," I said.

We were sitting at a table and watching them making their rounds to different people. I gazed around the room until my eyes fell on Hermione and Ron. They were standing off to the side with some drinks. They were talking to a girl I knew was named Luna Lovegood.

"I'll be right back," I told Michael. "I just want to talk to Hermione about something."

"What am I supposed to do?" Michael asked looking annoyed that I was leaving him.

"Mingle?" I suggested. "There is my cousin Sam, go talk to him."

And without another word, I got up and headed over to Hermione. I wanted to talk to her before she was surrounded. She was a war hero and I knew for the moment that the attention was on Barry and Tasha but eventually she would be center of attention too. So I figured I should take my opportunity to talk to her.

"Hello," I said when I reached her and I held out my hand for her to shake. "I'm Ben Hoofer, Barry's brother."

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Yes I remember you from your first year," and she looked at Ron. "He used to make such a big deal out of why he wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw with the rest of his siblings. Barry used to talk about you all the time. You're definitely a lot taller from what I remember. I think you're even taller than Barry now."

"I like Barry," the girl Luna spoke up. "I like Tasha too. Neither of them were ever mean to me like everyone else was. Barry defended me when a couple of boys in my year stole some of my things. I was surprised he invited me to his wedding."

"Well he must have liked you well enough then," I said and frowned. "Why were people mean to you?"

"Oh they thought I was loony. Brenda often teased me for being loony. She always called me Loony Lovegood with everyone else," Luna said.

I glanced over at my sister with surprise. I knew she hadn't liked too many people but I'd never believed she'd be a bully either. Why would people make fun of this girl anyway? I'd heard stories of Luna but I didn't understand why people would make fun of her.

"Well it's nice to meet you," I finally said. I wasn't entirely sure what to say. I knew she was also someone who had fought in the battle and she was good friends with Harry, Hermione and Ron. She even had her own chocolate frog card. The last I'd heard was that she was travelling to find exotic creatures, so I was a bit surprised to see her at Barry's wedding. "I heard you were travelling," I added.

"Oh I was and I will be, but I couldn't miss Barry and Tasha's wedding. Everyone knew they would eventually marry, just as we all knew Hermione and Ron would," Luna told me with a smile.

"Barry told me you have a girlfriend now," Hermione said to me. "Is she around? He told me that she was a girl that everyone knew you'd end up with as well. Is it that little blond girl you used to hang out with all the time?"

"No," I said quickly surprised that she remembered me taking Ellen to Slughorns parties. "Actually, that's why I came over to talk to you. I wanted to thank you. My girlfriend is Ashley. You've given her so much confidence about the future now. She wasn't allowed to come to the wedding, her mum didn't want her to miss school. She was depressed about it, but she got your letter and she got excited again. Thank you for taking the time in helping her."

"Oh yes I remember you hung out with her as well," Hermione said with a smile. "I'm more than happy to help her out. I always wondered why there wasn't a school before Hogwarts to be honest. I think it would have helped a lot of the muggleborn kids. Harry wasn't muggleborn but he was clueless about the wizarding world," and she nudged Ron who hadn't said a word so far. "We used to have to tell him things all the time. It's a shame she couldn't have come. I would like to have talked to her again. I like her. She seems like a nice girl. She seems a little shy, but she's a nice girl."

"She seemed really intimidated to meet us all," Ron finally said with a smile.

He'd been eyeing me suspiciously moments before, and I wondered if he worried that I was trying to hit on his wife. I'd heard he was a bit of a jealous bloke when it came to Hermione, which was ridiculous. Everyone knew she loved him, and I couldn't think of anyone being stupid enough to try and interfere with their relationship anyway. I was also sixteen years old. How could the man in front of me feel threatened by a sixteen year old? He was a war hero!

"She is really shy," I said. "It took us years to break her out of her shell. She's a lot better than she used to be. In our first year she wouldn't talk to anyone outside our group. She said she met you in the first year too, and she'd been nervous back then as well. I don't think she was expecting to run into Harry Potter that day in Diagon Alley, or to meet most of his family either. She's thankful for the help you gave her, and I would like for you to thank Harry for me too. I appreciate that he got her home safely. I don't trust the Zent or Opress family at all. My dad put protection charms on her home that very night."

"Harry did as well," Ron told me. "Her house is well protected and if anyone who shouldn't go there does, the Aurors will know. We don't know what that group is up to at the moment, but they seem as if they want things back to when Voldemort had taken over. She really shouldn't go to Diagon Alley alone for a while though. They'll probably be furious that she went home with Harry Potter."

"Have their kids tried anything at school with her?" Hermione asked looking concerned as well.

I shook my head. "Xavier and Don are all talk. I don't think they will at school."

"Well just keep an eye out on them," Hermione told me. "Speaking of Ashley, I did just get her letter this morning. I'll write back to her tomorrow. It's my pleasure to help her or anyone else who needs help. I like to do what I can for Hogwarts students."

After a few more minutes of conversation, we were joined by more people who seemed to remember Hermione, Ron and Luna from school. I said a quick good-bye and then scanned the tent for Michael. I could see him doing shots with Sam. I was glad to see that he was having a good time. Some people were already dancing. I could see my mum and dad dancing to a slow song. Tasha and Barry were off to the side with some of their school friends. I would have to ask the bride for a dance eventually.

"Benny!" Someone said to me excitedly.

I turned to see that it was Hilda, Brianne's friend. She had gotten prettier since the last time I had seen her. At weddings, people usually wore classy robes. She was wearing a muggle dress that was very revealing. I had a girlfriend that I loved, but I couldn't help but appreciate her beauty and that dress.

"You're even more grown up than before," she said and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek. "Maybe later we can go up to your room," she added with a wink. "I doubt you're a virgin still, you're too gorgeous for that. If you are, I would be more than willing to take your virginity for you."

"I have a girlfriend now," I told her.

"I don't see her around now," Hilda said and moved closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me.

"Her mother didn't give her permission to come," I said as I pulled out of her grasp.

"What she doesn't know won't her," Hilda told me.

"I don't cheat and I love my girlfriend," I said with irritation as I stepped back from her even more. Why did girls continue to hit on blokes even if they had girlfriends?

"Who is it? Ellen?" She asked snidely now.

"No, it's Ashley," I said.

"Ew really?" She asked. "Oh Benny, you can do so much better than her. She's so ugly."

"Walking away now," I said furiously as I turned to walk off.

"Can't we just have one dance?" Hilda asked. "I promise I won't do anything and I won't insult your girlfriend anymore. I am just surprised that you ended up with her."

"I don't really want to dance with someone who insults my girlfriend," I said. "I also don't like girls who continue to hit on me when I've told them I have a girlfriend."

"I'm sorry," Hilda said. "Even if you don't want to dance with me, I am sorry. It's just I was always in love with Barry. I loved him since my first year and you look so much like him. I'm being a bitch. I shouldn't have insulted your girlfriend, and I shouldn't have kept hitting on you. I'm just one of those girls who feel lonely after watching the man of their dreams get married. I was out of line."

"Well if you mean it, and you're not being manipulative," I began and I glared right into her eyes, "I will dance with you. I do know about the lengths that some girls will go to for certain blokes. So don't even try anything. If you're sincere than we can dance, but no funny business."

Hilda smiled at me. "Ben, I am a flirt but I am not manipulative like that."

I nodded and led Hilda out to where everyone else was dancing. She kept to her word and didn't do anything stupid. However, when Sam came over to us to see if he could dance with her, she latched on right away. She knew him well enough that she knew he didn't have a girlfriend. I was just shocked that she would go after a fifteen year old when she was eighteen. I wasn't going to dwell on it though. I was just glad that she was leaving me alone.

I danced with a lot of pretty girls that night, but I wished that I had Ashley by my side. I wondered what she was doing that night. Were they having a party in the common room? She and Ellen were likely getting drunk, and if they weren't that night they probably would after the Hogsmeade trip. I did feel bad that I couldn't be with my girlfriend for Valentines Day. It seemed almost wrong to be dancing with girls while I had a girlfriend. During our parties in the common room Ashley never cared when I danced with other girls, but this seemed different since she wasn't around, and it was Valentines Day. Oddly enough, I even danced with Luna Lovegood. I'd found her dancing my herself, and so I asked if she wanted a partner.

"You're nice like Barry," she told me after the dance. "No one ever asks me to dance. You're girlfriend is a lucky girl."

I noticed Luna tended to say things that were uncomfortable and truthful. I never knew what to say when she said things like that. After I danced with her, I went looking for Tasha. I still hadn't had the chance to dance with the bride. I found her talking to Hermione and Ron.

"Can I have a dance with the bride?" I asked as I gave Hermione and Ron a smile.

"Sure," Tasha said. "Geez, I never thought I'd see the day when I had to look up to you," she added with a smile. "You're taller than Barry now."

I smiled back at her and then took her by the hand. She looked so pretty in her wedding robes, and she had that glow that pregnant women usually had.

"I'll talk to you later," Tasha called out to Hermione.

Tasha and I danced to a few songs, and then I was surprised when Hermione walked over to request a dance with me.

"I danced with the groom but not the best man," she told me with a smile.

I wondered how Ron felt about this, but I saw that he was now dancing with Tasha. I never dreamed that I would get the chance to dance with Hermione Granger, well Weasley. I'd been so young when I'd first met her. As a kid I'd always made her out to be this amazing heroine but she was really just a normal hard-working woman. We discussed Ashley and the school a bit more, but she also asked me about what I wanted to do after Hogwarts.

"I want to be a Healer," I told her. "I just hope I get my OWLs."

"Well if you're anything like Barry, then I am sure you will," Hermione told me.

I saw that Michael was eyeballing me and I could see the look of envy on his face.

"Thank you," I said with a smile. "I'm top of the year now, I finally beat this girl Tara at it but it all depends on OWL grades now," I told her.

"Well I'm sure you'll be fine. I wish I knew more about Healers to advise you but I really don't and I don't know anyone who works in that field. I'm sure Madame Pomfrey might have some advice for you. She's amazing. Ron and Harry were always in the hospital wing. She grew Harry's bones back for him."

"It's great that you're willing to help out students," I said as I thought about Ashley again. "Especially Ashley. You're in magical law so you're helping her with something unrelated to your career."

"Yes, but I know people in the Ministry. Percy Weasley and Kingsley Shaklebolt are the ones who can help her. I've been given the task to be her informant. Percy would have been but- well he's too formal and I feel that given that she's shy, she wouldn't have been comfortable with him. Besides, I've always believed that there should be primary wizarding schools. I think there should be something better than telling a muggleborn that she's a wizard, and then sending her off to a boarding school for seven years," Hermione told me.

"I know I thanked you before," I said, "but I really do appreciate your help with her," and then I glanced at Michael again who was looking moody all by himself at a table. "And it might be too much to ask but I was wondering if you could dance with my friend next," I added as I nodded in Michael's direction. "He always feels left out and he's not too confident. I know he's going to be jealous that I danced with you and he didn't."

Hermione glanced over at him. "Oh it's no problem at all," she said with a grin. "It's a wedding and I'm here to have a good time. If it will make his night than I will. I think I remember that kid. I believe I gave him some detentions."

"Likely," I said with a grin.

"It was nice meeting you again Ben. I'm sure we'll talk to each other more since you're dating Ashley," she said and she leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek.

She turned and walked over to Michael who looked up in surprise. I gave him a wink before I went looking for Sam. I hadn't really had the chance to have some drinks yet. The girls at the wedding didn't seem to want to give me a moment alone. How did Barry know so many girls anyway? I had a feelings he'd invited a lot of the girls in his year. Most seemed older and the party seemed to be growing. Now I just wanted to get blissfully drunk.


	7. More Drama

By the time we got back to Hogwarts, both Michael and I felt relaxed. Brenda had given us some practice papers for OWLs. I appreciated and I was sure Ashley would want some too. I grabbed some for Ellen too. I wasn't sure if she would want them or not. She knew the exams were serious, but at times she still had her same attitude when it came to school work. Michael was eager for them, and he'd even started working on them right away.

When we found Ashley and Ellen, it was to find them a lot more relaxed as well. Apparently they'd decided to make use of the weekend and have a good time as well. There had been a big party in the common room after the Hogsmeade trip and the girls had gotten drunk. People were ready to tell me tales of Ashley drinking and singing in the common room. I was pleased to hear that she had fun and she didn't mope about the wedding.

"Good to know you can still have fun without me," I said to her after a few days of hearing about what she did.

"You know I can," she answered. "The hangover the next day was awful though. I threw up all day. I'm glad Jess and Erica put the bin beside my bed."

"Too bad. I have some of my hang over potions," I said to her. "You could have used one of them."

Ashley shrugged. "I don't care. It was worth it. I told Ellen about Diagon Alley and Hermione. She thinks it's suspicious too."

"Everyone thinks it's suspicious," I told her. "Speaking of which, Hermione was at Barry's wedding. I talked to her and I thanked her for helping you out."

"She got back to me with her number," Ashley told me. "I made my appointment with her to go to the Ministry on August fourth. She never mentioned anything about you."

I shrugged. "Well that's not why I am mentioning it. She danced with me and then Michael. They talked about you as well, and she told him about your Diagon Alley meeting. He wants to know why you didn't tell him about it. I'm sure he'll be bringing it up to you eventually," I told her.

Ashley paled a little. "Is he angry with me?"

"Nope, he took offense to it," I told her. "You know how he gets when he thinks he is being left out of things. I told him you'd talk to him about it."

"You didn't tell him why I kept it secret at least?" She asked.

"No because I don't think I should have to speak for you," I told her. "You should have told him and Ellen about it as well right away."

Ashley sighed. "Well I'll talk to him later. Tell me more about the wedding though. What else did Hermione say?"

Michael confronted Ashley about it later that day. Ellen wasn't around, but I'd noticed since Sunday that she was disappearing again. Perhaps she had another secret boyfriend, I hoped she did. I wasn't sure where she was at the moment. Michael had gone off to spend some time with Sarah. He was gazing at Ashley as he took a seat at our table.

"So why is it that I have to hear from Hermione Weasley that you'd had a confrontation with Don Zent and Xavier Opress in Diagon Alley," he said. "You promised me that you weren't going to leave me out of things anymore Ashley. Why is it that Ben and Ellen always still hear things first before me?"

"I only just told Ellen on Saturday in Hogsmeade," Ashley told him. "I wasn't sure if it was that important to tell you two, but Ben believed it was. It was also because Harry Potter took me home. I was planning to tell you, but we haven't really talked alone since you came back."

"Of course it's important enough for us to hear," Michael told her. "Those two are bad news. You know they are, and obviously if you were too scared to let them take you home, you know that. It's almost two months later, and I am just hearing about it now. It should have been you I heard it from, not Hermione."

"Look I'm sorry Michael," Ashley said. "You're right. I should have told you and Ellen as well. I told Ben I'd tell you after you got back from the wedding, and that was the plan," and then she smirked. "You know as angry as you seem, I'm surprised you held back."

"I'm not angry with you," Michael said. "And I haven't had time to talk to you until now. I've been spending time with Sarah and doing school work. I asked Ben about it and he wouldn't tell me anything on the weekend. Besides," he added as he now looked at me. "I heard Ben telling you that I knew," and then he looked back at her. "You said you were keeping it a secret from me. So it's obviously not just because you didn't feel it wasn't important enough."

"Because," she answered as she set her quill down, "Harry Potter took me home."

"So?" Michael asked.

"I didn't want you to get upset that Harry took me home," she said.

Michael stared at her. It was hard to tell by his expression what he was thinking but then he burst into laughter.

"Seriously Ash?" He asked and put an arm around her. "I was an idiot in first year. I thought we were past that. If you talk to Harry Potter than by all means tell me. I'm not going to get angry with you about it again. I'm glad you ran into him. He's an Auror and I'm sure it scared those idiots. Don't be afraid that you're going to upset me. Also, it's great that Hermione is helping you out with the school as well."

She smiled back at him. "I'm sorry Michael," she said.

Michael just gave a small shrug. "Well I've been a prat to you in the past. I guess I just have to continue to prove myself to you. But wait, how did Don and Xavier react to this? They can't be too happy with you at the moment, and now their parents know too."

"They haven't said anything to me," she said. "They give the usual dirty looks but that is it."

"Well just be careful around them," Michael said. "They've always fought with me, and you don't want them to hex you. I know my defensive spells, but you've always been average in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and you aren't the best dueller. Let us know if they say anything to you."

"I will," she said.

I was glad to see what I thought was a potential argument was resolved right away. Things really had changed between Ashley and Michael. If it had been a couple of years ago, they would be at each others throats but they were now smiling at each other with mutual respect. Michael had even been mature about it when he'd brought it up to her. Perhaps my friends were finally growing up. I didn't think any of us were the same as we had been four years ago.

The weeks after that were spent working harder on our school work. The teachers seemed to want to pile it on even more before Easter break started. Many of them told us that after our break, everything would be review. When we had time, we used it to work on the practice sheets that Brenda had given us. Just as I'd suspected, Ellen wanted nothing to do with the sheets. I'd tried to explain to her that they would actually help us out, but she didn't want to hear it.

Michael and Ashley were already organizing their notes by first to fifth year. I understood why they did it, but for me it was easier to do it by the hardest subjects through the hardest years. Third and fifth year for me were the hardest years while fourth and second were easier and obviously first year was the easiest. Ashley seemed confused when I tried to explain it to her, and I didn't get what was so complicated about it. It made sense to me.

Ellen's attitude about it all annoyed me. She was going to end up repeating her fifth year. I didn't want to see her in that situation, but she refused to listen to any of us. All the fifth year Hufflepuff's sat together working hard. We always chose a subject to work on together, or else we'd divide people up to work with the ones who were better in one subject than the other. Ashley was always the one who tutored people in Charms, while Michael helped people out in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

It was getting warmer out and I envied the people who out enjoying it. It had been such a cold and stormy winter. We'd gotten more snow than we usually did. Now most of it was melted and we didn't even have to wear coats to go out anymore. Even though she was being stupid, I even felt jealous of Ellen.

One evening, we all watched as she walked past everyone to go out flying. She looked defiant as she carried her broomstick past us.

"Well hopefully she'll take the exams seriously after the Easter holidays," I said as we watched her go.

"Ellen's convinced that she's going to be a professional Quidditch player," Michael said. "She doesn't think she needs a lot of OWLs for it."

"I'm not denying that she's good," I said to him. I knew she was good enough. I was sure that the scouts were watching her. Every year they sent them to watch at the end of the school year. They'd been watching her since second year. They likely would want her to play professionally. "Anyone who has watched her since second year knows she is good enough," I continued. "We don't know if she'll be drafted though. She also needs something for after. She can't be a professional Quidditch player for the rest of her life."

"She said she'll worry about it then," Michael said and he put down his quill to look at me. "Look mate, I know you're worried about her but you can't keep bothering her about it. She can make her own choices in life. She'll decide what she wants to do. If she doesn't want to study, then she doesn't want to."

"I'm almost jealous of how carefree she is about it," Ashley said and I raised my eyebrows at her in surprise. If she was going to pull an Ellen attitude, I definitely would have something to say about it. I'd told her in first year I wouldn't let her fail. "Not that I am going to do, but look at her. She's not stressed at all about it. The rest of us have spent most of this year stressed by everything we have to do. The Andrew twins have already had break downs, so has Melanie. This time of year is when fifth and seventh years have to be given calming draughts. Ellen isn't letting any of it affect her."

"And you'll see what that does when she does her exams later," I told Ashley in case she was still thinking about it.

"She'll do well in the classes that she wants to do well in," Michael said. "I'm only worried about the classes I need to be an Auror for."

I shook my head. I guess some things about my friends would never change. I didn't understand that attitude. Prospective employers would be impressed with all OWLs, even if they didn't need it. Aurors would be impressed knowing that he knew Arithmancy. Even if he didn't plan on taking it in NEWT level, they could use his expertise in some situations. Sure it was great that he was good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, but there were other things they needed to know as well.

I knew there was no point in arguing though, so I just kept my mouth shut. Both Michael and Ellen would finally understand it when we did our exams and they got their results. I told myself not to worry about them anymore. I was just going to concern myself with my own exams and Ashley's.

When the Easter holidays started, I realized why Michael loved staying at the school for the holidays. Not too many people stayed and the common room was actually peaceful. All the younger students were gone so we didn't have too much noise. We also liked to sit around and drink as well late into the evenings.

The fifth years who had remained there often joined us in the library or outside. I was surprised to see Tara even help out Ashley. The girls disliked each other, but they seemed to forget about their differences as Tara helped Ashley with Arithmancy and Ashley helped her with Charms. I loved the study sessions out by the lake. It was so relaxing to gaze across the lake at the mountains. Ellen was certainly missing out on a good time. I knew she was grounded as well because she'd tried to pretend that her parents had given her permission to go to Barry's wedding. When they'd found out, her mother had told her she was going home and she'd be grounded for the holidays.

I couldn't imagine what she'd do anyway. None of us were around, and we usually got together for the holidays. I didn't imagine she could do much with only Timmy around for company. I hoped her mother was forcing her to at least study.

By the end of holidays, I felt confident that I would do well in my exams. When term started, there were pamphlets from the ministry left out for the fifth and seventh year. I automatically read through the ones about Healing. It turned out that St. Mungos wasn't the only place a person could work as a Healer. It was the place that I wanted to go to, but it was good to know that St. Mungos wasn't my only option.

Everyone else was looking through other career options, but I had my mind made up about Healing. I didn't want to do anything else, and so I ignored the other pamphlets, even when Michael and Ashley tried to show me other ones that might interest me.

"But what if you're not accepted?" Michael asked me. "You're the one always telling us to keep our options open. Maybe you should look into other things as well. You're planning to keep most of your classes. So you'll be qualified for most careers."

"Or you might want to give up on Healing later on," Ashley said to me.

"I want to be a Healer," I insisted.

One good thing was that Ellen seemed to be more serious about her exams now. The rest of us were relaxed but she was extremely stressed. She was reading through most of the pamphlets in a frenzy, even ones such as being a curse breaker. I stared at her as picked up one about working in the Department of Mysteries.

Every night she went to bed late and she'd be up earlier than everyone else. She looked tired, and she looked as if she was starting to lose weight again. I offered her the practice sheets again but all she did was glare at me before walking off.

"I wonder if something happened at home," I said as I watched her go. "I'm glad to see her taking these exams seriously, but not to the point she's stressed."

"I don't think so," Ashley said. "She wrote to me quite a bit over the Easter holidays. She said she got her work done early, and she hung out with Timmy a lot. I think she's just realizing that the exams are almost here."

"It's scary," Michael said. "I'm feeling better about some of my classes, but these exams are going to determine the rest of our lives."

I rolled my eyes, I'd been telling him that for years and even more that year. It wasn't long after that when we started to meet with our Heads of Houses for our careers consultations. I had to meet up with Professor Sprout during Transfiguration. I was disappointed by this because I didn't want to miss any class, but definitely not Transfiguration. My friends all assured me that they would take notes for me. It was just a review day but I still wanted to be there.

Professor Sprout already had my file out when I sat down in her office.

"Mr. Hoofer," she said happily. "I've been very pleased with your work so far this year. I've always been happy with your school work, but this year you've exceeded my expectations. Not only do you have Prefect duties, which you excel at but you have Quidditch as well. With all you've had to do, your marks have not suffered at all. I think you'll do well as Head Boy in your seventh year. You are most certainly a candidate."

"About that," I said uncomfortably. "I don't know if I want to be Head Boy. I want to focus on my NEWTs. I want to be a Healer and I'll need to spend all my time studying."

"Well don't make that decision quite yet," Professor Sprout told me. "Next year we can talk about that again. For now, lets talk about your career. You say that you want to be a Healer? Well, I can honestly say that I don't think you'll have a problem. You've always excelled with your spell work and your potions. It will be hard work Ben," she said using my first name now, which was rare for her. "I believe you could be accepted but you should know what you're getting into first. The hours are long, and it's shift work. They may even keep you longer than your shift, and you won't always have weekends."

I nodded. I already knew all of this. I'd read up about Healing enough to know. I understood the hours and I knew I could handle it.

"I can handle all that," I told her.

"Even if you have a family?" She asked me. "Healers don't often see their families. You and Ms. Dunning may not see each other enough, and if you two have children you may not see them enough."

"We'd make it work," I told her surprised that she was bringing up our relationship and even more surprised that she could see us together after Hogwarts. "It almost sounds as if you're trying to discourage me."

"Not at all Ben," she said. "It's my job to give you the pros and cons of each profession. I just want you to understand the hard work that will go with it. I sincerely believe that you can do it, but I just hope it's not a choice you'll grow to regret. I've had former students grow to resent their jobs because they never have time and they never see their families. So even though I can see that you're set on becoming one, I want you to look into other options as well, just in case. That's all I'll say on the matter. Now, to be accepted into training you'll need OWLs and NEWTs in Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. They prefer it if you get Outstanding but they'll take students with Exceeds Expectations too."

"I was planning on keeping those classes anyway," I informed her. "I want to keep Arithmancy and Ancient Runes as well."

"Well you're doing well in all of those classes," Professor Sprout told me. "The only class you seem to be struggling with is Charms. Right now you are averaging between Acceptable and Exceeds Expectations. The rest of them you have Exceeds Expectations or Outstandings in. I believe you can get OWLs in all your classes."

"Thanks," I said to her. "And I read that Healer training is four years, but that sometimes it can be less if a student does well enough."

"Yes, sometimes if a student works hard enough, they can do two years simultaneously," Professor Sprout said. "You are a hard enough worker and you learn very quickly, but I wouldn't push yourself too hard Ben. If you can't do it, it's okay as well. I know you've always wanted to prove yourself. You are a wonderful student and I hope you won't feel like a failure if you can't do it. It's why I am not so sure about you giving up on Head Boy."

"I'll think about it," I told her, "but I really don't think I will still be playing Quidditch in seventh year. I just want to get the NEWTs I need, and I don't want anything to stand in my way."

"Well I'll ask you again later," Professor Sprout told me. "I don't want you to have any regrets either."

I felt pleased with my consultation, even if it seemed as if she were trying to warn me against becoming a Healer. I believed I'd be fine. I knew that Ashley and I would work through the hours, and Healers did have to have some time off. I could tell that the consultations had gone well for Michael and Ashley as well. They'd both been pleased when they came back from their meetings. The only one who seemed unhappy was Ellen, and she wouldn't talk about it with us either.

When the exams finally came, people began to have breakdowns. Ellen was among them, and she had more than one. She left Potions in tears when her potion exploded. We were handed our exam schedules, and she tore hers up and left the Great Hall with tears running down her cheeks. Everyone stared after her in shock. Ashley pointed her wand at Ellen's torn schedule and muttered: "reparo," and the shreds of paper connected together. Once she examined it to make sure it was good as new, she put it in her bag and followed Ellen out.

Our first exam was Charms, and no one was more happy about this than Ashley. She was lucky that her last name was in the D's. She didn't have to wait too long when she went in for her practical. They called four students in at a time, and she was examined with Tara, Keith and Maisie. I was sure all of them but Maisie would be fine. Ashley left the Great Hall with a huge grin on her face when she was done.

"I really think I earned an O on that one," she told me and then kissed me. "Good luck Ben, I know you'll be fine. I'm just going to go study the practical. I'll be outside by the lake."

I smiled as she hurried away. I was glad that she was enthusiastic about it. I loved seeing her confident when it came to her school work. I think her happiness seemed to help out the remaining fifth years as well. They had all been watching us since we were all lumped together in the room we'd all waited in before our sorting. A lot of people had looked worried before she'd come back into the room, but some were smiling now, and a few people appeared to be standing up taller. Some of the Ravenclaw girls even had determined looks on their faces.

I was glad when it was finally my turn to go in. I was called in with Michael, Lydia Jewel and Sarah. Michael gave me a nervous thumbs up before heading over to one of the examiners. Some of them were still examining some of the students. I had to wait for Denver to finish his first before I could go over to him. My examiner ended up being an elderly old lady by the name of Griselda Marchbanks. Something about her seemed stern, but she gave me a smile as I took a seat in front of her.

"Your name?" She asked in a scratchy shaky voice.

"Benjamin Hoofer," I said and her face lit up.

"Ah yes a Hoofer boy. I should have known. I remember examining each of your siblings. I saw great things from them. In fact, I remember even examining your father and grandfather as well. I expect to see exceptional spell work from you too," she said with a kind smile. "Now, can you show me how to make this egg do cart wheels?"

By the end of the exam, I felt good. There were a few charms I ended up mixing up but I didn't feel that they would make me fail. It did bother me that I forgot the charm to make steam come out of my wand. It was a second year spell. It was one of the ones I hadn't bothered to study, and I should have. I knew I wouldn't fail but it bothered me that I couldn't remember a simple second year charm. It was one of the charms that built up to learning how to conjure. If I couldn't do a basic conjuring charm, how could I expect to do it in sixth year? In NEWT level we would learn to conjure real objects.

Griselda Marchbanks didn't look disappointed in my however. She congratulated me afterwards, so I felt I must have impressed her anyway. I noticed most people left the Great Hall through the main doors, so I had to wonder why Ashley went back into the other room. I figured she must have just wanted to talk to me. I waited by the doors for Michael to finish, and then the two of us walked out to the lake.

At lunch time, everyone seemed a lot more confident than before. Some people seemed upset that their exams didn't go as well as they'd thought they would, but they seemed a lot happier than before. Ellen hadn't joined us at the lake, even though she'd been watching Ashley and me. She knew we'd been out there. At the table she looked upset as we joined her.

"I think I flunked that," she told us sounding depressed. "I know my charms, but I forgot some and mixed some up. If you were to ask me to do it now I could. I've been colouring my nails since Ashley had taught me in first year, but do you think I could remember how to this time?"

"I know what you mean," Michael told her."Don't feel bad."

I knew he had done okay since he'd been beside me, but he hadn't done as well as he could have. While I had forgotten some, he had forgotten a lot more. He'd mixed up levitation charms with hovering charms. He'd also forgotten how to do flashing charms as well, so I was sure that's what he meant when he said that to Ellen.

"Well Maisie probably did worse," Ashley said to them. "She was beside me and she couldn't do any of it. How did she even manage to get to fifth year?"

"Likely nerves," I answered.

I knew Maisie wasn't bright, but she had to know some things to make it to fifth year.

After Charms, I did feel confident both the practical and written work for the rest of the week. Most of my classes I felt that I likely got Outstandings in them. When I studied for the rest of my class, I made sure to study over even the spells that I knew very well. I didn't want to have another situation where I forgot one I shouldn't. I'd learned my lesson from Charms.

I was worried about Arithmancy because fifth year was complicated, and it was the hardest exam out of all the classes but by the end of it I knew I'd passed. It hadn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Michael seemed happy at his desk, but Ashley looked worried.

"How did it go?" I asked her once she and I left the Great Hall.

She automatically burst into tears. I pulled her into my arms to hug her. I still thought it was admirable that she'd tried, and I didn't understand why she was crying. If she failed then it wouldn't be the end of the world.

"Look, you did your best. I think it's amazing that you stuck with it," I told her once her sobs subsided.

"You're not going to need it anyway," Michael said as he walked over to us. "I don't think I did too well either."

"I just wanted at least an OWL in it," she said. "If I fail it will be like I wasted my time in it. There's still Divination to get through and then I am done."

"I hope you don't plan to keep it," I said.

"I don't know yet," she answered.

I decided now wasn't the time to lecture her about it. I was going to do what I could do make sure she didn't continue with it in sixth year. There was no reason for her to do so. Michael just gave me a small shrug, and then we headed outside. Ellen had told us that she would be by the lake. She still had Divination too, and she'd told us that she was going to take advantage of her day off to just relax. She wasn't even going to study for it, but for once I didn't care. She shouldn't have taken it in the first place.

When the exams were done, the fifth years decided that we should have a party, and the seventh years joined in on this. They had just finished their NEWTs, so they were ready to let their hair down as well. It was also their last year and their last party. Now I understood why the fifth and seventh years were the loudest most of the time. I couldn't help but take a shot the moment Jared offered me one.

I found Ellen and Ashley watching the festivities and walked over to join them. I was already feeling giddy from the one shot, and I wanted them to join as well. They had drinks in their hands, but I was sure it was just pumpkin juice and vodka. Moments later, Michael walked over as well. He already had a drink in his hand as well.

"Just think, next year we'll be sixth years and we'll be seventeen," Ashley said to me with a grin on her face.

"We won't have to be reminded of our OWLs all the time," Ellen said happily. "No more school work until next year!"

"That will be a relief," Michael said.

"You've done well this year mate," I said still looking at the drink in his hand. "You haven't been a prat at all."

"I learned my lesson from last year and last summer," Michael answered. "I lost Anne over it, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for that. She was an amazing girlfriend."

"What about Sarah?" Ashley asked as she took a sip of her drink.

"She broke up with me right before our exams," Michael told her. "I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want the pity. She was just tired of the fact that our friends don't get along. Besides, I still miss Anne. I tried making it work with Sarah, but I want Anne back."

I saw Ashley look over at Anne who was with Joey. She looked very happy with him, and I doubted they were going to break up. Michael and Anne had never been a healthy relationship, but I believed Joey and Anne could make it. They weren't on and off again and they seemed to compliment each other. He was quiet and she was loud but it seemed to work for them.

"I know she's with him though," Michael said. "If I have to wait, then I will wait."

"Well just don't wait forever," Ellen said to him.

"I won't," Michael said. "I'm still going to date. I'm not going to sit back be all depressed. I'm going to date other girls, and maybe I'll find another that I really like."

"Same here," Ellen said. "Now that we have this nightmare of year out of the way I am going to start dating again."

"Now we just get to stress on what our OWLs will be," Ashley said. "I hope they don't take too long to come."

"Well, no point in worrying now," I said feeling that the conversation was getting too heavy. "Let's go join the party," and I nodded in the direction of where the fifth years were sitting.

The others seemed more than happy to do so, without another word, they all moved forward simultaneously to join the fifth years. As soon as we all sat down with them, Hank smiled at us.

"The girls have to do shots of firewhiskey!" Hank shouted as he eyed Ashley and Ellen. He handed them each a shot after he poured some firewhiskey into some shot glasses. He then looked at Michael and me. He pointed to the glasses as if to tell us to help ourselves and then he smiled at me. "So Benjamin, are you having an end of summer pool party?" He poured shots for us girls.

"I plan to do it every year. I'll write everyone the date and time again," I said cringing when he called me Benjamin. I hated being called Benjamin as much as I hated being called Benny.

"Every year?" Stan asked. "We only have one year left after this summer don't we?"

"We can have one after seventh year too," I told him. "It will likely be the last one, but it can celebrate that we're done Hogwarts at least."

"Oh let's not think about that yet," Anne said. "I don't want to think about the fact that we only have two years left. Let's just have fun for now."

And so we did. I believed everyone needed to let off some steam. Ashley suddenly nudged Ellen and pointed something out to her. I looked over to see what she was doing, and my mouth actually dropped open. Melanie was actually drinking.

"I knew eventually she would join in," Ellen said.

"Is she seriously doing a shot?" Keith asked. "She is too, it's about time she had some fun."

Everyone stared as Melanie and Sarah did a shot with the sixth year girls. Without a word, Stan suddenly got up and walked over to them. He said something to them, and then turned back to us. Melanie and Sarah followed behind him and actually sat with us. I wasn't sure what to think of this. Melanie had screwed with us in the past, but she did seem different that year. She'd joined us for our study sessions. I wasn't going to say a word against her, but I wasn't fully sure if I could trust her. I hadn't forgotten our relationship or what she'd done to Ashley or how she'd tried to break Claire and me up.

"About time," Stan said. "We're all Hufflepuff's here! We should be celebrating together."

"You guys didn't want me around," Melanie slurred and I knew she was already drunk. I felt a little annoyance that she was putting the blame on us.

"Well you kind of did that to yourself," Hank said. "But we're willing to put that behind us if you are."

Melanie gave a small shrug and threw back another shot.

"You're going to be so hungover tomorrow," Ashley told her with a laugh. I watched as they actually clinked drinks together. Ashley always had been the forgiving type. I sighed and told myself that I had to let go of my resentment. If Ashley could do it, then I should try to, and I did want to have fun that night.

"Well there's a first time for everythin'" Melanie slurred. "I'm sorry Ashley, about Ben and Denver and everythin' and this time I mean it. I don't want people to hate me no more. I just want us all to get along."

I looked over at Ashley who gave a small shrug.

"It's fine Melanie, really," she said. "Just be careful with how much you drink. Believe me, I've been there."

I wondered if I was going to get an apology from her eventually. For the moment she seemed to be ignoring me, and I was fine with that. I wasn't sure if I was ready to forgive her but I didn't want to dwell on it either. So I just continued to do shots with the boys. After a while Jared nudged me and nodded at the boys dorms. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I followed him and a few of the other boys.

"Why are we going to the bathroom?" I asked.

"Hopefully you're not gonna be goody goody about this," Jared slurred to me. "First time invitin you to do this. If it bothers you just leave. Please don't get all prefecty on us."

"Why?" I asked and I glanced at Michael who didn't look surprised.

He pulled out what looked like a cigarette but as I examined it, I knew exactly what it was. I'd actually always been curious about weed. I didn't believe in smoking it everyday like some people I knew who did, but I didn't see anything wrong with it at a party. I knew Jaime smoked it, and I had to wonder if Ashley did. It was something that had never been brought up between us. Brad, Hank and Stan had joined us and they were eyeing me wearily.

"First time for everything," I finally said. "Geez, did you all think I was going to put you in detention? I've always known you smoked this stuff. I'm surprised you are actually inviting me."

"You've lightened up a lot," Jared said as he lit the joint. He put it in his mouth and took a long drag of it before he handed it to me.

I knew Barry had smoked it a few times too. He didn't see anything wrong with weed. He just didn't want me to try the hardcore stuff. I placed it in my mouth and sucked in. I pulled it out as I started to choke. I handed it off to Michael and began drinking quickly.

"Definitely your first time," Jared said with a laugh.

We continued to pass it around until there was nothing left of it. I was starting to feel light headed after a while, and then everything seemed to be funny. I actually felt good and I understood why people did it.

"So what do you think?" Michael asked me as we all left the bathroom.

"I understand what the fuss is about," I told him. "I was never against weed you know."

"I know, but we never thought you'd smoke it," Michael told me.

"I've got to go find my girlfriend," I said and Jared laughed.

"Gonna shag her stoned are you? That's the best way to do it," he told me with a smirk. "Trust me, it's amazing."

I smiled back at him. A good shag was exactly what I had in mind, but I'd been thinking that since the end of our exams. It had nothing to with the effects of the weed. I just wanted to finally fuck my girlfriend. I hadn't been able to since the beginning of the exams. Jared gave me a wink as I went looking for Ashley. She was with the girls and still drinking.

"Come on," I whispered in her ear. "Lets go to the prefect bathroom."

She smiled at me. She knew exactly what I had on my mind. I wondered if she could tell that I was stoned. I knew I likely smelled like weed. I would tell her the truth if she asked, but as I gazed at her, I could tell she was too drunk to notice.

Fifth year ended and my friends were all happy that we'd have a summer off of homework. We spent the train ride talking excitedly. It started with just the four of us together, but people joined us as the ride went on. Melanie and Sarah even came in to sit with us for a little bit. Melanie ended up beside me and while everyone was into their conversations about summer, she gave me a poke in the shoulder. I turned to look at her.

"I've been meaning to apologize to you for a while," she said. "I wasn't sure if I could, but then Stan invited me to join all of you when we had the party after exams. I've been apologizing to everyone but I still haven't had the chance to talk to you and a couple of others. You and Ashley are the two people who truly do need an apology from me," and she let out a sigh. "I can admit that I acted psycho in second year Ben. I knew it even when I was doing that it was bad, but I let my emotions get ahead of me. It's just that I could see how much you wanted Ashley. I'm not trying not to make too many excuses, but I was thirteen, hormonal and you were my first boyfriend. I should never have been that way with you. I learned my lesson and I haven't been that way with my other boyfriends."

"Well I appreciate the apology," I told her. "What you did to Ashley was disgusting."

"I know," she said. "Even though I've hated her for years, I did feel bad about that. And then this year I started to really reflect on things even more. I feel embarrassed about everything and terrible as well. If it wasn't enough, I went after you and Claire too."

"Melanie, as long as you're done being a bitch than we are fine," I told her. "We all do stupid things when we were kids. Lord knows I did and so did Michael. I don't know if I trust you yet, but I'm willing to be friendly with you. I think it's big of you to apologize."

She smiled at me. "You and Ashley do make a cute couple you know. So how do you think you did on your OWLs? You probably got all O's didn't you?"

"I don't know about that, but I hope so," I said. "I don't think I did in Charms."

"I think I only got an A in Charms," she told me. "I don't get how Ashley is so good in them. She just seems to know the spell instantly."

The conversation between us was a good one for the rest of the train ride. I really didn't know if I could trust her, but if she was making an effort than I wouldn't say anything against it. I didn't want her to feel that she should try, and she would if people were rude to her about it. I believed all the Hufflepuff's felt this way. They were all being nice to her.

Michael managed to get me a job with him at The Leaky Cauldron. All we did was wash dishes, but it was good enough for me. I did want to make money myself. At first my parents didn't want us working down there, but Hannah had assured them personally that we would be fine. They were already distracted as it was because Tasha would be having the baby soon. She and Barry had moved back in temporarily until she had the baby. Barry didn't want her left alone and pregnant and he had long hours at work.

I couldn't wait for my little niece or nephew to arrive. I was going to try and spend as much time with the new baby as I could that summer as well. I could understand how Ashley felt when it came to Hayden now. I wanted the baby to know me and I worried with my time at Hogwarts that he or she wouldn't. As Rachel suspected, Hayden was magical and I kind of wondered about introducing him to my niece or nephew in a few years. It would be nice for him to know some magical kids. Perhaps the school would be open in time. They would be in the same year.

Everyday we would rush home to see if she'd gone into labour yet, or if our results had come in. I was anxious for both. Finally though, one Saturday morning our results finally arrived. We had the day off and we were just eating at the kitchen table when the owls flew in. Since no one really wrote to us using owls anymore, Michael and I both knew right away what they were. So did everyone else at the table.

No one said a word as we ripped into the envelopes. I pulled out my results and sighed with relief as I read through them. I'd gotten O's in most of my classes. In Charms, History of Magic and Arithmancy I got E's. I was disappointed about Arithmancy, I'd been hoping for an O in it. I thought I had done better than that on my exams.

"How did you do?" Mum asked.

"O's in everything except for History of Magic, Charms and Arithmancy," I told her with some disappointment.

"That's still amazing," Tasha told me. "I can't believe you're actually disappointed."

"I wanted an O in Arithmancy," I said.

"You did better than I did," Barry told me. "I mostly got E's."

"What about you Michael?" Mum asked.

"Mostly E's he told her. I got A's Arithmancy and History of Magic but I don't care about those classes anyway. I got an O in Defense Against the Dark Arts," he answered happily. "I did a lot better than I thought I would."

"We all knew you'd get an O in Defense," Barry told him. "Congratulations mate."

"Thanks," Michael said happily.

"Later we can celebrate," dad said. "You can invite your friends if you want."

"I wonder how the girls did," Michael said.

"I'll find out," I said as I got up.

I headed out to the living room where I had left my message parchment. Barry followed me.

"Ben I just wanted to tell you that you need to relax," he said to me.

"Relax?" I asked as I unrolled my parchment. "What do you mean?"

"You're disappointed with your OWLs," he answered. "Look, I know you've always felt the need to prove yourself but you don't have to. You got ten OWLs and Exceeds Expectations is brilliant for Arithmancy. I only got an A in it. Brenda actually failed it. The only person I know of who actually got an O in it is Hermione Weasley. I'm sure others did as well, but it doesn't mean you're a failure."

"I know it doesn't," I said as I gazed down at my parchment to find some writing on it. "Oh you've got to be kidding me."

"What?"

"Ellen got mostly T's on her OWLs," I said to Barry, "and somehow it's my fault."

I re-read her message again and my anger grew even more.

Have you gotten your results back yet Ben? I did and I got T's! I failed most of my OWLs. I only got them in Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Herbology. This is all your fault you know.

"You know that Ellen gets emotional sometimes," Barry said to me. "I'm sure she knows it isn't your fault."

"I'd like to know how it's my fault. I spent all year trying to get her to study. I've been trying to get her to work harder since first year!" I said angrily. "Why is it always me that she does this to?"

Angrily I set my message parchment on the table and grabbed a quill. I wiped her message away and asked her exactly how it was my fault.

Because you are dating Ashley! It's me that you should be with and you should accept that already. It's because of you that I am in an emotional mess. You don't understand how hard it was for me to see you two together all year. I am just not okay with it because I know we are meant to be together, and you know it too! I've been waiting for you to see it, but you just won't. I know you don't want to hurt Ashley, but she is strong. She won't react the way she did in second year. I'm sure she even knows it's you and I that should be together. I've been patient all year. I've been waiting for the two of you to get it out of your systems but I can't take it anymore. I want you to break it off with her. We'll both stay single for a little bit just to give her some time. We owe her that at least. She'll understand after a few months. I know we can't jump right into a relationship. So I think maybe we can wait until at least October or November. I've been understanding mostly for her sake all this time, but my patience is running thin. I told her to go for you because you'd rejected me but I knew soon enough that you'd come to your senses. That time is now Ben. Do Ashley a favour and break up with her. You don't want her to be too hurt when we finally get together.

"That stupid fucking bitch!" I yelled as I stared down at her response.

It had been a long time since I'd lost my temper enough to lose control of my magic, but it happened right at that moment. Mum had a bunch of figurines in the living room. Back in the day there used to be protective charms on them, but she'd taken them off years ago. One by one each exploded. It wasn't only the figurines, but some other glass ornaments as well. The table top was made of glass and it shattered as well.

Barry stared at me in shock but I continued to yell.

"She's actually blaming me for her failing because I am dating Ashley! She wants me to dump Ashley for her," I yelled at him.

I saw Barry waving his hands at the doorway and I looked up to see Mum and dad backing out again. They had likely come in to see what all the noise was about. Later I would feel bad for ruining mum's possessions but at the moment all I could think about was my anger. I continued to yell with fury to the point that I was insulting her with any name I could come up with. Barry grabbed the parchment which had fallen on the floor when the table shattered. He read through it quickly before he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Benny, calm down. Losing your temper like this isn't going to help matters," he told me. "You need to relax and write back to her."

"Write back to her?" I asked. "I never want to talk to the bloody slag again. I am so sick and tired her and this bullshit Barry."

"You need to tell her that she must understand it will never happen between the two of you," Barry said and he pulled out his wand to repair the table. "I'll even write for you. Just sit down and take some deep breaths. What do you want me to say to her."

I sat down and I glared at him. "Tell her she's nothing but a dirty slag."

"Ben," Barry said.

"Tell her that nothing is ever going to happen between us, especially now. Tell her that even if Ashley and me did break up, I wouldn't go for her because I am tired of her trying to get with me. Tell her that this is the last time that she can tell me that if she wants to salvage our friendship and her friendship with Ashley at all. Tell her she'd better be truthful with Ashley about it this time too. She has the right to know," I said angrily.

Barry scribbled quickly on the message parchment and after a few moments, his message disappeared and a new one appeared.

"She's saying that you're a fool for not realizing it," Barry said. "I never really thought that Ellen was this delusional.

"Tell her I guess I am a fool then, but if she keeps it up then her and I are done as friends because I am fed up. I am not taking it anymore. I am sick of the staring and the subtle hints. She hasn't really said anything since Hogsmeade but she most certainly hints at it. This is going way too far. She's had time to get over it, and if she tries to wreck my friendship than we're done," I told him.

Barry began writing again and then he shook his head.

"She's begging you not to tell Ashley," he said to me.

"Tell her I won't, but she will and if I find out that she hasn't than I will," I said.

After a few minutes Barry handed me the parchment.

Fine I will tell her in my own way Ben. I guess I'll just leave you alone for now. I'll see you at the pool party.

"I don't want her at the pool party," I said and I quickly wrote back to her.

Ellen I think it's best if we just don't talk to each other at all for the rest of the summer. I don't want you there. I'll see you in September. Have a good summer, and remember what I said. Never bring it up again!

Fair enough Ben.

"She gave up quicker than I thought she would," I said.

"I used a few choice words," Barry said. "I've always liked her but I'm just as pissed as you are with her-" and he gazed around the room. "Well, perhaps I'm not as angry as you are."

I looked around the room as well and instantly felt guilt but I also felt scared as well. Would I get expelled from Hogwarts? I'd just used underaged magic, even if it had been just my temper.

"I'm sure this can all be fixed," Barry told me and with a wave of his wand, I watched as the figurines repaired themselves. "I never thought you'd have an explosive temper like that."

"I didn't know I was capable of that anymore. I thought it was just little kids," I said.

"Even adult wizards can do that," Barry told me and he clapped me on the shoulder. "We all lose our tempers at times, and I can fully understand why you did."

Moments later, mum entered the room.

"Is it safe to enter yet?" She asked.

"I'm sorry I blew up your figurines," I told her.

"Oh it's okay dear, it's not the first time they've been blown up. It's why I used to put charms on them. I'm sure you had a reason to lose your temper," she told me as she walked over to sit beside me. She gave me a hug. "What happened dear?"

"Ellen!" I said furiously and I explained everything to her.

"Oh dear," she said. "Well perhaps you're right. A summer away from her may be good for the both of you. She'll understand eventually. I don't know if the magic registered or not, but your father went to the Ministry to explain anyway."

"Well why wouldn't it?" I asked her. "I'm underage."

"There are so many adult wizards around, so they might not know who did it. They'd only know if you did it if we weren't around, or if muggles were around," mum said to me. "Now I am going to make you a cup of tea. Why don't you sit back and relax. Maybe you can invite Ashley over later. We'll have a nice dinner maybe."

I nodded and I glanced down at my parchment. There were no more messages on it, so Ellen must have given up on it.

"Are you going to be okay now?" Barry asked me with a smile. "Do I need to put a cheering charm on you? I can whip you up a calming solution."

"I'm fine," I told him. "I'm just going to write to Ashley."

Barry nodded and left the room.

I wrote down Ashley's number and quickly told her how I did. I was so tempted to tell her about Ellen, but I decided for now to leave it. Ellen could tell Ashley. As angry as I was with her, I knew how Ashley felt about her. I didn't want to be the one to put a wedge in their friendship. As long as Ellen was honest enough with her, I was fine with whatever it was that she told her. For now I just wanted to be in a good mood. I wasn't going to think about it unless I had to.

It was about fifteen minutes before I got response back from her. She'd gotten mostly E's in her classes as well. She only failed one which was Arithmancy. She got A's in Astronomy and History of Magic and of course an O in Charms. I felt proud of her. I knew she'd do well, and I knew she was planning on keeping any classes she got an OWL in. With Astronomy and History of Magic all she needed to do was get an A and the teachers would let her stay. I think Professor Binns would let someone with a T continue.

I smiled as I wrote back to her.

Good for you, you did really well. Has Ellen told you her results yet? Don't worry about Arithmancy. It's better if you don't continue with it anyway. You should be proud that you did take it in the first place.

Ellen hasn't written to me. I'm actually relieved that I won't be taking it again, but I do feel as if I wasted my time with it. What about Michael? Did he get his results yet?

Michael did really well. He got an O in Defense Against the Dark Arts of course, and E's in the rest of the classes except for History of Magic and Arithmancy. He got A's in those classes. I honestly don't believe it was a waste of time. You put an effort in the class, and that's better then what a lot of people can say. I believe you could have done better if you hadn't been so nervous about it. You only just failed it. At least you didn't get a T like some people.

Why who got a T in it?

I'm not sure if anyone got a T in Arithmancy but Ellen did get T's in some of her classes. I'm surprised she hasn't told you yet. According to her, it's all my fault that she failed. She told me I should have looked out for her better.

Ellen got T's? How is it your fault? Any time you tried to get her to do any of her school work, she got angry with you.

It's almost first year all over again. I'm sure she'll get over it. She knows it's her own fault. I'm just surprised. I thought she would fail, but I wasn't expecting a T. She is a smart girl. I thought she'd at least get P's and A's. I thought maybe at least one D, but definitely not any T's. She got an O in Herbology though.

I can't believe she let herself fail. I know she hates to study, but she knew how important these exams were. So many OWLs did she get?

I'll let her tell you. Anyway, when are you coming over to visit? You said you'd come over more this year. I miss you already.

I could probably come over later. I'll check with mum, but I don't think she'll mind. She said I can go over to yours or Ellen's place any time I want this summer as long as it doesn't interfere with my baby-sitting.

Well let me know if you can come then. We'll be swimming in the pool.

Talk to you later.

I hadn't planned to tell Ashley about Ellen, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't tell her what else she'd said but I didn't see a problem with sharing her grades. I actually felt good telling Ashley that Ellen had failed. I'd come close to telling her why she blamed me, but I'd promised I wouldn't. I didn't actually know if she got an O in Herbology but I figured it was a safe assumption that she had. She'd been convinced after our exam that she had.

I rolled up the parchment and got up. I still felt embarrassed about what had happened. I was going to have to ask my family not to mention it around Ashley. I didn't want her to know that anything was off. I was going to talk to Michael about it as well. I just wanted us to have a fun night together. I hadn't seen her since the end of the school year, and I didn't want anything to ruin it.

I found Michael up in my room.

"Let's go swimming mate," I said to him.

"What happened?" He asked me. "We heard you flipping out and then there was some explosions. We looked in and you're face was so red. You shattered the table! I didn't know people our age could cause explosions like that."

"I don't want to talk about it," I told him. "I don't want Ashley knowing either."

"It's something about Ellen isn't it?" Michael asked me.

"She blamed me for her grades and she said some other nonsense. Ashley knows about that, but I don't want her knowing about what happened today," I said. "I just want us to have a good night. There's no need to bring any negativity to it."

"Well I plan to go to Jared's later anyway," Michael said. "So you two will have the night to yourself again. Why does Ellen think it's your fault?"

"Why does she blame me for anything Michael?" I asked. "She's always been a bitch when it comes to me. Come on, let's just go swimming until you leave. No more talk about Ellen."

"Fine, I just wanted to know what happened," Michael said to me. "I've never seen you that angry before. Barry seemed worried because Tasha is about to have the baby anytime. Underage magic can't hurt the baby can it?"

"I don't think so," I said with a shrug as I headed to my dresser to find my swimming trunks. "I don't know much about pregnant women and magic to be honest with you. I think it's just the stress he's worried about. Tasha loves me, and I know it would bother her to see me that upset. I heard Barry reassuring her when I came up."

"She was worried," Michael told me. "We could all tell something was going on with you. Why would you get that angry about her blaming you? Maybe something is going on at home again. She did that to you after first year too."

"This time was worse than first year," I said to him. "There was more to it than the grades. Michael, I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to have a good summer. I want to have a good night with Ashley, and I don't want to be in a bad mood when she comes over. Can we please just drop it?"

"Fine, I just hate being left out every time," Michael said.

"You're not being left out of anything," I said. "This is between Ellen and me. Ashley isn't even getting involved with it."

And without another word, I went into my bathroom to change.

When Ashley arrived later on, I was in a much better mood than I had been. Michael, Barry and I had gone swimming for a while. Michael ended up leaving around lunch time and then Barry and I went up to my room to talk for a little bit. He was on edge because Tasha was about to go at any time, but I could also tell he was concerned about me. Another message had appeared from Ellen, but I'd ignored it.

Thanks for telling Ashley about my grades. I wanted to be the one to tell her and Michael. I guess you can't keep your mouth shut though. I hope you didn't tell her anything else. I plan to go to her place to talk to her about it. I know she's going to your place tonight, so even though you're angry with me, the least you could do is keep it to yourself. You are the one who led me on again

I didn't understand how I supposedly led her on. Perhaps I had in fourth year. I didn't know for sure if I had, but even to this day she insisted that I'd made her believe I wanted her. I couldn't think of what I'd done back then, but I'd give that one to her. She had been quite hurt when I rejected her. However, this time I didn't see it at all. She knew I was with Ashley and I'd told everyone that I loved Ashley. So how could I have possibly led her on?

"When someone is in love with someone, they look for signs," Barry told me. "She's likely still been hopeful about it, and she probably saw something because she wanted to. I highly doubt you did anything."

"She's just being crazy now," I told Barry. "I never thought I'd think of Ellen as psycho, but that's exactly how she is acting."

"I never thought she would be that way either," Barry said. "I thought she was one of the good ones. I never would have thought she was capable until I read that message from her."

A new message appeared on my parchment.

Ben, I am leaving now. I'll take the Knight Bus so I should be there soon.

"Can you go get Ashley?" I asked Barry as I read the message. "She said she's taking the Knight Bus, but I just want her here now. I think I'll forget all about Ellen once Ashley gets here."

"Sure. It's behind that school right?" Barry asked me.

"Yes," I said. "In the wooded lot by the school."

I quickly wrote to Ashley that Barry would meet her. He disapparated but I didn't get another message from her, so I was assuming she was walking to the school. They probably wouldn't be back here for at least ten or fifteen minutes. I pulled a practice Arithmancy sheet towards me to continue to work on. Professor Vector had handed them out to anyone who'd wanted them. They were to prepare us for the work we'd have to do in the sixth year. Michael had found it funny that I was working on it, but I knew NEWT level Arithmancy would be very advanced. I'd struggled with just the practice sheets.

"Ben, where is Barry?" Mum asked as she suddenly appeared in my doorway.

"He went to go get Ashley, why?" I asked.

"Tasha believes she is in labour, so we want to take her to St. Mungos," she answered. "Tell Barry to come downstairs as soon as they get here."

I felt excited about this. I could be an uncle that very day. I planned to spoil my little niece or nephew as much as I could. I already had a few presents for the baby. Tasha had her baby shower while we were in school, but I'd bought a few things down in Diagon Alley after work. I planned to give them to her when she and the baby came home from the hospital.

About five minutes later, there was a loud pop and Ashley and Barry appeared. I got up instantly. I'd missed her over the last couple of weeks, but the moment I saw her, I realized just how much I did miss her.

"Hey hon," I said when I reached her. I kissed her cheek before turning to Barry. "Tasha thinks she might be in labour."

Barry walked out of the room, but he moved so fast that he could have apparated. I smiled at Ashley and then pulled her back over to my desk. I sat down and pulled her down on my lap. The moment I had her in my arms, I could forget all drama related to Ellen.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked her.

"Same as usual," she answered. "I'm just baby-sitting. I kind of miss baby-sitting Louie and Dwayne though. The other kids are well behaved but I've been baby-sitting those two for years. Louie has a bit of an attitude now though, so I am glad I don't have to deal with that."

It was actually hard for me to imagine that Dwayne was old enough to baby-sit now. I knew the previous summer she had let him be her helper when it came to baby-sitting all the kids she had to look after. It was just hard for me not to imagine him as eight, but he was going to be thirteen in December. It was odd for me to think of him as a teenager, just as I couldn't believe that little Timmy was starting Hogwarts that year. I could understand why some people had a hard time believing that I was older. I was feeling the same way about Dwayne and Timmy.

I glanced at Ashley to see that she looking at my Arithmancy practice sheets. She looked over at me with amusement.

"We don't even have any homework this year," she said.

"Professor Vector did hand out practice sheets for what we'd be working on in sixth year," I told her. "I'm just preparing myself."

She looked over at my sheet again and shook her head.

"I am so glad I am not taking it next year," she said. "Don't tell me that this is what you've been working on all summer."

"Of course not," I grinned at her. It was so typical of my friends to think that. Even Michael thought I was insane. "I've just worked on it in my free time. I decided to look over it while I was waiting for you to come. I think it looks exciting."

"You would," she said. "Where's Michael?"

"Jared's for the night," I told her and kissed her. "I wanted a night for just the two of us."

Of course that was Michael's idea, but she didn't have to know that. I doubted she even cared whose idea it had been. I knew she was just glad that we were spending time together. Every night we would tell each other about our days, and how much we missed each other.

"We really do need to get together more over the summer," she said now. "There really isn't a reason why we shouldn't. Our parents let us come and go when we want now."

"Yeah I know," I said even though this wasn't entire true. Mum still got a little overprotective, but that was only when it came to Diagon Alley. She didn't care if I went, but she never wanted me there by myself. If I had to go, I needed at least a friend with me. I knew Denver still hung out down there. As I thought about Denver, I remembered the year before when she'd followed Ashley and Denver everywhere. "Is your mum going to follow us around everywhere if I visit?" I asked.

She shook my head. "I don't know if she'll let us share a room, but she has eased up a lot since last summer. She's also thrilled that it's you I am dating. She has always liked Denver, but as I said she's like everyone else who says they always knew we'd end up together."

Dad suddenly appeared in my doorway. He smiled at Ashley before saying:

"Barry has taken Tasha to St. Mungos and we're on our way. You two are on your own for the day unless you want to come wait with us."

"There isn't much we can do there but sit in the waiting room," I said. "We'll just wait here. We'll come visit when she has the baby."

I also knew that we'd basically have the house to ourselves as well. Brenda was around, but she only ever stayed in her room. She never came out, and she most certainly wouldn't bother Ashley and me. I didn't understand how she could live that kind of life. When I was her age, there was no way I would still be living at home. She was twenty-one years old now, and I expected to be married with my career going. Perhaps we'd have our first child by that point. I knew she just wanted to stay home until she got her trust fund though.

"That's what I thought," dad said. "Babies can take a while; she may be in labour for a while. I have my message parchment," he added as he tapped his pocket. "So I'll let you know what is going on."

"I'm actually looking forward to being an uncle. I know I won't see much of my niece or nephew for the next couple of years, but the baby won't remember much of me anyway. Once I'm out of school he or she will be older," I said to Ashley once dad had left.

"That's what I keep saying about Hayden," Ashley said. "I feel guilty that I'll be at Hogwarts for the first few years of his life, but he won't remember much now anyway. Besides, I'll be able to baby-sit in the summers."

"Until we're done anyway," I reminded her. "You only really have one summer left after this one. Then you'll be working."

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that," Ashley said.

I had to wonder what that was about. She seemed a little nervous about whatever it was that she had to say to me.

"I want to travel around a bit after we're done school, kind of like Breanne is doing. It doesn't have to be a year, but I would like to do a bit. I was thinking I would baby-sit for the summer again to earn some money and then leave in September and visit Canada. My mum has some relatives there. From there, I am not sure where I want to go but I'd like to go visit somewhere warm in the winter for a bit. I was kind of thinking about coming back in the spring and seeing what I can do to start my career," she told me.

That actually wasn't a bad idea at all, and I had to wonder why it made her nervous to bring it up with me. Did she really think that I wouldn't want to go with her for it? Perhaps she believed that I would hold her back from her travels. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with going. I remembered how jealous that I had felt when Barry and Tasha had gone to Cuba. I loved Hogwarts, but I couldn't wait until we were done so that I could do what I wanted. The idea of just going off on a trip when I wanted sounded great. Healer training could wait, because I knew that once I became a Healer, I wouldn't have much time.

"That's not a bad idea at all," I told Ashley and she looked shocked. I smiled at her. "Did you think I wouldn't want to go along with it?"

She nodded. "I thought for sure you'd want to start your training as soon we were done. I know it takes years."

"It does take years," I answered. I remembered how Professor Sprout had told me that I wouldn't have time once I was accepted. So once we were done Hogwarts would be the time to do it. After seven years of studying, and especially after having to go through fifth to seventh year we would need a break. At times I felt overwhelmed with the fact that I still had four years after Hogwarts to go, and it would be more complicated than anything I learned at Hogwarts. "That's why we should. A lot of people travel after Hogwarts before they get into their careers. Healer training will always be there, but we might not always have the opportunity to travel for as long as we want to. I know we can always take trips when we have holidays, but it's not the same."

"Do you think Ellen and Michael would want to go to?" Ashley asked me.

The last thing I was I wanted to do was go anywhere with Ellen. I was sure if she knew the truth, she wouldn't want Ellen to go with us either. I was so tempted to tell her, but I didn't want our night ruined. It had been two weeks since we'd seen each other. I also knew how much Ellen meant to Ashley. So I was going to trust that Ellen would talk to her about it. So I just shrugged.

"They might want to, I'm not sure." I answered her. " We can ask them later, but I know for that is what I want to do. What do you say we go out to Diagon Alley for a date? We're not going to hear from dad for a while. We'll have to take the Knight Bus though. I can't wait until I can apparate."

"We'll be able to this time next year," Ashley said happily and got up.

"I know," I said. That year we would finally learn how to apparate and we'd be of age in September.

It ended up being a good time in Diagon Alley for the most part. We ended up buying our school supplies while we were there. We didn't have our book lists yet, but I'd had three siblings who'd been in sixth year already. I'd always been there when they had bought their books, and I knew what I was keeping, and what Ashley was keeping. I managed to convince her not to keep Divination. I didn't think she should keep History of Magic or Astronomy either, but I could handle it if she at least dropped Divination.

After a while we ended up in the joke shop where Ashley mentioned the 'what if' potions. I'd never had the chance to use them, but I did plan to. They seemed kind of neat. Ashley explained to me what she'd seen when she'd used them. Apparently she'd wanted to see what it would have been like if she hadn't gone to Hogwarts, and what she'd seen had kind of disturbed her. She'd been unhappy in her secondary school and had very few friends. I really wasn't surprised. I remembered how she'd been in first year, and I'd met the people in her town.

"I don't know how they work exactly," I told her. "I think some of it might be accurate because the Weasley's are really good at this stuff, but I don't think those girls are real. I think you know that you'd have some friends. We also both know that unfortunately you probably wouldn't have had an easy time in school. I think that part was accurate, and you used to exaggerate things all the time you know. You also have lied about things."

"I'm not as bad as I used to be, but it did show that my room was messy. When I was younger I was a slob. That part was accurate and my mum was also kind of bitter," she continued. "I was going to use another one to see what would have happened if we hadn't got together."

"Ashley, I think we would have ended up together either way," I said to her as I grabbed some of the potions. I was curious about a few things myself, and I wanted more of the potions. I did truly believe we would have ended up together either way. She had always been closer to me than Michael or Ellen. It had always been her who I put first. "Even if we hadn't last year, I think we would have in time. We've always been very close."

"Except maybe our first year, we didn't get along then," she said to me.

I didn't think that was really the case. Even though I hadn't been the nicest to her about certain things, I'd always put her first anyway. When it had come to school work, I'd done what I could to help her out. Sure I'd definitely been a prat to her, but that was it. I wouldn't say we hadn't gotten along.

"I was a prat in our first year though," I said to her with a shrug.

"I didn't help matters," Ashley said with a grin. "I can't believe you all put up with it. Remember when you finally told me off for it?"

I laughed as I thought back to that day. She'd gotten up and left and hadn't said a word to me in days. We'd both been stubborn back then. It had been something that she's needed to hear, and I had felt I shouldn't have had to apologize but I did anyway. "And you didn't speak to me for days. You only spoke to me again when I told you that I didn't want you angry with me on my birthday."

"And then New Years," she added.

"And Valentines Day. I guess your romance with Denver wouldn't have started if I had just taken you," I said as I laughed. She'd only gone with Denver to annoy me.

"Maybe, maybe not," she said. "I can't believe how long ago it seems. I've always wondered though, how did it change for you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked with confusion.

"Well think about how complicated our friendship was in our first year. You told me in second year that you felt closer to me then you did Ellen and Michael. So how did it change?" She asked.

I'd felt that we'd had this conversation before, but maybe I hadn't explained myself well enough to her. I knew Michael and Ellen had asked this as well. Ellen had pretty much been heartbroken when she found out that I was closer to Ashley than her. She'd brought it up back in second year. I hadn't really understood why she'd been so upset about it back then, but now I knew.

I tried to remember my conversation with Ashley. I remembered I told her that I'd talked to Brianne and Barry, so I figured I'd start there.

"I told you about how I talked to Breanne and Barry over our Easter holidays that year right?" I asked her and she nodded. "Well it was then that I realized just how rude I'd been to you. I think I've told you that before, so I wanted to do everything I could to make it up to you. So I did my best but it wasn't just that. It was Michael and Ellen as well. Remember how moody they'd been? You and I seemed to share a mutual bond then because of it, and I guess all that brought us closer. It was around then when I started feeling closer to you and it hasn't changed. I honestly think there has always been something between us, but we were so young then that we didn't realize it. It's why we did have a complicated friendship at first."

"There was a time in our third and fourth year when I was sure you'd end up with Ellen," she said to me."I saw the way you two were with Quidditch."

I thought back to what Ellen had said about Quidditch and how I'd lead her on. Perhaps I truly had if even Ashley had seen it. I knew even if something had happened, it wouldn't have lasted. We would have fought too much, especially during fifth year with OWLs.

"It wouldn't have lasted," I assured her. "Even if we had ended up together, it just could not have worked between us," I said and then I thought back to the Christmas holidays. A few days after Christmas, I had seriously considered trying one of the potions to see what would have happened if Ellen and me had ended up together. I still wondered at times. I decided to admit this to her. "You know I did consider trying the potion to see what would have happened, but I felt like it was betraying you somehow."

Ashley gave a small shrug and then smiled at me.

"I considered trying the potion to see if Denver and I would have lasted if I hadn't fallen for you," she admitted. "But I felt the same way."

I smiled back at her. "It wouldn't have lasted."

"Well I'm glad it didn't but I feel guilty sometimes you know. I'm really hoping he meets a girl this year," she said.

We filled up our baskets with the last of our stuff. We didn't say much more to each other, but I was sure she was deep in thought about the conversation we'd just had. My mind was on Ellen. Ashley had bought her and Michael the potions as well. I'd overheard Ellen telling Michael that she'd tried the potion with different scenarios when it came to her and me. None of it worked out for us. If we'd dated in any of the potions, it hadn't lasted for very long. She'd told him that should have told her that we weren't meant to be. So I didn't understand why she was still going on about it. Was it because she just wanted those few months with me?

As we left the shop, Ashley looked at me.

"It's great that we can talk about this without any jealousy," Ashley said to me. "We were talking about those potions with significant people and neither of us got upset."

I gave a small shrug as she brought me out of my thoughts.

"It just shows it's a good relationship. You should be able to trust the person you're with. That's how I knew that Ellen and Stan would never last. Those two were so jealous, especially Stan. He never admitted it, but you could tell he hated it when she hung out with Michael and me, especially Michael," I said to her.

"Michael and Anne got jealous a lot, but I thought they were a good couple," she said. "Where to next?"

"I guess we might as well head back to my place," I said as I noticed that it was slowly getting dark now. I knew labour could take a long time, and I just wanted to relax with her for the night. "We'll just have to wait to hear news there. Anne and Michael wouldn't have lasted," I added, "and I know he wants her back but it just won't work."

"How did you get so knowledgeable about relationships?" she asked. "You kind of remind me of the Andrew twins."

"It's because of the twins that I know so much," I answered "I don't know how those two know so much but they're rarely wrong."

I really didn't know much about relationships but thanks to Barry and the twins, I did know that much. Anyone could tell that Michael and Anne would not last. They were just too off and on. Couples that broke up and got back together that much rarely went anywhere. Eventually they realized that it wasn't meant to be and they moved on.

We headed to the Leaky Cauldron where we would catch the Knight Bus. I preferred just taking the floo network, but my parents didn't want me taking it for some reason. They seemed to believe it couldn't be trusted and I didn't understand why. How could the bus be safer? Dad believed that something could be going on at the Ministry again. So we had to take his word for it. I hated the stupid bus however. I hated getting thrown back every time it stopped.

I noticed Ashley staring at a bar that had opened not too long ago. The Leaky Cauldron wasn't the only bar in Diagon Alley. There were other ones that were geared towards the younger crowds. The Dragons Breath was mainly for people under the age of thirty. Barry and Brianne had been there enough times to know this. I couldn't wait until I was seventeen so I could go there as well.

The line up outside the bar proved this. Everyone there was young. The girls were all wearing revealing clothes. I didn't know how one of the girls dress could even count as a dress. As much as I liked seeing Ashley show skin, I hoped that she would never wear a dress like that. If she had to, I wanted it to be indoors and for my eyes only. It wasn't just that I'd be jealous (and I know I would be, I would hate to see guys looking at her) but I just hated when girls wore those revealing clothes. It just wasn't classy. It was another reason why I would never be able to date Ellen. She loved wearing the most revealing clothes that she could find.

"Barry said it's always so crowded in there that you can barely move," I said to her as she slowed down a bit while she stared.

"I wouldn't mind checking it out when I'm seventeen," she said.

"We will. Next summer we can take Ellen there for her birthday," I said even though I wasn't sure what the next year would bring. Would we even be friends a year from now? "I'm sure she'd like that."

"Maybe we can get some of the other Hufflepuff's to come as well," she said brightly.

Ahead of us I saw two people I had not wanted to encounter that day. Don Zent and Xavier Opress were walking towards us. They wore identical smirks. I hoped they would just ignore us.

"I'm sure we could," I said distractedly.

As they walked past as Don slammed hard into me. Instant anger went through me. All the anger that I'd had from the morning fueled up inside up me as well. I couldn't take it out on Ellen, but I could take it out on Don. Hexing him into oblivion would help with some of the frustration and tension what I was feeling at the moment. So I grabbed my wand and dropped my bags on the ground. I was prepared to fight. There were too many overage wizards around, no one would be able to detect it back to me. I knew now that was why they hadn't detected my underage magic when I'd lost my temper earlier. I was glad mum had explained that to me, now I knew I could get away with it.

Ashley stopped me however. She grabbed my arm but I wasn't going to let her stop me.

"You're still sixteen," she said. "It's not worth it."

I tried to pull out of her grip. I still had too much built up anger at the moment. I didn't want to just blow things up from uncontrolled magic again. I wanted to do the actual magic this time. Ashley wasn't going to let it happen however, she held onto me tighter and then managed to actually get my wand from me. She didn't seem to understand that it didn't matter if I cast a hex or not. No one would know who did it.

"Ben come on, let's just go back to your place," she said as she dropped her shopping bags as well.

Don and Xavier smirked at me and then turned away. I felt fury with Ashley now. I didn't understand why she would stop me. The two of them needed a good hex, especially after what had happened last Christmas. I didn't get why she didn't want to hex them as well. We had the best opportunity to do it now. We didn't have teachers around to stop us, and the Ministry wouldn't know. I didn't say a word to her though. I just grabbed my bags and turned to walk off. I had so much pent up anger, and I had no one to actually take it out on.

We didn't talk as we went through the wall to the Leaky Cauldron, or as we walked through the pub. It wasn't until we were back outside where I turned to her. She still had my wand, so I grabbed it from her and glared at her again. She stared at me defiantly.

"You should have let me hex him," I told her angrily.

"Ben you told me we need to lay low. That's not laying low. Don knew exactly what he was doing by hitting you. He was probably hoping for a fight," she said. "And you know I am right, so there is no sense in getting angry with me about it."

I didn't say a word to her. In a way I knew she was right. Don and Xavier were hoping that we'd have a fight right there and then. I knew that was the main reason she had stopped me. The Ministry might not have been able to detect the magic, but they'd find out who did it anyway. There were many people in Diagon Alley who would have witnessed it. I was sure there were people who would know who we all were, and word would get out about the fight. All four of us were sixteen and we could get in a lot of trouble for fighting. At the moment I was too angry to really realize that she'd done the right thing however.

When we got back to my place, it was as if she understood that I needed to release some tension. The moment we entered my room, she began to kiss me. I wasn't in the mood at first, but as she pushed me down on my bed, and then straddled me all the while she continued to kiss me, I couldn't help but give in. Sex with my girlfriend was another way to release that anger, and it was more fun. I felt myself relax as she pulled my shirt off.

The next day we went to St. Mungos to meet my new niece. Tasha had given birth to her late the previous night. Ashley and I had been listening to a Quidditch game when dad had sent me the message. By that point I'd felt content and I'd realized just how stupid it would have been to attack those idiots. I added that incident to my growing resentment for Ellen. I knew really couldn't blame her for my actions, but I knew that I wouldn't have been so angry if it hadn't been for her. I likely would have just walked away.

For the remainder of the night however, Ashley kept me calmed down and then the birth of my new niece made me forget everything. I couldn't stop smiling as I thought about meeting her for the first time. They'd named her Minnie (for Minerva McGonagall) Allison Hoofer. I was a bit surprised that they had named her after McGonagall. I did know Barry had a lot of respect for her and but I didn't know it was enough that he'd name his first born after her.

The moment I laid eyes on her, it was instant love and I had to wonder how I'd feel when I finally met my own child. I held her in my arms and gazed down at her. She already had a tuft of black hair. I was sure she would look a lot like her mother when she was older. I thought she had Barry's nose, and it was hard to tell with the eyes since they were blue. I knew that all newborns had blue eyes.

"Let Ashley hold her now," Barry told me after I'd held her for about five minutes.

"Oh no I couldn't," Ashley said quickly. "She is so small."

"We all know she's your future niece," Barry insisted and I gently handed Minnie over to Ashley. She seemed nervous which was a surprise. She'd been around little kids most of her life. I knew she had some cousins who were just babies. She'd told me that she'd met her new cousin Frank just recently. She also had Hayden who would be a year in September.

Ashley seemed stiff, but she held onto her for a few minutes before mum walked over to her. She seemed to notice how nervous Ashley was.

"She's so beautiful," Ashley said as mum took her from her. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Barry said with a grin. "You know someday we will probably be visiting the two of you in here."

"Let's not talk about that yet," mum said. "They need to finish school first and start their careers."

I wanted to tell Barry to shut up. I didn't want them to freak her out. I had to admit, I could see myself being here with her. I could imagine it being Ashley in that hospital bed instead of Tasha, and my family visiting us. It was our daughter that mum was holding. I just didn't want to share my thoughts with Ashley quite yet. I knew she loved me, and I knew she worried that we wouldn't be together because of our age, but springing a baby on her was another story. I just wanted my family to lay off the future stuff when she was around. It wasn't that I appreciated that they loved her, and they wanted her to be my wife but they needed to keep some of their comments to themselves.

"We should get going," I finally said as I grabbed Ashley's hand. "Ashley needs to get home soon, but I'll be back later."

"How long do you have to stay here?" Ashley asked Tasha.

"Just until tomorrow, and then I'll be staying at the house for a while," Tasha told her.

I was looking forward to that. When I wasn't working, I was planning on helping out Tasha and Barry when I could. I knew mum was planning the same thing. Minnie was the first grandchild and I knew my parents planned to spoil her as much they could. I wondered how many grandchildren there would be when we finally had ours. I knew we wouldn't have a baby for a long time. We had to finish school first, and then get our careers started. Healer training took years, and we planned to travel a year. I figured it would be another nine or ten years before we finally had a kid.

I was deep in thought about this as we walked to the bus. I could see Ashley shooting me worried looks, and I hoped she wasn't too upset about what had gone on in there.

"Are you going to come by my house later in the week?" She asked as we boarded the bus interrupting my thoughts.

"Likely. I'll let Ellen visit with you for a bit and then I'll come by. I want to help out here with the baby," I told her trying to push away the thoughts of us having our own child someday.

"Is everything okay?" She asked me and she looked worried.

"I'm fine," I told her and she raised an eyebrow. She knew me too well. She knew I was deep in thought about something, but I didn't want to tell her the truth quite yet. "Really, I am fine," I assured her. "It's just so much has happened in the last twenty-four hours. Yesterday Minnie wasn't here and now she is. I've just realized something, that's all."

"Realized what?" She pressed on.

"Just certain things," I told her and I hoped that would be enough. "It's nothing for you to worry about, don't worry. You just enjoy your girl time with Ellen, and I'll see you soon."

I leaned over to give her a kiss. I was worried that she was scared about our relationship. I blamed it on Barry and I was going to have to have a word with him later. She seemed freaked out or she was worried that I was freaked out. As I tried to kiss her however, the bus let out a loud bang and we were thrown backwards.

"Just a couple more months until we're seventeen," I muttered as we got up and set our chairs back up.

"But even then we won't be able to apparate," she said.

"I know, but it's still a step closer," I said.

The bus stopped behind the school next and I leaned over to kiss her again. I knew it was safe this time since it was parked.

"I'll see you soon," I told her. "I love you. I'll write to you later tonight."

"I love you too," she said and she kissed me back.

She got up and I watched as she walked down the aisle and then off the bus. I wanted to wave at her from the bus, but I didn't get the chance. The bus let out a loud bang and we were gone. I let out a sigh as I was thrown back again. I was going to have to have a talk with my parents about this. I didn't want to keep taking the Knight Bus when I was just going home. The floo network couldn't be tampered with yet. They were just paranoid because of everything that had gone on with You-Know-Who but I doubted the Ministry would let it get that far again. Harry Potter wouldn't let it get that far again.

When the bus dropped me off at home, it was to find that Michael was back already. He was sitting up in my room when I arrived.

"So how was your night?" Michael asked when I entered my room. "You seem to be in a better mood than you were yesterday when I left. Did she give you a good shag?"

I smiled as I thought about the fact that we'd had sex not once but two more times after the first time. I didn't give him an answer but he knew.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "You're in a better mood now after all. Whenever you're in a bad mood I'm just going to tell Ashley to shag you."

"That's not the only reason I am happy," I said to him. "You haven't talked to Brenda or Brianne at all?"

"No I just got back about a half hour ago," Michael answered. "I don't even think Brenda is home. Her door is open and she isn't in her room."

"Tasha had the baby last night," I told him. "They had a little girl."

Michael's face lit up. "Can we go to St. Mungos to meet her?"

"Well I told Barry I'd help set up the crib before tomorrow," I told him. "But you're more than welcome to go over there to see her. They named her Minnie."

"Did you just come back from seeing her?" Michael asked now looking a little annoyed.

"Ashley and I went to the hospital before I took her home," I told him.

"Why didn't anyone tell me then?" He asked. "Why am I always the last one to find out?"

I shrugged. "I'm sorry, I figured dad had written to everyone, even you. I know Ellen knows because she wrote to me to tell me to congratulate Barry for her."

"I didn't get a message at all," Michael said with irritation. "But I am starting to get used to that. It seems even if I am part of this family, I get forgotten."

"Michael, I am sure they didn't mean to forget you," I said. "I was a bit busy last night with Ashley and everything. No one intentionally-"

"No one ever intentionally leaves me out, but they do anyway," Michael said.

"Well you can go meet her," I said to him feeling irritated myself.

I hated it when he got like this. I did have to wonder why dad felt the need to tell Ellen, but not Michael however it wasn't my fault. No one ever meant to leave him out, and I was sorry he felt that way but I hated when he got in these moods. I'd been in a good mood before he started with his depression. A new addition had been added to my family.

"I'll just go when you go later," Michael said. "I'll help you with Minnie's crib. Why didn't they already have this set up?"

"Well they have everything set up at their flat," I told him. "But they decided at the last minute to stay here for the rest of the summer. Barry is going to be at work, and Tasha wants some help with the baby. Mum is going to be home of course, and we'll be around. Brenda might help out as well."

"Is she at the hospital right now?" Michael asked and I shrugged.

"To be honest, I haven't seen her since breakfast yesterday. I don't know where she is. She wasn't there when Ashley and I went, but she might be there now. Brianne and Nick weren't there either, but Barry said they would be later," I told him.

"Well let's just go help set up the bedroom then," Michael said. "They're going to sleep in Barry's old room aren't they?"

"Obviously, where else would they sleep?" I asked.

"Why are you in such a mood?" Michael asked. "You were happy moments ago, and now you're in a bad mood."

"Because of you!" I said irritated. "You always act as if we leave you out on purpose but we don't. I don't know why dad told Ellen but not you."

"Wait? Your dad told Ellen?" Michael asked. "I thought your family was angry with her for what happened yesterday?"

"They are," I answered as I turned to leave my room. I knew where this was going and I wished I hadn't brought it up.

"That's what I mean," Michael said. "I know that no one ever leaves me out intentionally, but that does actually bother me more. I know you had things going on with Ashley last night, so I can't blame you too much. I just don't think you realize how much I feel left out sometimes. Your parents told me that I am part of this family now and yet I'm just hearing about Minnie. I'm sorry to put you in a mood, but it's bloody frustrating, especially now that I know Ellen knows. You aren't speaking to her, and yet she knows about Minnie before me. Your dad was even telling your mother that maybe you should drop your friendship with her for a while and-"

"Michael, I am sorry you're the last to know. Maybe you should take it up with dad then. I don't know what to tell you, but I don't see why you're working yourself up. The fact that my parents are your guardians should show you that they care about you," I said. "So can we just drop it?"

"Fine," Michael said. "But I do wish I could stop being left out all the time."

I saw him shoot me a glare as we walked down the hall, but he didn't say anything else on the topic and I was glad. We were going to have to stop leaving him out because I was tired of his complaining.

When I wasn't working that summer, I spent my time with Minnie. Michael spent a lot of time with her as well, but it seemed after a while that he was tired of being around a baby. I believed he was still annoyed with my parents and me as well. He didn't say anything else on the matter, not even to my dad but I could tell. I knew he didn't want a fight with anyone, so he kept his comments to himself.

On the fourth Ashley went to have her meeting with the Minister for Magic about her school. I was surprised and proud of her. In the past, I never would have believed that she'd show that kind of initiative. However, she seemed very serious about this school. I knew Hermione was a big part of it. If it hadn't been for her, Ashley wouldn't be having the meeting at all, but Ashley took the time to prepare. I knew she was nervous about it, so I wished her good luck.

Later that day when I was done work, I went home to see Minnie. Michael had that day off and he came downstairs where I was feeding her.

"Ashley's written to us on the parchments," he told me. "She just let us know what happened with the meeting. I figured I'd let you know you can back to her when you're done with Minnie. She was asking about you."

"She doesn't think I am ignoring her does she?" I asked.

"No," he told me. "She just asked if you had looked at your parchment. I think she knows you'd never ignore her for no reason. It sounds like her meeting went really well though."

"I'll check in a little bit," I said as I gazed down at Minnie.

"You're going to make a good father one of these days," Michael said. "I never thought I'd see the day when you'd spend all your time with a baby."

"Why not?" I asked feeling a little insulted by this. I'd never been rude to the younger years the way he had. Even if I wasn't a prefect, I would still help them out if they asked. I was always good with the kids who Ashley baby-sat.

"It wasn't meant as an insult," Michael said as if realizing that I'd annoyed him. "You're good with kids, but you've never gone out of your way to spend time with them. You'll help them if you need to, but you've never been one to seek them out the way Ashley does. If you're this way with your niece, I just imagine you'll be an amazing father with your own."

"I just want her to know me," I said. "She's still quite small but I want my nieces and nephews to want to come to my place. With my aunts and uncles, they were always so stern and formal with us. I've never asked mum and dad to go to their places. Usually Sam came here when we were kids. If we went to visit our aunts or uncles, they invited us. I want Minnie to know me, and to want to visit. I want to be the kind of adults that my parents are. I always looked up to Barry, and I want his daughter to see me the same way. I know she isn't even a month old yet so she doesn't know me, but I just want to start early. I understand now how Ashley feels when it comes to Hayden."

"I'm sure they will," Michael told me. "I can actually picture you and Ashley being the same as your parents. I'd bet ten galleons that your house will be the party house for your kids."

"Maybe," I said as I looked down at Minnie again.

I had to wonder what kind of life she would have. She had her whole life ahead of her. In eleven years she would be getting ready to start her life at Hogwarts with Hayden. Would they be good friends? Would she turn out like Brenda? Would she have little brothers and sisters to look after? Would she even be magical? I hoped she would have a different childhood then we had. I was worried that the people who were trying to take over would succeed, and she would have to live in hiding too. I didn't want her, Hayden or our children to grow up in that kind of world. I wanted them to have a happy childhood.

"Speaking of Ashley," Michael said interrupting my thoughts. "I am going to her place now. I haven't seen her all summer, and I know her parents want to see me too. Her mum has written to ask if I am coming soon, and that they have my room set up for me. So I am going to go over today. I already talked to your parents about it. You should come too for a few days."

"I will," I said to him. "I know she wants me to spend some weekends there. I'll go over in a few days. I promised I'd help out around here though."

Michael grinned at me. "You're a changed man Hoofer. You'd rather spend time with a baby instead of getting shagged."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I don't think that will ever happen. Ashley and me have things figured out. You just worry about getting shagged yourself."

"Does that mean you're giving me permission to shag Ashley?" He asked with a wink.

I stared at him with some shock. I wasn't even annoyed even though I probably should have been. However, Jared still joked with her about that, but I knew nothing would happen from it. I should have gotten annoyed with Jared but I never did. Perhaps it was because I trusted them, and for Michael I was just surprised. I never thought he'd joke with me about her that way. He didn't like to even admit that he'd want to shag her let alone joke about it. I wasn't even sure what to say to that.

"You're a git," I finally said not knowing what else to say to him. "I can't believe you would even joke about that. Apparently I'm not the only one who has changed."

"I can't believe you didn't get angry over that," Michael said. "Sometimes you can be jealous when it comes to her."

"Well I know you don't mean it, and Jared jokes about it with her, and I'm fine with it," I said. "He did shag her, so if I don't get angry with him, I doubt I will with you."

Michael grinned. "I'm just going to go up and pack now. Let us know when you want to visit. We're all allowed to travel on our own now. I figured this summer would be when we'd all see each other more. I know the Knight Bus sucks, but I can live with it. Besides, Barry said he'd side-a-long us if we asked."

"I know, and Ashley and me promised each other the same thing," I said. "It's not just Minnie. I just think Ellen is going to go over there more, and I just don't want to see her. I'm giving Ashley the time to see her."

"But all you have to do is write to her. The days of owls are over," Michael said to me. "You'll know if Ellen is going to be there."

"I know," I said. "I plan to see her when I can. I probably will this weekend. We saw each other a few days ago you know. If we could see each other every day I'd be happy. With both of us working, Minnie and the fact that mum and dad want to see me often too, it's not possible. Also, as I said it's hard with Ellen as well."

"Well let us know when you plan to visit," Michael told me. "I just wish that whatever is going on with Ellen could end soon. It's a shame that all four of us can't hang out together."

"I don't want to talk to her," I said firmly.

"What are you going to do when school starts?" Michael asked. "The two of you can't avoid each other forever."

Michael seemed to sense that I was getting angry. Ellen was the last person I wanted to talk to or about. I knew he didn't know exactly what she did so of course he didn't understand. He just gave a small shrug.

"Look I am going to go pack," he finally said. "I don't feel like having an unnecessary argument. I'll talk to you later."

"Bring my message parchment when you come back down," I called after him as he left the room.

I didn't believe that Ellen had even told Ashley about what happened. Ashley was forgiving, but I knew she'd be angry about what she'd said to me. That wasn't something she'd just let go. I knew she would have brought it up to me by this point. Ellen just didn't want to fight with Ashley, and I was sure she was going to pretend our talk had never happened. So I was going to have to talk to tell Ashley about it soon enough. I was just worried about bringing it up as well. I had a feeling she'd be angry with me for not telling her sooner. I knew I was being a coward about it, but the last thing I wanted was a fight with my girlfriend. Perhaps Ellen and I had more in common than I realized.

When Michael left, I felt lonely without him being around. I was so used to his presence now and I found myself going over to Ashley's more than before. I always wrote first to make sure that Ellen wasn't around. I had to wonder why I wanted to hang out more after Michael left than before. I loved spending time with Ashley alone, so I couldn't explain it.

One evening, midway through August, I received a message from Ashley. I was busy working on some of my practice sheets when the message appeared.

I want you to be honest with me. When Ellen wrote you, did she tell that she was still in love with you? Did she tell you to break up with me for her?

I felt instant dread because I knew Ashley was angry. I had to wonder who it was who told her. I'd never told Michael everything but I had a feeling he knew a bit more than he let on. After all, my family had been at the door when I'd flipped out. Not only that, but Brenda had told me that Michael had tried listening in with an extendible ear, but she'd stopped him. I didn't think he really knew everything because he'd asked several times after that day what had happened. However, he might have told her something had happened that day. It had to either be him, or Ellen had finally confessed.

So I had to ask her who told her first.

Who told you about that? Ellen or Michael?

The message disappeared and new one appeared.

Does it matter? It was Michael, but it shouldn't matter because it should have been you who told me.

I knew in that instant that she was indeed angry with me. I just had to wonder how angry she was.

Just how angry with me are you? I wrote.

Not as angry I've calmed down. I'm sure you kept it from me to protect me or something like that. I'm angrier with Ellen.

I decided to needed to see her then. We needed to talk so she could get my side of the story about it. Michael probably hadn't explained well enough, and I just wanted her to forgive me. I didn't want her to be upset for hiding it. I knew I'd be angry if it were me, and I understood why she was upset. I'd known for a while that this day was going to happen. Now I had to smooth things over. I just hoped I could get Barry to take me there.

Then I am coming over. I'm going to see if Barry will apparate me there. Can you wait for me outside or meet me halfway?

Sure. What? Were you worried I was going to hurt you or something?

I laughed when that message appeared. I knew she would never hit me. I didn't know if it was a joke or if she was genuinely worried so I decided to try and joke back with her.

Well you can't hex me but I do rather like my nose.

My message disappeared.

I would never hit you.

As soon as I saw that message, I called for Barry. I believed he was just down the hall with Minnie but I wasn't sure. I hoped I wouldn't have to go looking for him. However, he appeared in my door way rather quickly. I had to wonder if he had been in the hallway.

"What's going on little brother? Minnie just fell asleep, and I'd rather she stay that way," he said to me.

I rolled my eyes at that. "That baby sleeps through everything," I said to him. "You knocked over that vase and she didn't even flinch when it crashed on the floor."

"Still, I can only be lucky for so long," Barry said to me. "So what's going on? You look a little worried."

I explained everything as quick as I could. Barry gave a small shrug.

"No problem. I don't get why she is just finding this out now. You should have told her right away," he said to me. "I don't know why you trusted Ellen would say anything. She can be a coward at times. Look at how long she let things go on with Michael."

"I'm not really any better," I said. "All four of us seem to have that problem."

"Well you should learn to communicate with each other better," he said. "You've been friends since first year. If you didn't end your friendship after that fight in your second year, I doubt you will now. You have too much history now. I guarantee you will make up with Ellen eventually even though I'm not sure that's wise."

"I know," I said. "So can we go over? I really want to talk to her."

"Are you going to stay the night?" Barry asked and I shook my head. "Then just let me know when you want me to come back."

I quickly turned to write to Ashley.

Barry is going to bring me over. I'll see you in a few minutes.

Okay, I am going downstairs.

Once I saw her message, I quickly pocketed my parchment.

"Can you let mum and dad know where I went," I asked as he took a hold of my arm.

"Sure, but I doubt they care. They told you that you don't need permission anymore. As long as you're home by twelve they'll be fine. Actually I doubt you even have a curfew anymore, I didn't when I was your age," he said.

"At sixteen you did because of you-know-who, but you're right, mum and dad told me I don't have to be home at a certain time. I just have to let them know where I am," I said.

"Technically I didn't as long as they knew I was somewhere safe," Barry told me. "I just wasn't allowed to take the Knight Bus."

And without another word, he turned on the spot. I hated when he didn't warn me that he was going to apparate. When our feet hit pavement I was coughing.

"Can't you at least warn me?" I asked him.

We were now in the woods by Ashley's old school.

"It doesn't change how it feels," he said. "Anyway, write to me when you're ready to come home."

And without another word, he disappeared. I shook my head and then began walking to Ashley's place. I had made this trip so many times so that even though it was dark out, I could still find my way to her place no problem. At this time of year, a lot of teenagers hung out at the school for some reason. I supposed it was because they smoked drugs or drank there. No one ever thought to check there, and it was likely why Ashley had chosen the spot for the Knight Bus or to apparate to. It was always so dark back there at this time of night. The school didn't even have any lights outside of it. I could barely make out the people that were sitting on the swings and talking.

"Want a toke mate!" Someone called out but I ignored them.

The voice actually sounded familiar and I had to wonder if it was one of the guys Michael hung out with sometimes. He had made friends with a group of teenagers and I knew he smoked and drank with them. Perhaps he was even with them at the moment. It was dark enough that he wouldn't recognise me from the distance. I continued on. I needed to talk to Ashley.

Once I left the school, I was out on the streets where they were brightly lit. From the distance, I could see Ashley and she was running towards me. I didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. She could be running to me because she was happy to see me, or she was running because she was angry and she wanted to yell at me. As soon as we were close to each other, I called out:

"I hope you're not running to hit me!"

I thought I saw a smile appear on her face. She kept running however. Once she reached me, she threw her arms around me and smiled up at me.

"I don't think I'd ever hit you even if I were angry enough, I just don't understand why you didn't tell me," she told me.

"At first Ellen told me she'd tell you. She asked me not to say anything until she did, so I didn't. I wanted to so many times that night you came over, but I have to admit I had my own selfish reasons for not saying anything, it was the first time we'd seen each other in two weeks. I didn't want us to be in a bad mood while we finally had time to ourselves. Also Tasha went into labour with Minnie and it just didn't feel right. It wasn't something I could tell you on our message parchments," I explained.

She nodded.

"Understandable, Michael said you were flipping out about it though," she told me.

She pulled away from me and then took my hand to lead me to her place.

"I don't even know how he knew, I didn't tell him," I said but more to myself. I had my suspicions and I knew he had seen my flipping out. He must have heard more than I'd realized.

"Extendible ears," Ashley said as if to confirm this. "Brenda stopped him. He told me he got the gist of it though."

"So why did he tell you?" I had to ask. "It should have been me or Ellen."

I did have to wonder how that came up in conversation. Was he tired of the fighting between Ellen and me? I'd never told him not to tell her, so I couldn't be upset but perhaps I should have mentioned it to him. Perhaps he was trying to fish for information from Ashley. He did hate to be left out of things, and I knew he did want to know exactly what had happened that morning.

"We were talking about how there is tension between all of us again," Ashley told me. "Michael is worried that we will all fight again. I think he blurted again, kind of like that time when he told Stan that Ellen asked you out So why didn't you tell me when it seemed she hadn't? You should have known that she hadn't yet."

She sounded annoyed when she added the last bit, but not as furious as I originally thought she would be. She was right however. I'd known that Ellen hadn't told her the truth. I decided to be honest though. Barry had said we needed to communicate better with each other.

"I don't know," I admitted. "You're right that I should have. It's just she kept telling me she was eventually going to tell you. I can't really explain Ash. I guess I was scared after a while as well. I knew you were going to be angry with me for keeping it from you as time passed. I was a coward, and I kept hoping she'd say something because she told me she would. I knew this could potentially ruin your friendship with her. I know how much she means to you. She means a lot to me as well, but not enough that if it wrecked our relationship I could keep talking to her."

"I just can't believe she would do that," she said and I could tell by her tone that she was definitely angry now, but I knew the anger was for Ellen. "What exactly did she say to you? You told me she got upset about her grades."

I thought back to that day. I couldn't remember exactly everything but some things did still stand out for me. So I recounted it for her.

"She told me that she would have passed her OWLs if I would have just accepted that she and I were meant to be together. She said I shouldn't have been with you and that I should have focused all my time on her and helping her instead of you. She said that she's been waiting for me to see it, but I just haven't yet. She told me that I should just do you a favour and break up with you before I hurt you too bad when I realized how I felt about her. She said we could both be single for a while before we got together. She said you'd understand just as she'd understood but she was running out of patience," I said believing that was most of it.

I saw Ashley shaking her head with fury.

"I can't understand it. I just can't. Perhaps if in the future it didn't work out because we didn't get along and you two fell for each other, then maybe yes. This is something I don't understand though. I don't understand how she can go behind my back and tell you to dump me. Just how many times since Hogsmeade has she said something to you?"

"Too many," I answered although technically she hadn't said anything. However, she still stared at me and gave me the puppy dogs eyes. Her body language had shown that she still wanted me when we were alone. I could still see it at Quidditch practice. So even though she hadn't actually said the words. I was still counting those times. "She knows now though. I told her if she said something to me again then she and I were done. I felt bad when she first confessed to me about how she felt, and it was you I wanted. I even felt bad when I realized that you felt the same way. When we first got together I did worry about her quite a bit. I was pissed about Hogsmeade though. You and I were on our first date and she tried to ruin it. I felt bad when she went through her depression but I'm done now. I've run out of sympathy for her. You and I will be together a year in September. She's had a year to get over it. She's had more than that since it was in fourth year when she confessed how she felt. I can't deal with it for much longer."

I was starting to get upset again too at that moment. Just remembering that day still bothered me. I wondered if I should tell Ashley it was the reason why I'd wanted to fight Don and Xavier so bad that day. I decided against it though. Perhaps I'd bring it up some other time, but it seemed irrelevant for this conversation.

"She's going to hear it from me," Ashley said even angrier now. In the street lights I could see that her face was red. "I'm inviting her over, and I am telling her exactly how I feel. She lied to me. She told me she still had feelings for you, and she told me she wasn't okay with you and me being together but she was going to get over."

"I'm sure she felt that was her way of telling you," I said with a nod. It didn't surprise me that she'd leave out our conversation completely. She was trying to save herself a fight with Ashley and to move on from me. "I think that her way of moving on from me because she knows I won't tolerate it anymore. I told her as much," I added.

"She still needs to hear it from me," Ashley answered. "That explains why the two of you haven't wanted to be around each other lately. I felt bad when she confessed to me that she wasn't okay with us and I felt like a bad friend but what she did was worse, ten times worse. It's just as when she confessed to you how she felt. She was willing to break up with Stan for you just as she thought you should break up with me for her."

"Not going to happen," I told her quickly. "Ever since Minnie was born- well I've always loved you. You know that, but when Barry made those comments about you and me being there someday I could actually see it. It kind of scared me because we're still so young, you know? That's why I got so quiet. I could tell you were worried. I didn't want you to be freaked out, I know I was feeling freaked out."

"I felt the same way," she sighed. "I was scared that Barry's comment made you uncomfortable."

"It did, just in a different way," I explained. "I'm with you for as long as you want me to be."

"I guess we're stuck with each other then," she responded.

We were close to her house now. She stopped and turned to me. She stood on her tip toes to kiss me. I leaned down and our lips met. I didn't think I'd ever get bored of kissing her. It still felt like the first time each time we did it. I never wanted to stop. Even though I was only sixteen, I was ready to get an engagement ring for her. Minnie's birth had confirmed that for me. We didn't have to marry right away. We could wait years, but I just wanted to put a ring on her finger. I wanted us engaged because I knew she was the one for me and it didn't matter that we were still in school. I wasn't going to wait years like Barry had.

Someone let out a whistle that made us break apart. Michael was grinning at us from her fence.

"I can see you two made up," he said and then glanced at me."Are you staying a while?"

I gave a small shrug. I had my message parchment and Barry was right. "I don't see why not. I do wish you could have warned me though mate," I added to Michael but he just raised his eyebrows at me.

"Sorry mate," Michael said. "She did have the right to know though. I'm sorry I told her, but at the same time I'm not. I had to calm her down. She was pissed."

"I still am, but I am with Ellen," she said. "I'm going to tell her that though. Let's go inside."

We walked up the sidewalk and entered the front door. I could hear the television once we were inside so I assumed her parents were watching it. She led us upstairs to her room.

"Do you two want to be alone for ten minutes or so?" Michael joked.

"We'll need longer than that," I told him.

"Not with my parents downstairs," she said with a grin and a wink. "No, we'll just hang out for the night. "I don't want to talk about Ellen for the rest of the night. I just want us to have fun. I'll write to her tomorrow."

"Sounds good to me," I said. "I'll be happy if we don't talk about her until we go back to school."

Ashley entered her room and turned on her radio before she sat down on her bed. I shut the door behind her and instead we discussed the pool party. It was a nice relaxing night, but I always felt relaxed when I was at her place. If it could just be the three of us in our group, I'd be fine with that at the moment.

The next day, I went to work and all day I was curious about how things would go between Ashley and Ellen. I planned to write her when I got home to find out how it went, so I checked my parchment as soon as I entered my room. One thing that I hated about the parchments was that you had to go through each message before you could write back to someone. You also had to read them in order from the last person who sent them, to the first person. They weren't the only ones who had written to me, the rest were messages from various Hogwarts students asking about my party, so I had to go through each of them. I wrote down each person's name until I got to a message from Ellen.

Thanks a lot for telling Ashley. I was planning to tell her everything, but I guess you wanted your revenge on me. I know you're angry with me Ben, but that was no reason to betray me. We've been friends for almost six years. I was your very first friend at Hogwarts, and yet you continue to put her first. If it hadn't been for me, you two would not be friends. You two would not be dating right now if it hadn't been for me. I'm the one who really put the group together, and all three of you seem to be betraying me.

I hated it when she threw the: 'we were friends first' in my face. I didn't understand how that was relevant. Sure we'd been friends since we'd met on the train, but that didn't mean anything. I didn't understand why that meant I should be more loyal to her, or why it meant we should be dating. I planned to write back to her, but I knew I still had some messages to get through. The next one was from Ashley who left a long message about how the fight had gone. After her message was just some random ones again. I was glad when I finally got through all of them. I decided to write Ellen first before I talked to Ashley.

Quit bringing up the fact that we were friends first. None of that even matters. The four of us have been friends since first year. We have friends outside of our group. I'm loyal to anyone who I am friends with. You aren't number one in my life just because we met on the train. I put Ashley first because she is my GIRLFRIEND. You know that she was also my BEST FRIEND before that. It wasn't because of when we met, but because of how I felt about her. It doesn't mean that I liked you any less. I just saw you as my friend Ellen.

I also did not betray you. You promised you would talk to her but I think you were just going to put it behind us. You gave her some bullshit story about how you're in love with me, but you were going to move on. You didn't bother to tell her about the rest of our conversation, and she had the right to know. She's supposed to be YOUR best friend. You were ready to betray your best friend to be with me, just as you were ready to dump Stan for me. You never stop Ellen. You don't care who you hurt as long as you can be with me, and that's why you are not a good friend or a good girlfriend. You have some growing up to do before you get in a relationship.

You are just disloyal bitch and I don't get how you were sorted into Hufflepuff. You talk about how Melanie should never have been sorted there, but I think the two of you are cut from the same cloth. Sometimes I think you would have been better off in Slytherin, and we should have had Claire instead of you. She fits into our house better than you do. I'd even take TARA over you. You once told me that the Ravenclaws are backstabbers, and if it weren't fact that you're stupid, I think you could have been sorted there. You'd get along well with girls such as Lydia, Tara and Natalie.

A lot of what I wrote to her was just to hurt her again. I did truly believe that she wasn't a Hufflepuff. I just wasn't sure which house she could belong in except Slytherin. It wasn't that I still believed the old stereotypes but Slytherins did look after themselves first before others. It's exactly what Ellen did. She didn't care if she hurt Stan or Ashley, all she cared about was getting me. She also was not a hard-worker either.

My message disappeared from the parchment so I knew she'd gotten it and that she must have been writing back.

Yeah right Ben. I know what you're doing. It's what you did that day in Hogsmeade but I don't believe it this time. You're pissed off at me, and maybe you have the right to be but I don't believe you'd take Tara over me. I also know that you don't think I am stupid. You've been telling me since first year that I am very smart. I guess you're not trying too hard to hurt me this time, it doesn't seem as if your heart is in it. I still think you're just denying how you feel about me. I get it. You don't want to hurt Ashley, and neither do I but it's you who said it yourself. Sometimes you have to follow your heart, and that's what I am doing and it's what you should do.

No, I did follow my heart Ellen. I am with Ashley, and I told you already to stop bringing it up. I guess it's another thing I will have tell Ashley since you won't. You're just a coward. By the way, it wasn't me who told Ashley, but Michael. He knew how angry I'd been and he felt she had the right to know since you didn't want her to know.

Ha ha I am the coward? Right. You didn't tell her either Ben. You just wanted to sweep it under the rug.

I think that's the other way around Ellen. You didn't want a conflict with Ashley. You told me not to tell her. Are you forgetting that part? Are you forgetting why you messaged me today in the first place? According to you, I am betraying you because you thought I'd told her. Now apparently I am a coward because I didn't tell her. Ellen, you can be too much sometimes. You are just upset because she now knows, and you're taking it out on her and me. She hasn't done anything wrong. You were the one who wanted who wanted to sweep things under the rug.

She hasn't done anything wrong? She went for you when she knew I wanted you! She is the one who betrayed me first!

Ellen, we aren't having that conversation again. Look I am done talking to you. All I have to say is that you should take a good look in the mirror Ellen. Everything that you accuse Ashley, me or even Michael of are things you do yourself. I'm done talking to you now.

Yeah well I am still going to your pool party. Your mum and dad personally invited me.

No you're not. My parents don't want you here either. If you show up here, I will get one of my sisters or Barry to disapparate you home. I told you already; I don't want to see you until we go back to school. Now after this conversation, and the fight you had with Ashley, I don't even want to talk to you at school. Find someone else to hang out with because none of us want anything to do with you anymore.

I don't want to talk to the three of you either. You, Ashley and Michael all betrayed me. Michael had no right to tell her, and I don't get why you had to tell him. If you want to talk about someone not belonging in Hufflepuff, maybe you yourself should take a good look in the mirror. You're ending a five year friendship for your girlfriend. You always said you wouldn't pick a girl over your friends, but I guess you lied about that one.

I shook my head at the last message, but I didn't answer her back. I'd already talked to her longer than I'd wanted to. I just cleared her message away to talk to Ashley. I wished there was a way to block certain people from contacting you. I remembered Ashley telling me that you could block people from calling you or emailing you. I believed it was something they should look into.

I wrote to Ashley to tell her the gist of the conversation between Ellen and me. She didn't seem too surprised, but she seemed upset that their friendship was basically over. Ellen had been her first friend after all, and her best friend. It bothered me as well but not as much as it would have been if I'd lost Ashley instead. I did hate the fact that our group had come to this. My siblings had warned me that this could happen when you hung out with people of the opposite sex.

At nights I did lay awake feeling bad that a five year friendship had ended. I did care about Ellen a lot, even if she didn't see it that way. I was very angry with her, and I didn't know when or if I'd talk to her again, but that didn't mean I didn't feel terrible. I felt that this time it was her move. Usually one of us went to her, but she had to apologize this time. It was something I would have to talk to Ashley about as well. I knew she'd want to talk to her, but she couldn't. If she did, it would just show Ellen that she was right and we were in the wrong. This time it was all Ellen.

I worried that she would still show up on the day of my pool party. As I had the year before, I planned to have it a birthday party for Ashley as well. It was her seventeenth birthday in a week after all. She was the first of us to come of age. It had been a day we'd all be talking about since first year. At the end of September, I'd be of age. During the Christmas holidays, we'd be able to do magic when we wanted. I just wished we could learn to apparate during first term, but Barry had told us it was second term when we would learn. I found that to be rather useless.

When I complained about this to Barry out on our patio, he just gave a small shrug.

"It happens to the best of little brother. Tasha didn't even get to learn until our seventh year. Think about it, she had to be in hiding and she couldn't do any magic or anything to hide," Barry told me.

"But she stayed with cousin Martin, and he protected her well enough," I said. "You know, I always wondered how she was able to do seventh year when she missed sixth year."

"She knew the subjects," Barry told me. "She studied while she stayed with him. She was able to do sixth and seventh year simultaneously. Anyway, you'll be able to apparate soon enough on your own. It's only Christmas that you can't apparate home. By Easter you can come home on your own and next summer you can. It could be worse, Ellen has to wait until August doesn't she?"

"I don't want to talk about Ellen," I said angrily.

"I'm just trying to point out that you really don't have much to complain about. In a little more than a month you'll finally be seventeen. Quit your complaining. Now lets get this pool party ready. Your friends will be here soon enough."

I didn't say anything because I knew Barry was right. Complaining about it wasn't going to help matters, and there really was no point in doing so. I was just in a mood, but I cheered up as soon he mentioned the party. My family knew that I was dedicating it to Ashley's seventeenth. They had even bought her gifts, including Brenda. Whenever someone turned seventeen, they were showered with gifts.

"By the way, your Hogwarts letter came today," Barry told me as we worked in silence out on the patio. "I was nosy and I noticed you were made Quidditch captain."

"Wait what?" I asked as I dropped a pot of flowers that my mother insisted we hang up.

I watched as it crashed to the ground but with a wave of his wand, Barry was able to repair it. He levitated to hang up on the hanger I'd tried to put it on.

"I can't be Quidditch captain," I said. "Ellen is ten times better than I am. Professor Sprout even knows that. I am just a good player, but I couldn't tell you anything about Quidditch moves or plays. She's the one who has been reading up on everything since even first year!"

"Well they look into your school work too," Barry told me. "Ellen failed most of her OWLs and she's never been a good student."

"I don't want to be Quidditch captain," I muttered and I had to see if there was a way for Professor Sprout to give it to Ellen.

Most people on the team would give anything to be the captain, but I wasn't. When I was younger, it had been kind of a fantasy to not only be prefect and Head Boy but Quidditch captain as well. I'd never expected it to happen and by fifth year, I hadn't wanted it to happen. Being a captain would only take my concentration away from my school work. For the next two years, I had to have the best marks. I didn't even care that much about beating Tara anymore, it was just about getting the NEWTs I needed to be a Healer.

"Do you know how many people would want that badge?" Barry asked me incredulously.

"I know but I need top marks. I don't even know if I plan to keep playing Quidditch. Fun time is over now Barry. I need to get into Healer training, and this badge could prevent that," I told him.

"Ben, I told you this in second year and I am going to tell you again. You need to try and have fun as well. I know that you want to be a Healer but you also know how hard it's going to be when you do become one. Now is the time to have your fun before you're tied down to you career. That is going to happen you know," he told me.

"I plan to still have fun," I told Barry. "That's what I mean though. Quidditch is just fun to me, and now I have this badge. It's now become serious. As angry as I am with her, I want Ellen to have the badge. I'm talking to Professor Sprout about it when I can. She deserves it more than I do."

"Problem solved then Ben," Barry told me.

Shortly after that, my guests began to show up. My parents, sisters and Tasha had been working hard in the kitchen in preparation. Brenda wasn't happy about this but she liked Ashley well enough that she sucked it up. Ashley and Michael were one of the first to show up, and then the Hufflepuff's. The three third years showed up early on.

Rory and Derek spent a good part of the day following Michael around. I couldn't believe how much they looked up to him after the incident in their first year. Of course he'd apologized long ago, but they almost seemed to worship him. It was the same way that Alana looked up to Ashley. I felt a little jealous that I didn't have the same ramport with the younger students that they did. I was a prefect after all.

Ashley brought up the one topic that I didn't want to talk about. The fight with Ellen. Even though I didn't want to discuss it with her, I indulged her anyway. We hadn't really been able to talk about it much outside the parchments and some things were better to talk about in person.

"You know of course she still wanted to come over for the pool party?" I told her.

"Even though she's angry with you as well?" Ashley asked with raised eyebrows.

"She messaged me right after the fight and told me I betrayed her by telling you. I told her it wasn't me, but Michael. So of course now she's upset with him," I told her.

"I know," she responded. "She told him off as well. It looks like she won't be talking to us when we go back to school."

"Well I didn't want her to ruin today," I said and then I tried to change the subject. "I'm sure you already know that we plan to celebrate your birthday as well. You're going to be seventeen. You're the first one of us come of age."

"It's hard to believe," she said smiling. "Soon I'll be able to do magic outside of school. As angry with her as I am, it is awful she won't be here to celebrate it with us. I always thought we'd all celebrate our seventeenth birthdays together."

I sighed. Of course it had to go back to Ellen. I had hoped she would notice the subtle change in the subject, but apparently not. She seemed keen on discussing it still.

"Maybe you'll make up before your birthday," I said though I doubted it. "Don't dwell on that today though, let's just have fun. I doubt either one of you is ready to throw away a five year friendship."

"What about you?" She asked. "The two of you have been friends for just as long."

"I'm fine as long as she accepts that nothing will ever happen between us. You know she threw that in my face too? I forgot to tell you. She told me that she and I had been friends first and so it wasn't fair that I cared more about you. She and I had been friends for one day longer," I told her

"It shouldn't matter how long the friendship is anyway," she said. "You wouldn't be saying that if Denver and I were still together."

Ashley and Denver was another conversation I wanted to avoid. He was there of course, and he still stared at her all the time. In fact as my eyes fell on him, I saw that he was watching us that very moment. The second he saw me glance at him however, he turned back to his conversation with Morgan. I looked back at Ashley who was oblivious to all this. I tried to think about the right thing to say about Ellen that would hopefully turn the conversation away from her. So I decided to say what I had been thinking all along about her.

"I think Ellen is just reaching. In the end she is just very hurt, and you know it. As angry as both are about it, that's all it is. She just likes me as much as we like each other," I finally said. "I wish things wouldn't be this way and I'd hoped by now she'd move on. She needs to meet someone else. Maybe it's better if we take a break from her for a while. It will give her time to move on."

"Ben the last time that happened she got depressed and stayed in bed for a long time," she said to me looking worried.

"I know," I said. "But I don't know what else to do."

Thankfully more people arrived to distract us from the conversation and soon enough the patio, the pool and the backyard were full of my school mates. The youngest being the third years and the oldest some seventh years. I'd never dreamed one day that I would have a party this big, and with people from different years. It was amazing to see, but I had to admit, it was odd that Ellen wasn't around.

Ashley went off to talk to Alana. I decided to let them have their talk and I went around to talk to my guests. Some fourth year girls tried to flirt with me, so I moved away from them quickly to join the Hufflepuff boys. I had to wonder where they got the firewhiskey from and I suspected that Jared had brought it. I didn't understand how he managed to get a hold of them, but he always had a bottle.

"Are you going to drink or will mummy and daddy stop you?" Jared asked as he held up the bottle of golden liquid.

"You know my parents don't care anymore," I told him. "Just don't let anyone under sixth year have any." I glanced at Rory and Derek who were standing on either side of Michael.

"Oh come on," Derek said.

"No," I said firmly. "We've told you this before. Your parents trust us when they let you come over to our places. We aren't going to betray that trust by letting you drink here."

"You don't care when we drink in the common room," Rory said.

"It's different there," I said. "Since when do you two drink anyway?"

"Since the end of last year," Derek spoke up. "We've never tried firewhiskey before. Come on, one shot won't hurt."

"No," Jared said. "You don't have enough experience with alcohol to be drinking and swimming."

"And my parents are responsible for you. I just think any guest here who is under sixteen should not be drinking, and I stand by that. I am sorry," I told them.

"Fine but we're trying it when we go back to school," Rory said and the two boys walked off.

"Anyway," Hank said. "Let's do some shots Hoofer."

I did a couple shots of firewhiskey with them. It gave me a warm buzzed feeling. I wasn't planning to get drunk, but I loved the feeling a bit of the alcohol gave me. I forgot about my problems for the day and just enjoyed the party. After a while, I announced Ashley's birthday as I did the year before. In a way I wished I'd waited to surprise her this year but it was still a good day overall.

We had fireworks for her this year that Nick set to go off by the pool. Ashley seemed shocked that we'd all gone all out for her. She didn't seem to understand how much my family loved her though. They'd all wanted her party to go well. The cake was even bigger than the one from the year before and this time it had sparklers on it.

"You only turn seventeen once babe," I told her before I gave her a kiss. People began to whistle at us, but I didn't care. Normally I wasn't one for public displays of affection but I didn't care that day.

Everyone scrambled out of the pool to line up and get a piece of cake all the while wishing her a happy birthday.

"It's not that exciting," Jared said and then he put an arm around Ashley and pulled her close. "Now eighteen is exciting. I'm going to be of age in both the wizarding world and the muggle world. I can get into muggle bars now."

I knew he was now single. I didn't know exactly what had happened with him and his ex-girlfriend. I couldn't even remember what her name was, but I knew it had been over for a while. I knew he'd been trying to find other girls to shag.

"And then you can pick up some muggle girls," I said to him with amusement. I could honestly see him doing that. I knew he did it at the Dragons Breath. "I've seen that you haven't had a girlfriend since what's her name dumped you."

"Jolene was too intense anyway," Jared said. "She was too jealous of my past. She hated when I talked to Ashley even though she knew we didn't like each other like that. She knew that Ashley and Ben were dating."

I was surprised by this. I didn't even get jealous of their past and I was sure he was in love with her. I also knew he'd never do anything. He respected both Ashley and me too much to do that. However, I guessed perhaps Jolene didn't know him as well as we did.

"She was jealous of us?" Ashley asked him. "Out of all the girls you slept with it was me she hated you talking to. Doesn't she remember when we hated each other?"

"We hated each other in the first year and second year." Jared laughed. "I hardly doubt that's relevant. Anyway it wasn't just you. It was Melanie too of all people. Melanie and I only just started talking."

"Okay explain that one," I said. I was still shocked about that revelation. "I never understood that one. How did you two even hook up?"

"She caught me out after curfew. I told her jokingly that I could make it worth her while if she didn't rat me out to a prefect like she wanted. She actually took me up on my offer. I thought for sure that would make her angrier. It didn't, and she wanted more after that night," Jared answered with a shrug. "She was a rat at the time, but she's hot. How could I not?"

I started to laugh as I shook my head. "Maybe you should take her out again," I suggested. "She seems a lot better than she used to be."

He glanced over at Melanie who was invited to her first party. She was eating a slice of cake and laughing with Sarah and a few of the Ravenclaw girls.

"If she wants it," he said. "You know me."

"Yes we do," I said and then turned to Ashley. We still hadn't had any cake yet. "Come on we'd better get some cake before there isn't any left."

"You know, Sarah's birthday is on the sixth," Ashley told me. "She'll be seventeen too. I wish we'd thought of that."

"I forgot," I said and I truly felt bad about that. I liked Sarah well enough, and we could have done a joint party for them. So I called out to everyone: "I just remembered. Sarah's birthday is a day after Ashley's! Be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday as well everyone! She'll be seventeen as well."

Everyone began to sing to Sarah as well. As we got our cake, she walked over to us blushing furiously. She wasn't a shy girl, but I guessed she hadn't expected this.

"I really wish you hadn't done that," she said but she was smiling.

"Ashley reminded me," I told her before looking at my girlfriend with a smile.

"It's only right," Ashley said. "I don't think it's right for your birthday to be ignored when it's just a day after mine. If we're celebrating mine than we should be celebrating yours as well! We've never had a joint birthday party. We should have this year."

"Well this is the first time you're speaking to me in years," Melanie said as she joined us."But next year we should do that."

"I can't believe next year will be our last year," Ashley said.

"Oh lets not think about that yet," Sarah said. "Let's just have fun today."

So that's what we did. As the day went on, we learned that Ellen had tried to turn some of the Hufflepuff's against us. I was sure she likely tried it with the other houses too. Perhaps she would get Tara to join in on her 'I hate Ashley' compaign.

"She told us that she'd probably be hanging out with us a lot when we got back to school," Jess told Ashley "I asked her why and she told me. I told her not to bother because we're on yours and Ben's side. I also told her that she can't always use us like that. I mean we all get along so well in Hufflepuff, but we all have our best friends. She can't just decide that we'll be her best friends just because she isn't speaking to you, Ben or Michael. She's not speaking to us now."

"Hopefully she comes around," Ashley said. "This isn't like her."

"Are you kidding?" I asked with shock. After five years how could she not know that this was exactly the way Ellen was. "She's always been like this. Anyone who takes our side she is going to get angry with. Who knows, maybe we'll see her talking to Tara in the new term."

"I can't see that," Melanie said. "I've talked to Tara, and she hates her. She hates all of you… well except Ben of course. Tara wouldn't talk to her even if she begged."

"I don't even know how you could hang out with her," Ashley said to her.

"I've never liked her that much but she had her uses. I always like Lydia and Natalie. The only thing I didn't like about them was the fact that they followed Tara around everywhere. I was hated by everyone in Hufflepuff though, so I needed more friends besides Sarah somewhere. Anyway, she always bad mouthed you and Ellen so much," Melanie told her.

"I'm guessing you did as well," I spoke up. I knew she had. Tara had been more than happy to tell me tales about Melanie. "Don't even deny it."

"I was an idiot," Melanie admitted. "I was a jealous idiot. I can't explain it. I guess last year I had a bit of a wakeup call that's all. All summer I've regretted the last few years. I'm glad everyone can forgive me. I always felt awful when I saw everyone together and having fun. I didn't even care that you guys were drinking, I just wanted to be part of it. Last year at the end of the party I decided to just take my chances. You guys brought me over though."

"It's just nice to see Hufflepuff united again," Anne said. "It's about time; I mean all this petty fighting is ridiculous when you think about it. Now Ellen isn't talking to us."

"Ellen will come around," I said. "She always does. She'll have her tantrum but she'll talk to us again."

"I wonder if she'll try talking to us," Sarah said to Melanie.

"Well I don't want her hanging out with us if she is just going to bad mouth Ben, Michael and Ashley," Melanie said. "I'm done with the fights. I want us all to be friends. I refuse to be part of any of it. I don't want to be rude to her, but I'm taking her side either."

"I'm sure she will try to talk to you," Erica said. "After everything that happened she probably thinks you'll be on her side."

"Nope," Melanie said. "I hate to take sides at all, but this is ridiculous. I might have been excluded from the Hufflepuff group, but I know that she told Ashley to go for Ben. I know everything that happened and afterwards. Everyone does. This is awful though. I just wanted the next two years for everyone to get along. We're not going to see much of each after Hogwarts. I've already wasted the last few years. I refuse to have anything ruin that."

"Don't worry about it Melanie," I told her. "This is between Ashley, Me and Ellen. Perhaps even Michael. It doesn't need to involve anyone else."

"Well it kind of involves us now too," Anne said. "As much as we don't want it to, it does."

"Let's just worry about that when we go back to school," Ashley said. "There's no need to ruin today over it."

I was glad to hear her say it. I was so tired of the Ellen talk, although I knew this wasn't the last we would talk about her. Either she would come around or she wouldn't. I believed eventually she would as I had said, but I just had to do everything I could to make sure Ashley did not talk to her. I would worry about that when we were on our own though. For the moment, I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a kiss. I just wanted to enjoy the day as she said we should.


	8. Sixth Year

"Ben! Michael!"

I turned to see who was calling my name. It was September the first and we had just entered platform nine and three quarters. Mum and dad had already said their good-byes. They were in a hurry that day to get back home. Minnie was being fussier than usual, and they believed she was sick. Tasha was worried because she wanted to eventually move back to their flat, but she was scared to be left alone with the baby. So mum and dad wanted to get back and help her out. I was fine with this. I hated the emotional goodbyes we had every year. I was sure next year would be even worse.

"Timmy!" Michael said as he noticed who was calling out to us first.

Timmy was eleven years old, but just as Ellen had been small for her age, he was also very small. He looked a lot younger than his age. I thought he could still be confused as eight or nine. He was currently running over to us. I could see Mrs. Perenge and Ellen not too far away. Ellen was glaring over at us.

"Guess what! It's my first day of school!" Timmy told us excitedly. "I am going to be in my first year finally. I've been waiting for this day since Ellen started. Where is Ashley? I want to see her too. I was hoping I'd see the three of you. I missed you all summer." He said this all very fast.

"She's likely already on the train," I told him. "And we know it's your first day. You've been counting down the years since Ellen started."

"Ellen said the same thing," Timmy said as he made a face at his sister. "She's been saying a lot of bad things about you three, but I don't believe any of it. Mum said she's just being immature about the whole thing. I don't even know exactly what happened, but she'll get over it soon enough. I think she has missed you even if she talks about you behind your back. She complained to me a lot this summer about Ashley. She said she betrayed her, but I just don't see it happening. I think she is just jealous that you and Ashley are together, Ben."

"That's exactly what it's about Timmy," I said. "I'm sure she'll come around."

"Don't worry about our drama," Michael added. "Just worry about your sorting tonight. It's very hard you know."

"No, it's not," Timmy said. "I know it's just a hat that sorts us. Ellen tried to keep it from me but I found out anyway. I'm hoping to get into Gryffindor but Hufflepuff would be nice too. I don't think I'd do well in Ravenclaw and I definitely don't want Slytherin."

"Well good luck tonight," I said to him. "I'm sure you'll end up where you belong. Hufflepuff is the best house."

"It really is," Michael told him. "Good luck with tonight and meeting new people. You'll likely find your best friends either today or tomorrow."

"Timmy! Get away from them now!" Ellen had walked over to us furiously. "I don't want you talking to them."

"I can talk to whoever I want," Timmy told her. "They're my friends too."

"They don't want to be friends with an ickle firstie," Ellen told him. "They're not even my friends anymore."

"Just because you don't want to talk to them doesn't mean I can't," Timmy said angrily. "They are my friends. You can't tell me what to do."

"We'll see you later Timmy," Michael said.

Mrs. Perenge had walked over by that point. She greeted us quickly before she turned to Ellen.

"Ellen I have had enough of this! Your attitude is starting to get old. That's not the way someone should talk to her friends. You know that I promised Ashley's mother that I'd get her to school-"

"I can't believe you're taking their sides over mine. I am your daughter!"

Michael and I hurried to get on the train, but it felt good to hear her getting told off.

"This isn't about sides Ellen. This is about your school work and your attitude. I've known those kids since they were Timmy's age. I also know that they didn't do anything wrong. You and Ben were never meant to be. It's time you move on and grow up. I never thought I'd be this disappointed in you. You're better than the person you've turned into this summer," Mrs. Perenge said.

Michael and I waited until we were on the train to talk about her. We peered into each compartment looking for Ashley. I knew she was already here. She'd told me that she was going to try and get here early. I'd offered my place to her the night before but she'd said no. She'd decided just to take the Knight Bus to get to the station.

"Can you believe that?" Michael asked. "All he wanted to do was talk to us. She's even been bad-mouthing us to him."

"She's just being ridiculous, but I am not that surprised," I told him.

We found Ashley in our usual compartment. We put our trunks up in the luggage rack beside Ashley's. She was looking at us curiously. I took a seat beside her.

"How did you get your trunk in the luggage rack?" I asked her. I knew she couldn't have done magic. She still had four days to go, but she couldn't have done it herself. She always struggled with it.

"What's going on now?" She asked at the same time. "Some seventh year Slytherin helped me," she answered quickly with a shrug. "We were the only ones here who were early. So what's going on?"

"Ellen," Michael told her. "We just saw her with her mother and Timmy. He came over to talk to us and we wished him good luck for tonight. Ellen got angry when we talked to him. Her mother told her off though. I think she knows what's going on. As we were getting on the train we could hear her telling her that she needed to grow up and move on. She said the way she was acting was no way to treat her friends."

"Her mum knows," Ashley told him. "She sent me a message on Ellen's parchment. She told me I was still welcome to come over if I needed to be dropped off. I told her I wasn't. She told me she knew everything and she wasn't angry with me. She likes you, but she doesn't think you're right for her daughter and someday Ellen's going to realize that."

"So apparently we're not allowed to talk to Timmy now," I said as I thought about our encounter.

"She's really going to milk this isn't she?" Ashley asked.

"I think she wants us to feel sorry for her," Michael said. "I could be wrong, but I think she wants us to go begging her for forgiveness."

"That could very well be," I said. "You said that she told you that she wasn't okay with us dating. She was trying to make you feel bad."

She was doing the same to me as well. She wanted us all to feel as bad as she did.

"I don't think so," Ashley said. "I think she was feeling bad after you rejected her again, and so she did want to move on. She was going to try. I think she was just upset because I found out what happened. Ellen can over react when she is feeling hurt. Don't you remember how she reacted when her parents were fighting? She did everything she could to rile you up about Jaime when they were fighting. When she found out they divorced, she blamed you for it Ben. Ellen acts out when she is upset, she is almost like you Michael. I think maybe part of it is that she wants sympathy but not all of it."

"She's being very childish about it," I replied. "She told both of us to go for it. When you saw me kissing that girl, she forced you to talk to me. She gave us her consent. We didn't need it anyway, but she did it anyway. She can't just change her mind afterwards because she hates seeing us together. She can't just blame me every time something goes wrong in her life. She can't tell me to dump you to be with her. Now she is trying to get sympathy from other people. She tried getting it from Jess, Anne and Erica. I'm sure she'll keep trying at Hogwarts."

"Just as you all decided with me, she can come to us," Michael said. "Don't go after her Ashley."

"I agree," I said knowing that she would try. "If I find out that you went after her, I am going to be very pissed off at you."

The last bit I knew I shouldn't have added to her. I knew I shouldn't have threatened her. At the moment however, I couldn't think of another way to keep her from talking to Ellen. Barry would tell me it was a childish and unnecessary threat. I even knew that but I also knew that she just could not talk to Ellen. I likely wouldn't be angry with her for talking to Ellen, but I wouldn't be happy about it either.

"I don't think there is any need for a threat Ben," Ashley said coolly.

"I know you well enough to know that you'd follow her. Don't even bring up Michael either," I said when I noticed she was about to protest. "It's different this time. You weren't as close to him as you are to Ellen. You were ready to quit your friendship with him. I know with Ellen that you still want to be friends with her. Chasing her would be the worst thing you could do."

"Fine, but there is still no need to threaten me," Ashley said. "Why are you trying to fight between us now?"

"I'm not trying to start a fight," I told her. "I'm just letting you know that I will be angry with you if you say anything to her. I'm sure you don't want that, now do you?"

Michael was staring at me with raised eyebrows. I was sure he was wondering where I was going with this. I wasn't even sure where I was going with it. I knew it seemed like I was an adult threatening my child or something, and I knew she found it insulting.

"Of course I don't want you angry with me, but I don't like threats either," she said. "I won't talk to her, but I don't like how you feel the need to tell me what to do. I don't tell you what to do."

"Honestly, sometimes I think you need someone to tell you what to do," I said. "You put yourself into situations that you don't need to. You said Ellen and Michael do dumb things when their emotional, but you do as well sweetheart. You know it too, so sit there and get upset with me for stating the truth but I'm not holding back this time, and I have held back a lot during our relationship. I don't think I will continue to do so though."

The last part I added was because of the latest message I'd received from Ellen. Part of that message was why I was bit annoyed with Ashley enough to threaten her. I didn't want to bring it up in front of Michael, but eventually I was going to. Apparently the puking snackboxes that Michael had found in his bag were from Ashley. She'd considered taking them to throw up so she could lose weight. I'd been so angry when I'd read that message, not only with Ashley but with Ellen for keeping it secret. That was a very serious thing. I knew about eating disorders and I was terrified that she was about to, or perhaps already had one. That kind of mentality could lead to one, even if she hadn't gone through with it. Ellen had used that incident as a way to rub it in my face.

Ashley did take things too far when she was emotional and the puking snackboxes were enough proof of that. It bothered me every time I thought about the fact that she had thought she needed to lose weight, but this just infuriated me. It was why I didn't think I should hold back on some of the stupid things she did. It was why I felt the need to threaten her even if it sounded bad. She did need it sometimes.

I could see her face going red as she glared over at me.

"Ben you realize this whole situation with Ellen is making us fight amongst ourselves?" Michael asked as he looked from Ashley to me. "I don't want another second year."

"I don't either," I told him and I knew this conversation was leading to that, especially when I had threatened her. It wasn't something that often went well with her or Ellen. "I don't want to fight," and I glanced into Ashley's furious eyes. She was breathing heavily now. "I don't. I'm not saying any of this to fight with you, or to hurt you. I just want you to hear the truth. I can see you're angry and you want to tell me off and that's fine. Maybe you should but you and I both know that everything I just said is the truth."

"I can't really think of anything to say," she finally said and I saw her relax before she laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm already fighting with Ellen; I don't want to fight with you too. You're right, I did want to snap at you but I have nothing."

I was surprised that she let it go so easily. I was glad about that. The last thing we needed as Michael said was another second year, and she was the last person I wanted to fight with. I knew I shouldn't have threatened her either. If it kept her from chasing Ellen however, it was worth it.

"Now can we just stop talking about her and just start of the year peaceful?" Michael asked. "We'll see what happens. We've agreed that none of us will talk to her, and let's leave it at that."

We were quiet for a few moments and then Michael brought up sixth year. He and I discussed what classes we planned to keep, and how we thought the year would go. Barry had told me that sixth year felt easy compared to fifth year.

"That isn't to say the work isn't advanced," I told Michael as I told him this. "It's going to be hard work, but the workload won't be as much. We won't be studying as much as we did last year. Next year will be hard too, but nothing ever compares to fifth year."

"Well I for one am glad about that," he said. "I'm keeping five classes at the most. At least this year we'll have more whole periods to ourselves."

"Barry said a lot of those will be used to do homework," I said to him.

"Sometimes," Michael said happily. "I'll be right back," he said as he stood up. "I need to use the loo."

As soon as he left, I turned to Ashley who had remained quiet the entire time. I leaned over to give her a kiss.

"You're sure quiet now babe," I said to her. "I hope you're not too hurt."

"I'm not, I'm just thinking," she told me and gave me a weak smile. "Everything you said was right. I have done impulsive things, just as Ellen or Michael have."

"It's not just that. You just hate having people angry with you or having enemies. Most of the time your instinct has been right, but I can't agree with you this time. If you talk to Ellen, you'll just admit she is right and we're in the wrong. She needs to realize that she needs to move on and meet someone else. No matter how angry I get with you, I'll always love you," I said to her and gave her another kiss. "It would be the dumbest thing you could do."

"I hate how you know me so well," she said. "You know exactly what I'm thinking."

"I don't think you'll always see it as a bad thing," I said with a grin.

"I don't know," she said now jokingly. I was glad to see happy now. "You'll use it when you want to, but when it comes to other things you'll be clueless."

"I use my powers only for good," I told her.

"You don't know what I'm thinking right now," she said good-naturedly. "At least I hope not anyway."

I was sure it was a good thing by this point. My thoughts were going to a place where we could be alone without anyone disturbing us.

"Well as long as it's a good thing, and I think it probably is," I said and kissed her once again. I knew I had to take advantage of our alone time, and now that we were in a good mood I wanted more. Unfortunately it would have to wait.

"It is," she assured me. "Eventually you'll know but for now it's a secret."

When she added the last part, I kind of wondered if it was about my birthday. At the end of her party, she'd told me that she wanted to do something for me. She wouldn't say much more, but I had to wonder if she was planning something as well for me. After everyone had left, my family had all given her their gifts. She'd been so impressed and shocked that everyone, including Nick had been a part of it. So I was sure that her secret had to do with my seventeenth birthday. Perhaps I could get it out of Michael later.

Michael returned to the compartment not too much longer followed by Jared, Stan and Hank. They were all talking excitedly about the pool party. By the end of it, all four of them had been quite drunk. Mum and dad had insisted on them staying overnight, but they hadn't. Someone that Jared knew had shown up to apparate Jared, Hank and Stan back to Jared's place. It had been a good day, but the boys had gotten into the alcohol too much. I would have to remind them that my parents didn't mind if they drank, however they had to be careful.

After a while, I needed to use the loo. On the way back, I heard Ellen's voice coming from one of the compartments. I paused to listen to what she was saying.

"All three of them are just backstabbers. They're even trying to turn my own little brother against me," she was saying.

"Ellen I know you don't believe that for a moment," Keith told her "I know you're angry and hurt but they're your friends."

"You need to move on from Ben," Dan added. "It's Ashley and Ben who are meant to be together."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Ellen said angrily.

"And you know it's true," Dan said. "You just don't like the fact that Ashley got the guy. You hate it that you were rejected. I've heard some of the things you've said in the common room. Everyone has always known about your love triangle. We all know you don't think the less attractive girl should get the guy. That is what bothers you about the Ashley and Ben situation. It's not because you're in love with him that you're angry, it's because Ashley won."

"Exactly," Keith said. "One of these days you're going to realize that it's not Ben you want, but someone else. So can we please stop talking about this? I don't feel right bad-mouthing them but I don't like being harsh with you either. Please don't make us choose sides Ellen. We're your friends and we are friends with them."

I moved on, but I was angry. She was going to go through the whole common room by this point. I wouldn't be surprised if she tried talking to the seventh years of the fifth years. Perhaps she would even try and get Lindsay and the other Ravenclaw girls on her side. I clenched my teeth as I moved on. I entered our compartment. My friends had been talking moments before, but the moment I walked in they all stopped. If I hadn't been so annoyed with Ellen, I probably would have found this suspicious.

"What's wrong with you?" Ashley asked me after I had sat down.

My mood must have shown on my face. Everyone was now looking at me curiously.

"Ellen," I answered and automatically everyone looked understanding. "She's sitting with Dan and Keith and complaining about us. I walked past their compartment. Dan and Keith sound like they are trying to defend us though. Is she really going to keep bad mouthing us to everyone? She was even bad mouthing Jess, Anne and Erica and they aren't even involved in this."

"She tried that with us already," Stan told me. "She knows I don't want anything to do with her. We haven't really spoken since our break up. She knows how I feel about the Ben situation, so I don't know why she would start complaining to me about it."

"Geez, what is it about you mate?" Jared asked me. "Why do girls get so bloody obsessed with you? Tara wanted to feed you a love potion; we all know what Melanie did in second year but there are plenty of others. Girls have always wanted something more with me, but I can only think of a couple who actually got obsessed. Melanie never did, and I kind of worried she would."

"I'm not defending what Melanie did in second year, but she has grown up since then," Michael spoke up. "She's had other boyfriends besides Ben, and she never did anything like that again."

"True, but still I don't see why you always have them so obsessed. When you and Ashley started to date last year she pretty much had to look over her shoulder to make sure none of them hexed her, and I've heard that about the other girls he dated," Jared said.

"I don't know," I said still irritated, it was something I'd been wondering myself for years, "but I am sick of it. I really am. Most of these girls I've been rude to if they don't take the hint. I can't tell you how many times I've told Tara that nothing will ever happen with us, and she needs to move on. I've been downright brutal with her. I've had to be with Ellen too, but she just doesn't get it. Ellen used to complain about girls who went after boys in relationships and she is doing the same. I remember how angry she'd get about the ones who wanted you," I added to Stan.

"Dating Ellen wasn't that easy either," Stan said. "I felt like a target the entire time we were together. It's ridiculous how some people get when they want someone."

"Jolene got that as well when she was dating me," Jared said. "But I don't think she had it as bad as some do, but I know that plenty of girls want me so they can change me. Just think of it this way, if those girls react that way when you have a girlfriend it means you dodged a bullet. Most are psycho."

"Ellen isn't psycho though," Ashley said quickly. I knew she'd always want to defend her. I knew Ellen wasn't psycho either, even if she was behaving that way at the moment.

"Maybe not, but she is certainly acting that way now," Hank said as if reading my mind. "I even sensed it when I was with her, and that was in second year. She got angry with me all the time for looking at other girls, but I could sense she wanted Ben even then. She was a hypocrite when it came to that. I ignored it, but I could see it."

"She's making it so that other guys aren't going to want to date her," Stan said. "As I said, I felt like a target when I was with her but as soon as people found out about her obsession with Ben, not too many want her now. She's never been single for this long has she?"

"No she hasn't," Ashley said.

It was true. Ever since second year, Ellen always had someone. Unless she had a secret boyfriend, she had been single since Stan had dumped her almost a year ago. I wanted her to meet someone who would take her mind off of me. Perhaps this would be the year that she would do it. She knew that both neither Ashley nor I would tolerate it, and none of us were even speaking to her. She'd have to branch out eventually.

Surprisingly, Timmy was sorted into Hufflepuff. I would have expected him to be a Gryffindor or even a Ravenclaw. I knew from Ellen's complaints that he did really well in school, and he'd been top of his year in his primary school. I also thought he was just a brave kid. He seemed to be the type of person who would be the first to fight in a battle. He had no problems with fighting with his stubborn sister, or even with his parents.

I remembered when he was about eight years old, he'd told me off for looking at his sister. Back then he hadn't realized that I'd had no interest in her whatsoever. I'd just noticed her in a bikini and it had made Timmy very angry. I figured if an eight year old kid could stand up to a teenaged boy, who was twice his size, he had to be a very brave kid.

He was very loyal however and he was obviously a hard-worker. At the sorting, he appeared to make friends right away as well. He had no problem with joking around with the kids who sat around him. I knew Ellen was worried that he'd follow her around, but I didn't believe she had anything to worry when it came to that.

That night, I laid awake thinking about Ashley. I wanted her with me. I felt bad about what had happened on the train. She was right. I should never have threatened her. I wasn't sure what had come over me. It was the first thing I could think of to make sure that she didn't talk to Ellen. I should have communicated that a lot better however. She had every reason to be upset with me, even if she'd done stupid and impulsive things in the past. Ellen would think that she was in the right, and we were in the wrong if Ashley apologized.

I started to fall asleep with all this on my mind when Ashley opened the curtains and crawled in with me. Did she somehow know what I wanted her with me?

"Hey babe," I muttered sleepily. "I was just thinking about you."

"I couldn't sleep," she told me. "Ellen called me a slag."

"Don't pay any attention to her," I replied. "She's just trying to hurt you."

With Ashley in my arms, it was easier for me to fall asleep quickly that night.

Sixth year started off as expected. We couldn't go anywhere right away. While every other year took off for their first classes, we had to sit and wait for Professor Sprout to confirm our classes. Some people took a while longer than others. There were certain people who had failed their OWLs but they wanted to continue into the sixth year anyway. Others had passed their OWLs but they didn't have the grades to continue.

Ashley was cleared for every class she wanted to take and I was annoyed to hear that she was keeping Divination. I was so sure that I'd convinced her to drop it. Her class load was going to be too much for her that year. I'd always agreed to help her out, and I loved her but I resented her decisions once again. It was going to have to be me who was going to have watch out and make sure she didn't fail. She could have been like most people, and taken the core classes but she had to stick with the dumb ones as well. I let out a sigh and shook my head. If she noticed, she ignored me. She didn't get up once Professor Sprout cleared her, she stayed where she was. I was assuming she was waiting for me.

I still had to wait for people to argue about their classes, but eventually it was my turn. Professor Sprout nodded approvingly for all my classes as well.

"Of course, I was pleased with your results Ben," she told me. "I knew you'd do well. Professor Vector was happy to hear how well you did in Arithmancy."

"But I only got an E," I said.

"An E in Arithmancy is still impressive," she told me. "It is one of the most complicated classes that we have to offer here at Hogwarts. I'm sure we'll see great things from you in the next two years."

She moved on to the next person. I noticed most people who had been cleared hadn't moved, not even Ashley. I noticed that her eyes were on Ellen. I realized that she was curious about how things would go with her, and in spite of myself, I couldn't help but wonder as well. So I didn't move either. It took a while longer but eventually she stopped beside Ellen.

"Now Ms. Perenge, I was very disappointed in your OWLs. I know you can do better," she said.

"I'm fine with the classes I want to take," Ellen said looking defiant. "I can take Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Herbology. I want to be a professional Quidditch player."

"I'm afraid you need at least five classes to stay on the team," Professor Sprout told her. "I've told you this already. I told you last year during your careers consultation-"

"But I don't see why!" Ellen exclaimed.

Now I knew exactly why it had been me who'd received the badge and not her. With failing most of her OWLs, she would have to take some fifth-year classes as well. It seemed that I was going to be stuck with the badge after all. All I wanted to do was play Quidditch for fun. I did not want to be a captain. I didn't want that responsibility. I didn't care if it seemed selfish since most people would give anything to have it, I for one didn't want it.

"Ms. Perenge, I am sorry but school work comes before any extracurricular activities. You know that. It's not just Quidditch but any clubs you participate in at Hogwarts. It's required for NEWT level that you have at least five classes if you want to remain on any team. My recommendation to you is that you take OWLs in Potions and Transfiguration as well."

"I don't want to go through all that again though," Ellen whined. "Last year was so stressful."

"Either you pick two or more classes or you won't be able to rejoin the team," Professor Sprout told her.

"I'm not taking Transfiguration again," Ellen insisted. "I'll take Potions again; I don't mind Potions at all. That's it. I don't want any other class. Four should be enough."

"You need one more my dear, if you don't want Transfiguration again then I can't convince you but you must pick another one," Professor Sprout replied.

"So this is why you chose Ben as captain instead of me!" Ellen retorted. I wondered how she had to know, but then I figured it must have been obvious that it would be me. We were the two oldest on the team. "I'm the better Quidditch player, and yet you chose him as team captain! You know that it would look better for me if I get it since I actually want to go on professionally," she glared at me. "But of course he got it, he always gets what he wants!"

I raised my eyebrows at her. What was that supposed to mean? Was that a dig at my family because we had money or what? I knew it bothered my friends, even Ashley that my family had money. Was she implying that I was somehow spoiled? Everything else I had in life I worked for, even for the badge that I didn't want. I wasn't as good as she was, but I wasn't mediocre either. I'd scored many goals for our team. I just didn't have the same passion that she had for it.

"Ms. Perenge, we will discuss this later. Right now I want you to think about the other class you want to take. In the meantime, I am going to finish with everyone else," Professor Sprout told her. "You can remain behind."

"I'm taking Care of Magical Creatures then," she said quickly. "Those are the five classes I want to take."

"That's fine my dear, but I still want you to remain behind while I finish making everyone else's schedules," she eyed the rest of us. "Those who have their new schedules can go on now."

Everyone stood up at once. Most of us had Charms first. I knew Ashley was pleased about this. I noticed her looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I wondered if she wanted to talk about what had just happened. However, as soon as we reached the Great Hall, she glared at me with annoyance. I couldn't understand what I could have done between the time we'd gotten up and now.

"Since when are you captain?" Ashley demanded. "And how did she know and I didn't?"

I understood her anger now. It wasn't the fact that I hadn't mentioned it. She thought that I'd talked to Ellen about it before her.

"I forgot to tell you," I told her honestly. I really had. Ever since my conversation with Barry, I'd put it out of mind until that day. "So much happened over the summer, but I was made captain in August. I got the badge when we got our Hogwarts letters. I didn't tell Ellen, I'm sure she just assumed. She and I are the oldest on the team now, and we've been on it the longest. It had to go to one of us. I'm sure she would have been first choice if she'd done better on her OWLs. I didn't really want it, you see. If she stops all this nonsense and if it's okay with Professor Sprout, I may let her have it."

"She's very angry isn't she?" Sarah asked. "I haven't seen her so angry before, not even after her parents divorced. Are you sure there isn't more to it than the fact that she wants you, Ben?"

"There has to be more to it than that," Ashley spoke up. "Maybe she's stressed about her OWL grades, or maybe something more is going on with her parents. I know her father has been dating some muggle woman. Maybe it has something to do with that. Ellen only reacts this way when something is really bothering her. As upset as she is about Ben; there has to be more to it."

"You know, I didn't even think of that," Michael added. "I bet it has everything to do with his her father's new girlfriend. Didn't she tell you? He invited her to move in. She has two small children of her own."

I didn't know about that but I wasn't sure why she would tell me that. It suddenly did all make sense though. I was sure part of was because of me, but most of it was likely the new girlfriend. Ellen had reacted the same way when her parents had divorced. For some reason, when things went wrong in her life, she took it out on me. Since she was already bothered by our relationship, she'd used that as an excuse to blame me but she hadn't meant any of it. With this new information, I could forgive her if she apologized to us. Depending on when this new woman moved in with her father, it could have been the reason for why she didn't do well on her OWLs. She couldn't take it out on her father since he all but abandoned his kids, so I was the next best thing. I wondered if Ashley knew.

However, she spoke up moments later.

"No, she didn't mention anything about that. I can see why that would bother her. Ever since the divorce, she and Timmy have lived with her mother more than they have with him. Timmy was supposed to go to his house every other weekend but it was probably just once a month."

"She's almost as bad as you are mate," Jared said to Michael. "You two probably would make a good couple if she would just see it."

I wasn't so sure if I agreed with that one. They had a few things in common but I believed there would be a personality clash. They got along well enough, but I could see them being one of those couples who fought a lot. They wouldn't last too long. I wasn't sure who would be good for her. She could be very hot headed. It was how I knew we wouldn't last either. She was so sure we were the next Ron and Hermione Weasley, but we weren't.

I soon found out that my brother and sisters were right. The workload was a lot less, but the classes were a lot more complicated. We were now learning how to do spells non-verbally. My siblings had told me this, but I hadn't given it much thought. Now I was regretting the fact that I hadn't at least practiced when I found the time to. We were all learning first-year spells again, but we had to do it without saying a word. No one was able to do this, and I felt let down that I couldn't do even lumos without saying a word.

In Potions, we found that there were some already made in the front of the class. One of the potions we sat near gave off different scents to me. I could smell vanilla, oranges (they always reminded me of Christmas morning) the smell a new book gives off and my mothers chicken. Once I realized that it was all my favourite scents, I realized exactly what it was. It was Amortentia. It was the most powerful love potion ever made. The vanilla came from Ashley because it was her favourite scent. Usually if you smell someone in Amortentia, it meant it was the real thing.

Professor Slughorn started us off by having us guess each potion. Once we did this, he told us what the days lesson was. We had to make Draught of Living Death and the person who made the best potion would win the Felix Felicis. I never wanted to win anything more in my life. Felix Felicis was luck potion. It made a person lucky. I sat up straighter as I read through my book. As much as I loved my girlfriend, she was on her own that day.

She didn't seem to notice I was ignoring her, however. She seemed as determined as me, and everyone else in the classroom. For once it was actually a very quiet lesson. Usually, people talked amongst themselves.

By the end of the class, I felt that my potion could be the winner. It wasn't perfect but it had to be closer than most of the people.

"Now let's see who brewed the best potion," Professor Slughorn said as he made his way through the classroom.

I felt excited as he came over to look into my cauldron. Unfortunately he wasn't impressed.

"Mr. Hoofer, I expected better," he told me. "I thought for sure- but that's fine," and he moved onto Ashley. "Ms. Fun-" he began, and I saw her shake her head. I knew she was annoyed that even after all these years, he still didn't know her name. "You forgot to put in the liquid from the Sopophorous Bean."

He moved on to Denver, Morgan and Claire.

"Ah Mr. Halfern," Slughorn announced happily. "Now this is a perfect potion. It's very rare to see someone do so well on their first try. I haven't see a potion this well made since Harry Potter was in his sixth year. Very well done indeed."

Denver brewed the best potion? I knew potions was his favourite class, but it still irritated me. I would have wanted anyone but him. I even would have been happy for Tara over him. It seemed Jared shared my sentiments about this situation.

"Of course it had to be that guy," he said angrily. "Of all the bloody people to win it, it had to be him."

"He is one of the best in our year," Ashley pointed out.

"What would you have used it for?" Michael snickered to Jared. "To get with more girls?"

"I don't need a luck potion for that. There hasn't been one girl I really wanted who I couldn't get," he replied sounding quite arrogant. However, I actually believed him. He most certainly did have a way with girls.

"Not Ellen," Michael said.

"I've been with Ellen, more than once," Jared responded.

Michael stopped in tracks but Ashley and I did as well. I was shocked by that one. Well, it wasn't that I was so much as shocked. I could actually believe it could happen. I just didn't think it had quite yet. Jared had been with Jolene for most of fifth-year and Stan was his best friend. It wasn't the same as when Stan had gone for her after she and Hank had dated.

"When did that happen?" Ashley asked the question that I knew both Michael and I were wondering as well.

"No need to be jealous, you know if you weren't with Ben-" Jared told her with a smirk.

"Of course I'm not jealous," she interrupted. "I'm just surprised; I mean she never told me. But then again, she hasn't confided in me about much in a long time."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Michael said angrily. "You know how long I've wanted to get with her."

"The first time was shortly after Jolene had dumped me. She'd come to me because she was upset still about Ashley and Ben. After that, she came to me often. Your little Ellen has slept with a lot of different people, you just don't know it. She even came over to my place quite a few times in the summer," Jared answered.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Michael shouted.

I was upset as well, but not with Jared. It wasn't surprising but I didn't like the way Ellen was behaving. She just seemed to have given up completely. She let herself fail, she was starting to drink too much, I knew she smoked weed a lot, considering she'd lost weight again; she was obviously not eating enough, and she was taking her problems out on us.

"Why would I?" Jared asked him. "I knew you'd react this way. Calm down mate," and he looked at me. My face must have shown my annoyance because he added: "Don't tell me you're jealous too. You had your chance with her."

"Of course not! Look I might not be happy with her at the moment but I hate the road she's been going down lately. She failed most of her OWLs, she is sleeping around, and she is treating us all like crap. I've been friends with her for five years. I don't like what has been going on with her lately. I hope she has a turn around soon," I told him.

"So who haven't you slept with in our year?" Ashley asked Jared as we started walking again. "I mean seriously, have you been with every Hufflepuff girl?"

"Nope, I haven't been with Anne, Erica or Sarah and I doubt they would have me," he answered. "I will never sleep with Tara or Maisie. There are plenty of others I haven't that I would like to, though."

I shook my head but I felt amused with him now. He just said it all so casually too. "Jared, are you trying to break a record before you leave Hogwarts?" I asked him.

"Nope, but I want sex without commitment and there are plenty of girls who are willing. Someday I'll have to settle down and I'll probably want to. Why not enjoy myself before then? I'm still young. I'm not someone who is practically married at seventeen and I don't plan to be," he replied. "If you were single I'm sure you'd do the same thing. I know you did before you got with Ashley."

My number was nowhere near as high as his, but he had a point. If we hadn't gotten together, I would have just had sex without commitment. I'd already decided that I wouldn't have another girl until I got over her.

"I just don't get what is so wrong with me," Michael suddenly complained. "Most girls think I am handsome. I know they do, so why can't Ellen see that?"

"You're like a brother to her," Ashley said. "It's nothing about you. Besides, I think it's time you get over her and Anne. She needs to get over Ben, and you need to get over her. If you'd be willing to give them a chance, I know of plenty of girls who'd be interested. Nicole Letson from Gryffindor for one, and she is a very nice girl. She's been asking me about you. Why don't you ask her to Hogsmeade or if Slughorn has a party, ask her to that."

"Really?" Michael asked interestedly. "Nicole? I might just do that."

"Good, now let's get going, I'm hungry," she said.

I did have to wonder if he would get over her. He needed someone but I didn't know who. We'd believed Sarah was the one for him, but that hadn't worked out. Perhaps Nicole would be the girl for him. I couldn't really see her getting jealous about Ellen with him.

Even though the work was more advanced that year, I didn't feel envious of the fifth-years. One evening, Sam and I met up in the library for a rare study session. I'd been feeling a bit stressed about how advanced Arithmancy seemed until I saw his pile of books. Memories of fifth-year automatically pushed away any stressful thoughts that I was having. I didn't envy him at all. I'd take non-verbal spells anyway over what he had to do.

"I wish I would have believed you when you'd told me how hard fifth-year is," he told me. "I was up late last night, and I was up early today. I don't think I can do this."

"You have to," I told him. "Believe me, I get how hard it is but the OWLs are so important."

"I understand the review parts," Sam told me. "What I don't get is this workload. The teachers won't determine if we pass this year. It's all about how well we do on the OWLs. I've always been able to slack off and then pass the exams. I'm sure I could ignore all of this, and still pass everything. The teachers can mark me T all year, but it's how we do later on that matters."

In a way, I could see his point even if I didn't agree with it.

"How are you in Ravenclaw?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. The hat put me there. It didn't give me any other choices. It must have known what it was doing. It hasn't been wrong before."

"It put Peter Pettigrew in Gryffindor," I said to him. "How was he brave? He was a coward."

"I'm not defending him. The man deserved anything he got for betraying Lily and James, however, he was brave when you think about it. He was able to fool both Voldemort-" I flinched when he said the name. I preferred you-know-who even after all this time. "Oh come on Benny. He's been dead for years now. It's not the name we should fear, but his actions and those who might try and copy them. I still think it's stupid that they told everyone about the Horcruxes. What if other people try that? Anyways, he fooled VOLDEMORT and the Order of the Phoenix. He had to have some braveness in him. He was daring and he had some nerve to do what he did to betray his friends. I know some Slytherin's who are better people than some of the Gryffindors. Being sorted into a certain house does not define you. I thought you knew that given that you're the only Hoofer in Hufflepuff."

"I know that, but I just don't believe the hat has always been right," I said. "Ellen is a good example of that one. She shouldn't be in Hufflepuff. She should have been in Slytherin."

"How do you figure that one? I agree with you that what she did recently is disgusting, but you can't have been friends with her for five years if you think that. Besides, I thought you had Slytherin friends."

"I don't mean that in a bad way, I've even thought that when we aren't fighting," and I explained my reasoning to him.

"Okay fair enough, but she's always been loyal to you anyway. Other than recently, she remained loyal to you and Ashley even though you're dating. You know she hates it, but she never ended your friendship... and I don't believe your friendship is over now. I'm sure eventually the four of you will make it up," he told me.

"Ashley and I aren't not betraying her Sam. She even pushed us together," I told him.

"I know that Ben. That's not what I meant at all. I still believe you two made the right decision. Put yourself in her shoes however. What if someone like Michael or even me dated Ashley. You would hate it, but you wouldn't stop being friends with Michael over it, and we've had our differences but you wouldn't disown me. Ellen remained loyal to you, until recently that is, even though you broke her heart. She had to see the two of you together everyday, but she stayed your friend despite that," he explained. "I think that's loyalty right there."

"I suppose so, although she wasn't very loyal this summer when she told me to dump Ashley for her," I reminded him.

"Everyone has their moments Ben," Sam told me. "I still stand by my original point however. Besides, the hat isn't psychic. It sorts you were it thinks you'd do best in. The hat couldn't have known about Peter Pettigrew would turn out when he was eleven. When I was in first year, I lived up to the Ravenclaw traits. It was only recently that I am just fed up with it all."

"What do mean?" I asked. "What are you fed up with?"

"Just the way this school works. It's just nothing but school work," Sam told me.

"Well it is a school," I reminded him.

"I know that, but it wasn't this way in the first and second years, and not even in the third year. It started out this way last year and I already know what to expect this year. We're here to learn of course, but learning should require piling up the school work to the point that we're stressed. There has to be another approach to it," he told me. "I don't understand how all this-" and he waved his hand at his homework pile, "-is supposed to help prepare us for OWLs."

"Ellen and Michael said the same thing last year," I told him. "I do agree in a way, but we can't do much about it. You just have to be careful. You don't want to get all T's on your exams."

"I don't plan to pull the Ellen attitude," Sam said with a grin.

"You know I'm surprised you haven't said anything about Ashley," I said to him. "Usually you have some kind of opinion on my girlfriends. It's why we got in that fight in my fourth year."

"I really have no issues with her," he said with a shrug. "We've met a few times but she seems nice enough. Besides, I could tell since your second year that you wanted her," and then he sat up straighter and smirked at me. "In fact, this is exactly what I was talking about in your second year."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I know now that Melanie was all wrong for me."

"Not that. I remember helping you practice for Quidditch try-outs. Afterwards, we had a certain conversation. Do you remember that?"

I knew what he was talking about now. We'd been walking back to the castle. He'd told me that he would go for Ashley because she was cute enough. At the time I hadn't realized my feelings for her, but I'd felt more annoyed with him when he mentioned going for her than I had been when he'd wanted Ellen.

Sam had smirked at me. "Whatever. You're an idiot, and someday you're going to realize it. I might be only eleven but I know more than you do."

"What's that supposed to mean," I had asked him. What could be possibly know more than I had?

We'd reached the castle by that point.

"I'll tell you why someday," Sam had said. "For now, good luck with your trials tomorrow. I'll come watch if I can."

"You know what I'm talking about, right?" Sam pressed.

"I think so. You called me an idiot and you said you'd tell me why I was an idiot someday," I answered. "So what's the big secret?"

"Ashley," he said laughing. "I knew back then that you were in love with her. I knew it the day when I first met Melanie. You confirmed it for me when you got defensive about her that day. You didn't care when I talked about Ellen, but you flatly told me no when I said I'd date Ashley. It only took you three years later to realize it."

"Two," I told him. "We were fighting by that point, but I realized it in my fourth year how I felt about her. I just couldn't tell her and then she ended up with Denver. She told me at the beginning of fifth-year that she wanted me."

"So Benny couldn't make a move," Sam said laughing and then he grew serious. "That's actually the only thing I don't like about her. Why is she still hanging out with her ex-boyfriend if she is with you? I can't see her being the cheating type, but it seems odd to me."

"Because she realized she liked him more as a friend than as a boyfriend," I explained. "She dumped him for me but they're still friends. The only reason she didn't get over him after second-year was because she'd felt that she had no closer. Once she realized it was me she wanted, she couldn't be with him anymore."

"I think I'd have a hard time dating a girl who always hung out with her ex," Sam said. "But if you're fine with it I guess that's all that matters. Other than that I like her, and I haven't seen you this happy in years. I think you and her will be another Barry and Tasha. Why isn't she with you anyway?"

"She wanted to study in the common room," I answered. "I'm working on Arithmancy and she isn't. Besides, I said I'd study with you today. Everyone is acting oddly anyway. I think they're planning a birthday party for me. I figure I might as well give them the peace and quiet to do it."

"Why do you think that?" Sam asked. "Why would they?"

"Well it's Ashley who is behind it," I answered. "She's likely recruiting the Hufflepuff's to help out. I've given her a big birthday party the last two years, and since it's my seventeenth, I think she wants me to have a good one. She kind of seemed secretive on the train, and even more so now. Whenever I approach some of them, they stop talking automatically. Michael hid a list of something away from me last night."

"Too bad it will probably just be the Hufflepuff's, I wouldn't mind going. I am your cousin after all," he said.

"Maybe it will involve everyone," I said. "You never know."

"How would they pull that one off?" Sam asked. "Where would a group of people from all four houses be able to meet up?"

"Well in our first-year, we had a party for Michael in a classroom. We had to get permission from Professor Sprout. I have a feeling they'll do the same thing," I said. "I saw something about fireworks on the list."

"Well send me a message if they do," Sam told me. "I want to be there too for it. We always said we'd celebrate our seventeeth birthdays together."

"If they do I will," I told him.

My suspicions about the party grew even more as the days went on. It was obvious that people were talking about me. They would always look around to see if I was there, and then they'd talk in whispers. Anytime I approached the boys, they would stop what they were saying automatically. Michael even accidentally revealed something one day close to the end of September even though I didn't believe he realized it.

We were complaining about how complicated Transfiguration was that year.

"We haven't had a good Hufflepuff party yet this year," I said to him. "We should plan one soon. We need a break from all this school work. We took more breaks last year than we have so far this year."

"We will at the end of the month," Michael said and then he continued on about how hard Transfiguration was. I smirked but I decided not to point it out to him. Michael had always been the type to blurt.

I did wonder exactly what they were planning for me. I knew so far that it was the end of the month and that there would be fireworks. That wasn't much to go on really. I knew Ashley wanted to it to be a surprise and I didn't want to ruin that for her.

The first month went by quickly however. There was so much going on between prefect duties, school work and my responsibility of being a captain. I hated it. I had to hold try-outs (which went surprisingly well) I had to plan practices and I had to decide how they were going to fly. This was things that Ellen should have been doing, and at the beginning of the month, she'd made her thoughts known when it came to that. After the first couple of weeks she just kept her opinions to herself, but she glared at me. By the end of the month however, she just did as she was told. She refused to even look at me. She seemed to accept that this was how things were.

On the last Saturday of the month, I received a letter. It was odd because no one ever used owls to write me anymore. Anyone who wanted to contact me just sent me messages on my parchment. So I was a bit surprised and I couldn't help but wonder who was writing me. I tore open the envelope and pulled out the parchment to see it was from Professor Sprout. For some reason she wanted to meet me about my grades that afternoon. I knew the teachers had these meetings, but usually they were on the weekdays. Also, usually they were in alphabetical order. It was odd that Ashley and Michael hadn't received a letter early on.

"Professor Sprout wants to have a meeting with me this afternoon," I said. "She says she wants to talk over my grades and to talk more about my career as a Healer. Did anyone else get a letter like this?"

I thought noticed people exchange looks and I wondered what that was about.

"I haven't yet, but maybe she's just picking random students," Ashley said.

"I guess so, it's just odd that it's at four in the afternoon on a Saturday," I said with a shrug. "It's fine though, I had some questions I wanted to ask her."

Later on though, I gave it some thought. It was the Saturday before my birthday. Perhaps Ashley had asked her to distract me so that they could set up my party for me. We hadn't done anything the night before, so that only left tonight. I figured as I walked to the Green Houses to meet her that people were going to take advantage of my absence to decorate the common room. I couldn't help but notice that when I looked back that Ashley and Michael were running back to the castle.

Professor Sprout smiled at me when I entered the greenhouse.

"Good afternoon Mr. Hoofer. I hope you are enjoying you're afternoon off," she told me. "I know you have a birthday on Monday, so Happy Birthday. I'm sure you're looking forward to being legal soon. I know all students do."

"Of course," I said. "I've been waiting for this day since Barry turned seventeen."

"And how is Barry doing? I heard he had his first child last summer," she said and I nodded.

"They named her Minnie for Professor McGonagall. I'm kind of surprised that you want to meet today of all days. It's Saturday."

"Yes it is, but I usually schedule some sixth and seventh-year appointments on Saturdays. I wanted to talk to you about your decision last year. You told me that you didn't want to be Head Boy last year. I wanted to know what your stand on that was now," she told me.

"I don't want to be Head Boy next year," I said.

"Well, that's a bit of shame. Not only because I believe you'd do an amazing job but because you could really help out the Head Girl. We haven't decided if she will be yet, but we will be keeping a close eye on her this year. I just want to ask you not to tell her that she is in line for the badge," Professor Sprout said.

"Why who is it?" I asked.

"Ashley," she answered and I was surprised at first but then I was pleased. That would do so much for her self-esteem and it would her with her leadership skills as well.

"That's great," I said enthusiastically. "But even if my girlfriend is the Head Girl. I still don't want to be Head Boy. I have to work hard for my NEWTs so I can be a Healer. I've made my decision about this."

"If that's what you wish, I will ask you again at the end of this year, but I will respect your wishes," she told me. "So about your grades..."

The meeting seemed to take a long time and I almost felt as if she were stalling. Normally these meetings didn't last longer than twenty minutes but this one too much longer. I noticed the daylight fading away which told me I'd been there for over an hour.

"I think that concludes our meeting Mr. Hoofer," she finally said. "Now I know I've kept you here a long time, but I have one more favour to ask of you, and then I'll let you return to your common room."

"What is that?" I asked.

"There is a new plant by the lake which I need help transporting to the greenhouses. I can't use magic since the plant doesn't function well with it. It's a very large plant," she said.

"Sure no problem," I said with a shrug.

I found this a bit odd. Wouldn't she want to keep this plant away from the greenhouses then? If it didn't like magic, it shouldn't be anywhere near Hogwarts in all honestly. I didn't mention this, I just followed her out of the greenhouse. We made our way to the lake. It was getting darker and darker. However, as we got closer, I noticed a large group of people standing by the lake.

"I'm sure you can guess what is going on here," Professor Sprout told me with a smile.

"Yes..." I said slowly.

There was a banner floating above everyone's heads that read: HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY BEN!

As soon as were near the crowd, they all suddenly yelled: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!"

Then I saw a small figure step out of the crowd and I realized it was Ashley.

"Thank you everyone!" She shouted. "As you all know, it's Ben's birthday on Saturday. He is going to be seventeen. I wanted to throw a party for him with all the sixth years and anyone else who is a friend. So we decided to have a lake party for him tonight. So let's give him a night he won't forget!"

Everyone began to sing to me, but I couldn't take my eyes off my girlfriend. I felt so much love and admiration for her. She was not the girl she had been five years ago. She would never have been able to pull something like this off in our first or even third year. She was not someone who could announce something to a crowd this large. She hated presentations. She'd done all this for me. If I didn't know she loved me before, I knew it now.

While people sang, Michael and Stan appeared with a huge cake. It was the biggest cake I'd ever seen in my life. They brought over to me. There was a one and a seven on the cake which I blew out. Once I did this, fireworks went off over the lake. This was a night I would never forget. Even when I was an old man I would never forget my seventeenth birthday party. It was all down to one person. The one person I knew I'd be with when I was an old man.

Ashley had turned to watch the display. I walked over to wrap my arms around her.

"You set this up, didn't you?" I asked her

"Of course I did," she said to me and she turned to wrap her arms around me neck. "I had help though. I asked Michael, Stan, Hank and Jared to help. I asked Professor Sprout to help too. She sent out the invitations, and she set up the meeting with you."

I didn't know how else to express my gratitude except to kiss her. We kissed underneath all the fireworks, and I wished I had a ring to propose to her. I didn't care if I was barely seventeen. I wanted a ring on her finger.

"Time to cut the cake!" Michael shouted. "Line up everyone if you want a piece."

Ashley pulled out of my arms and then with a wave of her wand, the cake seemed to slice itself and pieces of it floated to each person who walked over for some. It was very advanced magic and it was non-verbal. How had she managed to do that when she had trouble with basic spells non-verbally?

"How did you learn to do that?" I demanded. "That's advanced."

"Professor Flitwick has been helping out a lot," she explained. "It took all month, and I didn't even think I'd get it tonight but I'm glad I did. At least, I didn't hit anyone in the face this time."

"Who did you hit in the face?" I asked and laughed.

"Professor Flitwick," she answered.

I laughed harder at that.

"I can't believe I did it so well, though," she said. "I guess I really wanted it to go well tonight."

We both took the remaining pieces of cakes.

"I've been telling you since first-year that all you need is confidence," I told her.

"I know, but still," she said. "Last night I made it explode."

I laughed. "Oh, could you imagine if that giant cake exploded tonight?"

We both laughed even harder. I could imagine our guests covered in cake, and even if that had happened, it would be an amazing night anyway. She'd done so much for me. Someone had turned on a wireless, and I was suddenly surrounded by people. Sam was one of the first people to reach my side.

"Did you know about this?" I demanded as I thought about our talk in the library.

"No, I didn't know until I got the invitation today," he answered. "I guess you were right. I'm just glad that they included me as well."

"It was Ashley who made the list," I said. "I think she invited all the sixth years and anyone I am friends with. If she invited Timmy and his friends, then it only makes sense that she would invite you."

"Ben," a familiar voice said from behind me. I didn't have to turn to know who it was.

When I didn't turn to acknowledge her, Ellen stepped in front of me so that I would see her. She looked very nervous as my eyes fell on her. I had a feeling she was here to apologize.

"Can we talk?" She asked and then added quickly, "If you don't want to right now it's fine. I apologized to Ashley and I wanted to talk to you too. If you want to enjoy your party it's fine. We can talk tomorrow or another-"

"Ellen, we can talk," I said and I grabbed her arm to pull her away from the crowd. We moved closer to the lake.

"Look, I know I was out of line," she told me. "I even knew it when I sent you that message. I was just so emotional, and I do have to admit I was feeling emotional about you and Ashley. I have since the day you two got together. It's just my dad got a new girlfriend and her kids moved into my house and it made things worse. When I got my OWL results, I kind of lost it. I never expected I'd get T's. I was an emotional mess and I took it out on you."

"You know I love her," I said to her. "I'm sure you always have," and Ellen nodded. "And your crush on me has always annoyed me, but the fact that you told me to dump her pissed me off. I can't remember the last time I was that angry. You were actually willing to hurt your best friend to have me. I didn't even care that much you blamed me when you failed your OWLs. It was everything else you'd said."

"I know that, and I even knew when you were writing to me," she said. "In the back of my mind I realized how- well psycho I was being. It was just a horrible summer for me."

"Ellen, you have to get over me," I said to her. "It's Ashley that I love, and I even want to buy her an engagement ring soon."

"I am over you and- wait what, but you're both seventeen. Look, I truly believe you two will still be together after Hogwarts but Ben, you're seventeen," she said.

"I know but I know I am going to marry her," I said and I explained to her my feelings over the summer, and the birth of Minnie.

"Ben, this is something you really need to sit down and think about," Ellen said.

I was surprised not to see any hurt in her face and I thought about what she'd said before she got distracted about my engagement.

"I have thought about it since the day Minnie was born, and this party just confirms it for me. If I had a ring with me right now, I would propose tonight," I said.

"That would be so romantic," Ellen said looking dreamy.

"I can't believe I am discussing this with you, and you're not all upset or anything. You're taking this so well," I said.

"I told you, I am over you," she said.

"How the hell are you over me?" I demanded. "After everything that happened this summer. All the drama that you put Ashley and me through, you're just over me?"

"I am experiencing Deja Vu right now," Ellen said to me with a grin. "I am sure you've seen me with Keith," and I nodded, "well it was him who made me realize it. I think I've been over you for a while but it was losing to Ashley that bothered me. I've never been rejected in my life. I am competitive and for so long I thought I wanted you. I just hated losing. And then I was complaining to Keith and Dan on the train-"

"Yes I heard that," I said with some annoyance.

"And they defended you," Ellen said as if I hadn't interrupted. "Keith and I kept talking and he wanted to be with me. I asked him how he could want to be with me when I wanted you. Everyone knows I was in love with you for years. He told me that he liked me so much he didn't care. It made me realize how foolish I was being. Here was a guy who loved me no matter what, and I was chasing someone who didn't want me. It's when it dawned on me that I didn't even love you. And- well I know it might sound insane since we haven't been together for a month, but I love Keith. There's no doubt in my mind that he is the one. I know for someone logical like you that it's foolish to think-"

"No it's not," I told her. "I knew I loved Ashley the moment we kissed. It's not about the time together or your age, and that's why I know I can propose to her."

"But it seems almost... well, fairy-taleish," Ellen replied. "I know you didn't grow up with muggle fairy tales, but it's only in books that people meet the one and fall in love in less than a week. In the real world, you don't fall in love for a long time. It makes sense for you and Ashley. You two have been in love since first-year. Keith and me don't have the same history that you two have."

"Doesn't matter Ellen," I said. "Let me ask you this. Did you feel this way about Stan at all?"

"No," Ellen said instantly. "And that's not even because of you. I just never felt it with him. He was fun to be with and we got along, but this time it's different. Besides, Slughorn left out the Amortentia from your sixth year lesson. We had our class after you did. I could smell him in it. Everyone knows it's the real deal if you can smell someone in that potion. You could smell Ashley in it right?"

I nodded, "And she could smell me in it," I told her.

Ellen sighed. "Who would have thought we'd all be in love so young. I am sorry Ben. I wish so much I could have realized it sooner. I hate the fact that I couldn't be there for Ashley's birthday in the summer. I regret everything I said to her and you. I hate everything that happened recently. I know I need to learn to control my anger, and I need to learn to take it out on the right people. You didn't deserve anything that I put you through."

"You're already forgiven," I told her and I pulled her into a hug. Ellen hugged me back tightly.

She pulled back.

"I didn't think it would be too hard to talk to Ashley or even Michael again but I was terrified that I'd ruined everything with you. I've wanted to apologize all month," she told me.

"Well I can tell you're sincere and I'm not ready to end a five-year friendship," I said.

"Ashley said the same thing you know," she said.

"Where is Ashley?" I asked as I looked around the crowd.

"I don't know. She told me to come talk to you, so maybe she's with the others," Ellen said. "I can't believe she invited my brother here. I know she is nice and all, but I am not ready for him to be at the same parties as me."

"I'm sure he won't bother you, he has his own friends," I said.

"I know but I am sixteen and he is eleven," Ellen said. "It's just odd but I have a feeling she's going to invite him like she does Alana and her friends. I guess I'll have to get used to it even if I absolutely hate it. I'm not going to tell her not to. I'll just have to make it clear that he stays away from me. It's just we drink too, and he doesn't need to be."

I laughed and I pulled Ellen to where I could see the sixth year Hufflepuff's. "I'm going to go look for Ashley. You really shouldn't stress about that."

I went looking through the crowd for her. I found her on her own, walking back to the crowd. I wondered what she'd been doing.

"There you are," I said and I wrapped an arm around her. I led her over to where the sixth years were. "Where have you been?"

"I noticed that one of Timmy's friends was off on her own," Ashley said. "One of his friends was a little bitch, and so I took her to meet Alana, Rory and Derek. I think it's best if she has an older student who is a mentor, but someone closer to her age. Alana is thirteen and to an eleven that's cool. She looks so happy to be with the third years right now."

She pointed over to where the three third years were standing with a smaller girl. They were laughing together. I didn't know how it was possible to love her more, but I did.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" I asked.

"You have, but I never get enough of hearing it," Ashley said.

"I just can't believe you pulled all this off. I have to admit, I overheard things. I knew you were doing something for my birthday, but not something like this. I wouldn't have thought something like this was possible," I told her.

"It was Stan's idea to do it by the lake, but Professor Sprout gave me the idea. She told me that someone had a party for their friends seventeenth. They had a big dance with all the sixth and seventh years together. I thought having all the sixth years here would be better. I hope you don't mind that people you hate are here."

"Sweetheart, you pulled off this huge party for me," I answered. "Of course I don't mind, besides I get why you did it. Certain people would have been upset to be left out of this, even if they didn't like me. They'd be jealous to see most of the sixth years down here and they couldn't come."

"I wanted to give you a party you'd never forget," she replied.

She had accomplished that. I knew when I was dying on my death bed I would remember this day. It would be a memory I could use to produce a patronus with.

After a long discussion with Professor Sprout, I managed to convince her to let Ellen be the Quidditch captain. At first she hadn't been happy about it, but after a while she gave in. We both knew that Ellen was the better Quidditch player, and she even acknowledged that the scouts had been watching her since her second-year. It would look better for her.

So after our talk, I went out to the lake where I knew Ashley and Michael were distracting her. They both knew what I was doing. It was my belated birthday present to her. Ever since the party, things were back to normal between us. Well, not exactly normal but it was better. Anyone could see that she was in love with Keith. She only had eyes for him. When we hung out together now, she no longer gave me the puppy dog eyes, which I was grateful for.

Once I took a seat, Ashley looked at me and asked: "Where were you?"

She knew exactly where I'd been, but she was putting up an act for Ellen. Michael grinned knowingly while Ellen seemed distracted.

"I had to talk to Professor Sprout about something important," I told her.

"Were you trying to get more homework?" Ellen teased grinning at me.

"Nope," I answered but happily. I kind of missed her teasing. "I never did give you a birthday gift. It's almost two months too late, but I'm sure you'll be happy with it either way."

"It's the thought that counts," Ellen told me. "Don't tell me you're throwing a surprise party for me too? As neat as it sounds, I think it might be a bit of an overkill with it being so soon after yours, and besides I want a big one for my seventeenth, not my sixteenth."

"It's not a surprise party," I spoke up. "Although I'm sure somehow that's going to be tradition now. I've already heard people talking about doing one. Maisie was telling Don and Xavier that she wanted one for hers."

"It's going to get boring quite quickly won't it?" Michael asked. "But feel free to do it for me too you know."

"We're all getting big parties for our seventeenths," I said feeling impatient with their discussion. "This isn't about a party, though," and I held my hand out to drop the captains badge in front of her.

"This is the captains badge," Ellen said as she picked it up.

"You're officially the captain of the Quidditch team," I explained. "I never wanted it, and I think you deserve it more than me. I have enough to do with prefect duties and I have to get top marks. It matters more than it did before. It used to be because I wanted to beat Tara, but Healers have to do really well. All of my efforts have to go into doing well enough to be accepted into the program in three years."

"You're going to have your hands full next year when you have to do Head duties, though," Ashley said.

"I'm not going to be Head Boy next year," I informed her.

I almost wanted to tell her what Professor Sprout had told me, but I'd promised I wouldn't.

"Of come on," Michael interrupted, "we all know you're going to be Head Boy next year."

"No, I won't be," I insisted. "I already told Professor Sprout I don't want to be one."

"But that's been your dream since Barry got his badge," Ellen said as she looked up from the captains badge she had been admiring. "In fact, it's been your dream to be Captain, Prefect and Head Boy. I can't accept this."

She was right about that, but it had been a childish dream. There were things that were more important to me now then when I was twelve years old.

"Yes you can," I told her. "It's already arranged. You and I both know you're the better captain. So don't argue please. It's my gift to you. The dreams you have when you're a kid can change. I'm sure being prefect and being head boy would look good for my application to be a Healer, but they're going to care more about my NEWT grades. I've researched a lot about it you know. In order to be a Healer, you have to get top NEWTs. So that's what I need to do. As much as I would like to have been Head Boy, it's going to take too much time away from my studies. Being Prefect for three years will be enough."

"Thanks so much Ben," Ellen said. "It really means a lot, and it's going to help so much for when I play professionally."

"That's why I wanted you to have it," I said.

"There's something I don't understand though," Ellen said. "You said you'd be accepted to the Healer program in three years. Why do you have to wait a year?"

"You haven't told them yet?" I asked looking over at Ashley who shook her head.

"I thought it was something we'd tell them together," she answered.

I was surprised she hadn't at least told Michael. I knew she was looking forward to taking at least a year off, and I knew she wanted them to come with us.

"Tell us what?" Michael asked.

"We're taking a year off to travel," I answered.

Ellen and Michael just stared at us with shock. To them it was shocking that I would even consider this. In the end, they seemed to agree. Michael ended up bringing it up to me later when it was just the two of us.

"So do you actually want to travel, or are you just doing it to make Ashley happy?" Michael asked me.

"A year off would be nice," I answered him. "In February I was jealous of Barry and Tasha because they could just take off to Cuba. I love Hogwarts, but I can't wait for my freedom. Once I am a Healer, I won't have that kind of freedom. So I don't mind taking some time off before I start my training. It was Ashley's idea, but I want to do it too. Healer training will always be there, but our chances to travel won't be. I still think you and Ellen should come as well."

Michael gave a small shrug. "Like I said I'll think about it. You know, I have to say, I am surprised that you forgave Ellen so quick. You were so angry with her."

"She apologized to both Ashley and me," I told him. "As angry as I was, I didn't want to end our friendship. You can tell that she is sorry for everything that she said and did. She hasn't told me much, but she brought up the new girlfriend in her fathers life."

"She told me that too," Michael said. "I was ready to forgive her, but then again she didn't really do anything to me in this. She was angry with me but now she is saying that I did the right thing."

I looked at him with surprise. "Really? Somehow I don't believe that. She's my friend but I still think she can be a coward. I just don't think she wanted Ashley to ever find that out, and you gave her an out. She's apologized and everything but even now I don't believe she would have told her the truth."

"Well even without me, it would have come out eventually," Michael said. "You would have said something if I hadn't. I can't see you putting up with her-"

"Exactly," I said. "She was angry that you told, and she would have been with me, but it gave her an out. Of course now we've worked everything out. I can tell she regrets writing to me that day. Besides, she is over me now. You can tell from the way she looks at Keith."

"I don't know about that one," Michael muttered.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Was she still secretly staring at me? Was she just putting a really good act around Ashley and me? Did she tell Michael something? I truly hoped that she was over me. I knew she wasn't going to say anything to me or Ashley anymore, but I still just wanted her to get over me.

"She loved you for years, and now she suddenly loves Keith? It just seems odd to me," he replied. "She probably just says she is over you so that you and Ashley would forgive her. The two of them barely talked in the five years we've been here. How can she just love him. They've been together for a month."

"Because she didn't actually love me," I explained and I told him what she'd said to me. "When I told her that I wished I could propose to Ashley that night, she didn't get jealous. She got excited about it"

"Propose? You're seventeen Ben," Michael said. "I swear everyone is moving way too quickly. You're not planning to marry right outside of Hogwarts are you?"

"Not right after Hogwarts. I don't even know when I plan to propose, I just know I will be," I told him. "Someday I am going to let you and Ellen help me pick out the ring. I am thinking during a Hogsmeade visit when she is busy."

Michael just stared at me. He didn't say a word. He shook his head.

"I'll help," he finally said. "I disagree with it, but I'll help you. You can't be serious about proposing at seventeen. You two can't even communicate properly. How do you expect to get married?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"You had to threaten her on the train to get her to do what you wanted," Michael answered. "I agreed with you that she needed to stay away from Ellen, but you actually threatened her. You need to work on some of your control issues before you consider marrying someone."

I glared at him but Michael just gave a shrug.

"Hey, I am just stating the truth Ben. You've done the same with Ellen, Ashley and me, and now I am doing the same with you. You can't stand it when things aren't in your control, and you felt the need to threaten her to make sure she didn't talk to Ellen. She wasn't even planning to talk to her anyway, but just to be sure of it, you threatened her," Michael told me. "I'm just trying to be your friend here. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret. It's different when you're married then when you're just dating. You're planning a lifelong commitment at seventeen when neither of you can communicate properly to each other sometimes. That was the problem with Anne and me."

I didn't answer him. He was right, but he was also wrong. I should not have threatened Ashley. However, that didn't mean that anything. I knew exactly what I wanted. Perhaps I did need to work on the controlling part, but I didn't think that I was that bad. The only time I felt the need to say something to her was when she was doing something stupid. Such as when she felt the need to lose weight for me to the point that she was going to use the puking snackboxes.

It wasn't something I knew for sure was true or not. I'd never brought it up with Ashley, but Ellen had written to me shortly after our fight to tell me I was terrible boyfriend because of that. The thing was, I'd been so angry with Ellen, I'd put it out of my mind. Lately however, I'd been thinking about it more and more. Michael had found Puking Pastilles in his bag.

"Michael, did you ever find out who put the Puking Pastilles in your bag last year?" I asked him.

"No," he answered. "I asked several people, but they all said no. Wasn't Ellen going to try and find that out for us?"

"Well I think she did," I said. "I was just thinking about what you said about me controlling Ashley, and some of the stupid things she does."

"Wait, you don't think it was Ashley?" Michael asked.

I nodded and explained what Ellen had said to me in the summer about it.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about that?" Michael asked.

"Because I didn't really give it much thought," I said. "I was angry with Ellen about what she'd said before, and I just ignored her. I was just thinking that the only time I try and control Ashley is when she does something stupid, and that is probably one of the dumbest things she has done."

"But if it was Ashley who gave me them, she didn't use them or at least she only used a couple. She must have changed her mind. She decided in the end to just jog around the corridors and eat healthy," Michael said. "Maybe Ellen was just trying to make you feel bad. That's something you should double check with Ellen before you bring it up with her."

"That's what I plan to do," I said. "That's the thing though Michael. I don't control her or anything, I just try to prevent her from doing stupid things. I agree with you completely that threatening her was low, and I should have found a better way to communicate with her, but I stand by everything else."

"And speak of the devil," Michael said and he nodded in the direction of Ellen who was at the notice board.

The girls had gone for a run, and I knew afterwards that Ashley was going to meet up with Alana in the library. Apparently the third year girl needed help with a Charms assignment. Ellen turned, spotted us and rushed over.

"How was the run?" Michael asked as she took a seat. "Where is Ashley?"

"Library with Alana," Ellen answered. "I think June is there too. I find it strange that Ashley knows Timmy's friends better than I do."

"Yeah but you've been ignoring him most of the term," Michael said.

"I don't want to hang out with an eleven-year-old or a thirteen-year-old and I just can't figure out why Ashley would," Ellen said. "I know she wants to help with the shy kids, but I've never understood how she can hang out with them."

"It's not as bad as you'd think," Michael informed her. "Derek and Rory are great. Besides, weren't you the one who used to complain about how the older students ignored us?"

"Yes but now I understand why," Ellen said. "Anyway, what are you two up too?"

I was glad she asked this. I figured this was the best time to ask her. I figured Ashley would be in the library with the girls for a little while. It would give us time to talk about it. I wanted to know if she was lying about what she'd said in the summer. So I brought it up to her, and I noticed her shift in her seat uncomfortably.

"She made me promise not to tell you," Ellen said. "Just as she didn't want you to know about how she was losing weight in the first place."

"I asked you to tell me if you knew anything," I reminded her.

"I know Ben, and you and I already had this conversation last year. Ashley never took the Puking Pastilles though. She realized what could happen if she did, and so she gave them to both Michael and me. If she had been taking them, I would have mentioned it when we talked last year because I would have wanted her to stop. However, by that point she was eating healthy and exercising, so why bring it up? So you could yell at her for being stupid? She already knew that, and that's why she didn't take them. I even lectured her about it. She didn't need it from you or Michael as well. I mean, are you thinking about talking to her about it now?"

"I haven't decided yet," I said.

"Well I'd advise you not to. She changed her mind about it Ben. All that will do is cause a fight between the two of you. You see her at every meal, and you can see that she eats healthy. I also run with her almost every evening when we can. She's being healthy and to bring something up that happened last year will just cause an unnecessary fight between you two, and even me. I promised her I wouldn't say a word," Ellen said. "I just got her back. I don't want another fight."

"Well I just don't understand why you'd make that promise with her," I said.

"She's my best friend Ben," Ellen answered. "It's what friends do."

"You promised me that you would talk to me-"

"Ben," Ellen said with irritation. "We can keep going in circles about this. You need to let it go. Otherwise if you're going to be this stubborn, not only are you going to have a fight with your girlfriend but with me too. Do you really want us all to fight about something when it doesn't need to happen? She did not take the skiving snackboxes."

"Mate," Michael who had been quiet for this said, "this is exactly what I am talking about. Ellen is right. You need to let it go. I'd be saying something differently if she did take them, but she didn't."

"Really?" I asked. "You're the one who said we need to communicate better-"

"So you yelling at her for something that she didn't do is your idea of communication?" Michael demanded.

"But she considered it. She went and bought those because of a comment I made-"

"And you two worked it out," Ellen said. "You talked about that. Why bring it up when she changed her mind?"

"Because I didn't know about the snackboxes," I answered.

"Fine Ben," Ellen answered angrily. "Do what you want. It's just going to cause a fight when there doesn't need to be one."

And without another word, she got up and headed over to where Keith and Dan were sitting. Michael just shook his head at me and then looked down at his homework. Were they right? Should it be something I kept to myself. I sighed and then reached into my bad for my message parchment. I wanted to know what Brianne had to say on the matter. I sent a quick glance at Michael, who was still working on his homework. I could feel Ellen glaring daggers at me, but I ignored her. I quickly wrote everything that had gone on last year to Brianne, to Ellen's new information today.

Luckily I didn't have to wait long for her to respond. I saw my message disappear, and then a few minutes later a new message appeared.

Well while I can understand why you're upset, I just don't see what good it would do to bring it up now. I'd keep an eye on her, but Ellen is right. It's just going cause a fight. She decided not to take the Puking Pastilles and she is doing it healthy. If you'd found last year when she was doing it, it would make sense to bring it up. Why now though? It would be the same if you did something stupid last year, and Ashley yelled at you for it now. I know you wouldn't tolerate it. She decided not to do it, and I would advise you to just leave it alone.

Even with a relationship?

Yes Ben, because she realized it would be stupid. She realized that she overreacted to your comment. She realized that she was going too far. So she didn't do it. It's almost been a year now. You need to let it go. You're not writing to me because you think it's a communication issue between you two. You're writing because you want to know if it's right for you to yell at her or not. I'm telling you that it's not. I'll say this however. Once someone shows tendencies for an eating disorder, it could lead to more. So while I don't think you should bring it up, I think the three of you should keep an eye on her. Particularly Ellen. Girls tend to notice these things more than boys do. So just get Ellen to watch out for her, and maybe talk to her sometimes. I think that's the best you can do about this. Likely she has learned her lesson, and she won't do anything stupid again.

Okay, I can see your point and theirs as well. However, if she does do something stupid again, I am going to say something.

Good. I can't wait to see the two of you at Christmas. You'll be amazed at how much Minnie has grown already. I'll talk to you later though Ben. Have a good night.

Thanks, you too.

So I decided not to say a word about it to her, not yet at least. I was going to keep an eye on her though. So I wrote down Ellen's number, and quickly wrote to her what Brianne had said. I wasn't sure if she was paying attention to her parchment or not. I chanced a look in her direction to see that she was looking down at her parchment. I saw her lean over to say something to Keith, and then she got up to walk back over to us.

"I've been keeping an eye on her since I found out," Ellen told me. "I agree though. All three of us should, and if she does do something stupid, that is when we bring it up. Otherwise, let's just leave it. Like I said, it's going to cause a fight and I just got you lot back. I don't want another fight, especially since it would be unnecessary."

"Well I'll do my best as well," Michael said. "I don't think we have much to worry about. Ashley has convinced her mother to make healthy meals when she is at home, and her mother said she's going to try and make a habit of it. I was at work all day but I am sure she ate every meal. I know she ate breakfast and supper. So if she didn't eat lunch, that wouldn't affect her too much."

"Good, now that we have that resolved, I am going back to Keith," Ellen said and then she turned and walked off.

"I need a girlfriend," Michael sighed. "I am surrounded by couples again."

"So talk to Nicole like Ashley suggested," I told him.

"And you'd be okay with that?" He asked me. "You two dated."

"I should never have dated her in the first place," I answered. "I don't care about her. I haven't thought much about her since we broke up. If you can handle her jealousy I'm sure you two will be fine."

"That's the thing," he said. "She knows about Ellen I'm sure."

"But she's been asking about you," I said. "She's even asked me about you. If she cared that much about Ellen, she wouldn't be asking us about you. I think she's even actually asked Ellen about you."

"Really?" Michael asked looking happy now. "Maybe I will then. I just have to work up the nerve."

I did hope he would find someone soon.

"You know what's odd?" Michael asked me.

"What?" I asked.

"I could smell Shelly Andrews in Amortentia. I've never thought of her that way before," Michael said.

"I don't think the either twin is looking to settle down," I told him, but I had to admit, that was odd.

Usually with Amortentia, if you could smell someone in it, it was the real deal. However, I doubted that either twin would want more with Michael than a quick shag. They were nice girls, but if either one of them ever decided to get into a commited relationship, I couldn't see them going for a poor person. The twins seemed to have high standards and I believed they were likely gold diggers.

"I know," Michael answered. "That's why it was strange. I don't really think it's as real as people believe it is. Ellen could smell Keith in that potion. They are not in love with each other. You're supposed to smell whatever it attracts you in that potion. Obviously she is attracted to Keith since they're together, and obviously I'm attracted to Shelly. I could smell my mothers chocolate chip cookies in it."

"But I notice you couldn't smell Ellen in it," I told him. "That must mean something there."

"It doesn't," Michael said firmly. "Besides, I am over Ellen," he added but not quite as firmly.

Lately he'd been insisting that he wasn't in love with her anymore. However, I believed he was still loved her as much as Jared still loved Ashley. The two of them still stared at the girls when they thought no one was looking. I wasn't all that surprised about Jared as some others were. He seemed to be the type that once he loved someone, he would have a hard time moving on. He was like me, he was using girls to move on.

I didn't contradict Michael. He was sixteen after all. Someday he would meet a girl who he'd finally fall in love with, and he'd forget Ellen.


End file.
